Yuuri sat in the single therapy room waiting for his session to start with Viktor. He was thankful that his morning didn't go off with a hitch and could only hope the rest of the day will be the same. No bad interactions with anyone and no panic attacks. He could hear footsteps coming towards the room, and he took a deep breath to mentally prepare himself. He was getting nervous, he assumed Viktor will bring up what occurred yesterday. He was always good at hiding when he had his panic attacks, not a lot of people knew he got them, and if they did know, they didn't know how often. He felt he was a nuisance to people and wanted to avoid that aftereffect awkward interactions.

The door opened, and Viktor walked in with a smile plastered to his face and his eyes shining bright. He wore a form fitting, deep rich green V-neck knit sweater, with black slacks today. Yuuri took notice how the sweater clung to his toned shoulders and arms. Following the V-neck down his chest…

Get a grip Yuuri!

Yuuri shook his head and tried focusing on Viktor's face, but that was distracting as well.

Viktor wasn't doing much better, he was looking at how Yuuri's athletic shirt clung to every dip and curve of his muscles. His face looking ever so adorable. Viktor shook his head trying to focus on the task at hand, which was Yuuri's therapy session.

Viktor cleared his throat, "Hello Yuuri, how are you feeling today?"

"Fine." Yuuri mumbled, awaiting the inevitable.

"Have you been sleeping well? I know you been here a few days, but it is a bit different from home, so I know a lot of people have trouble sleeping."

"At first, I had some trouble sleeping, but I slept well last night."

"Good, that's good." Viktor knew about Yuuri's panic attack that happened yesterday and that Otabek had warned him that it would be brought up today, but Viktor wanted to challenge Yuuri and see if he would bring it up himself. "Have you been settling in okay?"

"Yeah, everything has been fine." Yuuri was beginning to get visibly nervous. Viktor could hear a slight shakiness to his voice and a bead of sweat rolled down Yuuri's forehead. Viktor mumbled "Good" and wrote down some notes in his notebook he had on his lap. He remained silent for a few minutes pretending to write more notes, when instead, he just drew a picture of a dog.

"I had a panic attack yesterday." Yuuri finally blurted out, unable to take the silence any longer. He sighed a big sigh of relief and slumped his shoulders.

"You did?! Well then let's talk about that. What happened?" Viktor tried his best to sound shocked but failed.

"Didn't Otabek tell you? He said he had to inform you of what happened."

"He did. But I don't want to hear it from him Yuuri, I want to hear it from you. Otabek can't tell me how you felt and what you were thinking. Only you can do that."

"But I told Otabek everything, he told you what we talked about, right?"

"Yuurrriiii" Viktor replied in a monotone. "How can I help you if you don't talk to me? How can you make any progress if you don't share with me? I understand this is our second session, and you don't trust me yet. But how can I gain your trust and prove to you that I mean you no harm." The last bit struck Yuuri, it was like what he said to Otabek yesterday. Did Otabek tell Viktor or did Viktor understand him in some way. Yuuri pulled up his knees and wrapped his arms around his legs, hiding his face behind them. Viktor could only see Yuuri's eyes peeking above his knees, but noticed they started to sparkle. He was thinking about something, Viktor hoped that he was getting through to him somehow.

The seconds ticked by and turned into minutes. All the while Viktor sat patiently waiting for Yuuri. Yuuri on the other hand was contemplating what Viktor had just told him. Can he trust him? This is part of his job, but that always doesn't mean anything. Yuuri took a deep breath, and decided to give it a try, to give Viktor a try. "I-I-I don't know where to start."

Viktor gave a small smile, relieved Yuuri started talking. "Let's start with what were you doing before the panic attack happened and go from there."

"O-okay. I-I was in my room lying on the bed, thinking."

In the back on Viktor's head he could picture Yuuri sprawled out on the bed waiting for him. He shook his head, to get rid of the image. He shifted in his seat and cleared his throat, "What were you thinking about? Anything in particular?"

"Skating." Yuuri gulped. He lied, unwilling to reveal that he was thinking about Viktor at the time. He continued before Viktor could interject, "…then a knock came at the door and someone told me it was time for dinner. So, I went out and when I started walking I had a panic attack."

"That is not all Yuuri, you're missing the big picture here. What were you thinking and feeling when it happened."

Yuuri paused again for a minute. "I-I-I didn't want to leave my room, it's is the only safe place for me here." Yuuri mumbled, resting his forehead on his knees, he was still gripping them close to his chest.

"No one can hurt you there."

Yuuri looked up quickly and stared at Viktor in surprise. He took the words from Yuuri and used them. Maybe this is someone he could trust. But at the same time Otabek could have just told him that, and he could mean a different kind of hurt, like physical pain. Yuuri's face faded from awe to sadness at this realization. Yuuri just nodded, adverting his eyes from Viktor to the coffee table that sat between them. Viktor noticed this and needed to change things around, he wanted that look on his face again.

"But you don't mean someone can physically hurt you." Viktor replied. Yuuri took his eyes off the coffee table and back to Viktor again. Unshed tears formed in his eyes, he shook his head 'no' and the tears fell. Viktor was starting to see the path he needed to take to help him. Being bold, Viktor stood from his chair and went around the coffee table and sat on it in front of Yuuri. He looked at him for a moment, his heart breaking at the sight of the man in front of him, he looked so vulnerable. He wiped a tear away that fell. Yuuri's gaze moved up and into Viktor's eyes. Without even thinking, Viktor's hand cupped his cheek. Both their hearts beating a mile a minute. Viktor could feel Yuuri's face heating up accompanying the small blush appearing on his cheeks.

Knock, knock, knock

Both men jumped out of their seats. Viktor sat back, realizing the dangerous position he was just in, he cleared his throat and went to answer the door.

Yuuri was still in shock, not knowing what happened or what he was feeling. His head started spinning with questions and emotions. His heart was beating so hard and fast, he was sure Viktor could hear it. He closed his eyes and took in a few shaky breaths to calm his racing heart.

"Looks like our time is up Yuuri. I have another appointment to get to now, seems I lost track of time. I will have to look at my schedule and book you for another session. I will give Otabek the date when I have one." Viktor quickly gathered up his things and left the room, before Yuuri could say a word.


Viktor was back in his office. Going over his notes for the day, when he came across Yuuri's notes, and a flash of the moment with Yuuri popped in his mind. He was trying not to think about it the rest of the day.

What was I thinking?!

Of course, I wasn't thinking. This is bad, I could lose my job over something like that. But how could I help it, he looked so lost and scared, it pains me to see him like that. I can't do things like that though, I could be fired and then I would never be able to help him.

What am I thinking?!

I never think or act like I did with other patients.

Get a grip Viktor!

Viktor's thoughts drifted to Yuuri several times, and each time shaking his head to clear them away and focused more on how to help him instead. He jotted down a few more notes, then packed up and left for the day with thoughts of Yuuri still in the back of his mind.


Yuuri peeked around the unit, it seemed that most people were either in a group session or out on off-unit privileges. It has been a few days since his last session with Viktor, and he hasn't been able to get that image out of his mind. He was still getting his panic attacks, but less frequently since the only time he leaves his room was for meals. Otabek has been on his case about doing some activities or go for a walk around the hospital with him, or anything. But Yuuri couldn't bring himself to do any of those things, not at that time. Finally building up the courage, Yuuri decided to get out of his room, and accomplish something, other than going stir crazy, Otabek was right he needed to do something.

Yuuri made it to the computer room without seeing anyone. He figured he would check his emails and maybe send one to his sister to update her. He opened the door, peering behind him, looking like he was trying to rob the place, and shut the door quietly. Yuuri turned around and stopped in his tracks. The other Yuri was at the other end of the room on a computer. He hasn't noticed Yuuri yet, and he thanked his lucky stars for that. Yuuri shifted his glasses, and looked closely at the other man, he looked like he was crying.

Yuuri fiddled with the door handle to leave, his hand slipped, and the door handle bounced. Yuri turned his head and looked at the man by the door. His eyes were red and swollen from crying.

He looks so vulnerable right now. Anytime I've seen him he looks so angry and distraught. I'm in for it now.

Yuri turned his head and went back to the computer. Deciding that it was too late to turn back, Yuuri took the first computer in the same row, not wanting to have his back turned to him. Yuuri checked his emails, knowing there wasn't much since he was on a hiatus from both school and skating. He was in the process of writing one to his sister, when Yuri made a whimpering sound.

What should I do?

Do I talk to him?

Do I leave him be?

This is so awkward!

Ultimately Yuuri decided, he hoped he wouldn't regret it. He turned to Yuri and squeaked out, "D-Do you want me to get someone for you?" Yuri looked over, and the other Yuuri braced himself to be yelled at. Instead Yuri just shook his head and turned away. "Is there something I can help you with?"

What are you doing! Idiot!

Yuuri heard a screeching of a chair and before he could register what was happening, he felt arms go around his arms and torso, a weight fell on his shoulder. He looked down at the man clutching onto him, his shoulders were slightly bouncing and Yuuri could feel a wetness forming on his shoulder. He moved his arms around the other man awkwardly, as the upper part of his arms were being held down. Yuuri didn't know what to say, so opted to quietly comfort him instead.

Yuri pulled away and wiped his tears on the sleeve of his sweater. "Sorry…" he quietly mumbled, looking down and away from Yuuri. He got up from his knees and sat in the chair beside him. "…I'm just worried about my grandfather, and I can't do anything to help him while I'm stuck in this fucking place. He just emailed me, he's getting sicker and can't afford his new medications that he has to be on. When I'm not fucking here I am supposed to be working and taking care of him, and I can't fucking do that!" Yuri banged his fist on the table, and the other Yuuri jumped.

"I-I…" Yuuri was interrupted by the door opening.

"Is everything okay here? I heard…" Otabek's sentence was cut off when Yuri ran up and hugged him around the neck, sobbing. Otabek's face held shock at first by the sudden hug, but then softened when an arm went around Yuri's waist and held him close, and the other petting the back of his head and hair. He was mumbling words of reassurances in his ear. Yuuri felt uneasy observing the intimate interaction, but then it dawned on him…

Wait… are they?... I thought relationships like that are not allowed. Psh, who am I to say when I got a crush on my therapist. What am I saying?

Yuuri's thoughts were interrupted by Otabek, "Uh Yuuri, I would appreciate it if you didn't tell people what you saw. Hugs and other physical contact between nurses and patients are prohibited." Yuuri was sure he saw more than just a hug, but went along with it anyways, not his story to tell, and frankly he didn't want to get involved either.

"I didn't see anything." Yuuri then made a zipping motion with his mouth and pretended to throw away the key. Otabek gave a small chuckle at the action.

"Uh thanks, Yuuri." He said, scratching the back of his head. Yuri still wouldn't look at Yuuri, instead was looking at the floor. He was standing close behind Otabek, gripping onto the man's hand. They both turned and left the computer room. Yuuri turned back to the computer and continued writing his email to his sister, thankful to be alone.


Yuuri was waiting at the servery window for his dinner tray later that evening. Yuri came up beside him and hip checked him hard, hard enough that he almost fell over.

"Shove over piggy!" Yuri yelled, he grabbed his tray and skulked off, leaving Yuuri stunned.

Looks like things are back to normal.

But as Yuri turned away, he noticed something different in his eyes when he looked at him, not so much anger, but something else, he just couldn't put a finger on it.