"Mr. Grimes, you have to understand despite the lack of hard evidence the brain sometimes plays tricks on us. We conducted fresh scans, there aren't any lacerations on the brain but there is slight swelling which can lead to some impairment." It wasn't so much what Rick was hearing that was making his blood boil, it was in the succinct manner it was being delivered that made him more agitated by the second.

Maggie threw a cautionary arm over him, the tenseness in his shoulders threatening to tear his shirt in two.

"Dr. King, with all due respect my wife doesn't have a headache, she can't remember who I am. Her husband! She thinks she's married to someone else!" This couldn't be happening, he felt like he was starring in an episode of The Twilight Zone.

"She remembered me, that has to mean something right?" Maggie was confused by it all but still hopeful that her friend hadn't forgotten everything.

"You were there for the exam this morning. She knows her name, she knows how to make a phone call, she can tie her shoes. Those are her implicit memories, they were untouched. Her episodic memories are what's sketchy, which leads me to believe it's a special case of retrograde amnesia. She's unable to recall things from before the accident or the accident itself. In head trauma scenarios, the brain is unpredictable like that."

"Will she remember eventually?" It was the one thing he needed to know.

"She may or may not, I've seen a few cases where the patient did regain their memory. I just can't tell you when and I don't want to get your hopes up. This isn't like a broken bone. Her memory might come back in bits and pieces and in no particular order. The lack of recall will make her confused, she may have mood swings….."

"So what do we do? How can we help her?"

"The best thing for her is to be in her regular environment but you can't force her memory back. She's gonna need patience and lots of it. I'm going to recommend a specialists who oversees cases like your wife. I'm very sorry." He scribbled a name and a number on a piece of paper and handed it to Rick.

"He's gonna help. I'll also put it on her history sheet for when she returns. Michonne also has two badly bruised ribs and a busted shoulder, she has to take it easy. We've done all we can for her. I suggest you take your wife home and see that she gets the care she needs." The Doctor left Maggie and Rick in the hallway outside her room to see his next patient.

Rick walked over to the wooden bench opposite the nurse's station and dropped his large frame on the hardened seat, his hands in his head. A throbbing headache had started to dance at his temples the minute Michonne asked who he was and it had intensified after his talk with her Doctor. He heard the seat creak with the dip of Maggie's weight beside him, her hands rubbing the tense plains of his back, yet again.

"What am I going to tell the boys? Their mother doesn't remember them?" He couldn't believe the words leaving his lips, everything seemed so surreal.

"We don't know if she does or doesn't yet." They'd be devastated if she didn't know who they were but she had faith because Michonne had been asking for her baby.

"For better or worse right? Well this is worse." When he said those vows five years ago he didn't think God would've taken it as a challenge.

"She's still Michonne, everything is just a bit distorted. You can help with that. You're the one she's going to need the most." Maggie was trying to make the dire circumstances not so bad but Rick understood what it all meant.

"She doesn't remember me Mags." The sadness in his timber brought a fresh set of tears to her eyes. "She doesn't remember she needs me." She doesn't remember how much he needs her either.

"I don't know what I'm going to say to Dre and Carl. They're more outspoken than I am. More observant, smarter..." It was his gravest concern, how was she going to treat their kids if she didn't remember them.

"You'll get through this Rick. You have all of us behind you." Her words were failing her. There was nothing she could say to abate his legitimate fears. All she could offer was her unwavering support.

"You know I promised to love her in all the ways I thought was possible." It was part of his vow that so perfectly described how wide a grasp she had on him but even in the face of this adversity he'd find a way to love her in ways that would seem impossible too.

"Can you umm, can you tell them I'll be back? There are some things I need to get done at home before I take her there."

"Whatever you need Rick." Her agreement was tacit as she watched her brother's slouched frame walk down the hallway.

She wondered how long this nightmare was going to last.

.

She saw her life in candid shots, pretty images of her and Rick, Rick and their two happy, grinning boys, the four of them together looking like a modern day postcard. From all appearances they had a happy life, she had a happy life. Rick was a devoted husband and father. Only she couldn't remember any of it. Sasha and Deanna had given her a brief recount of the things she couldn't retrace. She needed a few deep breaths to take it all in but breathing hurts when you've got two bruised ribs from a car accident you had no memory being involved in.

Somethings hit her sharply; Andre was a beautiful baby boy, his disarming brown eyes reached out to her from the screen and clutched her heart. She couldn't wait to see him and feel him in her arms. Looking at him didn't feel strange despite having no automated image appear in her head at the mention of his name. Could it be that their bond transcended the abnormalities in her brain?

Carl was his father in print, he was going to be just as handsome as his Dad. She wondered what their relationship had evolved into. They had an eager little friendship when she was in College but she had no call back on their evolution from friends to Mother and son. Everything Deanna told her implied a close relationship. Rick was the Sheriff of the town she grew up in. The news of his profession didn't surprise her. He fit the role of a protector perfectly. The endearing quality oozed off him in waves. Sasha hinted he was a kind of royalty in the area because he was so effective and efficient in his field and she could see why. Simply put he was a man people trusted.

Something, maybe her gut, was telling her although her run down on him was non existent, he could be trusted but gut was being overridden by fear of the unknown.

She would have to suss Rick Grimes out for herself.

The hysteria had subsided considerably once the onset of the belly punching news had set in. She was vaguely informed about her life over the past few years after the actualization rose quickly to the surface like a swollen, dead body that she had no recollection of it. No flashbacks of being married to Rick and from what her family suggested, the great life they built. She tried to summon scenes in her head of their courtship, their wedding, their marriage but she came up blank every time.

Internally she was in a constant state of unrest as she grasped at the straws pushed out to her via snippets of their life in pictures. She had a puzzle to build and so far the box containing the puzzle pieces was empty.

She was also still trying to wrap her mind around the fact she wasn't married to Mike.

She studied intently on whose voice was calling her out of the smog? That voice pulled her back from death. She needed that voice but it didn't belong to Mike. She wasn't even sure she remembered what Mike sounded like anymore.

Mike was dead.

"Mike is dead. Mike is dead. We were never married. I'm married to…..Rick." She was saying the same things over and over again, hoping the repetition would soak through the thickness of her skull and bring to life the things that were dead up there. Mike had been dead for years but even the freshness of his death didn't throw her into plunging sorrow as she expected.

She stared at the intricate wedding ring on her finger. She was absorbing everything better than expected even though she felt spaced out, resigning herself to being present but not all there. Her procedural memory was functioning, she could use a remote control, she could tie a tie, she remembered how to drive. The doctor's examination that morning had been intense but necessary. She could recall things she had learned that morning. It was just the events of her recent past had been completely eroded.

She was a stranger in a foreign land.

Having her sister and her step mother on either side of the hospital bed was a huge comfort in itself.

"Mike died before he knew about Andre sweetie, you and Mike weren't engaged at least not to my knowledge." Sasha proffered.

"So thinking he was my husband was me giving myself that closure I never got? You think?" She recalled them being in love, marriage had been a brief discussion but things went bad soon after. She thought Mike was the man she was going to marry but that hadn't been the case. Everything bubbled to a hazy consistency up until that point. Just because she was remembering details doesn't mean she was remembering them correctly.

"You met Rick when you were pregnant." Deanna said softly. The fact they fell in love while she was pregnant with another man's child was a blow horn to his caring nature and selfless character traits. The brief, involuntary stoic interaction she allowed herself to have with him earlier on intrigued her. She was curious about his nature, his role in her life. He seemed capable and strong, self assured with a hint of doubt that she found extremely honest.

He was sweet and polite to her, running around getting things done. It did little to hide the pain that cut across his handsome face everytime she fumbled on saying his name or when she shied away from his touch.

How could she ever forget him?

She recalled Maggie Grimes and her Father Hershel, her mother had died a long time ago but that's as far as things went. Rick Grimes was a blank canvas in a locked door in her mind.

"Rick is Maggie's brother." She turned to Sasha and said, "Bet you gave me hell when I came home with a white guy." She needed a laugh although inside she was hosting a screaming symposium.

Sasha laughed and it turned infectious as Deanna joined in too. "It runs in the family. Dad started it." She teased pointing to their step mother. Deanna stuck her hands in surrender as she enjoyed seeing her girls laughing despite the tragedy amongst them.

"I have one too. His name is Abraham he has red hair and a moustache and a big mouth and everything. We're engaged. Getting married in six weeks." Sasha felt odd bringing her sister up to speed on everything, she hoped she remembered how well she and Abe got along.

"You're engaged!," She felt like a spinning bottle with no particular direction to go but in a circle. She was missing so many chunks.

"I am and you've pretty much taken over the planning of this thing. You have a book with all your notes and numbers but I'd understand if you can't -" Michonne stopped her as she palmed her soft cheek.

She hurt inside how badly her debacle was affecting those she loved.

"How about we do it together?" This bought a happy nod from Sasha who has just grateful her sister was awake.

Sasha leaned into her touch and said, "Michonne I'm so glad you're here. I was so scared I was gonna lose you. It felt like Dad all over again. I'm glad you're alive. I'd rather have you alive with piece of your memory missing than dead with all of it."

Tears were nowhere close to running out in the room, the reality of it remained she and Andrea could be dead but they had been given a second chance. She wasn't going to waste it on being angry. It would make her recovery more extensive than she planned. She empathized with her family, with Rick; they had all been living in a hellish nightmare over the last three days.

"So Andre doesn't know about Mike." She wasn't shooting much questions, just mentioning things they had been said to her within the last hour. She was almost to the point of information overload which scared her because her brain had proven to be an unreliable storage system. She had no choice but to trust it now.

"He knows Rick is his father. Rick loves that boy. He and Carl are brothers in every sense." There was a fondness in Deanna's voice when she spoke about Rick, hearing her thoughts on the man who had been nothing but considerate to her since she woke up, even in her disability to identify him, filled her with relief. Andre was loved.

"Carl is Maggie's nephew, I remember him. We used to chat on Skype all the time." That recall was clear. Carl had been five at the time and an adorable, inquisitive little boy. She would love to hear the story on how she ended up marrying his father.

"Carl is ten years old now, he'll be eleven in a few weeks. So that's why I think it's just the last five years you can't remember? Everything you seem to remember was just up until the point you met….Rick." It dawned on Sasha that the timeline she suggested appeared accurate.

Michonne had a connection with everything up until Rick entered the picture which put a different spin on things.

"Those boys are your life Michonne. And Rick's." Deanna held her hand, her gaze boring holes in her chest. Deanna saw the question that lingered in her mind the minute she discovered she somehow had married the Sheriff of King County.

"He's a good man and he loves you very much."

"I want to believe you, I just can't ….. remember him." She felt sad about it because she witnessed the defeat in his eyes right before he left the room.

"It's not going to be easy. But maybe your memory will come back when the timing is right. In the meantime those boys need their mother and they're not gonna wait for your memory to return."

"Mom what are you saying?" Deanna was startled at first by the expression, Michonne had never called her Mom before. Sasha looked taken aback too but they didn't prod her.

"I'm saying going home with Rick is the right thing to do if that's something you're unsure about. You're safe with him." She felt the conviction behind Deanna's words and although she was afraid of the unknown she had to try for the sake of her son….sons because that's what Carl was too.

Sasha showed her another picture of Rick and the boys, they were on a wide open field of healthily maintained grass while they kicked around a football, she instantly felt a line in her heart tug. He was spending time with their sons and from the looks of glee on Carl and Andre's faces they were having a ball.

She may not remember being a wife but she knew she was a Mother and for them she would try.

"How do you feel about all of this?" Sasha asked, thinking that something of old still remained in Michonne; her tenacity.

"Honestly, like I've been in an earthquake since I woke up and the room hasn't stopped shaking yet. But having you guys here means a lot to me." Her eyes were misty again and she figured her emotions would be scattered for a while. At least she knew her amygdala still functioned.

"And we'll be here for whatever you need. Your memory is gonna return. But in the meantime how about we take it one day at a time." The three of them held hands and Michonne felt empowered by their bond. They had faith in her and she was trying to build her own faith for the blackened path before her.

"Isn't it ironic that I hate watching daytime television but now I've got typical soap opera amnesia.". It was a good plot line for a cheap thrill of a story but in real life she would do anything to get her brain functioning in order again.

An hour later she had been released with an appointment to see an amnesia Specialist and a two week return date to check up on her shoulder and bruised ribs along with painkillers for inevitable headaches. Her bags were packed and in Rick's truck.

She was unobtrusive, observing from the inside of the cabin as he hugged Sasha and Deanna goodbye in the well lit parking lot. It was a caring exchange, with a deep showcase of a family bond. She decided to ignore the conflict between her unrefreshed memory and the evidence of his loving nature. She wasn't going to a home she couldn't cite with a man who was a complete stranger, not to her family at least.

She relaxed in the seat, her nerves were at a calm now and she waited for Rick to start the engine.

Her secret hope remained that seeing the home she lived in for the past five years would assist in extracting some type of happy memory of her husband.


October 2013

The house was unusually quiet for the dusky time of the evening, it was just after sunset and Rick jubilantly walked through the door despite the trying day he had endured. He was learning new systems and procedures as the new Sheriff and the induction period had been bumpy as he adapted to his new role. The best part of his day and had been for the past three months was when work ended and he got to go home to the three people who meant more to him than his own life.

He bypassed the loud television that had no audience in the TV room and ignored the aromatic scent of some kind of stew that called to his belly loudly, in search of his family. He bounded up the staircase with intent, this time of the evening was normally carded for homework and bath time so when he found the three missing persons all asleep on his bed it was a closed case.

He pulled off the khaki Sheriff's uniform after securing his badge and gun, remaining g in his under clothes and tiptoed to the bed. Andre was tucked in the safety of Michonne's arms sound asleep and Carl lay on the other side snoring softly with a hand flung untidily over Michonne's waist.

Always attuned to him, her eyes lifted open and he was blessed with one of her game changing smiles. The one that moved him from it's nice to meet you to will you marry me.

"Hey." He bent and kissed her pouty lips lingering for a few seconds just to savor the taste of her.

"Had a good day?" She asked, unable to move as the boy and the baby demanded the cushion of her body to luxuriate in their sleep.

"It was ok. How did this happen?" He gestured to where they lay and eased his way onto the king size bed.

"One minute we were counting numbers and the next we were counting sheep." She shrugged and laughed thinking of the many ways Carl fought her on the afternoon nap only to discover he was the first one to knock out.

She couldn't take her eyes off her husband, his close proximity always had a way of unsettling her in the best way. She craved him like a drug addict needing a fix.

"I missed you today." He touched her leg ensconced in denim shorts, he lingered on the smoothness, sometimes the softness surprised him but as he was discovering, her body was a wonderland.

"I missed you too." Andre began to stir, his small fists pumping in the air waiting for freedom to release him from his Mother's hold. Rick was too eager to rescue him, once his chocolate brown eyes opened he swooped in, clutching him closely.

"It's almost like he heard your voice." It was a developing trait, she was certain Andre knew who Rick was. Another reason to add to the Mt. Everest high list of reasons why she loved this man.

He had taken Andre for his own and even with the disparity in their skin color nobody could tell him otherwise.

"He just missed his Daddy is all." he said proudly, kissing his downy crown and inhaling his powder fresh scent, filling his aura with all things innocent and perfect.

"You know I thought this house was too big with four bedrooms…"

Rick had said it was an ambitious buy but with two kids from the get go they needed the space. "But I think I'm ready to move Andre into his room now. Full time." She was also ready to make love to her husband without being mindful of the baby in the room. Most times Rick had her squirming, suppressing screams and moans as he brought her to peaks she never knew existed.

"Yeah?" His eyebrows shot up with anticipation, understanding the subtext in her statement.

She grinned at his excitement because she was excited too. Her body had begun to resemble her pre pregnancy image and while she enjoyed pregnancy sex with Rick she was ready for their unbridled passion to extend in scope.

"The house isn't that big babe. Andre will have his own room, Carl is in his and sooner or later when we're ready we'll add another baby to the mix. We're gonna make some beautiful memories in this house." He always wanted a big family but the desire intensified now that he had found the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

"Yes we are." She said resolutely a wide smile playing upon her face. He took her in, her beauty almost gave him no choice.

"Sasha and Maggie said they're coming over tomorrow to help me unpack." It had been three months of living day by day, unable to make heavy plans for their home as time had been stretched between the kids and Rick's new position. The fourth bedroom was still a room full of unpacked boxes waiting to be organized.

She slowly separated herself from Carl, she smoothed back the rapidly growing chestnut brown hair from his innocent face and faced Rick. She wanted to absorb every expression he displayed when she shared the latest development between her and Carl.

He rose and started walking the room with Andre when he began to fuss. The blinds hadn't been pulled so there was still a bit of light penetrating their bedroom.

"Carl asked if he could call me Mom today. He said he didn't want Dre to be confused when he got bigger."

"Andre huh?" Rick laughed, to say his son was smart was a complete understatement but Carl had been pretty taken with Michonne right at the start so he wasn't completely surprised by his well thought out suggestion. They had the perfect mix of friendship and a familial bond that often left him in awe. "What did you tell him?" He was curious about her response.

"I told him I'd run it by you first." She had no problem with it and inside she was moved by the knowledge he felt that type of affinity towards her. Rick sat on the bed again, facing her. Andre was cradled in one arm and he used his other hand to caress her cheek, his thumb rubbing her lips. "That's what you've been to Carl Michonne, even before we exchanged vows. Lori is gone and she'll always be special to him but your his mother now. I know how much you love him." It was a wall of safety for them both knowing how much they loved each other's child.

Her eyes filled at his words, "I do love him. And I love Andre and I love you Rick. I love the life we have. You took all of my big plans and just created such a bigger story I would've never imagined…." Leftover hormones from her pregnancy had her crying at the drop of a hat but when it came to her husband and her children she wore her emotions on her sleeve.

He leaned in and took her lips in a lavish exploration of love and need. His tongue swept the inside of her mouth as she moaned into him. Rick was a fire starter but they still had dinner and bath time to get done.

"Hey….save some of that for later. I've got plans for you." She licked his lips to end their kiss knowing she was teasing him terribly.

"Well I hope you got enough rest today, because you're gonna be busy tonight."

She saw the mischievous glint in his blue eyes and raised him a cute wink, she was looking forward to it.


"Whoa! We have a lot of ice cream in this fridge. Who's the junkie?" She asked as the blast from the freezer hit her face. She had been parading in and out of the rooms of the beautiful house they lived in, hoping that something would spark her brain to shift from park to drive but to no avail.

The home Rick told her he purchased solely for them was breathtaking. There was a huge backyard for the boys to play. She loved the white wrap around porch that took up the front of the house. There was a small flower garden to the side of the front yard and she could see the appeal. Inside was more aesthetically pleasing with beautifully decorated rooms perfect for family dinners and family events. It was the kind of place she always wanted to raise a family.

The orientation of all the rooms and the odd fact about them he opted to mention on his tour did nothing to stir her recall like she hoped. It was an easy fight to give up but she attempted to divert her attention elsewhere. She needed to prepare herself for the boys. For Andre and Carl. Her boys. Her children. She was a mother, somewhere inside she knew it and accepted it.

She couldn't remember being Rick's wife. She was no longer a trustworthy computer storing relevant information, she was more like the eager tide washing away the writings on the sand.

"Um...we are, it's kind of a thing." She was the one to ensure the fridge remained fully stocked because of their healthy sex life and their keen appetite for sweet treats. Another thing she had forgotten.

"Oh!" She got there was a naughty story behind the elaborate amount of ice cream in the freezer but she wasn't sure she was ready to hear it.

"I think I'm hungry." Once that was said, her stomach grumbled in support of her statement.

"I can make you something." His stomach grumbled too and he discovered he hadn't eaten for the day. He immediately started opening cupboard doors and lining up key ingredients for the dish he wanted to prepare.

"I think I'll go take a shower while you do that. Is that ok?"

"Yeah. I'll be here when you're done. You remember where…...our room is right? If you need anything just call."

"I'll be ok." She said softly and disappeared in the same manner.

He braced himself against the sink, he felt he was wearing a mask like a participant in Mardi Gras in an exaggerated piece. He was trying not to lose it, not when he had so much to be grateful for like the fact his wife was alive and in one piece. Still, it pained him she was so close but yet so far from him. He prayed she didn't look at the boys with that vacant stare he had been subjected to today. He didn't blame her for feeling like an alien in her own home, he could only imagine what she was experiencing.

He tossed the minced meat in the pan and placed a pot of water to boil for the pasta. While he waited to stir the chili he decided to call his father to let him know he would be coming for the boys soon.

.

She entered the cozy bedroom she allegedly shared with Rick. The room was compact with an en suite bathroom and a roomy walk in closet. Brown drapes lined the large window and a beautiful cream duvet decorated the bed. There was even a small sofa under the window. It created an intimate setting for the couple that dwelled there. She was supposed to be a part of a whole but her half had been fractured, she couldn't conjure any images of her and Rick in this room, sharing moments. She ran through scenarios in her mind, intimate conversations, reading in bed, making love but they were instantly made up stories that may or my not hold any truth.

Picturing them making love left her flustered at the sultry, unprompted images that popped in her mind. She made her way to the cream colored bathroom in desperate need of a hot shower and her hands covered her mouth in surprise, in gratitude at what she found there. Large yellow post it notes with brief details on the things she figured she used most decorated the wall at the side of the medicine cabinet, the mirror and over the shower handle. Things she obviously wouldn't have known off the bat.

*Yours is the baking soda toothpaste. I'm not allowed to touch it.*

*Purple toothbrush is yours. It's your favorite color btw.*

*Your vitamins are in the med cab. You forget to take them most days :)*

*Floss is also in there. You're obsessed. Lol*

*Throw everything in the hamper. We do wash on Fridays.*

When did he have time to do all of it? It was incredibly sweet of him to guide her on the run down of their bathroom. She noticed or rather didn't notice any birth control pills or condoms in the medicine cabinet, she was curious about their sex life. Were they purposefully trying to get pregnant? Was she able to have more children? She stepped into the rich, gold tiled bathroom and stood under the overhead shower as she mused on the day.

She was grateful for Rick and the fact he was catering to her needs without her having to be asked redundant questions. He was proactive in his care for her and she was appreciative of his kindness.

She desired to move from viewing him as a stranger to seeing him as a friend she could trust.

Her eyes closed as the stall filled with steam and the water. She was hungry but she needed the water to help her relax.

"Chili? And Mac and Cheese? Together? C'mon!" She was weirded out by the combination but yet burning with curiosity to try the concoction that lay plated before her.

"Believe it or not it's actually one of our favorites. The combination may not sound appealing but trust me…. It's meant to be." He stuffed a spoonful in his mouth. It was his joke that the Mac and cheese treat was meant to be just like them but it didn't strike a note for her.

"Meant to be huh? Sounds like something my ex used to say." He was soon put in his place by her words, it had strike a note it just hit the wrong chord.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…." She didn't know why she was bringing up Mike. His face looked forlorn and she wished she could take back what she so ill timely spoke. He was playing with his food now, shoving the colorful cuisine around the plate.

"It's ok." He brushed it off and she felt even more disjointed than before. "Listen umm...I called Dad while you were in the shower and he said the boys were already asleep. He said to come by in the morning. There's a teacher's conference tomorrow so no school anyway." He shrugged and drank a few sips of the cranberry juice she had poured for them trying to swallow the despondent way he felt.

"Oh." Was all she said. She was looking forward to meeting the boys but she was also looking forward to hopefully using them as a buffer between them. She was psyching up all evening to jump back into the Mommy role she knew she could step into with minute friction. Andre and Carl would make it easy and maybe she wouldn't feel like an actor on a stage everytime they looked at her.

Acting with Rick wasn't going to win her any Emmy's even with a good ole amnesia trope.

What she needed with him was totally recall and perhaps the ice around them might begin to melt.

"I remember where the farm is. Maybe I can get them?" She couldn't see herself staying indoors all day. She had no recollection of her relatively new job but she was on extended medical leave either way. She might as well make herself useful.

Rick shook his head at her suggestion and she perked up awkwardly.

"Your car was totaled in the accident so until I can get you another one I'll have to take you wherever you need to go."

She hated being an inconvenience. "Can't I just use your truck?" She could easily drop him off to work and use his vehicle to pick up the boys and run errands, once she knew what those errands were.

"That may not be such a good idea."

"Why not!" Her tone was slightly raised and he tried his best not to take the attack personal.

"Because my truck is huge and you've never quite mastered the art of it. I think because it's so wide, your averagin' isn't the best."

"Exactly what are you trying to say?"

"I'm saying you end up hittin' a lot of animals when you drive it." He tried to say it as simply and as quickly as he could so she wouldn't feel offended.

Her hands flew to her mouth. In this life was she an animal killer?

He wanted to laugh because they made so many jokes about it before but her expression was of shock and not humor and he wanted to respect her.

"Besides I see you wince every time you move. You're obviously in pain."

That she couldn't deny, her torso felt like someone was drilling under her skin. "I'm ok."

"You can say if you're not Michonne. I'd just prefer if you stay at home and get as much rest as you can. I'll see if I can put in a request for some leave."

She knew he was right but she didn't like the feeling of being a burden. "You don't have to do that Rick. I'll -"

"You're my wife." His tone had an edge to it and she decided it was time for a change of topic.

"How long did we date before we got married?" What she really wanted to ask was how long did it take for them to fall in love.

"Four months." he said around another bite. His appetite was shot, he was just eating to be occupied. She didn't remember any of it, not even the Genesis of their greatness. Like the way they spent half hour saying goodnight. They way she loved when he kissed her neck. Despite her extensive wardrobe collection she was most comfortable wearing his clothes whenever she stayed over. He hoped she would recall soon the depth and substance of the life they had together.

As the brief dinner went on the conversation morphed into a more light hearted tone. They talked about everything and nothing and it felt like before, they had always been able to talk like best friends did, right at the start.

The flow of their conversation felt familiar to her. To him the camaraderie was inevitable like a pen scribbling out words of a bestseller, the flow was innate.

"Can I ask you to do something for me?" His eyes were downcasted, afraid to look her in the eye for fear of his request being rejected.

She was quite surprised he asked something of her. She nodded, afraid his request would cost more than she could afford.

"Can I just hold you? It doesn't have to be for long." He almost lost her in that car crash and his world hasn't been the same since.

The naked look in his eyes and the twirling of his thumb at his side was when everything hit her. She was a broken emblem, highlighting the damage of their correlation.

She wanted to find the light switch so badly in that moment, to shed some light on the both of them. As much as she saw the love emanating on his face, she knew she couldn't love him in the dark. Her fearful response would come across cruel even though she wasn't trying to be. She felt ashamed for not being able to bridge the gap between them just yet despite the many bricks he was trying to lay.

"Can we…...can we take things slow?"

He heard the apologetic way she said it and although crushed he knew she was right. Better they wait for that kind of intimacy than she hug him out of a sense of obligation or worse, pity. He shouldn't have asked especially as he never had to seek permission to touch what belonged to him before. It was a reflex that his heart was seeking out possession of her own.

He didn't want to stick around to highlight more ways of how desperate he was to be close to her so he chose solitude instead of sympathy and said, "I'm exhausted. With the boys coming home tomorrow it's gonna be a long day. I suggest you get some rest. If you need anything….water, your medication, someone to talk to then I'm your man." Yeah he said it on purpose.

She nodded, too unsure to speak. "Where will you…..?" She already knew he would be a gentleman and give her some time before they share a space again.

"I'm two doors down the hall in our guest room." He left her in the kitchen and she felt the weight of her ordeal so heavy burdened on her shoulders all she could do was slouch over and cry.

...

She heard the tortured ramblings as soon as it started, she had been laying in the dark staring up at the ceiling unable to fall asleep. Her surroundings felt cold and unfamiliar. Given the late hour and the fact there was only one other occupant in the house she deduced Rick was having a nightmare and she was certain he was calling her name.

She threw the covers off and sought her way through the dark to seek him out.

He was in a twist and turn dance when she entered the room, a hint of moonlight reached inside and took vigil on the bed and the light from the hallway highlighted the fact he slept shirtless.

"Rick." She hovered over him as much as her bruised ribs would allow and his eyes opened at her touch.

"Michonne!" He said alarmed, trying to erase the cruel visions in his head with the swipe of a hand over his tired eyes.

"You were having a nightmare. I heard you from down the hall."

Still trying to catch his bearings he rambled a bit, "You were calling for me. I was trying to get you. The closer I got the further away you were.". Even in his sleep she was out of reach. He dropped his fatigued frame on the pillow. He was weary from it all and even his body knew it.

"I couldn't….I couldn't save you." Everything was coming to a crescendo as she identified the undertone in his elaboration.

Guilt was eating at him, even in his sleep. The place where he should be getting some much needed rest. He probably blamed himself for her accident and it made her more curious about what exactly happened that night.

She sat on the bed, his body almost pressed tightly next to his. She reached out and touched his shoulder. "It's ok. I'm here." She wanted to add at least physically but decided against it.

She could empathise with his need. She understood that even though she felt like he was a stranger to her, he couldn't desist from viewing her as his wife.

While her memory was shot, his was functioning as it should. None of this was easy on him.

A part of her wondered briefly what being inside his arms would feel like. She wondered if they were a touchy feely couple but decided not to ask. He smelled like clean sheets and deodorant and their eye contact remained unbroken. Her brain had a persistent instinct to trust what she saw in his eyes and what lay in the depth of his gaze was unbridled, unconditional love. She was trying not to stare but not even the backdrop of night could mask the handsomeness of his face. It couldn't hide his turmoil at not being able to save her either. She felt the monumental weight on his shoulder and wanted desperately to not be a stranger but the woman he needed while the night staved off the debacle that would be waiting for them in the morning.

She just wished she knew what that really meant for him, what it would entail.

"Rick. I think…...I think I'll be okay with that hug now." Even in the velvety darkness of the room she saw his face light up. If she could find a way to temporarily soothe his turmoil, to ease his pain of almost losing her then a hug was an easy thing to surrender.

She eased her way up to his side, amidst the tangled sheets. He relaxed against the bed, a pillow to his back and waited for her to make a move. He was letting her know she was safe, the ball was in her court and he wouldn't do anything to overstep the boundaries implied by her amnesia. She gently leaned into him halfway and he lifted his arm and allowed it to settle on her shoulder. Her skin burned where he touched her and she ignored it purposefully. She was already struggling to not stare at his bare chest.

It was a friendly hug, and she heard his sharp release of breath when she fully leaned into him.

"Thank you." It was said so softly she barely heard it. They stayed in the opportune embrace for a few seconds before she spoke. "How about we go downstairs and watch a movie." Somehow she knew they weren't going to sleep now.

"I'd like that." Rick said as he released her. He was in gratitude for her simple care and concern.

She leapt off the bed just like Andre did when he was excited about something. He glimpsed at the clock on the wall, squinting his eyes he barely read the time as 2:28 am.

He found his T-shirt and rushed it over his head as they both left the room. Four steps ahead on the wooden staircase she looked back with a teasing glint, "Maybe we can have some of that ice cream." She flashed him a grin and it was like kool aid on a scorching day.

He smiled, grasping onto a glimmer of hope that his Michonne was just below the surface of the woman who was struggling with remembering the key role he played in her life.

His wife was still there and maybe tonight they had taken the plunge together from strangers to friends.