-CG-

"I must say, Christian, I am very glad you're finally taking the SFBT approach to heart," Flynn began, motioning me to have a seat.

"Desperate times, desperate measures," I countered.

"Whatever the impetus, I'm glad of it. So, what shall we talk about today?"

"Operation Get Ana Back."

His eyebrow shot skyward.

"So this project now has an official title?" he smirked.

"You can thank Elliot for that one."

His other eyebrow joined the dance.

Over the next half hour, I gave him a blow-by-blow description of the past several days, including the pre- and post-contact task lists Elliot and I had come up with.

"Finally, last night was movie night with El and Kate. Some ridiculous rom-com about a guy who falls in love with the female personality on his iPhone."

His snort, and bouncing shoulders said it all.

"Yeah, yeah, that's what I thought as well. El believes I need to be educated regarding the right way to treat a lady, but hell, what in the world can I take away from some crazy nonsense like that grade-B piece of crap movie?"

"I believe it's all about relationships, even one as far-fetched as in that movie. Most relationships are, for want of a better analogy, built on quicksand: they move and adjust and change. The secret is being able to adapt to the changes. I'm sure there had to be some conflicts presented in the plot, in order for the characters to resolve them. Did you see any parallels between the movie and real life?"

"That's just it. Hollywood has pushed the dial to extremes. Hardly anything applies because the entire plot is so outrageous."

"Alright, suppose you are put in charge of re-making the movie in a way that makes things more believable, more realistic. What's the first thing you would change?"

Now that threw me. Jeez, there were so many elements that were too far left-of-center, I don't know which one I'd pick.

"Oh, come now. It's just a simple question. What's the first thing that pops into your head?"

"I suppose the first thing I'd change is to make the female personality a living, breathing human."

"Ah, very good!"

In typical Flynn fashion, he blathered on, coaxing me along until I could finally see that even though the movie's plot was extreme, it still contained the difficulties and emotions and personalities found in everyday life. Huh, was this the reason behind Elliot's idea? Heck, now that I knew why I was supposed to watch the crappy movies, things made much more sense.

"Christian, where'd you go?" Flynn pulled me back from my train of thought.

"Just realized that maybe Elliot's smarter than I gave him credit for."

That statement had his eyebrows jumping again. I explained my insight.

"Well, I must say I am impressed. Of course, you've always sat at the higher end of the intelligence scale. I'm happy for you, Christian. Even should Operation Get Ana Back be less than a success, it's helping you to rebuild your relationship with your brother."

My anger automatically flared at his words.

"OGAB WILL be a success! I will not fail to get her back," I snarled.

"Christian, she's not a company that you can deviously plot and plan to acquire. She's a person with her own mind, her own wants, dreams and plans. You have to accept that she may not want you back, no matter what you do to entice her."

"But I need her back. Like I told El, she makes my world make sense. I thought I had everything in order before she came into my life. I had control. She's blown all of that out of the water, without even trying! And honestly, I feel like I'm addicted to her. I can't stop thinking about her. She even haunts my nightmares! Now that I know where she is, I just have to figure out how to make contact with her, show her that I'm willing to try being her boyfriend instead of her Dom."

"You know where she is?" he asked pointedly.

Dammit! I didn't mean for that to come out, and he pounced on it. Time to 'fess up, I suppose.

"Yes. I suspected she might have run to one of her parents, since she didn't have much in her bank account. It was easy to arrange covert security on them, and sure enough, Ana is staying with her mother in Georgia."

"How is it you know the balance in her bank account?"

"Background check. You know I have one run on every sub I consider taking on."

Flynn looks pained, his hand to his forehead massaging little circles. Frustration maybe?

"What?"

"Christian, why in the world would you have any need whatsoever to know the balance in her bank account?"

"My guys are thorough. What's the problem?"

"The problem is that such information is a gross and blatant invasion of privacy! How would you feel if someone did that to you?"

"I'm sure it's done all the time. In any successful business negotiations, you need to know your opponent, know as much as you can about them. Many times there are sensitive spots, things you can exploit to turn negotiations your way. It's part of the reason mergers and acquisitions is such a cutthroat business. Rather like piracy with paperwork."

"And what if someone digging into your background were to come across telltale signs of your lifestyle?"

"They never will. I've spent a lot of money over the years to keep such information buried so deep it will never be found. My team periodically runs a background check on me, just to see if anything might pop up."

"All well and good, Christian, but you've had play partners from the clubs you've attended, people at the clubs who've recognized you, and now fifteen submissives, plus Ms. Lincoln. That's an awful lot of 'sensitive spots', no?"

"That's exactly my reason for having people sign an NDA."

"Well, while an NDA might be quite a threat, it would seem not impossible to me that, should someone with knowledge of you be offered a significant amount of money, say enough to disappear under an assumed name afterward, they might risk spilling the beans."

"If so, they'd be cutting their own throat. They'd be ousted from the BDSM community for publicizing it; no Dom would ever touch them. Plus, if I were to find them, I could legally take whatever monies they got for the story as recompense for the damage to my reputation."

"Ah, but the damage would already be done, and likely be significant, affecting your company and your reputation. Anything you might get back in recompense would be a pittance in comparison to the damage. Suppose your parents, or Mia, were to find out like that?"

"Don't even go there."

"Fine. But my point is that the more people there are who are aware of you and your lifestyle, the greater the possibility that the proverbial cat will get out of the bag, and make a royal mess of things."

"Doesn't matter much though, does it, if I'm giving up the lifestyle."

The timer on his desk dinged, and I was happy to put an end to this session. Standing with him, we shook hands.

"Christian, I truly hope none of your past comes to light. I mention it only so that you might consider talking about it with Ana should you two manage to patch things up, as it would affect her too."

I nodded, finally understanding his reasoning for taking that direction. More food for my thoughts.


Another Sunday dinner rolls around, and I am obligated to attend. Taylor pulls up the long drive and the car is barely stopped when I'm being assaulted in a hug from Mia.

"Christian! I'm so happy to see you again!"

"Hello, Mia. What's the big deal? I picked you up at the airport not that long ago."

"Seriously? Yes, you did pick me up, and yes, I thank you very much for sending the GEH jet for me so I could bring all of my stuff home. But other than a quick chat on the way home from Sea-Tac, we haven't talked at all."

"Mia, you know my company is running my life right now. I've barely had time to turn around. Besides, working like a maniac is what allows me to have a jet to fetch you with." I teased her.

That got me a pout, then her sly smile.

"Well, obviously you've been busy with something else. Mom told me about dropping by your place and being introduced to your girlfriend."

I tried hard to hide the cringe from the pain. Girlfriend. I wish it were that simple. Mia rambled on, oblivious to my reaction.

"So, when do we get to meet her, big brother?"

"I can't answer that right now. C'mon, let's go in."

I knew that wasn't going to shut down the conversation for long, but I'd take what I could get. No way was I going to let them know what was going on between me and Ana.

"Hey Chrissy!"

"Lelliot. Hi Kate." I tried to ignore her cool stare.

"Hello Christian."

Without words, I tried to convey my question to my big brother. He understood, slightly shook his head – no word from Ana yet. Perhaps later I could get him alone for a few minutes, tell him what I found out. Mom called us to sit down and eat.


-AS-

After kissing, and making out, my body craved his. Completely. His teasing touch inside my jeans had me drenched. His wicked grin revealed how much he was enjoying this, twisting me up to the point where my brain was about to shut off all coherent thought and let the animal side take over, and damn the consequences.

With one last braincell urgently screaming at me before it too succumbed, I managed to scuttle away from him. He blinked his surprise, regarding me as I quickly got myself back together at the other end of the sofa. I stood up, willing my jelly knees to hold fast and support me.

"If you decide you're willing to try a normal relationship, let me know. But I will not be your submissive. I will not be number sixteen, or number anything! I'm better than that. And I will never set foot in your overused sex room again!"

I quickly turned, scooped up my purse and hurried to the door, worried he'd try to stop me, worried that the tears would let loose before I could make it to the elevator. My heart was slowly and viciously tearing apart right down the middle. Maybe I've just walked away from the most perfect man I've ever come across, but our relationship would be doomed from the get-go if I tried to force myself into being what he wants. I would hate being controlled, no matter how satisfying the sex. I will not ever be punished or beaten or hurt in any way ever again. I utterly refuse to let someone else do my thinking for me. Far better to stop this right now before I get in any deeper.

Picturing Ray in my mind, willing him to give me strength to do the right thing for myself, I rush to the elevator. I can't help the panting – I'm breathless from equal measures of lust and fear. Goosebumps crawl over my skin as the soft 'ding' sounds and the doors open. I dash inside, hit the button for the lobby and flatten myself against the back wall. Our eyes meet, mine looking determined, and his looking completely lost.

"It's all I know," he whispered plaintively.

"And I can't do that," I whispered back hoarsely, the suppressed tears already affecting my voice.

The doors closed, and I slumped, relieved and shattered at the same time.

My alarm blasted, startling me out of the dream. Or was it a nightmare? I reached over, banged the thing to shut it off, panting hard and trying to calm down. What the hell is the matter with me? This is what, the third time this week I've had a dream about Christian? I don't have time for this, need to focus, get ready for work.

I headed for the shower, still remembering bits from the dream, especially the fire I'd felt at his touch. His kisses, soft, arousing, then turning demanding and plundering. Gah! My body still lusted after him, and in the hot spray, I applied soap to my hand as it drifted south. I wantonly pictured him again as I rubbed slick circles over my already aroused clit. His expert touches, the feel of his teeth nibbling my neck, his hot breath on my ear. I love you, Ana. I need you. Feel me, feel how much I love you. Come for me. The quaking started deep inside, stealing my breath away, tingly pleasure washing over me for long moments with the hot water.

On a sigh, I slowly got my breath back, smirked to see my fingers coated in sudsy loopy goo. God, if only he could have been more boyfriend and less Dom. We could have been so good together. NO! No, no, NO! Dammit, no more thinking about him. I promised myself I wouldn't and his dark magic somehow keeps sucking me in. How the hell am I supposed to get over him?

Finishing what I was there for, I quickly toweled off and focused on getting ready for work.

It's been 2 weeks now of working at Arc, and I'm still loving it, although I now know exactly what Jax and Kelly were talking about regarding "crunch mode". Arc has successfully taken over an aging shopping mall in Austin, Texas, so we are gathering for a meeting, along with the sales team, to go over the known particulars at this point: location, square footage, number of available stores, current number of retail occupants and what they focus on. It's a dazzling display of photos, probably taken by cellphone, that pop up on the big screen.

The place looks tired, customers few and far between. A large fountain in the middle is dry, looks like it hasn't been operational for a few years. Utilities are sound, though some are in need of upgrade. Current retail outfits will be encouraged to remain open during rehab, incented by getting a break on their lease payments. The parking lot is in bad shape and will require an overhaul, which is slated to be done in sections so as to immediately improve foot traffic nearest the main doors.

Another presenter takes up the narrative, giving us background on the nearby communities. One major insurance carrier, and two tech outfits, have established large offices within 4 miles of the mall, and other small businesses are opening up in the surrounding area. The state has allocated development funds and is helping to boost the local community, enhancing it for work and play, adding a big boost to the prospects for a refurbished shopping mall. It makes me feel proud to have a hand in helping get this area back on its feet.

After the presentation, we disband, only for the creatives team to be called into the director's office. I take a seat near the back, uncertain as to what's going on. John Collins, the fifty-something distinguished looking director and person in charge, comes right to the point.

"Thank you for joining me. You've all seen the newest project we're undertaking, and it's going to be one of our bigger ones. Estimates for refurb sit currently at between 10 and 22 million."

My eyes go wide! That's an awful lot of money to sink into a building in the hope that they'll get enough leases to make it worthwhile.

"However, those estimates are only focused on bringing the structure back to its original condition. It is my belief, and that of senior management here at Arc, that we need to do something different in order to make shopping malls, especially this one, the draw that they used to be 20 years ago.

"Our culture is different now. Kids prefer cell phones and video games to hanging around a mall. What we need is to capitalize on what people like to do, and be able to provide that. For instance, did anyone notice the fountain during the presentation?"

We all nod, wondering where he's going with this.

"Hasn't been used in over 8 years. People don't care about a simple fountain anymore. They care about water features. For instance, suppose we replaced that aged fountain with a 2 story stone piece of art, that supports a waterfall? Perhaps something with an opening in the center where people can walk through, without actually getting wet."

I am stunned! Wow, what an idea.

"Now, let's enhance that idea. Surround the waterfall with tables for a café. Add some greenery, maybe other sculpture. At some of the tables, we provide a charging station for your cellphone or laptop. Maybe offer free wi-fi. Now, do you think that might draw in some people?"

"I think I see where you're going," Jax piped up. "You want the design of the refurb to be relevant to current tastes and interests. Something appealing to draw in people, who are naturally also going to shop as long as they're there."

"Precisely. And that is why, for this project, I'm looking for people from this team to go on-site, get a feel for the space, check out the local eating establishments, talk to people to see what they like, and then bring those ideas back so that we can redesign that mall, make it a showpiece for the surrounding neighborhoods as well as establish a new standard for Arc. This mall is going to be our new flagship project. We want fresh thinking and new design, we want to incorporate ideas to make it appealing and relevant for all age groups. We need to show that malls can again succeed in contemporary society."

"Huge undertaking, Mr. Collins," Jax said.

"Exactly so, Ms. Engleson. We need ideas, and that's where the creatives team comes in."

"How long will this trip be?" Kelly questioned.

"At least a week, more if necessary. I've got two of our advance team on-site already, and you'll coordinate with them. They've been scoping out the local watering holes, eateries, and businesses and will be able to coordinate efforts."

"So who gets to go?" Kelly asked again.

"All of you." Collins walked over to his desk, picked up a piece of paper. "I checked the requested vacation time for the department, and it looks like next week or the week after, is viable for travel. Any comments?"

We just looked at each other, dumbfounded.

"The week after would be better for me. I need to arrange for a sitter."

"I'd need to set up pet care."

"I can't do the week after, I've got family coming in from out of state."

"All right," Collins made a 'settle down' motion with his hands, "I won't ask for a commitment right now, but I expect you all to get together when you walk out of here and discuss it. I want a commitment by end of day as reservations will need to be made. Whichever week is chosen, I prefer the greater number of you to be able to go."

We nodded, got up and shuffled out.

And that's how, two days later, I and the team find ourselves jetting to Austin, Texas.


-CG-

Taylor knocked, them poked his head in the door.

"Mr. Grey, your brother has arrived."

"Thanks, Taylor. I'll be there in a minute."

I saved my latest revisions to the contract I was working on, and closed my laptop. Standing, and stretching, I'm trying to quell the uneasiness I feel in my gut. Based on Flynn's recommendation, I'm going to tell my brother that I know where Ana's been hiding. Walking out of my study, I see him already sitting on the large curving sofa in the great room, nursing a beer.

"Hi El."

"Hey Chris. Working late again?" he teased.

"Always. GEH won't run by itself." I countered, heading to the kitchen and getting a beer for myself.

I settled an arm's length from him, sat back and took a welcome sip.

"So, I suppose you'll tell me why I'm here?" El began.

I saw the speculation in his eyes as I leaned forward, rolling the chill bottle between my palms. Here it goes.

"I found Ana."

Elliot blinked, his face blank.

"Found her where? Or maybe more importantly, how?"

Damn, he knows me too well.

"She's in Savannah, Georgia, staying with her mother and husband number 4."

"And you found this out how?"

"A little deduction and BOTG."

I smiled, watching Elliot's face scrunch up at the unfamiliar term.

"What the hell is BOTG?"

"Boots on the ground. Military term. I sent a covert security guy to each of her parent's homes to keep an eye out, see if she was there."

"And?"

"And what?"

"So you know where she is. Have you made contact yet? Are you going to? How are you going to? What's the plan? And just to throw in my personal opinion, you do realize that's called stalking, right?"

"Yeah, I know. I can't help it, El. I need her – more than I think I've ever needed or wanted anything in my life."

"So what did your guy find out?"

"She's putting down roots. Living with mom, found herself a job, making friends maybe to replace Kate and José. The latest report I got said she also attended some DateSafe seminar, something about 'Recognizing Controlling Behavior'."

Elliot did this half-snort, half-laugh that had him holding his nose to keep the beer from reappearing. What a sight! I laughed.

"Damn, bro," Elliot coughed and laughed, "That IS funny."

"Yeah, in a sad kind of way. It just underlines the fact that she's done with my being a Dom. I just hope to hell she's not completely over me. Anyway, she went to it with one of her co-workers, who, it turns out, is the daughter of the chief of police."

"Hm, nothing wrong with having friends in high places, or even connections to them."

"Yeah, but it squashes the idea I had of grabbing her and putting her ass on a plane headed back here."

"Adding kidnapping to the stalking charges? Then what, unlawful imprisonment? Because you know damned well she won't stay unless she decides she wants to."

"It was just an idea," I lamely offered.

"And a bad one. Stop thinking like a Dom! You can't order her, you can't control her."

"So what do I do?" This was getting so frustrating!

"Entice her, seduce her, make her want to come back to you. Forcing her to do anything won't work."

"Okay, smartass, and just how do I do that? I tried enticing her and seducing her before, tried to show her the benefits in signing up as my sub, hell, I even bought her a car! And we both know how well that worked out."

"What about showing her what's in it for her to be your girlfriend?"

"I know what's in it for me, not sure what's in it for her. Besides, the bigger problem is how do I make contact with her in order to make her the offer? Flynn suggested I talk to you about it."

"Good thing, otherwise you'd just show up at her doorstep and scare the living hell out of her all over again."

"And that's exactly what I don't want to happen, which is why I told Taylor to not let me get on the jet without talking to you first."

"I don't think it's a good idea for you to go see her at all, at this point. She's terrified of you, Christian. If you show up, it'll just push her to get a restraining order or something."

My hands were buried in my hair, beyond frustrated. I needed to see her, talk to her, tell her that I'm willing to change for her, that I want to try again, try to have a regular vanilla relationship. But how can I if it'll only scare her more?

"So what do I do? It's been weeks since she took off. Has Kate heard anything?"

"Not a peep."

I drained my beer, waved the bottle at him with a raised eyebrow, asking if he wanted another. At his nod, I headed back to the kitchen and grabbed two more Budvars, trying to figure out some solution to the conundrum of contacting Ana.

After a sip from the fresh bottle, Elliot threw out some ideas.

"Chris, if you absolutely can't wait for her to contact Kate – which I happen to believe is the best option – then whoever makes contact with her has to be someone she's not afraid of. Although I would suggest it be Kate, I don't think she's our best shot for a few reasons. One, she doesn't know you found Ana and won't appreciate you stalking her. Two, she doesn't know why Ana ran and would give her the third degree seeking answers, which might reveal your secrets. Three, it would make Kate look like part of your conspiracy to get her back.

"I really think," El took another swallow, "it needs to be me making first contact. She'll be wary because I'm your brother, but I can play it so she'll trust me. I'll tell her I know about your lifestyle, tell her that you said it was okay to disregard the NDA and talk to me. I can tell her that you're willing to drop the Dom thing and try being a boyfriend, see how she reacts to that. We need to know what she's thinking, what she's planning, what she wants, before we do anything to try to convince her to come back to Seattle."

"Do you really think that would work?" I couldn't disguise the hope in my voice, even if I'd wanted to.

"Not sure we have a whole lot of other options. Any kind of contact with her is going to reveal that you've found her. I mean, you could write her a letter, tell her what needs to be said and ask her for a second chance. Trouble is, if she sees the letter is from you, it might spook her into just throwing it away. And I could just about guarantee a phone call is only going to result in a hang-up."

"What if I sent her flowers?"

"Again, she'd know you found her and she might just take off again for parts unknown. I think it needs to be some kind of personal, fairly non-threatening, contact with someone who knows your secrets and can talk with her about them, convince her that you're willing to change if she's willing to give you a second chance."

"And you'd be willing to do this? Drop everything and jump on a flight to Savannah to talk to her?"

"With a few considerations, yeah."

Uh oh, here it comes. Elliot's learned that he can bargain for favors. But dammit, I'm desperate and he knows it.

"What considerations?"

"To and from on your private jet, of course. First class accommodations because I'll be damned if I'm doing coast-to-coast and right back again, plus it might take me a few days to catch up with her."

"Fine."

"Also, I'll need whatever information your covert spy found out about her. I'll need to figure out where and when to approach her."

"Okay."

"I'll also need to do some research. Since I'll need some valid reason for being there, I figure there'll be some building or other in the downtown area for sale and in need of refurb. That way I can tell Ana that she was kind of a secondary reason for me being there, less chance of spooking her. Might cost you for a building, bro, if I find something worthwhile."

"That doesn't bother me too much. You've done well with the other properties I've purchased."

"And there's also the teensy little matter of that Aston Martin I've had my eye on since before last Christmas."

"The Vanquish?"

"Vanquish Volante. I want the convertible."

I shot a hand through my hair. It wasn't that I couldn't afford it. Rather Elliot's ceaseless whining and hinting about it being the perfect Christmas gift for him got on my nerves. Besides, if I had gotten it for him, then Mia would have felt slighted. Nothing like sibling blackmail.

"Fine! We have a deal," I spit through gritted teeth. I hated being manipulated.

Later on that evening, long after Elliot left, I'm sat in front of the piano trying to decide which classical piece reflects my mood as I try to tire my mind enough to hopefully evade the nightmares. I began the fingering for Pathetíque but stopped after a few bars, surprised that for once I wanted to play something hopeful. Because I felt hopeful. The utter amazement at that thought froze me.

Hope? Me? Suddenly my mind was pounded from different directions, thoughts all in conflict. You're a Dom! You don't "hope", you order, decree, demand. You're giving up the role of Dom so that you can win back Ana. You're a billionaire businessman, your word is law. And your words devolved into threats that made her run away. You don't show feelings. It's weak, it's beneath you. I've made you strong, Christian Grey.

I shivered, now recognizing that voice as Elena's brainwashing. I banged the keys, stood up, headed for the scotch. Hopefully a tumbler-full would quell the argumentative voices in my head.

Nearly an hour later, holding a second glass, I stood at the wall of windows watching the lights of Seattle shimmering in the wee hours, my forehead resting against the cool glass. For the first time in a long time, I felt genuine fear. Not the exhilaration of pursuing a complicated deal, knowing failure could cost GEH dearly. Not the wild anticipation of having a new sub under contract for the first time. Real fear. Somehow Anastasia had become a potent catalyst for me, a chain reaction racing through the events of my life and changing them, or perhaps changing me so that I saw things with different eyes.

There was more than just the fear that my life since Elena had been built on quicksand, my decisions a reflection of her control. The greater fear was that, without Ana to help me make sense of my new viewpoints, it left everything in disarray. What magic did she possess to be the key to my world making sense? I could barely put this in words for myself; there'd be no way to explain to Elliot, or anyone, how important to me Ana had become. How I, the man beholden to no one for all that I've built, am willing to walk away from it in order to have her, because I need her that much.

I am equal parts convinced and horrified: certain that Ana is what I need, horrified at the prospect of walking away from the known, my entire world, and stepping into an abyss on nothing more than faith in a feeling. Logic tells me I've lost my mind, but something inside of me is overwhelmingly certain, pushing me to take this new path. Another gulp of the rich liquid focuses my thoughts for a moment, and I realize that it is my heart that is leading me. Never have I made an emotional decision before in my life, and yet, I can feel the innate rightness of this one.

Her voice inside my head again cackles in demonic glee: From Dom to submissive again. Mousey little girl is leading you around by your dick, and you're just gagging for more! I suppose in part it's true. There is a powerful force between us that I cannot resist, but just as she will not be my sub, I cannot be hers either. There has to be some middle ground, somewhere between these black and white extremes, that can work for both of us.

I gulp the last of the fiery liquid, and head off to bed. Just as sleep begins to overtake me, I realize that getting Ana back is going to be the single most crucial negotiation of my life. I've got to find that middle ground.