"I don't know Duane Lee. I don't want to leave the office because I love you guys but I'm not sure I could cope with seeing him day after day. I feel like I've been torn apart and my world is in bits. I haven't just lost him but I've potentially lost my job, my best friends and my fucking family! It wasn't enough that he stopped loving me; he had to destroy my life! I HATE HIM!" I was sobbing again and it scared me how deeply he had cut me. I hadn't realized that my whole life was built around him and now he was gone.

"You haven't lost us Jaime. We're all still here. I could give you my office at work so that you wouldn't have to see him constantly and then you could stay with us. We can make this work." Duane Lee was trying to reassure her but he knew that she would have to talk to Leland before any of this would work. The tension between them would be unbearable if they didn't at least reach some sort of trust. "You do need to talk to him though Jaime. I don't mean right now but before you come back to work otherwise it will be too much for you both."

I knew he was right but I couldn't cope right then. It was all too fresh and seeing him felt like I was being stabbed in the stomach with a hot blade. I took the cowards way out and slipped out of the back door. I needed some space first to pull myself together and if I'm completely honest I wanted him to suffer some more.

Baby Lyssa and Duane Lee went back to family to explain that I'd took off and to deliver my message. "She said that she needed some space and that she'll be back when she's got her head around all of this. She's cut up pretty bad right now and didn't think she could face seeing him. She said that she'll talk to him when she gets back and I offered her my office if she wants it. She thinks she's losing all of us and her job over this." Duane Lee spoke to Beth, Dog and Tim rather than Leland. He was still angry with his brother.

Things went on as usual but the office seemed empty without her. Leland never laughed or smiled and he looked awful. His tan had started to fade, his hair had grown too long and he rarely shaved. All the life had left his eyes; it was like he didn't care about anything anymore. He faked happiness when he spoke to his boys but luckily he hadn't been over to Kona for a few weeks so they hadn't seen the physical effects this had taken on him. He hadn't told them about the break up properly and had simply said that him and Jaime were on a break for a while. It was like he thought if he didn't admit it then it wasn't real.

3 weeks past and nobody had heard from Jaime. She'd e-mailed a few days after that night in the bar to say she was going to visit her family but that was it. She hadn't even contacted Duane Lee or Baby Lyssa until now. Duane Lee was in the car park when her car pulled in. He was at her door in a flash. He pulled it open and dragged her from the car to wrap his arms around her.

"Where have you been darling? We've missed you round here!" He swung her round a few times and then set her feet on the floor and looked at her. She had lost some weight but she didn't look ill like Leland did. Her hair was electric blue underneath now and she wore it scraped back from her face in a high pony. She had on a pair of denim hot pants and a white tank top. Her feet were bare. She looked good even though her eyes didn't have their usual sparkle.

"I didn't mean to worry you. I just needed to clear my head. Is he here?" I wasn't sure if I was ready for the answer but I had to be. I couldn't put it off anymore; if I wasn't ready by now then I never would be.

"Yeah. I'll go get him. Just don't take off again." Duane Lee ran inside and straight over to Leland's desk. Leland didn't even look up at him. "Jaime is outside and she wants to talk to you." Leland looked up then and he had tears shining in his eyes. He took off running and Duane Lee barely even saw him move he was that fast.

He sprinted out the door and straight to me. He tried to hug me but I took a step back. If he'd touched me right then I might have cracked and I needed to talk to him. "We need to talk Leland." I knew my voice was cold but I couldn't help it. It still hurt even after all those weeks. I still loved this guy and most of all I had trusted him.

He looked hurt but he didn't try to touch me again. "I'm so sorry Jaime. I honestly don't know what I was thinking. I didn't even like her and that's what has been killing me. I didn't sleep with her though babe and I need you to know that. I don't know if it makes a difference but I thought you should know. It was a mistake and if I could take it back I would." He was rambling and I could see the tears in his eyes. He was fighting them but he was going to lose it soon.

"I know Leland. I know everything you said is true but right now it still hurts way too much. I'm not here to get back with you. I'm not ready for that right now. I'm not saying never but I can't do that right now. I need us to be friends again before I can even think about giving us a second chance. I need to learn to trust you again." I put my hand on his shoulder and my hand started to burn. The physical attraction was definitely still there. "You look like shit by the way."

He laughed then and it was my turn to fight the tears now. I had missed him so much and now he was right in front of me and I had to fight the urge to throw myself into his arms. I still loved him completely but I didn't trust him. "Thanks for the compliment! Are you coming in? There's a pile of website shit that we haven't had a chance to look at. Duane Lee tried but he was messing up your weird filing system so I made him stop." He smiled sheepishly at me. Nobody else would have noticed that I had my own personal filing system. He knew me better than I knew myself sometimes.

"Yeah, I'm coming in." We headed in the back door and everyone was there greeting us and hugging me. "And since he messed up my system then Duane Lee can help you move my cabinets into his office and cart all of his shit out." Everyone was laughing as I started pushing Duane Lee towards the cabinets. He wasn't fighting too hard. I think they were all just glad to know I was safe. I felt bad for not getting in touch but I needed a clean break from everything and everyone.

"It's good to have you back Princess." Dog gave me a one armed hug and I felt a lump growing in my throat. I hadn't realized how much I'd missed them all. These people were my family. "You're back on a good day anyway. We're going after a 19 year old boy and we could use a little fox like you as bait!" Dog was laughing but Leland and Beth looked horrified.

"Big Daddy you can't throw the girl in the deep end like that. She's barely even walked through the door." Beth was genuinely shocked. They had never even considered using me before and nothing had changed as far as she was concerned.

"She's family and she looks damn fine today. The guy will think he's died and gone to heaven when she rocks up and plays the damsel in distress. She can knock at his door and tell him she's got a flat and can he help. Bat her eyelashes, she's already flashing those legs. He'll be putty in her hands. She walks to a car where Duane Lee and Leland will be ready to jump out as soon she she gets close. Blam! He's done." He looked at me and I nodded. I'd wanted to be involved in a hunt for months but Leland wouldn't let me and now it wasn't his choice. I was excited about it; this was my dream.

"There's two problems. One, She won't be able to have a vest on which is extremely dangerous. Two, if this bastard puts a finger on her I won't be able to stop myself from kicking his ass." He looked at me and shrugged. "I know we aren't together anymore but I can't change how I feel and I know that I would kill any man who tried touching you like that."

"OK, the vest might be an issue but I trust you two guys to look after me. He's not going to shoot the damsel in distress. As for him touching me that's not a problem either. If he touches me then I can finally find a use for those lessons you gave me Lee. See? My 5 weeks of nagging you to teach me to box was worth it." I treated him to a genuine smile that reached actually reached my eyes. It gave me butterflies to know he still cared so much even though I knew that that was dangerous.

Everyone laughed and the tension that was filling the room moments before simply vanished. It was beginning to feel like I'd never left and that felt amazing but it was scary too. I loved the fact that they had accepted me back completely but it was scary because I was falling back into a pattern that hadn't worked. It had been like this when Leland went with that girl so obviously this didn't work. I gave myself a mental shake to stop my train of thought. I couldn't go through all of that again.

I was sat next to Leland in his Hummer on the way to this guys house. His name was Carlos and he was wanted for possession of drugs. I had studied his picture while everyone got ready. I was looking forward to this but I was also looking forward to being alone with Leland. No matter how much I told myself that I was just his friend I couldn't deny the chemistry between us and I wanted to talk to him when I knew he couldn't run away when the conversation got tough. "Can I ask you a question Lee?"

He looked at me for a split second before giving his full attention to the highway in front of us. We were alone in the car and I knew he was nervous about that. "Sure."

"Why did you do it? And don't give me that bullshit about drinking too much because I've seen you drink and that's not the reason." I knew that the answer to this one question could crush me but I needed to know for my own peace of mind. "What did I do wrong?"

"It wasn't you Jaime. I loved you; I still love you. I guess I felt trapped. It was like I was swapping one wife for another one and it scared me. I wasn't scared about sharing my life with you. I was scared about doing that and then having you hurt me again. I thought that if I went out and had some fun then maybe I'd suddenly realize that I could live without you. Only it didn't work like that and all I could think about was you and how much I was hurting you. I know it sounds lame but it's the only explanation I have. I was fucking stupid and thats the top and bottom of it." He sounded dejected. It was almost like he'd given up or he thought I'd given up on us.

"It has to be me Leland. On some level it has to be. I was with Kevin for 12 years and he cheated. I was with you for 6 months and you kind of cheated. It seems like I'm never enough and that scares me. What is wrong with me?" I felt a single tear run down my face and I swiped at it angrily. I had cried too many tears over men; I refused to cry any more.

"Jaime, you have to believe me when I tell you that this had nothing to do with you. You are perfect and I'm a fool. Kind of cheated?" He suddenly sounded so confused that it made me laugh. I was wondering when he was going to pick up on that.

"You didn't cheat Lee. You were an idiot and you kissed that skank but it's not like what Kevin did. If it was I wouldn't be here now. I can work on forgiving what you did and hopefully one day learn to trust you again." I patted his leg and he smiled at me. "I'm not willing to lose you over some tramp and a temporary loss of sanity."