Hello , everyone ! Here the third chapter of '' Game Over '' hope you will like it. I know the story might took some time to really start and i am sorry if it must seen boring because of it but i am trying my best to make the characters live if you know what i mean:) Please let some reviews if you read my story to tell me what's good or if it sucks;) I need this to progress and it's motivating me a lot to write it more often ! Okay , i'll stop rumbling and let you enjoy the chapter. See u at the next one;)
APRIL
'' Pray.''
I know things are meant to happen for a reason. Since i am little it's the sentence my mom repeated me everytime i felt like God was giving up on me. She told me he had plan for all of us even the one who doesn't believe in him , she told me he gives a chance to everyone even if they make mistakes and he never stops to believe in us until our last breath. Then we couldn't do anything but wait for him to judge us. I remember one time when i came back home crying because one my sister said to me bad things like they were used too. My mom took me by the arm and made me sit on her bed , she stroked my head kissing my forehead then she took my hand and said to me :'' Pray. Pray everytime you're happy ,everytime you're sad. Pray when it's night or when the sun is here. Pray , because that's the only thing who'll help to ease your heart.''
She was right. God was my safeplace. Everytime i was angry and felt like i was loosing my self-control i talk to him. He was my confident , i could talk to him about everything without being affraid because i knew someway in his eyes i meant something : no matter my mistakes , he will always be here. It was something you couldn't explain you had to feel it. Even when it felt like he is not here...is here. I guess it reassured me. But sometimes it was frustrating. It was frustrating to ignore why. I always needed to know why but like my mom said ''things happened for a reason.'' right ? So...
So...I guest the fact i punched a guy out of impulse must have happened for a reason right ? I don't remember the last time i lost my temper. I was known in my family for being the one with the more self control but today i lost it. Completely. Though the day started without big expectations. I welcomed my sister who came back from her night shift , she was a nurse at an hospital in the city but she avoided telling me i had to made diner for her husband because the weirdo couldn't do a shit. She was only braging about him but he seemed like a total ass. I didn't like the way he was looking at me , or the way he was talking to me. Last night he said that if i could cook like that he was sure i was good to do other things... I was naive but i knew when a man made pervertic suggestions. It was sure one. I didn't reply and prefered to locked into the guest room. I didn't sleep of course. So i took advantage of my insomnia to unwrap my things and make this sinister guest room more me.
After i've done this , i went to the kitchen made some breakfast to the perfect married couple before returned locking myself in the room. I found something at the bottom of my suitcase. It was my little pink notebook. I smiled a little feeling nostalgic. I had him from my dad when i wrote him a letter for his birthday , it was the year i learnt to read and write. I was so excited i wrote into everything i could even the wall of the house. Wich explained the idea of my dad to bought me a notebook. I laugh a little before opening it. I stopped write inside it last year. I didn't support my sisters told me i was child for still writing my thoughts and feeling inside it. I don't really support people judging me :
'' You are worth it. '' i read still smiled on my face. I remember when i wrote that comment. It was the day of my ten birthday when Joshua refused to kiss me saying he didn't like my ass face , i cried for a day all long before wrote this after one of my sister comforted me. I turned a page then an other until i noticed it was almost an hour since i started it. I swear before getting out of my room. Kimmie was sat eating my breakfast. I made a fruits salad it was the best for summer time. I smiled at her then sat next to her :
'' He is gone. Went to work. '' she says like she was reading my mind.
I shrug '' Oh. Okay...'' i reply.
I wasn't going to tell her that her husband was hitting on me. First it was maybe all maybe in my mind and i didn't want to hurt her. Plus , i was affraid she doesn't believe me it would hurt me a lot and i didn't really want to be hurt. I wanted to be happy and i was. I couldn't wait to go inside an actual school with kids even if i wasn't the best to socialize. People didn't really liked me on the contryside so i didn't expected people to liked me here... :
'' Don't tell mom and our sisters that he doesn't know how to cook please ?'' she begs.
I never seen my eldest sister acting like that. She always was the strongest among us. She was the one who teached me to never cry for a boy because they are dumb and don't deserve my tears and here she was begging for a man for some weird guy who didn't deserved her :
'' I won't.'' i say.
I am not sure i should ask questions. She seemed embarass if she wanted to talk to me about it she would i didn't have the right to push her. She sighs :
'' How was your date with Matthew ? Did you call him ? '' she asks trying to change the subject.
I totally forgot about the vomit guy. I sigh out of frustration :
'' First , promise you won't tell anything to mom please ?'' i beg her.
She smirks '' Now i am curious , Duckie. '' she says '' Okay. I won't. '' she gives in after i gave her a serious look.
'' He...kind..Well...'' i giggle nervous '' He asked me to marry him.'' i blurt.
She burst into laughter '' Fuck. I knew he was a weirdo.'' she laughs.
I roll my eyes at her '' You could have give a heads up then because i really thought he was the one for me.''
She gives me a funny look '' Oh , please April ! You're eighteen you will think that any man you made eyes contact with is your soulmate.''
I shrug before sighing. I knew it was a matter of time before my mom knows about Matthew's proposal but it was insane. I couldn't marry him and i won't. He didn't love me. I don't know why he asked me to marry him but it wasn't love :
'' What did you say ?'' she asks.
'' I thrown at him.'' i confess making a disgusting face.
She laughs '' Duckie , you are not lucky with boys.'' she makes a point.
I sigh. She is right i wasn't. I've never been , i guess i was naive to think someone will gives a shit about how i felt. I didn't deserve that kind of attention.
Kimmie said to me before going to sleep to eat something on a fast food in our neighbourhood. She said it was delicious but i was pretty sure it was her way to make me go away so she could sleep camly. I listened to her but i when went inside i wasn't sure it was a good idea. After all there were a lot of people... I took a deep breath. Everything should be okay. Everything went perfectly until this dumbass came talk to me. I sat after took my order. Then i decided to read my pink notebook , it made me think nostalgic :
'' You are not stupid. You just have to work harder.'' I've wrote this after my mom scolded me to missed one of her assignement. She yelled at me during hours telling me i was stupid. I cried all night , it's why there are tears around this page. I remember waking up to wrote those words when i was still crying. Then , the day after i told my mom i'll try again and asked her to that until i succeeded. It tooks time but i did.
'' You are pretty. The prettiest contryside girl.'' I smirk remembering exactly when and where i wrote this one. It was during my hollidays to my grandmother. She was living in the south of Ohio before she died. I was angry because a tiny boy who had a giant house next to my grandmother one pushed me saying i was ugly. I was twelve. I sat on the ground before wrote those words. It was the first time i found myself ungly and it never stopped since then :
'' Hey , i am talking to you.'' a voice says.
I close my notebook , embarassed that i was being impolit. I sent my cheeks becoming reed and here was the scumbag i end up beating like a dog. You'll see why :
'' Oh...Sorry..I was..Sorry.'' i stammer nervous.
It was a man , brown eyes and hair. He looked cute if i had to be honest but he didn't surpassed the stranger i meet when i landed in Boston. He was the prettiest human being i've ever seen but he looked full of himself , too bad :
'' Can you move. My boodies and I want to sit here.'' he says.
I furrow my eyebrows '' Well , my order is almost ready. When it is i'll let you my sit you can sit next to me for the time being.'' i explain.
He sighs '' Listen , pussy. Move.'' he insists.
I didn't like his ton and he called me pussy. What was that ? I never seen someone so vulgar :
'' No.'' i refuse kind of scared.
I knew i shouln't have insisted but he should have say please and i would have leave without making a scene. Before i can do anything he took my notebook agressively from my hands hurting one of my wraist. I stand up immediatly trying to get it back but he was to tall compare to me. He started reading it and for the first time i've felt like i was naked. I hated to talk about my feelings because i knew people will laugh at me for being not strong enough. My worst nightmare happened when he started reading it out loud like it was joke. He dismissed my feelings :
'' Today i make myself pretty. I wasn't ugly today. I felt like a swan. '' he reads immitating my voice.
Then he laughed at me. I stared at him , tears in my eyes. I was stupid :
'' You're not a swan , you ugly ass.'' he insults me.
I don't know what happened. It never happened to me before. I've never punched anyone not even my sisters when they did me worst. I always was the one who cried but never acted. I was the one who used words instead of her fists , her reason instead of her passions. I acted out of impulse and my fist punched this sexist ass right in the face. His nose was bleeding. My fist hurted but i couldn't say it didn't felt good to punch this man on the contrary. He stared at me trying to wipe the blood from his noose but it didn't stop. I was stronger than i thought or maybe i was just lucky :
'' You bitch ! '' he yells.
I know i should stop but i didn't. Instead of that i jump on him , hands around his neck trying to punch him with every part of my bodies. He pissed me off. That isn't me at all. I wasn't the kind of girls who punched people who were mean to her but...i guess it's where i drawn the ligne. Because of the adrenaline rush i can't stop punching this guy until someone separated us. He had his hands around my waist and even if i wanted i couldn't move. I sigh :
'' Do you want more this ?'' i yell full of energy.
I couldn't really think straight , the only things i knew is that he hurted my feelings and i wanted to hurt him as he did to me the only thing different is that i used my fists instead of my words. Wich i'll regret later when the adrenaline will go away letting me think straight. The guy who was holding my waist let me go when the douchebag went outside the fasfood with his friends. I took a deep breath before bend down because my pink notebook was on the floor. Then i meet his eyes. It was the guy from the airport. Shit. I stare at him embarassed before looking at the floor. He said ssomething calling me ''Bunny panties'' but i was to affected by why just happened to listen to him. I already felt guilty about my behaviour , that was not how my parents raised me. They would be so ashame of me if they saw me. I close my eyes trying my best to not cry in front of a perfect stranger but they got hard to control when i saw that everyone was staring at me. I made myself a fool i gave myself on spectacle. What... I can't. I ran as i've never did.
God was probably laughing at me for being a fool and let my passions get the best of me. He must be disapointed right ? Or maybe he will forgive me ? I don't know. I started walking as fast as i can. The only thing i wanted was to get back in my sister's house and cry during the rest of the day but the pretty man from the airport followed me preventing me to go further away. I was already crying and i could read that he wasn't feeling good about that , he shouldn't have followed me. It wasn't him to apologize. Okay what i did was bad but his friend wasn't kind at all. He said something about being sorry for calling me bunny but it was the last of my worries. Then he apologized for the behaviour of his friend , he didn't have too but he did anyway. I don't know if he was being sincere or if it was just his way to avoid drama but right know i didn't really care. The only thing i wanted was to go home so that's what i did , ignoring the charming stranger and his apologizes.
One week later it was the start of the school year. I spent all week in my room i didn't want to go out alone after what happened in the fasfood. I made a scene and i was lucky no one called the cop. I could see the eyes of my parents disapointed in me and it was killing me. I tried all my life to conform myself to their expectations and now that i am i couldn't let this compromise me. I asked to God to forgave me but i wasn't completely sure i was truly sorry for what i did. He hurted me. He took a part of me while he was reading my notebook and he didn't have the right to do that right ? I sigh i was in front of my mirror staring at myself. I didn't want to look weird or contryside girl. I wanted to look like the other girls but i wasn't sure what the other girls was looking like. Kimmie gave me one her favorite black jean and pink blouse. I curled my brown hair trying to make them presentable but i couldn't help but found me ugly. I put some make up trying to do trick.
My phone start rigging so i decided to stop being obsessed with my look to answer. It was my mom. Kimmie must have told her it was today. I take a deep breath and clear my throat :
'' Hello mom '' i say trying to sound optimistic.
Stressed i decide to start cleaning my room even if it was cleaner than i could make it. I was affraid she starts asking questions about Matthew or worse my life here in Boston :
'' Sweetie ! How are you ? I was affraid to call you while you were in school.'' she explains.
I shrug before lower myself to take my suitcase in my bed. I had some clothes in it and i had to put them inside the closet :
'' Fine , don't worry. How's everyone there ?'' i ask curious.
She sighs '' Well. You know your dad is crying over you like a child and Alice is happy to have a room for her only.'' she says laughing a little.
I smile knowing how much my littlest sister wanted the room she even said i was annoying to cohabit with me :
'' I am not even surprised. It was Alice's biggest dream.'' i giggle.
While putting my clothes on my bed i start searching my pink notebook it's been since the scene i made i didn't seen it and i was sure it was inside my suitcase :
'' Yeah. How the things are doing there ? Your sister is okay ? You're taking good care of them even if it's family... You know it's...''
'' Yeah , mom. I know it's the Kepner's hospitality. I made them breakfast and i do laundry and i am trying to make myself smaller as i can.'' i cut her knowing exactly what she would say.
I sigh annoying by the fact i couldn't find my notebook. I was sure i had it there. I scratch my forehead before seating on my bed. I should think before panicking and searching the house like a crazy person. I wasn't a crazy person...Well not today. It kind of surprised me my mom still didn't know about my date with Matthew. The Taylor were a very conservative family maybe he didn't told them. Wich was a relieve maybe he wasn't that bad after all right ?:
'' I am proud of you. Go you should get ready. Don't forgtet to call me to tell me about your day.''
I smile trough the phone. I kind of miss them already , i was very close to them and it was the first time i spent so much time fareway from them :
'' I love of all you.'' i say before hanging up the phone.
Then i direct myself to the kitchen. My sister and her husband seemed to have a fight , i wasn't sure what i was suppose to do. She was yelling about something he didn't tell her and he was saying she was overeaccting like she always did. I didn't like his way to speak to her , his ton was full of disdain. I clear my throat signal my presence. They were now staring at me. Kimmie sighs before looking at her husband :
'' We'll talk about this later. I have to drop her at school.'' she explains camly.
I was embarass. I didn't know what to do or what to say or if should do something or say anything. Maybe i should stay silent it was probably the best thing to do right. Her husband let out a long sigh before looking at me and smirking :
'' Pretty pink blouse.'' he compliments me.
I frown feeling weird. I didn't took this as a compliment but more like an insult , something was odd with him and i wasn't sure i was the only to see it because my sister looked as surprise as i was. I simply shrug before following my sister. When we are inside her car , i fell a little better. At least he wasn't the one who had to drop me at school. I wouldn't have survive i think. Maybe i was overeacting but my guts was screaming other was. Kimmie was calm. She was the talky one. Was she angry with me because of what her husband said or was it because of their fight ? I didn't know and it wasn't helping to control how nervous i was :
'' Did you see my pink notebook ?'' i ask trying to make her talk.
She could answer anything i don't care. The only important fact was that she will talk. Talk is good. I hated silence :
'' The one you that you carried around everywhere when you were a child ?'' she returns the question to me.
I nod kind of embarass. They were used to make fun of me because of this wich was one of the reason i stopped to write inside it. I found myself stupid and i was tired to be taken for a fool. I wasn't one. At least not totally :
'' Hmmm... No. Sorry. Duckie , why did you lost it ?''
'' I don't know. I was sure it was in my suitcase but it's not.'' i reply.
'' I am sure you will found it.'' she reassures me.
Yeah. It was probably in the guest room somewhere. I will search better when my first day of highschool will be done...This if i survived highschool of course. When she pull over the car i feel nauseous. Please don't throw Please don't throw. Please don't throw. I beg myself if i throw i should just do home school to end my humiliation :
'' I am gonna throw at people.'' i rumble '' I am gonna throw at people and they are all gonna hate me , then i will have to go back to Moline and marry a guy i thrown at and everything in my life will gonna make me want to throw everyday until i die'' i add still rumbling.
Kimmie was raising her eyebrows '' I think...You're kind of overeacting. '' she assumes.
'' Really ? Am I ? Because at the last new i am a walking disaster ! '' i insist.
She rolls her eyes at me before taking my shoulders into her hands '' Kepner girls are not coward.'' she says.
I nod. She was right. I wanted this so damn much i couldn't just run away from it because i was affraid of the unknown. I smile at my sister and when i am out of the care i wave at her. I had to take care of myself like a big girl. I look at the highschool : they were a lot of teenagers talking in front of it , smocking and laughing. I start walking ready to go inside when two girls : one blondie with blue eyes and the other a brunette with blue eyes stopped me to extend me a prospectus :
'' Oh. What is..What is it ?'' i mutter.
They look at each other before smilling '' It's the annual party of the beggining of the year. Only for senior.'' the blondie explains smiling at me now.
I nod not knowing what i should say. The brunette stares at me :
'' Are you a senior ?'' she asks.
'' Yeah. I am. '' i answer.
'' Really ? We've never seen you around there.'' highlights the blondie.
The brunette nods. I smile at her trying to at least look kind :
'' I am new. That's why.'' i explain.
'' Oh. You should totally come. Jackson Avery arrange the best parties.'' says optimisticaly the blondie.
'' It's tomorrow night. '' adds the brunette.
I've never went to a party or nothing of the sort but maybe i should right ? It was probably the best way to makes friends. I nod smiling a bit :
'' And if your're new you should follown me, you have to see Bailey the director of the highschool.'' says the blondie.
'' Oh.. Okay i follow you.'' i reply.
She smiles before kissing on the mouth the brunette one. I stare before smiling at her , it was not like i didn't know there was people who loved each other this way i just never seen it t Moline. It wasn't really well seen because of the people being narrowminded. I still don't understand why people were that mean. After all , love is love. We are not important enough to this planet to judge other people. I follow the blondie one trough the corridors :
'' What's your name ?'' i ask playing with my hands thinking it would help my nerves.
'' Arizona and you ?'' she asks back smily.
'' April. Was the girl your girlfriend ?''
'' Yep. It's Amelia Sheperd. A great girl even if she can be a total pain of the ass , she has my heart and...you know what i mean.'' she says playfully.
No. I didn't know what she was implying but i nod anyway i didn't want to look clueless the first day :
'' Where do you came from ?'' she asks before knocking on a door where it was written '' Principal office.''
'' Ohio. '' i reply feeling my stomach burst.
She makes a funny face '' Oh. That's explain a lot.''
I frown '' What do you mean ?'' i ask curious.
But she doesn't have the time to answer that the door opened to a little and pretty black woman. She must be the principal of the school , i smile trying my best to look presentable :
'' Hello miss Bailey. This is April , from Ohio. It's a new student.'' says Arizona.
The principal stares at me a while '' April Kepner right ?'' she asks to me.
I nod '' Yeah. That's me.'' i confirm optimisticaly.
'' Arizona you can go. I will take care of her.'' she says.
Arizona looks at me smiling a little '' Good luck.'' she whispers.
What will i need luck ? It's just the principal right ? Not a big deal right ?:
'' I read a lot of things about you. It said that this school was a mess until you came here and make it shine with prestige. I really admire you. '' i compliment her remembering all the articles i've read in newspaper about her. She was a legend.
She stops walking and turns at me facing me , she was looking me with dark eyes the same dark eyes my mom use on me where i've made a folishness but there were people at me so she couldn't scold me right the way but make me understand that when they will be gone. I'll be dead meat. Yeah that was that kind of look. I swallow hard before trying to smile :
'' Did i said something to offend you ?'' i ask unsure.
'' Listen to me. My rule number is to never kiss my ass i hate that'' she says before start walking right away.
I follow her '' Oh.. I am so sorry... I didn't know...I am sorry. It won't happen again.'' i promise.
She stops again '' I also hate people who apologized for no reasons. You didn't know. Not a big deal.''
'' Oh yeah... of course.. I am sorry...'' i apologize without realizing.
She gaves me the same dark look and i freeze in front of my stupidty :
'' I am sorry...I mean...it won't happen again.'' i stammer.
'' Shut up. You're main teacher will be Miss Mongtmory. She is a science teacher. '' she explains before opening a door.
It was a class. There were a lot of students and the teacher was a woman with reed hair and magnificient eyes. People in Boston really had the prettiest eyes i've ever seen in my whole life i think remembering the guy i meet at the airport then at the fasfood after my fight :
'' You must be the new one , nice to miss you.'' welcomes me Mongtmory.
I smile at her standing next to her :
'' Okay kids. It's a new year so get your ass from your bed and rock it. I want everyone of you to go to college , did i make myself clear ?'' announces Bailey.
'' Yes miss Bailey.'' they repeats
The principal turns at me and i try to smile even i fell like she was already hating me , it's been fast it takes more than a few minutes before people starts hates me usually but Boston was crushing the odd :
'' And you don't be a trouble maker okay ?'' she informs me.
I nod '' I won't.''
Then she went away letting me with Mongtmory :
'' Come here and introduce you to them. They are pain in the ass but you don't really have a choice.'' shes lets me know.
I smile before standing in front of them. I recognize Arizona sitting next to her girlfriend , they were both smiling at me :
'' It's a new student. Try to be polit enough to let her finish her introduction.'' she says.
'' Hi ! I am April Kepner , i am from Ohi and i am excited to be a part of your class. I hope you will take good care of me and i am already sorry.'' i rumble smiling.
My smile fades aways when i recognize a boy. I stare at him , eyes big , mouth open. How it was possible ? I know the world is little but that little ? It didn't make any sense. It was the guy , the very handsome guy who surpassed Justin Timberlake. He looked as surprise as i was but it didn't last long before starts smirking. Of course he would. I close my eyes hoping it would be a bad dream but when i open them he is still here with his freaking adorable smile :
'' Okay...'' mutters the teacher '' Go sit next to Jackson Avery and don't scare her Avery please.'' she says.
I guess his name was Jackson. Shit. I guess it was my punishment to had punch his friend i had to spent the year with him to remember that my behaviour was shit. Great. I sit next to him trying to ignore him. Maybe he didn't remember me right ? It's not like my face was like his. I can be forget right ? I extend my hand to him faking a smile :
'' Nice to meet you.''i say.
He glances me eyebrows up. Of course he remenbers me. I lower my hand before sighing , at least i tried right :
'' First of all it's not the first time we meet...and it wasn't very pleasant to meeting you.'' he explains to me.
I roll my eyes '' I am not sure what you are talking about... That's the first time i see you.'' i lie still smiling.
He smiles '' Oh...Interesting. After playing the gangster she is playing the fool.'' he laughs.
I sigh '' You're mean.'' i blurt.
He shrugs his shoulders '' By the way... Your name is really April ?'' he asks seriously.
I furrow my eyebrows '' Yeah.'' i snap angrily.
I didn't like this guy he was so full of himself and was looking down on me :
'' It's shitty name.'' he says making a face.
'' You think Jackson is better ? ''
'' Still better than April , though.'' he jokes.
I roll my eyes '' I already hate him.'' i whisper at myself.
'' I heard and...'' he stops a while before staring at me.
This close i could see his freckles on his noose who just made him more beautiful than he already was , i lick my lips before avoiding his look :
'' and you already broke my heart.'' he finishes with a smirk.
I frown , God has sure a strange way to punish me.
