A/N Lots of songs referenced here, each major guest selects a special number of their own.


"Do you smell roses?"

"I've never done this before."

"Charles, son of Stephen, does your heart beat only for this woman?"

"Mine."


The DJ put all the specials in a separate basket, more than half of which had never seen the inside of a room like this. I thought it was supposed to be a wedding. From up above, the sound of laughter, loud and happy, penetrated the floor, followed by the low rumble of applause. Sounds like Open Mike night up there.

It felt wrong doing it this way, and he checked his schedule again. No cocktail hour, no photographer, and a playlist that would fit in a rock concert better than a reception.

"Are you ready?" asked the manager nervously.

"As ready as I can be with an itinerary like this," he replied. "This is crazy."

"She's crazy!" hissed the manager. "Just do it, and make it work!" He stalked off to his office, leaving the DJ shaking his head behind him.

This is the strangest gig I ever played.


"Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. and Mrs. Charles Bartowski!"

The doors opened, and Chuck and Sarah swept into the room to great applause, as if most of the people hadn't already shaken their hands and taken their picture just outside. Ellie, knowing her brother liked posing for pictures about as much as he liked the PDA, had opted for a more subtle approach, with Sarah's eager approval. Every spy in the room had been told to bring their camera of choice and snap every candid shot they could. The few posed shots taken in the foyer would be just the tip of tonight's iceberg.

When they got to the middle of the room, Ellie looked over at the main table, where her husband had taken his place. He pointed to himself, and she nodded.

The sound of bells rang throughout the room, as Devon tapped his glass with a spoon to get everyone's attention. "Good afternoon, everyone. Thank you all for coming, and making this celebration the event it has become. For many years, the only family Chuck and his sister Ellie had was each other, and as a result, their family bond is the strongest I've ever had the good fortune to witness. On the day we met in medical school, I could tell that Ellie's devotion to her brother was paramount, and as I discovered on the day I met him, well-justified. His devotion to her was even greater, if such a thing could be imagined. On the day of Ellie's and my wedding, Chuck pretty much single-handedly turned a morning disaster into an evening miracle, giving his sister the wedding of her dreams. And today his sister, my wife Eleanor Faye Bartowski-Woodcombe, has done the same for him, creating the marvelous ceremony we just witnessed upstairs. Good job, honey!" The audience applauded her politely. "But I can't really say single-handedly, can I, since at every step Sarah was there, his star, his lodestone, his woman of action. Since she entered Chuck's life, he's a changed man. What was a life of hopes and dreams became a life of planning and accomplishment. I know I was the fortunate one, when I entered into a family bond with Ellie, but I'm not at all sure about Chuck and Sarah. They are both equally fortunate, and equally blessed. Ladies and Gentlemen, please join me in a toast to the happy couple!" He raised his glass. "Chuck and Sarah, peace and long life!"

As the assembled guests drank to their health and happiness, guitar music came from the speakers as the DJ started up Devon's own special song, and Chuck took Sarah into his arms for their first (official) dance as (official) husband and wife.

The smile on your face

Lets me know that you need me.

There's a truth in your eyes

Saying you'll never leave me.

The touch of your hand says you'll catch me whenever I fall.

You say it best when you say nothing at all.

As they danced, Morgan and Alex came over to Devon. "This is a wonderful song, Mr. Woodcombe," said Alex. "I love Notting Hill."

Devon smiled. "One of the most romantic movies I know." He elbowed Morgan gently in the arm.

Morgan nodded amiably, completely missing the point. "That was a great toast," he added, "A perfect Star Trek quote."

Devon looked confused. "A perfect what?"


Dinner, at least the first course of it, was served, at least to Chuck and Sarah. After a few minutes, Ellie noticed that the levels of salad in their bowls had not really diminished, so she left Devon chatting with Hannah while she went over to the main table. "Something wrong?"

"Not at all," said Chuck loudly. He may have been the groom but she was still the big sister. "I love salad." A few people laughed as he shoved a huge wad of greenery in his mouth and started chewing with enthusiasm.

"And you, Sarah?"

"Carina told me to eat light, she has a plan."

Ellie paled. She knew all about Carina and plans. "Oh God."

The DJ's voice echoed from the speakers. "This next song is dedicated to the happy couple from Eleanor Woodcombe."

The spotlight caught her with face slack and eyes wide, Carina's evil superpower at work. Chuck listened to the music and Sarah watched him for her cues as she listened. Certainly the words of the first verse rang no bells with her, or apparently Chuck either.

Why do you have to go and make things so complicated?

I see the way you're acting like you're somebody else

Gets me frustrated

Life's like this

You, you fall and you crawl and you break

And you take what you get and you turn it into honesty

You promised me I'm never gonna find you fake it

No, no, no

Chuck fell back laughing at the first line, and Sarah smiled, knowing he'd share the joke with her later. She liked the later lines, herself. "Your falling and breaking days are over, mister," she said loudly.

He leaned in and gave a kiss, to more applause. Then she burst out laughing, but no one knew why.

It was…complicated.


Sarah was really beginning to wish Carina'd get on with her plan, whatever it was. She'd been dragging out eating her second course for far too long.

Another chime rang out, and the DJ spoke again, "Carina Miller."

The microphone was passed to the maid of honor. "I'm supposed to give a speech now, but I'm not going to. Hey Blondie," she called. "Dance with me."

The dance floor was empty except for Carina in…half of her bridesmaid's dress. The top half. The bottom had been covering a pair of exercise shorts, but that disguise had been left on the edge of the parquet square, guarded by her date for the evening, Officer Davis.

Sarah stood and walked to the edge of the floor, followed by Chuck, and pulled at the Velcro tabs on her own dress, stepping out onto the floor in her own shorts, without the high heels. Carina made a gesture, and music spilled from the speakers, but it wasn't suited for any dance floor in America.

It was a mood piece, Carina style. Sarah could imagine it playing it at the edge of some sand pit in Thailand, as bored warlords watched gladiators fight to the death. She smiled, and got in the mood.

Carina struck on the beat, nowhere near her usual speed, and Sarah blocked and responded with a strike of her own, also delivered in what passed for slow motion. Let her reflexes scream all they wanted, she was dancing.

"She's a woman, you know what I mean,

You better listen, listen to me,

She's gonna set you free, yeah.."

They moved around the floor, spinning, kicking, dodging and feinting, a ballet de combat, a dance of near-death. No one who saw it could understand how either woman was still standing unbloodied, even those who knew what they were doing. Some of the hand-to-hand instructors were filming it for analysis and, possibly, training materials.

The song came to a sudden stop, but not sudden enough. Both women stepped back and bowed on the last note, then fell into each other's arms, laughing as the audience applauded. The deejay just shook his head and cued up some new stuff. Strangest gig ever.

Carina reclaimed the microphone. "Chuck," she said, and everyone looked over at the groom as he stood at the edge of the floor, smiling. "Take good care of her. She can defend herself against everyone but you."

Chuck handed off his glass, and brought the skirt to his wife's gown onto the floor for her to step into. Once she was done fastening the Velcro again, he looked at Carina and pointed to a spot on the floor just in front of him. She stepped forward.

Chuck flashed. With perfect precision and blinding speed, he slapped her, the most perfect slap the world had ever seen. It stung. It left a mark. It echoed through the hall, chasing all other sounds out. It did her no damage whatsoever, full of sound and fury, signifying…everything.

Carina stared at him, wide-eyed. The audience wondered at Chuck's sudden and obvious death wish.

"Now you're forgiven," he said.

Carina grinned. "Finally!" She swept him up in a bone-crushing hug, deciding at the last minute to top it off with a kiss.

"A-hem," said Sarah loudly, standing right there.

Carina broke it off. "Oh, relax. It's the only one I'm ever gonna get, I just wanted to make it good."

For Carina, that wasn't good. That was modest, almost…chaste. Still, Sarah moved in close, said softly, "Someone needs to be taught a lesson."

Carina froze.

Sarah didn't pounce on Chuck this time, just turned to him, and said, "Husband."

She was the only other person in the room at that moment. "Wife," he said, taking her in his arms. He kissed her, by no means modest or chaste.

The ice sculpture started to melt faster.

Chuck spun Sarah into a perfect dip, lips still together, and held that position, unknowing as innumerable cameras captured the moment.

Officer Davis stepped over to his date, standing there watching the couple with a curiously sad expression on her face. He offered some measure of a comfort with a little hug. Being a gentleman, he put one hand around her waist.

Being no lady, Carina took that hand and moved it someplace lower down.

Being an officer as well as a gentleman, he took matters, well, in hand. "Think they'll miss us?"

"Not in the least."

Chuck finally raised his wife up again and broke the kiss. They stood there together, staring into each other's eyes, and then suddenly remembered where they were. Chuck turned red as Sarah said, "See?" She looked for her friend, but Carina was nowhere in sight.

"Where'd she go?"


"Colonel! Bold choice there with the music," said Chuck when the swirl of the crowd brought them together. Sarah was still polishing off her delayed dinner, but he decided to mingle before they brought the cake out.

Casey looked less than thrilled with the praise. Or maybe it was because he hadn't had a cigar in a while and hadn't yet figured out how to escape so he could have one in peace. "Only you could ruin Doris Day, Bartowski."

Chuck raised a hand to his chest in wounded innocence. "Hey, what'd I do? Pink Martini made it, I just happen to be among the select few who appreciate its darker tone and more ambivalent take on the human condition. I thought you of all people would appreciate that."

"Oh, I appreciate that alright, Chuck, but I would have expected, under these peculiar circumstances and all, that you and the little woman might have preferred a little unbridled optimism."

"I thought that's what it was," said the little woman, coming up from behind him. "For you, I mean."

Casey grunted, taking a sip of his drink.

"It's true, Casey, really," said Chuck, slipping an arm around his bride's waist as if she hadn't been there all night. "If you had gone with the Doris Day, I would have had to assume you'd been kidnapped by space aliens and I've already used that line."

Casey gave him a strange look, and turned to Sarah. "I swear he's nerdier than usual tonight. Did you do that?"

Chuck and Sarah laughed, and turned away to mingle. "I sure hope so," she said as she left.

Casey turned away, and found himself confronted by his incognito commanding officer.

"Colonel Casey."

"Aunt Diane."

"You selected that atrocity?"

It wasn't that bad. "I underestimated my opposition, ma'am. It won't happen again."

"Don't worry about it, Colonel," said the General, with a bit of a smile. "I've got your back."


The DJ spoke again. "Morgan Grimes."

Chuck recognized the first notes instantly. "Going with the classics, eh, buddy?" He held up his cake. "Hmm, can't exactly toast with cake."

Morgan tapped his plate to Chuck's in salute. "What can I say, Chuck? Nobody beats the Beatles."

I've just seen a face,

I can't forget the time or place

That we'd just met, she's just the girl for me

And I want all the world to see we've met.

Morgan turned to Alex and tried to sing along, but of course he tripped over his own tongue and mangled the words. Chuck did better, singing the last verse to Sarah, but then the DJ hit him with It's The End of the World as We Know It, and he threw in the towel.


"This next song is from Sarah Walker." The spotlight moved over the crowd, but there was no Sarah Walker on the guest list. "Sarah Walker?" The DJ looked at Ellie, who nodded. The speakers started pounding with pounding piano power chords.

Chuck looked at Sarah in surprise. "Sarah?"

"My dad liked it," she admitted.

Waterloo - I was defeated, you won the war

Waterloo - Promise to love you for ever more

Waterloo - Couldn't escape if I wanted to

Waterloo - Knowing my fate is to be with you

Waterloo - Finally facing my Waterloo

Chuck looked unhappy. "I…wasn't aware we were at war."

"Not your war, Chuck," said Sarah, kissing him again. "Just hers." She held him closer as their bodies swayed, completely ignoring the beat.


Again the sound of bells, and the next special was announced. "Aunt Diane."

Casey perked up his ears, looking around for Chuck and Sarah, spotting his boss along the way. Piano music, slow and melodic, spilled from the speakers, and a man started to sing. It sounded like…Elvis.

I give, give you my heart
Today, tomorrow and forever
You'll always be my love

Chuck and Sarah choked on their drinks. As half a dozen people rushed to get the happy couple napkins, Casey found Beckman staring at him. He raised a glass in salute. He didn't need to understand. The dirty looks her victims gave her were more than enough for him.


Chuck was sitting in his chair watching Sarah groove to All She Wants to Do is Dance when Morgan came over. "What's up, buddy?" he asked, not needing to look away from his beautifully gyrating wife to know something was wrong. Well, maybe not wrong, but definitely up.

"I don't know Chuck, you think I might have overdone it with Alex, with that whole Beatles thing?"

The song was coming to a close, that's the only reason Chuck could take his eyes away from the delightful vision, even for Morgan. "Something the matter?"

"I don't know, but ever since then she's been, I don't know, off. I can't explain it. It's like she changed her mind or something. You think she light be wanting to break up?"

The DJ spoke before Chuck could answer. "Alex McHugh." Then the guitar drove whatever he might have wanted to say from his lips. It wasn't a dancing song but somehow Sarah was still managing to dance to it. So was Alex.

Chuck and Morgan just sat in awe.

Tonight tonight, he's gonna get it right

Even losers can get lucky sometimes

All the freaks go on a winning streak

In a perfect world, all the geeks get the girls

Chuck sat blinking when the song ended. "You still want to know what I think, buddy?"

The two ladies advanced on their men.

"We live in a perfect world, don't we, Chuck?"

"We certainly mmmp!" Sarah sat on Chuck's lap as Alex dragged Morgan off to the floor.

"Something romantic!" she called to the DJ.

The poor guy looked for someplace to bang his head. Now they want romantic! He looked over at the bride, just sitting in the groom's lap. Fine. "Here's a little romance from Sarah Bartowski." Soft guitar music fell like flower petals from the speakers.

And I've always lived like this

Keeping at comfortable distance.

And up until now I've sworn to myself

That I'm content with loneliness.

Because none of it was ever worth the risk.

Well you are the only exception.

You are the only exception.

Sarah hummed the last words– "I'm on my way to believing"–when she felt Chuck's fingers move among hers, felt liquid flowing on her face, and she jerked her head back in alarm. "Chuck?"

The DJ looked down at the note of distress in her voice.

Chuck's voice was hoarse. "I promise you, Sarah–I vow–that you will never have any reason to stop believing."

Sarah looked at her husband's face, wiped his tears with her fingers. "Chuck…it's just a song, I already believe."

Chuck shook his head. "Belief isn't a thing, Sarah. It's an action, it's a state of mind, it's a million things and all of them are fragile and delicate and all of them can be killed by a wrong word or a thoughtless gesture and I never want to do that to you."

Sarah put her head up against his. "Chuck, if there's one thing I've learned about you, it's that whatever you set your mind to do you do, usually far beyond anyone's wildest dreams. If you want to never disappoint me, I think–I believe–the stars will fall before it happens."

Her words echoed in silence, the music stopped and everyone standing. The DJ stared down on them, enthralled. Ellie had tears in her eyes.

"I think they heard us," said Chuck.

Morgan started applauding. Soon the whole room was full of cheering. Ellie glared at the DJ, made an imperative gesture.

"Psst, hey buddy," whispered the DJ. "I still got your song to do. You want me to play this?"

It took Chuck a second to remember what he'd written down. Totally not the right song for this moment. "Can you think of something better?"

"Trust me, pal–"

Trust me, Chuck.

"This is what I do." He went back to his microphone. "I, uh, I think we have time for one more song, folks, so let's make it a good one. From Charles Bartowski to his lovely bride." A soft melody flowed from the speakers.

You know I need your love
You've got that hold over me
Long as I've got your love
You know that I'll never leave
When I wanted you to share my life
I had no doubt in my mind
And it's been you woman
Right down the line

I know how much I lean on you
Only you can see
The changes that I've been through
Have left a mark on me
You've been as constant as a Northern Star
The brightest light that shines
It's been you woman right down the line

I just wanna say this is my way
Of tellin' you everything
I could never say before
Yeah this is my way of tellin' you
That every day I'm lovin' you so much more

'Cause you believed in me through my darkest night
Put somethin' better inside of me
You brought me into the light
Threw away all those crazy dreams
I put them all behind
And it was you woman
Right down the line

I just wanna say this is my way of tellin' you everything
I could never say before
Yeah this is my way of tellin' you
Everything I could never say before
Yeah this is my way of tellin' you
That every day I'm lovin' you so much more

If I should doubt myself, if I'm losing ground
I won't turn to someone else
They'd only let me down
When I wanted you to share my life
I had no doubt in my mind
And it's been you woman
Right down the line

Sarah nestled into her husband's arms as the music played. She lifted up his hand, the one with the ring, and started spinning the metal band. "Round and round and round he goes, where he stops–Hey, look at that." She looked into her husband's eyes. "I win again."


A/N2 I have to thank PeterOinNYC for some of the music used here, some really good songs I'd never heard of. For those interested, the songs were

'When You Say Nothing At All', by Roan Keating, as heard in the movie Notting Hill, which is what Chuck would be like if Chuck was a movie. Wall-E is also very Chuck-like.

'Complicated' by Avril Lavigne.

'Woman', by Wolfmother, as heard in Chuck vs. Phase Three.

The Pink Martini version of 'Que Sera Sera' is marvelously creepy.

'I've Just Seen a Face', by the Beatles.

'Waterloo' by ABBA.

'Today, Tomorrow, and Forever', by Elvis Presley.

'All the Geeks Get the Girls', by American HiFi.

"The Only Exception', by Paramore.

'Right Down the Line', by Gerry Rafferty.

I'll be in Massachusetts for Readercon from Thursday to Sunday, so the last episode may take a while to come out.