A/N: Shortish, transition chapter really. Not sure when the next one will be up. To my reviewers:
DrKerryWeaver: Thanks for reviewing the update- I couldn't resist adding those last two lines!
bingsrule: Thanks for leaving your thoughts. As I mentioned in the first chapter though, Ross was fighting his desire to be right and just himself in general for wanting to be a good friend. He's a good guy; he'd choose the right thing in the end. Besides, would Phoebe give up on Santa even if a present didn't turn up?
writerchic16: Thanks. Yes, Ross would love the satisfaction of being proved right- once again. Here's the update.
Drama Queen Johnson: Thank you. Ross is a good guy overall, we all know that (even Ross knows that). I'm looking forward to writing the C&M mission, random lines of dialogue keep appearing in my head and it should be good!
nannygirl: Thanks- the Joey key thing was a sudden stroke of inspiration (I wondered if it might be a little over the top, but…) Here's chapter 3 then!
Disclaimer: I think I said this before, but here it is again anyway- they aren't mine.
'So here it is, Merry Christmas! Everybody's having fun…' Slade, Merry X'mas Everybody
Joey had never been very good at going to sleep on Christmas Eve. All of the excitement went to his head and the hype just kept building up, causing him to toss and turn, looking forward to the next day for the presents and the people and great Christmassy feeling- and, of course, the food.
Ah, the food… One of Joey's favourite things about Christmas Day. He could stuff himself full of good turkey and roast potatoes, cranberry sauce and carrots, Christmas pudding and chocolate. Yes, Joey decided with a grin, Christmas sure was a great day. Starting to get uncomfortably hot all tangled up in his bed covers, he looked hopefully at his clock. Just gone two in the morning. It was already Christmas!
He bounded out of bed like an overexcited dog and scrambled to his door, pulling it open and rushing out of it. He flicked on the light switch that was just outside his bedroom door, allowing him to see the festively decorated apartment. His eyes lit up when they fell upon the small Christmas tree by the sofa and the sizable stack of presents scattered beneath it. He grinned to himself again, feeling so giddy he could have clapped.
On his way over to the beautifully wrapped gifts that were just crying out to be opened, he fell over his barca lounger, which had been left in the reclining position. With an almighty thump he crashed to the ground. The floorboards made a hollow sound beneath his weight and for a split second he was worried that he might fall through. But, then he remembered he had fallen in the apartment plenty of times before and that the trusty floorboards could support sudden weight well.
'What the hell is wrong with you?' Rachel hissed, appearing in her bedroom door, rubbing her head. Her hair was all over the place and her baby bump was starting to show under her plain pyjama top. As he stood, Joey backed away from her slightly. Rachel had never been a good morning person.
'Tripped over the chair,' he mumbled, avoiding her steely gaze.
'It's two in the morning!' She said in a harsh whisper. 'What're you doing wandering around?'
'It's Christmas!' he said. 'Come on, Rach- presents!'
Rachel straightened and put her hands on her hips.
'No. No presents until at least seven, that's the rule.'
'You're not my mother,' he told her.
'I might as well be.'
Joey was taken aback for a moment.
'Rachel!' He whined after a few seconds had passed. 'It's Christmas.'
'Only just!' she retorted. 'Besides, Christmas isn't just about presents.'
'I know, I know. It's about baby Jesus,' Joey replied, remembering what his mother had told him ever since he was small.
'Not what I was thinking, but good enough,' Rachel said with a shrug. 'Now, if you don't mind, I'm going back to bed and I don't want to be woken up again.' She turned to return to the cosy, warm nest of her bed but Joey interrupted.
'Play foosball with me?' He asked, looking at her innocently.
'I want to go to sleep, Joe!'
'Me too, but it's too exciting!'
'Go to sleep then. When you wake up- at a decent time- everything will still be here and then you can open presents and we can go to Monica and Chandler's to have a delicious Christmas dinner!'
'Fine, I'll try.'
'Good.'
Rachel returned to the welcome darkness of her bedroom, leaving Joey standing on his own, staring longingly at the presents with his name on. With a sigh, he turned his back to them, falling over the reclined lounger once again.
'Damn chair!' he exclaimed, pulling himself up quickly and glaring at it.
Someone was banging on the floorboards beneath Joey's feet.
'Don't get too frisky up there!' A female voice called.
'Sorry, Mrs Waterman,' Joey called back down. He walked over to his bedroom door and, as he turned the living room light off, he looked fondly at his chair.
'I didn't mean it,' he said softly, pressing the switch and plunging the room into darkness again.
Ross heard a knocking on his bedroom door. Of course, he knew who it was and he was tired of her waking him up by constantly banging any type of wood that stood between them.
'Ross,' Phoebe's voice floated through. He could just see her feet beneath the door, backlit by the light flowing through from the living room. 'Ross, I can't sleep.'
Slowly, Ross crawled out of his bed and opened the door, coming face to face- again- with Phoebe.
'I can't sleep,' she repeated.
'Me neither,' he told her, eyebrows raised manically. 'And you know why?'
'Why?' Phoebe ask, eyes alive with instant curiosity.
'Because somebody keeps knocking my door!'
'I told you that getting the police on them would only anger those kids more, Ross!' Phoebe said, completely missing the point. 'Do you want me to see to them, do you want me to show them a piece of the Pheebs?'
'No, thank you,' he said sarcastically. 'But thanks for offering.'
'Anytime,' she said lightly. Ross spared a moment to roll his eyes in exasperation. As much as he loved Phoebe as one of his best friends, she could be difficult for him to deal with- they were just so different.
'So then, Pheebs, what's the issue this time?' he queried, wanting to get whatever it was over and done with.
'Same thing really, she replied with a noncommittal shrug. 'I can't sleep knowing that any time within the next few hours the one and only Santa Clause will be coming down my chimney…' She paused a moment and then froze, a look of horror etched across her features. To Ross, the effect was comical as he knew what Phoebe had just realised.
'You don't have a chimney, do you, Phoebe?' he asked, trying to keep the jeering tone out of his voice. He wanted to appear sympathetic, he really did. Phoebe nodded slowly, her mouth tight shut.
'Another reason why he can't possibly exist then,' he pointed out.
'More like another crap reason that you think is hard evidence,' Phoebe countered, coming back from her stunned daze. 'No, I've decided I don't need to worry about that, he's Santa. He can do anything, what with his magic and all.'
Ross's expression froze. He couldn't comprehend the idea of magic at all- it was ridiculous. 'What kind of magic?' he inquired, wanting to hear Phoebe's latest wacky theory.
'Only Santa knows that… But, I'm guessing he could have a magic key that can open any door… Yeah, and if anyone questions him, he just shows them his Santa license with the official seal and they know it's him. That could get him in anywhere.'
Phoebe, at least, seemed convinced by her own reasoning.
'So, you're that if I dressed up in a decent Santa costume and tried to get into some big fancy house, they'd just let me in because they would that I was Santa?' Ross said.
'No, of course not. They'd know that you're not Santa, you're too tanned. Besides, you wouldn't have his license and magic key.'
Ross nodded disbelievingly.
'Right, of course.'
'It's true! Do you think I just made that up?'
Ross looked at her for a long moment. 'I'm going to bed,' he said eventually, turning round and walking back into his room where he crawled back into his bed.
Phoebe watched as he had closed the door in her face.
'Where's the Christmas spirit people?' she asked of the empty room.
A/N: Short filler chapter really. Up next, Monica and Chandler attempt to deliver the present. But, of course, they have no magic key or Santa license…
