When personal feelings interact with job
When she woke up that morning, she felt still tired. She turned the alarm off and rested in bed. She breathed heavily. This Conor case affected her more than she thought. Every case involving kids affected her more than she thought.
"You need to move your ass, Olivia, and go over this. Your file for adoption was rejected, you have no man in your life…maybe it's your destiny. Maybe you're not meant to be a mother. Just a cop. Who helps victims. Yeah, that's it! I'm a cop who helps victims. Who could say that? I'm here for others, I'm here for kids of other mothers… Yeah, move your ass, Olivia, get out of this bed, and prepare yourself for a new day as a cop-who-helps-victims.
She jumped in the shower, chose her clothes and went to the precinct.
She entered the office with a big "Good morning guys!" that surprised other cops. Some answered back, some just smiled. Fin was already there.
Fin: Hey Liv! 'morning! What's up?
Olivia: I'm a cop who helps victims!
Fin: ….mmmhhh Yeah…what's new in this?
Olivia: Nothing! I just got up this morning with this idea! I'm a cop who helps victims!
Fin: Wow…baby girl, what did you do last night?
Olivia: Well, let me remind me….I went to bed!
Fin: Alone?
Olivia: Fin! Of course alone! I'm a cop who helps victims, I've no time for flirting around!
Fin: Ok, just shut up, Liv, or I call Huang.
Munch: Good morning dear colleagues! What's new in the world this morning? Did the government confess there are files about every citizen in this country?
Olivia: You know they'll never confess that, John!
Fin: Olivia! Don't invite him going on this subject, please!
Kathy entered the room quickly, Eli in her arms.
Kathy: Good morning everybody, does someone know where Elliot is?
Olivia: 'morn…'xcuse me?
Kathy: He didn't come back home last night. He said he had a lot of paperwork to fill in and that he would be right on time this morning for the appointment with the doctor for Eli!
Olivia: He's sick?
Kathy: No, he's fine, it's just a routine control. Where's Elliot? We'll be late!
Olivia: Wait a minute, I'll check in the crib.
She ran upstairs, opened the door as quiet as possible.
Olivia: He's in here! I wake him up.
She entered the room and went near Elliot. She put her hand and his arm and tried to shake him up. He was fully asleep. She shook him harder.
Olivia: Elliot! El! El, wake up! Kathy's here waiting for you!
Elliot jumped
Elliot: What! What's going on?
Olivia: El, it's nine already, Kathy's here, and she's waiting for you!
Elliot: Oh God! Eli's appointment!
Olivia: Exactly!
Elliot: Thank you Liv.
He rubbed his face with his hands.
Olivia: Are you alright?
He took a deep breathe, looked at her. She was beautiful. He liked the way she put make up her brown eyes. Just a little make up to reveal all the intensity of her gaze. Her hair was free. He liked that. She was wearing a brown shirt and a white top that matched completely her eyes. Her necklaces were melted as usual. She was wearing jeans and small heels that show when she was walking that she was not only a cop, but a woman with curves of a woman. A real woman. A gorgeous one.
Olivia: Elliot? You alright?
Elliot: Yeah…yeah I'm fine thanks. I just needed time….
Olivia: To wake up, I saw that. Well, hurry up, now!
Elliot: Yeah, you're right.
He stood and looked at her.
Elliot: Thank you Liv.
Olivia smiled at him and left.
Elliot took few seconds more before coming downstairs.
Kathy: Elliot!
Elliot: Yeah, Kathy I know I'm sorry…really I am! Do I have enough time to shower?
Kathy: Nope! You'll do that after, please hurry!
They left.
Few minutes driving later, they were waiting in a room full of mothers and kids. Some were quiet, some were crying, others were coloring papers. Kathy tried to give occupation to her son, she had brought some toys for him.
Elliot looked at a mother with her daughter. She was brown hair, quite tall, and she was obviously crazy about her daughter. She laughed when her daughter played with her.
*Flashback*
Cragen came to his detectives.
Cragen: What's going on here? Who's she? His lawyer?
Elliot: No, Cap, she's…
Olivia: His best friend. We could not obtain a thing from this guy and they are really close so we…I… thought maybe she could help!
Elliot noticed she changed the "we" in "I". "Don't protect me Liv", he thought.
Cragen: You know it's not legal! Did it work?
Olivia: Well, in some way, yes….I'm sure he's innocent, Cap, but…..How a man could be innocent and guilty in the same time?
Cragen: Because we missed something! I trust you Olivia, and if you are sure of you, do your best to prove he's innocent.
Elliot: Ok, but what do we do now?
Cragen: We have no other choice than keeping him behind bars for the moment. Work as fast as possible. If he's really innocent there's no need for him to experience jail.
He left
Olivia opened the door and asked Gillian to come out. Gillian hugged Conor, and exited.
Gillian: I'm sure he's innocent.
Olivia: I agree.
Gillian: He can be released then?
Olivia: We can't.
Gillian: Why?
Olivia: Because as crazy as it sounds, we have to prove he's innocent. We'll do our best for that, be sure.
Gillian: Ok… I'll come back tomorrow.
Olivia: Ok. Thanks for coming.
Gillian left the two detectives. Olivia looked at Elliot:
Olivia: What do we do now?
Elliot: Liv,…I don't know. We have to think fast. The only solid point we have is the testimony of his best friend. It will never be enough in trial.
Olivia: Let's read again the testimony of the victim, and his. Maybe we'll finally find a different point that would lead somewhere.
Elliot: Yeah, ok… Could you do that first? I'd like to talk to him. Alone. From man to man.
Olivia: El….
Elliot: I promise I won't hit him. I … There's something I don't understand, I just want to talk. I'll turn the micro off.
Olivia: Ok, but I'll come back in ten minutes to check if he's still alive!
Elliot smiled: "Deal!"
She smiled back and left him. He entered the room.
Conor: What? I told you everything!
Elliot: I know! I just have some questions!
Conor: What about?
Elliot: Gillian.
Conor: No, we don't date, she's my best friend, yes, I'm the father of her wonderful girls, but no, we didn't sleep together!
Elliot: Wow…
Conor: I'm used to say the same thing every time we meet people asking about us.
Elliot: No, it's ok, she told us how you met. Incredible, your story, man!
Conor: What! Now you think she lied to you?
Elliot: No, nope! I…I'm just impressed, that's all!
Conor: What's impressive? The fact I offered to be the father of her kids without touching her? You know what's impressive? Gillian! She is the only one who trusted me at first sight. She is the only one who gave me a chance to act as a man and not as the jerk I was used to be. She is the only one who can yell at me without hating me. She just took me as I am. She made me a better man. She made me realize I could be a good man. She knows me by heart. I can't lie to her. That's impossible, she can read my face, my eyes. She can tell you how I feel just listening to my voice. She means everything for me! She's my world!
Elliot: and you don't date?
Conor: Noooo! How could I explain you? I'd never….How long have you been working with your partner?
Elliot: …. More than ten years now…. What does this have to do with you?
Conor: You partner's gorgeous too, but she's your partner, did you two have ever had sex?
Elliot: ….. No! I'm married!
Conor: And is it the only thing that keeps you….
Elliot: Wait! Stop! We are not talking about Olivia and I, I just wanted to know how a man could give his sperm to his best friend without wanting sex with her?
Conor: Oh…I see! That's because you want your partner in bed, so you don't unders….
Conor could not finish his words. Elliot gripped his shirt and pushed him against the wall.
Conor: Ooohh…did I strike a nerve?
Elliot released his grip and let Conor go.
Elliot: I'm sorry. I had to be sure you were not lying to Gillian and to us.
Conor: Yeah, let's pretend that!
With these words Elliot left the room.
Elliot walked straight to his desk.
Olivia: Hey, you finished before I could check on Conor's life! Do I need to?
Elliot looked at her but answered nothing. He took his coat and passed the doors.
Olivia ran after him.
Olivia: Hey! El! What's going on?
She caught his arm and he turned to her.
Elliot: I'm fine Liv, I need time to think.
Olivia: about what?
Elliot: This….this case…I… Just let me some time alone, would you?
Olivia: Okay…
He entered the elevator.
*End of flashback*
Kathy: Elliot!
Elliot jumped at the touch of his wife.
Elliot: Sorry, Kath, I was lost in my thoughts.
Kathy: The doctor's waiting for us.
They entered the doctor's office. The walls were full of drawings. Different kids, different ages. All were colorful. Some kids drew animals, others some forms not really clear but cute, some drew their family. He had some drawings like this at his desk. Before. When his kids were younger. He remembered when his kids gave them to him. Every time it was the best present ever. He was so proud, he used to show them to Olivia. She used to smile, always. She used to always look at them with interest, making comments about some drawings. He understood Conor now. He felt so selfish by this moment. He needed to talk to Olivia. He wanted to help her. But how? Could he really help her? Did she really want to experience pregnancy alone? Well, she wouldn't be as alone as he thought first. Everybody at work would help her, support her. If one day Olivia had a baby, it would be the baby of the unit. With Grand Daddy Don, Uncles Fin and Munch… Uncle Elliot… Uncle Elliot or Daddy Elliot? Would he be ready to give his sperm to Olivia so that she could be the mother she had to be? Would he be ready for that? Would she accept? What would think Kathy? Should he talk about it to his wife?
Doctor: you have a big boy, you can be proud. He's really in a good health, keep going like this!
Kathy: Thank you, doctor.
Elliot: yeah…Thank you.
Elliot took his son in his arms and they left.
Kathy: Elliot, I know you are not the kind of guy who speaks about his job, but you have been so distant since this morning…
Elliot: I'm sorry, Kathy. I… There are some things going on in my mind.
Kathy: Want to talk about it?
Elliot: No….
Kathy: yeah…of course.
Elliot: Listen Kathy…I… there is something I'd like to talk about but…I'm confused now…
Kathy: Ok… see you tonight?
Elliot: Maybe…I'll call you later.
Kathy: Ok…
He left her and hailed a cab to come back at work.
