The Awakening

A Brian and Justin Fan Fiction

Ch 3: No Release for the Soon to Be Released

It was day three of my hospital stay and Brian hadn't left my side the entire time. I was grateful he was there and grateful he saved my hide again. He saved me before when I was bashed, and the memories of that night came back to me. It was the best night of my life turned tragic. I thought I could never experience anything worse. I was wrong.

Again, Brian was sleeping in that fated arm chair, set to wake up any moment. The waking up scared me the most. Because then the memories would come rushing back to him and he would realize he no longer has a boyfriend but an empty shell. I hated to do that to him. I wanted him to be happy even if I couldn't be. Brian woke up, stretched, and the taut fabric of his shirt lifted up just enough for me to see a bit of the skin from his stomach. A feeling of longing ran through me but it slowly faded as I remembered that Brian probably would never want to touch me again. My thoughts were interrupted when Brian knelt by my hospital bed. I pretended to be asleep but that never fooled him. He was too smart and cunning.

"I know your awake, Justin. But I want you to feel comfortable so you can continue on the way you are. I just wanted to tell you some great news! You'll be getting out of here tomorrow!" Brian told me this with an excitement that I wish I could have experienced myself.

I would be getting out of this bed and be able to strech my limbs. I wondered if stretching my limbs would hurt. Brian interrupted this thought with another statement. This one, not so happy.

"The only thing is, the doctors want you to have a physical therapy session today. I know how much you hate those, but they want to make sure you can walk on your own." Brian lowered his voice when saying the last bit. He knew as well as I did that I hated being treated like I was an invalid or an infant. He figured that out from the last time I needed physical therapy. To this I opened my eyes. "I knew you were awake," Brian smiled.

"Unfortunately."

"Don't say that," Brian became angered and stood up with his arms folded across his chest. Never a good sign. "I'm glad you are here! I'd be a wreck if you didn't make it." Brian almost started crying but I could see how hard he was trying to hold back his tears. He knelt back down besides me and avoided meeting my eyes until he could stop the tears from flowing. He finally looked back up at me and I realized then just how much he loved me. I thought I knew it before but I was mistaken. He loved me so much more than I thought. That was going to make things even harder.

I was relieved when the nurse on duty came in to adjust my IV. I wouldn't have to face the emotions that hung in the air like moisture droplets in a cave. But soon I would, sooner than I would have liked. The doctor came in after the nurse had left to take me to my first of many physical therapy sessions and he had asked Brian to step outside. Brian declared he would be back and I was both glad yet afraid. I didn't know what he would expect from me when I would be released. Would I go back to his place? Would he wait on me hand and foot? Would he expect anything from me? Could I give him anything? All these questions and more invaded my mind. I knew one thing for sure. I wasn't ready for him to touch me yet. I needed to release my inner demons, and there were plenty, before I could let him back in, literally and figuratively.