Day 3: Fiery Eyes, Fragile Heart
There's something about her. Something unique to who she was that made her...so much different then other girls I've dated. Maybe I'm just a goof, or maybe it's the San Lorenzo jungle air; whatever the rhyme or reason, I can't stop thinking about her.
I think one of the things I admire most about her is the fire in her eyes. How she contains those embers of hidden passion behind those calming, beautiful eyes of hers. How she doesn't hesitate to say she'll beat someone up when I know, that deep inside, she wouldn't hurt a fly. That she wouldn't hurt me, even.
Even though a lot of people do like her, they still find her aggressive at some times. I mean, sure, she can get bossy, and sassy, but, in truth, that's not always aggression. I don't think it is anyway.
It was something that fascinated me, ever since her first kind act for me. But, as time went on, I learned this single kind act wasn't a rarity, but her true soul. Her true self.
For some reason, one I still can't explain, she's allowed me into her world. One that few people are given entry to, which makes her gesture sweeter than possible.
I think the ticket into her wonderful heart was given to me when she talked about her father for the first time. She said she had trouble with him growing up, but, in the past few years, she'd been getting along with him more.
"When I told him my plans to come here, instead of shunning me, he was actually ok with it. He was supportive even. I guess, over the years, as he saw me get older and mature, he realized I'm not a little girl anymore; that I can handle myself, because of how he's raised me. I'll never forget the plane departing at the local airport. I got my bags and looked him in the eye. I was going to say something light-hearted, to get our minds off this trip that had no definite end. But, before I could give a witty quote, he put his shoulder on my arm and looked me in the eye.
'Stella,' he said. 'I'm not sure how long you'll be gone, or if you'll ever come back. But I want you to know something. I'm proud of you. Proud that you've come so far, and have farther to go. I'm proud and I love you.'
We hugged and then we went my separate ways; I to San Lorenzo and he to stay at home, with my sister," she finished, with tears in her eyes.
"I'm sure you'll see him again," I said, trying to sound optimistic.
"I wish I could be as optimistic as you," she said, trying to smile.
"Why can't you be?"
"Because he died a year after I left," she finally confessed.
I didn't know what to say. I mean, what could I say to that? "Sorry for your loss"? "He knew you loved him"? "He's in a better place now"?
"How did he pass?" I finally willed myself to ask. She looked at me, her usual ember eyes filled with sadness that overpowered her usual passion.
"Cancer. He developed cancer the month I left, and fought it for a long time. I'm sure he gave the cancer a good run for its money," she chuckled once, "knowing my ol' dad, he gave the cancer a good 1,2."
When I looked over at her, I saw a single tear on the side of her eye.
I knew, right then, that I wasn't fragile compared to her heart and soul. That I, although I was currently physically weak, could at least stand with a healthy, happy heart.
We sat by the burning fire. And for once, her usual ember was being extinguished by her own tears.
***
She's pregnant! I'm going to be a dad! It's gotta be one of the happiest days of my life. We got back to the village and I practically screamed to the heavens I was going to be a father. Stella blushed, and threatened to punch me if I didn't keep quiet, but there was something off about her today.
When she found out she was going to be a mother, she was thrilled, but, as we made our way back to the village, her enthusiasm slowly disappeared. A small frown adorned her plastered happy face. I knew something was wrong. I've only seen this frown one other time.
I went to her and held her close to me. She hugged back.
"I wish he could've seen this," she said, sadly.
I kissed her forehead and rubbed the back of her head. "I wish I could've met him."
"I'm sure he'd like you, after he threatened you to never break my heart, or else," she said, with a slight chuckle.
I laughed a bit too.
"He'll always be there with you. Even if you can't see him," I offered.
She smiled, and hugged me closer.
"Thanks Miles," she told me.
"Anytime," I replied.
We walked into our hut, getting ready to help the villagers with chores, when, suddenly, I heard her speak.
"What should we name our baby?"
I'm not going to lie. I hit the table in front of me and practically fell out of my seat.
"Uhhhh," I said, completely thrown off guard.
"Do you want choose the name if its a girl? I have the name for a boy," she asked.
I nodded, letting her have the preference, but was still curious as to what our potential son's name would be.
"Out of curiosity, what's our son's name going to be?" I asked.
Stella looked at me and wore a small smile. "Arnold. Just like my father."
