2. Alone
Crack!
She clasps both her hands over her open mouth, cutting off the frightened gasp that nearly escapes her lips. Her whole entire body is trembling, and her burning legs feel like jello. How long had she been running for? She leans her back against the large, rough tree trunk, unable to find any more strength left in her legs to adjust them in order to help relieve the burden of discomfort that's currently spreading through them. As her back sinks into the coarse texture of the tree, she can't help but feel a sense of ease overcome her. Who knew something so jagged could bring this much comfort…
Snap!
She jumps, and her heart nearly manages to hop right out of her chest so that it can run far away from her body out of fear for what might find it. A waterfall of tears are still streaming out of her eyes. She's scared. Terrified. She doesn't know how much more her body can take. A small seed of hope that he'll come is planted in her heart, but she's very much alone, and she knows she can't rely on him, or any of them, to come save her every single time, even though one of them always—always—somehow manages to rescue her in some way when she's in absolute dire need of it…but did her situation suffice to become that kind of eventuality? She closes her eyes, shielding them from this horrible world and even more so horrendous desire that is clawing its way out from the dark corners of her heart.
To say she allowed this to happen is wrong. However…to say she is starting to hope that her condition would reach that dire situation isn't completely wrong, either.
If she ever had to go through a confession session, then this would be her sin to plead guilty for: She once upon a time didn't do everything in her power to stay away from danger. Not that she was putting herself at risk on purpose. She never wanted any of it to happen. At least, that's what she initially always thought. The truth is, while she never outwardly invited it to happen, she always made room for the possibility of it. That was always enough for something to occur. And yes, she knew how stupid it was. Especially now, she knows it as clear as the tears she's been crying every day—they never stop, in case anyone is curious. Anyone at all… Who can care? She is alone.
She takes in deep breaths to soothe the overwhelming swelling that is developing inside of her like an injury beginning to inflame rapidly. There's no time for her to throw a pity party for herself—why is she even acting like this? She used to be better than this.
Opening her eyes, she stares with dull cerulean orbs through the darkness surrounding her while her hands lower from her mouth to rest at her sides. The smell of wet leaves and something slightly bitter invades her body. She is currently taking cover behind some small shrubberies which are barely big enough to hide her slumped figure that appears like a limp, broken doll, and the pieces she can see through the dark green leaves are only bits of the chilled, murky forest she had woken up in this morning—or whatever time of day it was—she rarely ever knows anymore... It's now eerily silent.
So, she closes her drying eyes once more, allowing her other senses to take over. Your other senses are some really useful tools you stupid humans never give much attention or appreciation to! she can hear her rather large and round pink friend 's voice echo inside her head. For example, my nose. Maybe if you practiced and actually used your nose, you could be as helpful as me and do this sort of thing by yourself. But I guess it can't be helped.
She can't help but allow a small grin to crack the grave expression on her face in remembrance of the memory. Her pink friend was upset because the particular stench he was tracking back then absolutely reeked!—but they needed to track the owner of the scent since they had apparently stolen something valuable from inside the Boar Hat, the bar a particular golden-haired boy ran. This boy… Her small grin fades. Where are you now? she wonders as the rest of the memory from that particular day flash floods into her mind, filling the entire room of her thoughts. The item that was stolen, it was something important, but he never did tell her what it was, did he? He didn't even let her or some of their other comrades come along. He only allowed their mage friend, Merlin, to come. She was so concerned when they didn't return late that night, too; but they did eventually come home the next morning—him having the largest smile on his face in greeting despite having a few mysterious cuts that etched his body.
When will be the next time she'll ever get to see that smile again in that kind of setting? She wishes she had known back then that that scene wouldn't last forever. But she should have known better than anyone else how important it is to treasure each happy moment, for one never knows when it'll be violently taken away from you...
She really misses him, Meliodas. And her pink, talking pig friend, Hawk, too. And of course, everybody else…
Her chest starts to constrict again and it becomes hard for her to breathe as she tries to contain her tears. No pity party. Don't cry, she tells herself. She can try to be strong, at least, even though she sometimes could be the absolute worst. Once, in a dark time period of weakness, she let everyone else get hurt, and she herself almost lost it all—every person that mattered to her, every memory she held close to her heart…even her own life.
She never lets herself forget. Even if she tried, she could never. Gosh, she really can be such an idiot. She hates how weak she can be.
A while ago, back when she first was trying to cope with it all, when she still didn't fully understand the heavy burden she had chosen to take up on her frail shoulders, how everybody's future depends on her, how every real memory they all no longer remembered rests in the palms of her delicate, weak hands…she had become overly aware of how lonely she was, and would continue to be. And the fear…oh that stupid fear.
Here in this world she now solely exists in, unable to exist anywhere else, is the most dangerous place for anyone to be in. At least, that's what she's beginning to understand. Especially for herself. She is a girl with no real special power, physical strength, or fighting skills. In this place, it is almost mandatory to have one, if not all, of those. Either that, or start greeting death like an old friend each time you visit here, unless you are able to escape it before you leave this world. However, for her case, she can never escape this world. Not until her real home world is restored.
The whole reason why she was even sent here is because she could no longer exist in that world they all once lived in. She can't help but wonder what it's like now—a world where magic never existed… How is everybody doing? What kind of life are they living? Are they all still friends? How much has exactly changed? Are they doing okay?
Better yet…is her sacrifice worth anything? Or is it all for naught?
Like the amount of time she's been trapped here and how she cannot figure out the timeclock here to save the life of her, she no longer knows how long it's been since the threat to all of magic's existence was endangered to decease. Magic was going to be completely gone forever, and she was not going to let that happen—not when it was such a huge part of everyone and mattered so much to them—so, the second she saw there was a way she could actually help all the people she deeply treasured, she sacrificed herself without thinking, triggering the curse that everyone is now ensnared in. Now, she is trapped here while everybody else has to live in a world where no magic ever existed. In order to break the curse set by holy and demon magic, all that has to be done is for someone to remember her name. Someone has to remember who she is and that she ever existed. It seems simple.
But apparently remembering someone you never knew existed is hard to do. Maybe impossible.
The corners of her lips twitch downwards a bit.
As the curse entitles: in a world where magic never existed nor can no longer exist in, someone has to remember her, the person who sealed the entire world's magic inside her body as a vessel to contain it, in order to bring everything back to the way it once was; and in the new cursed world where magic never existed nor ever can, she can't exist there.
Between the Demon Realm, Britannia, and the heavens, a place not affected by the curse exists because it's a place not of this world. This is the only place she can exist in, named: Somnia. In a way, this world isn't even real while at the same time it is. Somnia is a world of dreams, originating from the Demon Realm, and the only way to reach this place is through dreams. That's what Meliodas told her, at least, and it seemed like there was more he could've said, but wouldn't. She trusted that was all she needed to know, though; yet it didn't stop the questions from forming in her mind. She did press for more before, but he never said anything that was enough to put out her now flaming curiosity. If only she had some mind reading powers...
That's what made her situation funny, however, because even though she has all the magic in the world stored in her body, she can't use an ounce of it. Why? Because none of it is her own. She's just a sealed vessel with magic seals keeping everything contained inside of her. If she dies, so does the magic. Her body is just like an alternative to some ancient pot—both are very fragile, both need to be treated with great care, and if they break, then there's no repairing the damage because even if someone does manage to glue the broken pieces back together, they're still nothing but broken and useless, no longer holding or able to hold what was once kept inside of them. Which is why protecting her and keeping her alive is their first priority.
Unlike Meliodas and the others, if she gets hurt here, she gets hurt. Everything that happens to her is real because her body here is her actual physical body. When the others come here, it's not their real body; it's just their body in a dream, so when they die or get seriously injured, they wake up and disappear from this world, leaving her. When they return, their bodies are renewed, and thankfully, their memories aren't, at least.
It was a huge shock, though, the first time she witnessed it. The first "death." She wasn't expecting it at all. The worst part was that it had been him, too. It had been Meliodas. And unbeknownst to her at the time, it wasn't going to be the last time it happened, nor was it going to be happening a merciful amount of times, either, even though he warned her. That's when she began to discover how her body probably could produce an ocean out of tears. She also began to realize that she would be spending a lot of time by herself. As an after effect, she then had to be so incredibly stupid and selfish by (inactively) trying to put herself in danger just so she could find someone, or more accurately, they'd be able to find her. She maybe wouldn't have to spend some time alone in this forsaken world full of creatures with nothing but bloodlust in their piercing eyes, is what she originally thought, only to nearly get herself killed in the end. In her defense, she didn't understand what exactly was going on when this first all started and she thought—
You're just making excuses, a voice suddenly says in the back of her mind. That's just an excuse. Excuses, excuses, excuses…
She clenches her teeth, but she doesn't bother quieting the voice. It is just her own conscious speaking nothing but the truth. She knew where the stakes were and how high they were when she decided to sacrifice herself, but the reality of it didn't slap her until she took action and had to start living it. When she first arrived here, all she knew was that she had been taken to a place called, Somnia, and that nothing could go back to normal unless someone remembered her name. But how was anyone supposed to do that when their memories of her would be erased? She believed in the people she knew, though, and that was enough. She still wholly believes in them. After all, he gave his word to her. They all did. But her will had started to falter at some point…and then she received her punishment.
"What were you thinking, Elizabeth?" Meliodas had asked her quietly. He was treating a large gash on her fair leg that she had received from the hideous, black beast that had started chasing her earlier. "I know you're strong in many ways, but not like this. You can't fight that kind of monster, let alone outrun it."
"I know," she quietly whispered, trying her best to not flinch as he wrapped her wound. She refused to look him in the eyes. If anything, at least let her keep some of her dignity, even if it was the size of a sand grain, so that she could face him properly the next time she would see him. In the background, she could hear Hawk asking repeatedly in a mixed, panic mess of "Yeah, what were you thinking, Elizabeth?" and "Are you okay? Is she okay, Meliodas?" and "Eek! That was scary…did you see its teeth?!"
She honestly didn't know what to do in that moment. She didn't know what to say because she knew that he saw. Hawk, too. They both saw. They saw how she just stopped and stood there, unmoving. How the black side of her heart was beckoning for that creature she had originally been trying to run away from to look her way. How she stared directly at it, politely waiting, until it did notice her.
Originally, she had thought she had given herself enough space from the beast. She thought that if this didn't work out in the end, she still had given herself enough room to barely manage to make it out of this alive all by herself. Again. She originally could have gotten away from the beast without any trouble or injuries scathed, but when she realized she was going to be safe and make it far away from the beast, she stopped. If she was safe and sound, hiding somewhere where no creature or soul could ever find her, then it would probably remain that way for the rest of the day until sleep took her far away. She would have to end the day being in her own company. Again.
She pursed her lips. It was...unacceptable. She wanted—no, needed—them to find her.
She could admit, talking to herself could sometimes bring some entertainment for maybe five seconds, but it could never suffice. It could never compare to the feeling of being held by someone dear and being able to smile and see one in return that wasn't your own reflection. She couldn't afford to be safe quite yet because that meant the chances of anyone ever finding her would dwindle down to nothing, and all she wanted was to see someone she recognized, so that she knew she still wasn't entirely by herself. That they were still out there. So, she stopped running.
But she somehow didn't realize earlier that the creature was destruction itself and could tear everything down in its path so quickly and catch up to her so easily, swallowing her whole. This was the one time everyone from Meliodas' group of comrades and some Holy Knights close to the royal family found her and came to her rescue. This was the only time, too, where seemingly everybody was able to find each other in this vast world, and maybe if she hadn't have put herself in danger like an idiot, they all could have had a better, more tranquil reunion. No one would've gotten hurt. No one would've died. It was all her fault...
"Yeah," Meliodas then finally said, placing a warm hand gently under her chin and lifting it so their eyes inevitably met, "but do you really?"
She simply stared.
One second...
Two seconds...
A few more seconds...
That's when she broke down and confessed everything. She was lonely. She hated being alone. She just wanted to be with everyone else. She just wanted to be with him. This world was terrifying, and nothing ever stayed the same. She was always, always alone. No one ever found her unless she was in danger, and she wanted them to be able to find her, so she did what she could so that they would find her. She just missed everyone so much. But she knew she was being selfish. She hated how everyone always had to get hurt in her stead, and how there was absolutely nothing she could do to help. She never meant for anyone to have to get hurt. She never meant for any of this!
Meliodas listened quietly to her, never once showing a hint of hate or disappointment. When she finished her confession, he remained silent. The silence had felt like thick honey was being poured over them, filling the empty void surely, yet torturously slow.
Then, after what felt like an eternity, Meliodas finally spoke: "Elizabeth, I made a promise to you, and so did everybody else. I'm sorry I haven't been able to find you every time I come here, and I can't guarantee that I will be able to find you, either. Not in this world. I need you to understand that and stay strong because while my resolve and promise to you will remain true—I promise I will remember you—it won't be worth anything by itself if you aren't still alive. Don't let what everybody else is sacrificing for you all be for nothing. Don't let your own sacrifice be for nothing. We're all trying to protect the same thing, and it is going to take some blood.
"I'm not asking you to get used to it. However, no matter how brutal it gets, no matter how hard it is, don't forget why you're here in the first place. You can't let this be the reason that ultimately takes you down. Just the fact that you're still here after all this time is proof of your will and strength. Don't give it up just yet. You've survived a lot longer than most who have come here. But even so, if you can't fulfill the desire you sacrificed your own life for, I promise to carry it out for you, even without magic.
"And I have one last promise to you for once we break this curse, which is that I will never let you be alone like this ever again. But for now, you're going to have to be strong. You need to remember that this is what you chose because you wanted to protect everything. There is nobody else who can have your resolve, and if you give up now, then it's over."
Once he finished speaking, Meliodas proceeded to wipe her tears while Hawk buried his head beneath her trembling hand, snuggling close to her.
As his words fill her mind once again, the dark feeling in her heart vanishes.
Elizabeth understands it all now. She knows where her heart lies and what kind of resolve she needs in order to fulfill that hope she originally had—she still has. And nobody, and absolutely nothing, is going to stop her. Even if they never do remember her name or who she is…
Crack!
Elizabeth jumps and flashes her eyes open. Some strength had returned to her legs during her moment indulged in her thoughts and memories, so she quietly pulls them close to her chest as she scans the several openings through the leaves she can see of the dark, colorless forest. Her heart is pounding like a drum beating the death toll and her vision is still adjusting. If she heard right, then the sound came more from her right…ah! She spots it. The thing. Or at least, a leg of it…? It blends in fairly well with some of the slimmer, gray tree trunks, but she's sure that's one of its legs.
From what she recalls seeing, this creature is large and lanky. It reminded her of a large spider when she first spotted it in the distance through the cool fog after waking up and walking around for what felt like at least an hour. At first, she wasn't sure what she was looking at. She had stood still for what felt like one whole minute, trying to make sense of the thing she was looking at and why all her senses were warning her to stop and run far away from it. Her heart nearly stopped once she realized that there was actually a thing standing there, and she had a feeling it was staring at her, too. Before she knew it, her body was already going into flight mode and all she could think was: Isn't this just a lovely way to already start my day off as?
Elizabeth holds her breath as she stares at the leg. She tries to think of what to do when suddenly—
Snapcrack!Crack—whoosh!
She snaps her gaze forward to look straight ahead, and all Elizabeth can see are the traces of the proof the direction the spider-like creature had rushed off to through the falling leaves. Apparently she didn't have to bother making an escape plan at all. Before she even bothers to question why, she crawls out of her hiding spot and begins running off in the opposite direction, but a little bit at an angle so she isn't heading back in the same direction she had come from. She doesn't bother looking back and keeps running through the fog, breaking the branches of the shrubs she keeps blindly running into. The fog, like a white smoke screen heavily blanketing the ground of the forest, hides what lies up ahead and what's being left behind her.
All Elizabeth can hear are the echoing sounds of snap! and crack! as she runs through the dull greenery and breaks their arms that block her path and tug on her night sky blue dress with an infants grip. Her cheeks feel hot, and her lungs are starting to hurt while her legs are feeling oddly light, but she doesn't slow down. Off in the distance, she starts hearing the familiar sound of thrashing water and can smell something wet and dewy, and as the noise is getting audibly closer, she hears a loud screech! intertwined with something else far off in the distance, so she turns her head inherently, conscious of how her silver starlight hair falls all over her shoulders, brushing against her tender skin through the ripped openings on the upper left shoulder of her dress, to look behind her with her arms shielding her face from the skinny branches that seem to be getting more obnoxiously plentiful—
"Ah!" a scream suddenly escapes her lips.
For, there no longer is any ground beneath her.
Just so you know, I worked my butt off on this chapter. So it better not be too awful. ;P
Thanks so much for reading! :)
