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Sworn to Darkness

CHAPTER III

"Let me see him!" Padmé cried as soon as the doors closed behind the Obi-Wan.

She was standing outside of Anakin's medical room and prison cell. She had not moved from that spot since they arrived here five days ago. Even through the surgeries, even when they were operating on Anakin, completing disturbing and gruesome procedures, even when Obi-Wan told Padmé not to watch, she had not taken her eyes off of him. She had not slept. She had not eaten. She could do nothing but stand there, desperate and terrified, her eyes transfixed on her dying husband, as she wondered if they could save his life. As she wondered if they could save his soul.

Yoda and Organa were presently beside her. They had gathered outside the cell to watch Obi-Wan's confrontation with Anakin. From the inside of that room, all four walls appeared to be made of stone. It was, however, an illusion. From the outside, one could see the reality of it: only three walls were stone and the fourth was, in fact, a thick window of sound-proof, blaster-proof glass. (They could hear everything that was being said inside that cell, because of the speaker outside the room and the monitors beside Anakin's bed.) Looking through the glass now, they watched Anakin strain against the cords and cuffs holding him down and make yet another attempt to get away, in result only putting himself in more pain.

Obi-Wan sighed and braced himself for a fight as approached the others and raised his eyes face Padmé. The young woman—former queen, former senator (there was no senate now), former wife of a Jedi, current wife of a Sith, and future mother of his child—stood rigidly before him. Her hands were clenched in fists by her sides. Her eyes were like fire: in the turmoil of her desperation, confusion, anger, and devastation, her heart started to burn and caught flame. Meeting her gaze, Obi-Wan knew she was ready for a fight as well.

However, despite her spiritual strength, she was physically weak. She did not look well. Her eyes were dark in exhaustion, and her pretty face had not a trace of makeup left upon it. Her long brown hair fell in slightly tousled waves down her back, untouched since Mustafar. She wore a white gown, similar to the one Anakin was wearing now, and her pregnant stomach was unmistakable beneath it, swollen and protruding. Her nine months were almost complete now. Within weeks, the baby would be born. Yet, despite all of this, Padmé was no less beautiful.

Obi-Wan glanced at Yoda. The two of them were the only Jedi left, as Palpatine had betrayed and murdered the others… Anakin had killed most them himself. Yoda met Obi-Wan's eyes for a moment and looked away without a word. He had nothing to say. Organa did not speak either. Yet, all of them had come to same grim understanding. Obi-Wan sighed as he turned and looked at Padmé.

"It is too dangerous, Padmé," he answered with a heavy heart. "Anakin is still weak, but his strength is returning to him. He is powerful, and he is reckless. If you go in that room now, you endanger yourself and your baby."

"Anakin won't hurt me, Obi-Wan," Padmé declared with certainty, looking straight into Obi-Wan's eyes, almost aggressively. Her voice was firm. Strong. Fearless.

Obi-Wan was not convinced. He crossed his arms over his chest and replied coldly, "On Mustafar, Anakin used the Force to choke you."

"That was different!" Padmé cried out in protest, desperate and angry. "He was not trying to hurt me; he just got angry—"

"He is angry now, Padmé! He is more hatful now than he has ever been, more dangerous. When I was in that room, I could feel him trying to use the Force to choke me. If he was a little stronger, he would have." A cold gravity befell Obi-Wan's face, and his voice became like ice. "Already Anakin is very strong with the Dark Side."

Padmé stared at Obi-Wan, her emotions conflicting inside of her. Her immediate impulse was to defend Anakin, to tell Obi-Wan that he was wrong, to refuse to believe these things that she knew, in her heart, were true. No words came to her. She did not know what to say. Or to believe. Her eyes were very red now, and she was in danger of crying all over again. She looked away from Obi-Wan and fixed her gaze on Anakin once more. He was cringing as he weakly struggled against the restrains. He was in a lot of pain.

Padmé shook her head. Without a glance at Obi-Wan, she spoke in a trembling voice no stronger than a whisper, "Anakin won't hurt me." Perhaps, she was still in denial.

Obi-Wan turned his head and looked through the glass as well. Anakin was suffering. It was painful just to see him in such agony. Obi-Wan turned over his shoulder and quietly told one of the medical droids to sedate Anakin… before he ended up killing himself. He answered Padmé softly, "Even if he does not do it on purpose, he could get angry and hurt you or the child without meaning to."

Padmé did not answer. She did not know what to say. She watched the droid enter Anakin's cell. Without a word, he crossed the room—Anakin shouted threats at him, but the droid ignored him—and adjusted the controls on the machines beside his bed. A gush of drugs entered Anakin's body, and, within seconds, the sedatives began to pull him under. The droid left as Anakin fell unconscious.

Padmé swallowed with difficulty. She opened her lips, and a trembling breath fell through them. She struggled to keep her voice even. She struggled to hold back tears. "I want to be there when he wakes up."

Obi-Wan, Organa, and Yoda turned their heads simultaneously and looked at Padmé, all of them thinking the same thing but all of them hating to be the one to have to say it. Feeling obliged, as he was by far the closest to both Anakin and Padmé, Obi-Wan spoke up, "We cannot allow that. Padmé, I forbid it."

"That is not your right to forbid, Obi-Wan!" Padmé snapped without warning. She turned abruptly—almost as if ready fight him—to Obi-Wan. Challenging him, glaring at him, she looked him in the eye. "I am not asking you; I am telling you! I am going to see Anakin!"

At this point, Obi-Wan neither wanted to argue with Padmé nor knew what to say to her. So Yoda, who was older, and wiser, and stronger, and less companionate, spared him the burden. "See him through the glass you can," he intervened. His words were blunt and merciless, each of them like a bullet going straight into Padmé's already-broken heart.

Padmé was in severe danger of weeping now. Her eyes were already filled with tears, and she was doing everything in her power to fight them back and prevent them from falling. She knew she was fighting a losing battle. Nonetheless, trying to be strong, she met Yoda's pitiless gaze. "This is my choice," she stated firmly. "Anakin is my husband and the father of my child. I should be able to decide what happens to us."

"Impossible," Organa objected, shaking his head.

"Your husband Skywalker may be," Yoda immediately refuted Padmé as well, "but our prisoner he is. And a traitor, and a murder, and a Sith."

That was enough to break whatever was left of Padmé's heart. She opened her lips in attempt to say something, but she could not. Immediately her throat contracted into a knot, as if Anakin was choking her with the Force all over again, and she was unable to speak. Instead, a muffled choking noise—a sob which she tried to stifle—emitted from the back of her throat. Tears spilt out of her eyes and flowed in slow streams down her cheeks.

"It is because you are so close to him that we cannot include your vote in this matter," Organa explained to Padmé, trying to make her understand. "Your love for him impairs your judgment." There was more compassion, more gentleness, in him than there was in Yoda. His words did not sting quiet as bad. But they still hurt.

"If anyone else this traitor was," Yoda said in brutal honesty, "want him executed you would as well."

The truth had never hurt so terribly.

"Executed!" Padmé exclaimed. A blade of terror pierced her in the heart. She stared at Yoda and Organa in horror, waiting for one of them to deny what she feared—what she knew—Yoda was suggesting. When they said nothing, Padmé's wide, teary gaze darted to Obi-Wan.

He was not looking at her. He was staring at Yoda and Organa as well. There was a glint of alarm in his eyes, but he managed to conceal most of his fear. "That is enough, Master Yoda," he boldly spoke out against his own master. What was even more astonishing: Yoda obeyed. It seemed now—now when there were only two Jedi, only two senators defiantly on their side, and no Republic—there were no ranks amongst the survivors.

"When all of this is sorted out, Anakin will receive a fair trial, just like any other member of the Council would. You have no need and no right to speak of execution now, Yoda," Obi-Wan said with firm authority. Then, he glanced quickly at Padmé, who sighed heavy in relief and gratitude.

Fresh tears spilled down her cheeks as she met his gaze and silently thanked him with everything she had left in her soul. At this moment, she could have fell to her knees before him and kissed the hymn of his robe, a servant to her king. Instead, she could only look into his eyes and hope he understood.

"No more is the Council, young Master Kenobi," Yoda answered gravely, unmoved by Obi-Wan's protest. "At war we are. Means and time for a trial there is not. If return to the Light Anakin—or shall I say, Darth Vader—"

Those words—that name—pierced both Padmé and Obi-Wan like the bitter and brutal blade of winter. Like an icy gust of wind, it went straight through them, hitting their skin and burning it like fire, freezing their flesh, chilling their blood, penetrating them to the very bone, until their skeletons trembled. Painful tremors tore through their bodies. Their hearts lurched as shards of ice grew inside of them.

Darth Vader. Who was this man, this Sith, called Darth Vader? Padmé did not know him. Obi-Wan did not know him. Darth Vader was a stranger. A murderer. A monster. This man—this devil—that had come and conquered Anakin. Vader had destroyed him. Killed him.

No! Anakin was not dead. Not yet. He had fallen; he was wounded. But he was not dead. He was not gone. Not yet. They could still save him. There was still goodness in him.

"—will not, no other option will there be but to—"

"Anakin will return to the Light!" Padmé interrupted before Yoda could finish, before he could deliver another blow like a bullet to her bleeding heart. Before he could speak of putting Anakin to death.

Yoda shook his head. "Impossible it is. Deranged by the Dark Side Skywalker is. Once a Jedi turns to the Dark Side, return from it he cannot. Too late it is already."

"I don't believe that," objected Padmé. She refused to believe it. In desperation, she turned to Obi-Wan, who alone, it seemed, was on her side. "Obi-Wan, please!" she frantically pleaded. "Please, just let me see him; let me talk to him; I can convince him to come back to the Good Side, I know it! Just let me see him!" Tears rolled down her red cheeks as she stood helplessly before these men and begged them to let her see her husband… before it was too late. She looked into Obi-Wan's eyes once more before she said in a broken whisper, "Please…"

Obi-Wan did not answer right away. He continued to look into Padmé's grieving eyes for a long moment. He dropped his gaze and let out a weighty sigh. Then he looked up at Yoda and Organa. Without words, they understood what was being asked. Were they to let Padmé into that room to see Anakin? Were the great and terrible risks worth the possible and unlikely success?

Before, Obi-Wan did not think so, but now… Now, he saw the whole truth for what it was. If they did not convince Anakin to renounce the Dark Side and return to the Light, he would be executed for sure. Anakin was too dangerous and too powerful to be kept alive. They could give him a fair trial, but what was the sense? All of them already knew what the verdict would be. Unless they could convert him, they would have to kill him. Obi-Wan would have to kill his own brother. He could not let that happen. Somehow, they would have to convert Anakin. That was the only option. And Padmé, he realized, was the only way.

If they were going to vote, Obi-Wan would vote yes. Despite the dangers.

"Extremely dangerous it would be," Yoda finally spoke. However, despite his warning, it seemed he too was considering taking that chance.

"And if something is to happen to the baby," Organa added, just as hesitant to agree, "all hope for the Galaxy may be lost. Master Kenobi and Master Yoda are the only Jedi left, and they may not outlive the Empire. It could be generations before there is strength enough to bring down Palpatine and his armies. And if this is so, Skywalker's child will be the last Jedi… the last hope."

Obi-Wan shook his head in protest… even though he knew Organa's words to be true. "We will be right here, watching from outside the room," he pointed out. "If Padmé or her child are endangered at any time, we will intervene before any harm comes to them." Organa nodded in agreement and reassurance, and Obi-Wan turned to him and added, "Besides, Padmé was a member of the Senate, same as you, Organa. She should have a say in this matter as well." …In contradiction to everything Yoda and Organa had said and Obi-Wan had agreed with just a few minutes ago.

"Anakin won't hurt me," Padmé, who had gotten ahold of herself enough to hold back her tears and speak without breaking down all over again, said. Just as she had before, he said this with uttermost certainty. "He only listened to Palpatine in the first place, because he was trying to protect me and our baby. He won't do anything to hurt us. He loves us."

Obi-Wan nodded, satisfied with this very genuine point and more than ready to agree with Padmé. "Padmé may be our only hope," he said, countering Organa, who believed her child to be the only hope. "Anakin loves her more than anything else in the galaxy, to the point that he was willing to sell his soul to darkness for the possibility of saving her. If anyone can convince him to return to Light, it is her."

"And Anakin is very strong," Padmé anxiously joined in. "With his help, maybe we can still beat Palpatine."

At last, Yoda nodded. Reluctantly but nonetheless, he said, "I agree." Padmé and Obi-Wan tried not to make it too obvious when they simultaneously sighed in relief.

"She should be there when he wakes," Organa said, agreeing with Padmé. "There will be less time for his anger to grow."

Obi-Wan nodded. "I agree. Anakin was given only a small dosage this time. He will likely be awake within the next half hour. Padmé should go in now." The others agreed. Obi-Wan turned to Padmé and met her eyes. "Come with me."

She followed him a short distance to the door of Anakin's cell, and she expected him to open it for her to enter. Instead, he muttered in a low voice, "You did not tell me that you and Anakin had been married."

Padmé did not answer. She glanced at Obi-Wan out of the corner of her eye and found that he was already staring at her, waiting for an explanation. "Of course, I didn't," she muttered uncomfortably. "I did not want the Council to expel him…" She trailed off. She knew it was a poor excuse. Even after Obi-Wan told her that he knew Anakin was father of her child—which would defiantly get him expelled, which was even more likely to get him expelled if they were not married—she did not tell him. She did not tell him, because she did not know if she could trust him.

Obi-Wan sighed. He glanced over his shoulder to make sure the others were not listening. Then he turned back to Padmé and stepped closer to her. "Padmé…" he began in a whisper.

She stiffened as he got closer and grudgingly looked up into his eyes. "Yes?" She stared at him nervously, waiting of him to speak, not knowing what to expect.

"Did you know about the dreams Anakin was having?" he asked quietly.

"I…" She hesitated. She sighed and looked away. "…Yes."

"Why didn't you tell me?" There was no anger or accusation in his voice, but, nonetheless, Padmé felt as if he blamed her for this.

"Because…" she stammered a moment. She looked up suddenly into his eyes and burst out, "Because I don't know who I can trust anymore, Obi-Wan! How am I supposed to know who I can trust? The Chancellor betrayed the Senate, Anakin betrayed the Jedi, the Jedi betrayed Anakin, you cut off his legs, and I— I don't know who to trust! I don't know what to believe!"

"Padmé," Obi-Wan said gently. To her astonishment, he was not angry with her. He was not even disappointed in her. "I understand. And I do not blame you." How could he? Padmé's own husband had turned on her. The man she loved and trusted most of all had betrayed her. How, then, could she trust anyone? "I know it is hard, and you do not know who you can trust, but I swear to you…" Obi-Wan looked into her eyes and promised, "you can trust me. I am on your side. And Anakin's."

Padmé hesitated. She did not know who she could trust, or who she could believe, or what she should think, or what she should do… But looking into his eyes now, she trusted Obi-Wan. Slowly… she nodded. She agreed to trust this man.

Obi-Wan returned the nod, and his heart sighed in relief. A few moments later, Padmé realized she was relieved too. She was no longer on her own. She had Obi-Wan on her side. She could trust him, she realized now with confidence. Of course, she could trust him. He loved Anakin too. He and Anakin were brothers. Obi-Wan, too, had been betrayed by his family. He too was devastated. He, alone, understood what Padmé was going through now.

"This is not over yet, Padmé," Obi-Wan assured her. "There is still hope for Anakin, despite what Yoda thinks. I knew him best of all—far better than Yoda—and I believe he will turn from the Dark Side. There is still light in him Padmé, I know it."

"I know it too," Padmé asserted. "He is a good person, Obi-Wan, he's just… he's just…" Her voice faded to a whisper. "…gotten lost…"

Obi-Wan nodded. He knew very well this was true. Anakin was lost. Deceived and mislead, he strayed from the path of the light, and now he wandered hopelessly in darkness. Padmé alone was a northern star that could still reach him and give him direction. "Anakin is lost," he agreed solemnly. "And you might be the only one who can help him find his way."

Padmé swallowed her anxiety. Terrible pressure was suddenly weighing down on her, suffocating her. She knew Obi-Wan was right. She was Anakin's last hope. If she succeeded, maybe she could save him. But if she failed… She did not even want to think about what would happen if she failed.

She gathered her courage. She nodded.

"Padmé," said Obi Wan with confidence. "You can do this."

She nodded again, but she was no less uncertain, no less afraid, than before.

Then Obi-Wan turned to open Anakin's cell.