It's pushing 3am when Raphael finally cracks the door to his room. It's been quiet for the last couple of hours and he takes his own private tour in the darkness, opening one door after another. It's a big place with plenty of open areas. Room to move if there's an attack and at least two weapon caches if you knew what to look for. Not that there's much to fear these days. The Foot had been underground for so long he can't be sure they even exist anymore - except Raph had always trusted his gut, and the Foot had always had the stamina of roaches. Eventually someone would peel away the darkness and find them thick and filthy through the walls. His brothers were right to plan for every possibility.

Mike is snoring away, face down in a tangle of sheets, in a bed so ridiculously big it makes him look small. It's enough to soften Raph's anger, just a little. He's not a kid anymore but somehow Mikey still looks innocent when he's asleep. Raph scowls at himself and the ache in his chest as he looks at his baby brother properly for the first time in years. Hard to deny how much you missed someone when they were right in front of you. This was exactly why he'd avoided the book signing. It had been a stupid moment of weakness and Mikey had sniffed him out quickly.

A glance around makes Raph shake his head wryly. Same disaster zone he remembered, just on a larger scale now that there was cash to burn and more room for all his junk. There are signed and framed comic books on the walls over a desk piled with paperwork and unpacked boxes of notebooks and art supplies. A battered silver laptop with the letters worn off the keys sits in the midst of its paper nest, the blank screen somehow a mysterious portal into his little brother's inner world. Raph closes the lid and runs his fingers over a riot of colour - stickers and postage stamps from every place Mike has managed to travel since gaining his freedom from the underground. Then there's the corkboard spanning an entire wall, covered in pieces of string and sticky notes. The next book, he figures. Still with its guts unravelled, strung up and waiting to be woven together and made whole.

But … he frowns, looks around. It's a new place, he can see there's still stuff to be unpacked … but there's no pictures here, no tokens, no hint of a woman. No scent other than Mike's that he can identify. Raph can't help but wonder why. There had rarely been any girlfriend gossip around Mikey in the tabloids. Why, when he was rich and famous now? Even humans were up for it these days, considering it a common fetish or a kink, and yet Mikey still slept alone. And really, that's when it occurs to him that he doesn't know his little brother at all anymore. He might as well be staring at a stranger. In his headlong sprint away from Leo and Don he'd left Mikey behind as well.

Resentment reared its bitter head. Why did he still feel so damn guilty? He'd made it easier for everyone by leaving, hadn't he? Leo hadn't been forced into an impossible choice and Raph had taken it on the chin, like he always did. Except maybe, deep down, he'd hoped Leo would come after him, knowing at the same time that it would never happen and could never happen - because it would mean that Mikey and Don were alone somewhere without big brother to look out for them. After a while he'd just tried to forget, then maybe he could finally leave it all behind. But Leo hadn't come and it hadn't gotten any easier. Time hadn't healed a damn thing. So what was the point of running for another ten years or more? What was the point of being alone all the time … and forgetting the people who mattered if it hurt no matter how many miles or years you tried to put between you?

Raph tugs the blanket up over the familiar shell and finally retreats from Mikey's room feeling like a thief of sorts. For the first time he wonders. How did Mikey really feel about Leo and Donnie anyway? He'd somehow never thought to ask.

Up some stairs and he's facing thick glass doors to some kind of huge lab area. The security system isn't just for show and he knows he's not getting further tonight without tools and planning. Donnie is no slouch when it comes to protecting his shiny new toys. On the other side he can see the resident genius passed out in a chair surrounded by various monitors, face-rolling a cushion someone had obviously shoved there for him. It's like looking into a zoo enclosure. Donnie had finally found his natural habitat. For a moment he's got an old urge to go in there and poke his sibling until he drags himself off to a real bed ... but no. He really doesn't feel like doing Donnie any favours right now, even if he could get in to smack him over the head. Leo isn't in there with him. So ... what? Trouble in paradise? Or just Donnie doing his usual thing?

He paces outside the glass for a while, his temper returning to it's slow boil. Maybe it's a good thing Donnie's beyond reach for now. The season is pushing everything out of line. It's hard to think straight and he's less and less sure he can control his temper. Trust his brothers to bring back the darkness he'd worked so hard to bury. But even from here he can see the shadows under Donnie's eyes. Grudgingly, he acknowledges the obvious … this can't be easy for him either, right? The childish voice inside damn well hopes it isn't and he stomps it down with contempt, pressing a hand against the cool glass and trying to seek beyond alternating layers of jealousy and betrayal.

For the first time he really asks himself … What if Leo is right? What if Donnie really can fix this? Maybe Don and Leo would always be a thing, but … he can admit it would be nice to skip the debilitating weeks in the year when the season hit. Most years he sweated it out, aching and alone, half-crazed in a temporary den somewhere - like a regularly scheduled trip to hell and back. What if - at the very least, there was a way to make that less painful? It'd be something right? In all the years they'd fought together, how many times had Don saved their asses with his genius? Was he really such a coward that he wouldn't even try?

The thought leaves a sour taste in his mouth, but it's more than that. They don't know. They don't get it - not really.

They'd never had to worry about losing control and what they'd find when the haze finally lifted. When you come back to yourself not knowing who you've hurt. It was one of Raph's most horrifying memories - the day he'd lost it and almost brained Mikey with a pipe. Just thinking about it made his stomach clench with shame and revulsion. He was already jealous of Donnie, hurt and angry at Leo … throwing sex and raging hormones into that mess? They didn't know what they were asking. If he really lost it, would it be him they were locked up with, or the mindless, enraged thing he knew crouched somewhere inside?

Sickened, he leaves Don to his troubled dreams. The stairs continue up, but a few steps and the collar hums ominously against his skin, strong enough to freeze him in his tracks. He'd already had his ass kicked by Donnie's little leash once before. He leaves the stairs for another night and makes his way back down.

There's three doors left. From the scent he knows that one is Donnie's. He takes a quick look but it's fairly sterile compared to the others. Don's room had always taken second place to his lab and this place is too new to have his brother's stamp on it yet. An entire wall built with new, empty bookshelves and a small Himalayan mountain range of boxes that he doesn't doubt is filled with them. A bed that looks barely slept in.

The other room is Leo's. It says something that he can scent him right through the door and sense the warmth of him. It's all he can do not to push slowly into that room, knowing he'll find Leo there, asleep and warm, smelling like everything Raph's ever wanted … but he's not ready. Not yet. And not with Donnie's exhausted face still so fresh in his mind.

The final door. It's different … expensive, heavy timber, carved with an intricate japanese design and the nostalgic scent of incense creeping through the dark wood. Raph moves inside and finds his way to the altar, running gentle fingers over the gnarled staff there. The sadness that hits him is almost suffocating.

Splinter …

Somehow this little altar and its relics hit him harder than the grave … Raph swallows painfully, pressing the wooden picture frame of his father to his forehead, trying to sort through the turmoil.

I don't know what to do anymore. I thought I was runnin' for all the right reasons … but maybe I was just bein' a coward after all. What am I supposed to do?

Splinter is silent but Raph thinks he already knows what their father would say. How could any of this be okay? And yet … his most important lesson had always been to protect each other and stick together.

Raph retreats in the pre-dawn, taking some time to raid the fridge before slinking back to his room before the light begins to slide over Manhattan.

Mikey isn't surprised to wake up and find that Raphael is still in self-imposed exile but it takes the shine off his morning. Day three now and he's pretty sure this has to be the longest silent-treatment in history. At least from Raph, who'd rarely had the patience for anything as icily effective as the cold shoulder. It'd be impressive if it wasn't so incredibly discouraging.

Mike orders up Raph's favourite pizza and a six pack in the evening, only to find the door firmly locked and a stubborn silence when he calls out. All he can do is give up and shrug helplessly at Donnie as he comes down the stairs looking curious.

'Still no luck, huh? Well that's Raph for you. Never could force him to do anything he didn't want to do.' Don observes dryly.

Except isn't that exactly what they were doing? Mikey doesn't bother pointing it out since Don is smart enough to realise the truth and is clearly ignoring it. He offers Donnie a slice instead and sticks his tongue out in the direction of Raph's room. It's enough to bring a wan smile to Don's face as he selects a slice of pepperoni.

Don gives his shoulder a reassuring squeeze. 'We just have to give him time.'

Mike isn't sure it's that simple but pokes at his pizza dispiritedly. All those years waiting for Raph to finally come home and now he's right there, less than twenty feet away, and it didn't make any difference because he'd rather sulk in his room. Okay, so they'd ambushed him, zapped and kidnapped him … but not because they wanted to. Not to hurt him.

He won't even talk to us.

Even Raph couldn't stay angry forever right? Right?

Don takes pity on him, observing quietly. 'It won't be much longer, Mikey. I don't think Raph will have any choice in a few days.' The words 'none of us will' hang unspoken in the air, but Mikey hears them even if Donnie isn't game to say it. The resident genius isn't wrong. Raph may be locked in his room but his scent is all over the apartment now. Mike had woken up with a hard-on so needy it had been painful and he can taste the change in the air … an underlying musk that has him feeling restless and edgy, like his skin is one size two small. Raph's musk. It's compelling in a way that Mikey can't really explain. A primal feeling - an almost irresistible pull and the more he focuses on it, the more warmth begins to pool in his belly and the harder it is to ignore. Suddenly his building frustration with Raph's silent-treatment makes even more sense.

Leo comes in and Mike can't help but notice the eldests' scent has changed too. After ten seasons together Mikey finds it familiar and sexy. It's different to Raph's but carries that same compelling heat to it. The shift is obvious in the way he moves too, the way he settles next to Don and pulls him in for a kiss that's all too willingly given. Mike clears his throat with a wry smile and pushes the pizza box in Leo's direction. Don breaks free with an embarrassed flush as Leo's attention shifts to the food long enough to claim his share.

It's already begun.

Mikey has never been one to sit on the sidelines and watch things play out - not when he knows he can help. Leo's not thinking clearly enough to take the lead on this one and it's obvious that Raph isn't going to make the first move unless he absolutely has to. Don was too scared of the outcome to really break the ice, which left the prettiest girl in town to crash the party.

Sometimes you had to take the bull by the horns. Horn? He shakes his head violently.

Soooooo, how to bait your reclusive, pissed-off, horny Raphael from his den? Well, what had lured him in this close to begin with?

'Why did Raph really come back? Who was this guy he's after?' Mike asks thoughtfully.

Leo looks at Donnie, both of them surprised at his abrupt subject change. 'The kind who kills professionally for the drug cartels and knows how to cover his tracks. I looked into it but either Raph has better contacts or he's got some other way of tracking him, I found no trace.' The eldest told them.

Mike leans across the table. 'You said he's been after this guy for years, right? That's a long time to chase someone. This is important to him. Maybe if we help Raph finish this job, he won't be so pissed about being locked up here for the next few weeks. Sensei always said, you catch more flies with honey, y'know?'

Don blinked at his unfailing logic. 'He's got a point. We never really considered that Raph might be in the middle of something important when we did this.'

Leo folded his arms, irritably. 'What point? We're not talking about a bunch of untrained thugs with knives and chains like the old days, Mikey. This guy kills for a living and you two haven't done more than light training and a run around the rooftops in years.'

Mikey shrugs. 'So? You're still in top shape. You can go with him. Bag the badguy, save the day and come home so we can get the party started. You guys feel it, right? We're running out of time.'

Leo looks away from them both but doesn't deny it. 'I don't think that's a good idea.'

'Why not?' Mike pushes, already knowing the answer.

Leo's look is direct and ticked-off but his words are soft and there's a hint of shame there that has Mikey feeling instantly contrite. 'Because my focus is less than perfect right now and my presence would be nothing but a dangerous distraction.' He frowned. 'I don't know why, but I think having him here is bringing things on faster. I just feel …' He trailed away and didn't need to finish since they all felt it.

Mike sees his opening. 'Then I'll go with him.'

'Absolutely not.' Leo snaps, going sharp again.

Mikey raises a defiant brow, his broad smile and blue eyes dancing with a hint of challenge. Big brother might still hold the weightiest vote but that didn't mean he always got his way.

'I'm not going to do any fighting, bro. I'll just drive the getaway car and keep an eye on him. Donnie can back us up remotely from the lab and we'd be in contact the whole time. Raph's been doing this a long time, right? I'm pretty sure he can handle it himself but someone has to go with him - unless you're willing to trust he won't bug-out on us as soon as we slip the collar.'

Don looks aside at Leo. 'But can we trust him?'

Leo shakes his head briefly, his eyes on the table, a frown creasing his brow. 'I asked him. He was honest even if it wasn't what I wanted to hear.' He sighed finally, looking up. 'I don't like this … but I'll talk to him.'

'No. I'll talk to him,' Mike insists with a winning smile. 'You guys aren't making any headway. Just sit back and let me work, boys.' Leo opens his mouth to argue and Mike interrupts him before he can get started. 'You had your turn, Leo.' His smile faded. 'Sides … we don't want to let this go until Raph has no choice, bro. We can't afford to screw this up again.' Not more than we already have.

Don breaks the stalemate when he suddenly shrugs. 'Fine, but none of this is going anywhere useful if I can't get some samples to analyse soon. From all of us. I want you guys in my lab by noon.' He looks dubiously at Mikey. 'Twenty bucks says you can't get him out of his room. Double or nothing you manage bloodwork.'

Mike winces at the odds on that but he's probably got the best chance out of all of them at making it happen and this time not even Leo has a better plan. So when the eldest says nothing and only nods reluctantly, Mike flashes them a confident grin.

'Deal.' Challenge accepted.