More thanks to A Markov for keeping me at least somewhat focused.
The characters in this story are the property of Disney. I make no monetary gain from their use (so don't sue me).
No Means No
(a Kim Possible fanfiction)
Ch. 3
"Hey, Dr. D?" Shego called out casually.
"Yes, Shego. What is it?" came the annoyed reply. "I'm very busy right now."
That last comment was largely unnecessary. For the past three weeks, Drakken had been busy pretty much constantly. Shego had actually been enjoying that fact, since it meant her blue-skinned boss had been too preoccupied to bother her much.
And so, aside from the occasional request for some technological odd or end, for three weeks Shego had done little more than lay in the sun, work out, do her nails, and work out some more. There were certainly worse ways to make a living.
At least, that was what Shego thought before being assaulted in the middle of the night by an insane clone of her arch rival.
"I thought we agreed last time, no more clones," she said, her tone conversational.
Just a sliver of acid crept into her voice as she said the word "clones." It was enough for the three henchpeople in the room – ostensibly there to assist the evil scientist, though they mostly just stood around looking dumb – to begin sidling toward the door. Doctor Drakken, engrossed as usual in his work, didn't seem to notice.
"Yes, I think I remember discussing that some time or another," Dr. Drakken said idly, his face still pressed into the eyepiece of his microscope. "Is there some point to this?" he asked when Shego didn't speak.
Shego cleared her throat in response. Sighing heavily, Drakken turned to face her. His jaw dropped when he saw his chief assistant and bodyguard standing before him, an unconscious Kim Possible reclining in her arms.
"Um, yes… About that…" he stammered, looking around furtively, as if searching for an exit.
Shego looked pointedly at the only open door to the lab, where the last henchperson was prudently making his exit. As Shego's green eyes settled back on Drakken, they plainly asked the unspoken question: Do you really think you can make it to that door?
Drakken already knew the answer to that, and so he wisely stood his ground. Thinking diplomacy the better of his options, he tried to explain himself.
"It's brilliant, Shego, just hear me out –"
"No. You know what, just stop," she cut in, shaking her head. "I've been listening to your idiotic schemes for years."
The icy calm with which Shego spoke was actually more terrifying than the screaming Drakken had expected from her. He seemed to shrink inside his blue skin as Shego continued.
"I have stood by and watched your stupid plans for world domination fail, time after time. I've been there through death ray schemes, giant plants, cybertronic toy robots… I even stole a crippled boy's wheelchair for you! But this?" she paused, looking to the figure in her arms. "This is just…"
"Whack?" Drakken guessed, his voice small.
He touched the tips of his fingers together apprehensively, watching as Shego dropped the limp clone rather unceremoniously into one of the lab's padded chairs. When Shego laughed, he relaxed a little.
He really doesn't get it, she thought.
"Whack?" she repeated aloud, smiling wickedly. "No, no… not at all."
Oblivious as always to the green woman's sarcasm, Drakken sighed in relief. That feeling was short-lived, though, fading as Shego slowly lifted her gaze from the clone's face to his. She studied him in silence for a moment, then walked slowly over to her boss, her hands clenched into fists.
Rather than back away, like she'd expected him to do, Drakken actually straightened himself and returned her gaze as she stepped in front of him. Shego almost felt a sliver of respect for him then.
Almost.
"No, this isn't 'whack,'" Shego elaborated. "This goes way beyond 'whack.' I'd say this goes more in the category of fucked up." She practically spat the last two words at him.
"Now Shego," he admonished, raising one finger. "What have I said about using that kind of –"
Shego's left hand shot out without warning. Her knuckles crunched against the side of his startled face, abruptly silencing the doctor's impromptu lecture on profanity. Drakken teetered on his feet for moment before he fell, senseless – first to his knees and then, sprawling, onto his back.
Shego was sitting, legs crossed, at the table in Kim's kitchen. In her hands was a steaming mug of coffee, from which she sipped gratefully. She'd been awake since the bizarre assault the night before and Kim, noticing her fatigue, had been gracious enough to put on a pot.
"And that's about the time I clocked Dr. D and headed out," Shego finished.
"I don't understand," Kim said again. "Why bring her here?"
Shego sighed, shrugging helplessly as she explained. "Look, I didn't know what else to do with it – her – whatever… I mean, aside from knocking her out every ten minutes. Which I'm sure isn't healthy, and I'll tell you, it sure loses its entertainment value after a while."
Kim frowned. "And you said she attacked you in your room, then you two started making out?"
Shego set down her mug pointedly, leaning forward across the table. Her green eyes flashed.
"Careful how you say that, Princess. I already told you, I'm not into girls. It's the pheromones Dr. D grew these things with. I looked over his notes before I left, and these clones are loaded with 'em. Now that I know what's going on, I can control my urges – don't look at me like that – now that I know they're not a natural response."
"The notes you burned," Kim recalled, one eyebrow raised.
Shego shrugged again. "I was mad, OK? Sue me."
Kim didn't press the point. So far, Shego had been fairly civil and, after all, she had done a pretty good thing by bringing the clone here to warn Kim. Not that Kim had any idea what to do next, but…
"I know I keep coming back to this," Kim said, turning her palms up. "But I just don't understand why you brought her here. I mean, if you hate clones so much, why not just spray her with soda and be done?"
Shego laughed. "You think I didn't try that?"
Kim gaped. "And she didn't melt?" Kim rubbed her face thoughtfully. "So… Drakken's made some improvements."
"Yeah, I don't know if I'd call it an improvement, really. She just woke up complaining about being sticky from the soda, and I gotta tell you, it was a real pain to get her to take a shower. Well, actually," she corrected herself. "That part was easy. Getting her to go in the shower by herself – that was hard."
Shego looked away again, her arms crossed. As if things weren't weird enough, Kim thought she saw a little pink in the woman's usually pale face.
The ensuing silence was interrupted by a familiar beeping tone. Grateful for the distraction, Kim pulled out her Kimmunicator. Smaller than the original, Kim had gone back to the handheld style. The wrist-Kimmunicator was nice, but it just lacked too much functionality. Like, for instance, the ability to scan Wade a hair follicle from the sleeping clone.
"Hey, Wade," Kim greeted when the boy genius's face appeared on the screen. "What did you find out?"
"Not much," Wade admitted. "What I can tell you is that the sample you sent me is an almost perfect match to your own DNA."
"Almost?" Kim echoed.
"Yeah, almost. It's definitely been modified. How much or in what way, I can't really say." Wade shrugged. "It's going to take some time to get a more in-depth analysis."
"Time you have," Shego interrupted. "I already broke his syntho-cloning machine. It'll take him forever to fix it or build another one without me there to steal parts for it."
"That's just it," Wade replied. "This isn't a syntho-clone, like the ones he made last time. They weren't even true clones, just physical copies using spliced DNA. This one… It's different. More stable, and only one – albeit modified – DNA sequence. We definitely can't just melt these with soda."
"Doy," Shego sneered. "I already found that out, Super Geek."
Wade rolled his eyes, directing his next comment at the villainess. "Then I guess it already occurred to you that if they're not syntho-clones, Drakken probably wasn't using the syntho-clone machine to make them?"
Shego opened her mouth to retort, then closed it again. Wondering why that hadn't occurred to her before, she looked out the window. Kim couldn't tell what Shego was muttering under her breath, but the word "nerdlinger" featured prominently.
"Sorry, Wade," Kim said, looking pointedly at Shego. "Somebody has been up all night and apparently needs a nap." Shego turned back, glaring at Kim.
"Wait," Kim said abruptly. Something Wade had said… "How did you get my DNA to compare to the clone's? I didn't – "
"Never mind," Wade cut her off quickly, grinning. Then, "I'll let you know what I find out. Bye!"
And with that, the screen went blank. Shaking her head, Kim wasn't sure whether to be outraged or relieved that her genius friend was… well, such a genius.
"OK," she said, turning her attention back to the conversation with the dangerous woman sitting across from her. "In Drakken's notes, you said he called them…" Kim paused.
"'Nympho-clones,'" Shego supplied when Kim couldn't seem to force the words out.
"Yeah, that," Kim agreed. "So, when she… I mean, her behavior. You think Drakken made her that way – that it's automatic. Like, she can't help it?"
As if on cue, the "she" Kim was referring to stirred. Kim again experienced the rather eerie sensation of staring into her own face as her clone awoke, looking around brightly.
"Oh, sorry," Kim's replica apologized, yawning. "I fall asleep again?"
"Yep," Shego answered her quickly.
"Did you miss me?" The clone, not missing a beat, looked from Kim to Shego and back expectantly.
"Help it? I don't think she even realizes she's doing it," Shego said in answer to Kim's question.
"Doing what?" the clone asked brightly, laying her head on the taller woman's shoulder. Her eyes flitted over Kim for several seconds.
I just checked me out… Kim thought, looking quickly at her hands. She hoped she wasn't blushing.
There was silence for several moments as Kim sat, brooding. The only sound was the clone's soft humming. Kim thought she recognized the tune, but couldn't quite catch enough of it to be sure.
"So, what's the plan?" Shego asked abruptly. She pressed a finger to the snickering clone's lips to forestall whatever it was the girl was about to say. Shego continued to stare ahead at Kim, waiting for her answer.
"Well," Kim said, thinking. "I guess in order to figure all this out, I have to go to the source…"
Kim looked up, meeting Shego's eyes with her own and trying hard to read the woman's pale face. Making up her mind, Kim sighed.
"Where can I find Doctor Drakken?"
When he finally awoke – after several hours – it took Dr. Drakken a few minutes to recall what had happened and why, exactly, he was lying on his back in the middle of the laboratory. Wincing with pain, he gingerly patted the swollen right side of his face.
"Okay," he said to no one in particular.
Sitting up with a grunt, he looked around. Just as he had expected, the floor of his lab was littered with debris. His equipment lay in mangled heaps, his meticulous notes reduced to ashes. It was a long while before the room quit spinning enough that he was able to pick himself up off the floor.
"That went well," he decided in all fairness, once he'd made certain all his limbs were still attached.
"But I suppose it's time to initiate Plan B."
