We waited for General Melchett in the Lobby like always. I amused myself by partaking in my new favorite hoppy, irritating Darling. At least there were some perks to being in the army.

"How are you today, Darling?"

The other captain scowled at me from behind the table.

"Why do you care, Blackadder?"

"I should care shouldn't I?" I smiled at him. "We are, after all, friends?"

He leaned closer to me and hissed, spit flying in my face.

"You are not and never will be my friend."

Suddenly there was a bleat and we broke apart. General Melchett walked through the door, medals shining in the dull light. Me and my men quickly snapped into a line and saluted.

"Captain Blackadder! Just the man I wanted to see! How are you holding up?"

"Very well, sir. May I say that you are looking extremely well, sir?"

"Why, thank you. Now to business. We are thinking of using you three for a secret mission into Germany."

"Why us, sir?" Baldrick asked.

"Speak when you are spoken to, Baldrick." I snapped. "But why us?" I was curious.

"Because you're completely useless." Darling sneered. Melchett laughed.

"Very good Darling. I know you like a joke every once in a while."

"Do you?" I questioned.

"As I was saying, we need you to go into Germany and spy on their soldiers."

"But surely sir that would be suicidal?"

"Unfortunately yes but there's nothing we can do about that. Just think about it. You might survive."

"What are our chances?"

"60-40 the place is relatively low risk, due to lack of protection."

"A bit like Lady Hamilton's chances of getting pregnant."

"Indeed."

"Sir?" George stepped forward. He really did look awful.

"Yes George."

"Permission to be excused?"

"Why?"

"Because I think I'm going to be bally well sick."