So it turns out two wrongs do make a right, meaning chapters three and four were being a pain in the ass so I squashed them together et voila, problem solved. Neither scene is as long as I wanted but at least now I can move the story forward ;)
FATE
Chapter III
The memorial had been sad. Not that Laura had expected it to be a joyful affair but she hadn't realised how hard it would hit her, sharing in the grief and prayers of Galactica's small civilian population. She'd spent more than three hours with them after the ceremony, surprising herself with her reassurances that Admiral Adama would keep them safe. They had already lost so much, she couldn't rob them of the little hope they had planted on this rock, not when it served no purpose.
Alone in her quarters afterwards, she unwrapped her idols for the first time since coming aboard Galactica, lit a dozen candles and seated herself on the floor with a scroll and pen. The civvies had given her the idea, each writing down as many names as they could remember and then burning the scroll. And still there were so many more who were too faint a memory to recall a name to mind.
Laura began with Richard, the man who should have been making the decisions instead of her after the attacks, and the other forty-odd people who could have ended up being president. The priestess Elosha, killed by a mine on Kobol. What did her sacrifice mean now? Laura had found the map to Earth but what good was that if she couldn't convince people to follow it? And Billy, sweet Billy. His death had been pointless right from the start…
She took his picture down from her desk. Gods, he had been so young. Losing him had been like having her heart torn out, which was, unfortunately, not a new sensation for Laura. Just when she thought she was done with that kind of pain, that she had guarded against loving anyone deeply enough to get hurt, that sweet, courageous, good man had slipped under her guard. She hadn't realised how close to her heart he truly was until he was snatched away.
She remembered the first time she had met him, interviewing him for the position he had filled for the last three years of his life. He was polite, respectful, accomplished, efficient, like all the other applicants, but what she'd really admired was that, contrary to his competitors, he didn't seem to be telling her what he thought she wanted to hear. He'd voiced opinions that he clearly wasn't sure would be well received rather than waiting to see what her position was before deciding on his own. She'd liked his artless conviction, and she just knew that it was going to carry him high into the political ranks, perhaps all the way to the top.
After that he'd been her right hand man. She'd encouraged him to have an opinion on everything and found, as she'd suspected, that he was a thoughtful, observant, insightful young man. She became used to her faithful shadow, and after the Attacks she truly didn't know what she would have done without him. Aside from continuing to do his job incredibly well having just lost his entire family, his mere presence bolstered her self-possession, kept reminding her that she had to be the one to find a way to keep everyone alive, including him. Especially him.
How could she have known that she was sending him to his death that night on Cloud Nine? She'd thought she'd been doing him a favour: he hadn't said it directly but she could tell by the crushed look on his face that his proposal to Petty Officer Dualla had gone badly, or at least, not the way he wanted. So she'd connived to have him get away from Colonial One for the evening, sent him in person to handle a trivial problem that could have been dealt with over the phone. If she'd only left him to pine alone in his own quarters, he'd still be here, not drifting out in the cold vacuum of space with a terrorist bullet through his heart…
She started at the sound of someone at her door. 'It's open,' she called, quickly wiping her eyes. Bill said he might pop by after the memorials.
'Am I interrupting?' he asked, hesitating upon seeing the idols and her position on the floor.
'No, no, come in,' she waved, pulling herself onto the sofa and indicating for him to do the same. 'How was your morning?' she asked, adding, 'No pun intended,' when he almost laughed. Almost.
'I'm glad it's over,' he said, relaxing back into the cushions and casting her a curious look, perhaps noticing her wet lashes. 'How'd yours go? I tried calling for you earlier.'
'Turns out I'm more popular than I thought.' The look on Bill's face reeked of 'I told you so's but she narrowed her eyes, daring him to say it out loud. He shook his head a little, looking away without comment.
His gaze fell instead on the photo of Billy she'd left on the floor and they both grew pensive, the sadness of the day washing over them anew. 'You miss him,' he said at last.
Her sigh was heavy with longing. 'All the time,' she admitted quietly.
Bill covered her hand with his own in empathy and she thought he must be thinking of his son, Zak. She laced her pale, smooth fingers through his dark gnarled ones and rested her temple against his shoulder. She didn't need to ask if it got easier, she already knew it wouldn't. This was the best comfort they could hope for; a hand to hold, a shoulder to cry on, somebody who understood.
For once Laura allowed the silent tears to fall; for the Colonies, for Billy… and for Bill.
Laura was not looking forward to dinner. She would have wriggled out of it if not for Bill's practically begging her not to leave him at the mercy of Ellen Tigh, especially after their last meeting; she still hadn't gotten them back for harbouring Saul and it was too much to hope for that she'd forgotten about it. She was the first to arrive, dressed in black to fit the occasion. Ellen, of course, observed no such drab dress-code and arrived in a lilac and purple patterned dress that showed off her curves to best advantage alongside Saul who, like the admiral, was wearing his dress uniform. Last to arrive were Doctor Cottle and Lee, the latter taking one look at Ellen and heading straight for the drinks cart: it seemed Laura and Bill were not the only ones anticipating a long night.
The aperitifs portion of the evening did not last long as Private Boyd arrived twenty minutes later, casting a nervous glance towards Laura as he manoeuvred the dinner cart over the threshold. Ellen, of course, missed nothing, least of all the opportunity to embarrass half the room's occupants with her observations. Bill barely concealed his sigh of dismay as she locked onto Boyd's half glances in Laura's direction as he unloaded the cart, though Laura was blissfully oblivious as she chatted with Cottle.
'Laura, do introduce us to your young admirer,' she said with a predatory grin. Boyd went from pink to crimson in three seconds flat as all eyes suddenly landed squarely on him. Laura was horrified to feel her own cheeks warming a little on his behalf as she realised it was true; how the hell had she missed that? Suddenly it all seemed blindingly obvious, no wonder Bill had been laughing his arse off all these weeks. She would have laughed, too, if she wasn't afraid of hurting the poor kid's feelings, sympathies which Lee, Saul and Cottle did not seem to share as they did little to conceal their amusement. 'Lucky girl,' said Ellen lasciviously.
Laura widened her eyes at Bill, hoping to convey that she held him entirely responsible for putting them both in this position. Why couldn't he have just reassigned Boyd when she frakking asked him to?
'Get out of here, kid,' he muttered out of the corner of his mouth, an order the private obeyed before it was fully given. Laura only wished she could vanish too.
'Well that was cruel,' said Laura once the hatch had closed behind him, casting a cold eye on Ellen.
'Oh don't be so uptight, I was just having a little fun,' said Ellen, looking completely unconcerned as she poured herself another drink, her third since arriving.
'Yes, I think we all know what your idea of a little fun is,' she said waspishly, her meaning all too clear.
The men in the room held their collective breath.
'This coming from a woman who likes to hide out in bathrooms with other people's husbands,' Ellen was quick to air.
Lee and Cottle's eyebrows shot up whilst Bill and Saul's shoulders slumped. This could get ugly.
Laura snorted. 'I can assure you I have absolutely zero interest in your husband,' she said, signing a zero with her hand.
Saul was too smart to be offended by this. Ellen on the other hand. 'Don't you look down your nose at us-'
'Ellen,' said Saul, recognising that tone and finally realising his intervention might be prudent.
'No! She thinks she's so much better than us just because she was president for five minutes. Well if you're so great, how come you were voted out the first chance people got? Huh? Answer that!'
The effort of not answering that made Laura squeeze her glass so hard it shattered.
'I'm supposed to have the night off, young lady,' said Cottle, still dangerously close to looking amused as Ellen sauntered off thinking she had won. He glanced at her hand. 'You alright?'
'Fine,' said Laura through gritted teeth, excusing herself to the bathroom to wash the glass off her hands.
Bill was quick to secure the seat next to his at the dinner table for Laura. 'Coward,' she muttered under her breath as he pulled her chair out for her, knowing it was only to avoid getting stuck next to Mrs Tigh. Funny how the little social conventions still existed, people automatically seating themselves to produce the best male to female ratio so that it was Lee, seated opposite Bill and looking like a trapped man, who drew the short straw. Cottle took a seat beside Laura, though he wasn't entirely safe either given what Laura suspected of Ellen's under-the-table antics.
Once they were all settled, Bill raised his glass, 'To the Twelve Colonies.'
'The Twelve Colonies,' his guests echoed, keeping their silence for a few moments after.
Dinner was a fairly civilised affair, for a while at least. 'So, how's the Pegasus treating you?' Laura asked Lee. It had been quite a while since last she'd seen him, not since the election in fact.
'Not bad,' he answered with a half-shrug. 'I'll be glad when we offload the civilians we took in after the Cloud Nine explosion.'
'Giving you trouble?' she asked with a knowing smile. These military types, they were so used to commanding men and women who were trained and bound to absolute obedience, but civilians weren't going to automatically do as they were told, they required convincing and a whole lot of patience. Bill had learned that the hard way when he declared martial law.
'It's the kids, they get everywhere, especially where they're not supposed to be. We had half the crew looking for a little girl last week. Turned out she'd been playing hide and seek and fell asleep in a trunk in the pilots rec room. She's lucky she didn't suffocate,' he said, looking slightly harassed.
'Only a few more weeks and they'll be out of your hair,' she reassured him. 'From what I hear, Canvas County's almost up and running.'
'Canvas County?' Bill queried.
'That's what they're calling the temporary site,' Laura elucidated.
'Speaking of which,' said Ellen, making Saul grumble and reach for his glass. 'What does a girl have to do to get off this ship?'
Bill's foot hit Laura's under the table. How had he known she was about to suggest an airlock?
'You're free to leave any time,' he said to Ellen, and probably sincerely meant it.
'And Saul?'
The admiral shook his head, 'I need my men here. If the cylons come back-'
'Oh the cylons aren't going to find us here,' she pooh-poohed. 'And besides, I'm sure you can spare one man.'
'It wouldn't be fair to the others.' Anyone else would have seen that it was futile trying to argue with him, he had no intention of debating the point, but Ellen was, well, Ellen.
'What's not fair is keeping them locked up here while everyone else gets to start a new life down on New Caprica.'
'Ellen,' said Saul reproachfully.
'What? I'm sure Laura's going to settle,' Laura almost spilled her drink but Ellen didn't wait for confirmation. 'I don't see why we shouldn't get the same chance.'
'Because someone has to guard the planet,' said Saul, obviously not for the first time.
'But the nebula-'
'Isn't going to stop a cylon fleet if they stick their heads in here. And besides,' Saul added repressively, 'I wouldn't go anyway.'
This couldn't have been news to Ellen but she looked put out nonetheless, perhaps hoping that if she could convince Bill, she could convince her husband.
Laura was glad when the conversation moved onto a safer topic, and gladder still when dinner was through and the Tighes were preparing to leave; Ellen had a way of making two hours feel more like two days.
AN: yeah, so it turns out I find Ellen incredibly difficult to write. I wanted a much longer dinner scene but I just can't get a handle on her. Me thinks I shall be leaving her out of future writings. Thanks for reading, hope everyone has a great xmas and new year! See you all in 2014 x
