Title: KHR React!
Summary: One day, Reborn finds a site called, 'fanfiction(dot)net', the heaven for all anime fantards and mostly, fujoshies aka yaoi fangirls. So, he decided to share the fanfiction made by fujoshies with the KHR cast. Oh dear...
Pairings(s): None, its all crack with a side dish of anger, courtesy of the KHR cast.
Warning(s): Lots of hate from the KHR cast, unbeta'd. Oh and, some unrelated/irrelevant references.
A/N: Omg, the 3rd chapter already? Since when did I work so hard? Haha! And thank you for all the lovely reviews! You know, when I was writing the 2nd chapter, I wished someone would request 5927(this couple needs more love) and my wish came true... in the form of a mini-review-flood! xD Omg, it was hard choosing which one to write but, I only took one in the end, sorry to those who didn't get chosen. There were a few similar ones already and to make it fair I had to basically...
Reviewer A = had 2 requests, so I took 1.
Reviewer B = had 1 request(that was the same as A), so I took from B and left the similar one from A.
Yep, it was kinda confusing but it became okay in the end. :)
"Normal speech."
'Thoughts.'
*Voice from above, which is Kami-sama, a.k.a the author.
000
5927/GokuTsuna/GokuderaTsuna
"Go-Gokudera-ku-kun", Tsuna whimpered as he was being pinned on the wall by Gokudera. Tsuna moaned as he was being kissed on the neck. Gokudera stripped defenseless Tsuna and licked his creamy white shoulders. "I promise to protect you, Jyuudaime.", Gokudera whispered as he and Tsuna went for a deep sexy kiss.
[Bishi-bishi]
"... E-e-err, why am I still doing this..?" groaned Tsuna, as if he didn't have enough of the 'Yaoi Fiction Flood 2011', he dubbed it oh-so lovingly.
*That's the main point of this fiction.
"What?" asked Tsuna dumbly, clearly not knowing that his and his friends' reactions are being seen by the 'fujomons'.
Cue in the laughs, snorts and giggles, which are totally directed at Dame-uke-tuna-hero-Tsuna-chama-tan-nyan-koi.
*And did you know that I'm recording your reactions?
"Eh... EHHHHHHHH!"
*Oh come on, why not share the laughs and giggles with our lovely fangirls?
Cue in Kami-sama's snickering.
"So that means..." said Tsuna, completely horrified. Too horrified that he can't even continue his sentence.
*That means women lik- err, LOVE seeing you being the ultimate uke of ukes? Well, the KHR cast is mostly made up of men, so why the fuck not?
"..."
*Did you know that Kyoko is a yaoi fangirl?
"..."
*...That's probably why she never goes out with you.
-0-0-
Wherever the heck Gokudera lives, which is most probably in Tsuna's closet as everyone has never ever seen his house in Namimori before...
"Oh f-f-fuck.." muttered Gokudera over and over, with stutters and pink tinted cheeks. Yeah, stutters and pink tinted cheeks. He quickly shook his head and slapped himself a few times.
'How dare this shit-called-author(sorry!) try to defile the Tenth's innocence...'
*Wow, you care more about your boss' pride? Did he even have any? You dog, care more about yourself! Like that time during the Ring Battle, you almost died and your bossu-uke had to beg from yo-
"WHO'S THERE? ARE YOU THAT LOW-LIFE? COME OUT BEFORE I DOUBLE BOMB YOU." he hissed loudly.
Today was so not his day.
*Kami-sama, damn it! Stop asking! Figure it out yourself, maths-wizard!
"Heh, 'Kami-sama'..?" said Gokudera then suddenly, a light bulb flashed brightly in his head comically, indicating that he had an idea. "Are you an... U.M.A?" his eyes were literally glittering and shimmering with sparkles, however the hell that happened.
*...Sure, whatever you like to call me.
Came the sarcastic reply. Key word, SARCASTIC.
Let's just say Kami-sama got interrogated by a professor Gokudera with glasses who totally forgot about the fanfiction he read earlier.
000
(unknown number?)/RyoTsu/RyoheiTsuna
The shirtless boxing athlete began to kiss Tsuna roughly as he went and tied the brunette's wrist with the laces that are on the boxing gloves, behind the brunette's back I might add.
[anon: korakorakufufufuf]
"HIEEEEEEEE, ONII-SAN?" screamed one uke brunet we all know, mostly loved and fantasized by fujomons.
Yeah, fujomons.
*Wow, indirect incest much? Incest-ception? TROLOLOL-
Yes, Kami-sama is a troll.
Just like what he/she did in the previous chapter to Giotto.
Tsuna just fell on his bed, completely drenched in sweat and horrified-feelings that was swirling in his guts, probably the leftover food from last night.
As if the 'Reborn version' wasn't bad enough.
*Oh, I hear a sneeze from a distant place. Wait, isn't Reborn supposed to have a life-long flu now? His enemies talk about how they want to kill him in every way possible while fujomons talk about how Tsuna and him should work out together, in that way, wink wink.
The Dame-uke-tuna-hero-Tsuna-chama-tan-nyan-koi just sighed(Tsuna: what's up with that nickname?) for the 100th time today.
He hoped that there weren't anymore of the 'yaoi flood'.
Oh, how he spoke too soon.
*TROLOLOL.
-0-0-
"Ex.." muttured Ryohei. "..t-t-treme..."
He really didn't know what to comment on the yaoi fiction he had just read.
*Ryohei trembles in fear? YE GADS!
"I MUST DO 9000 LAPS, PUSH-UPS, UPPER-CUTS, MORE LAPS, KICKS, UPPER KICKS, MORE AND MORE LAPS AND BOXING TO THE EXTREEMEEEEE!" Ryohei stated out, loud and clear on what he was going to do for the rest of the whole week. "AND MORE KICKS, UPPER-CUTS, ETC ETC ETC ETC-"
WARNING: ERROR. ERROR. Ryohei Sasagawa is on spam-trainer-mode, please be careful and take caution while you are near him in any way or form. 'We' are not responsible if you have a broken nose or a torn limb, thank you.
And cue in more shouts and statements of pure determination.
*Wow, never knew Ryohei can be reborn'd into a determined trainer from just a small yaoi fiction. Better tell Reborn about this shit, but he might shoot bullets into my head first..
Yep, that kind of fiction was considered 'small'.
By fujomons.
That week, in the whole of Namimori, shouts of 'EXTREME' were heard, loud and clear.
Even at night.
During that time, unknown to anyone, Kyoko giggles at her brother's crazy antics.
000
8427/BaTsu/BasilTsuna
"Mhmmnn..." the brunetee groaned as Basil began to lick the brunette's neck as he unbuttoned Tsuna's middle school uniform.
[anon: korakorakufufufuf]
"Are you friggin' serious..." mumbled our favorite hero, who is unfortunately having a terrible time, courtesy of Reborn and the bullying of Kami-sama.
*At least its better than Reborn's version, no?
"Wow, Kami-sama actually tries to comfort me rather than poke fun of me?" drawled Tsuna sarcastically, the emotional scars from the previous 'Yaoi Fiction Flood' and the horrors of google images completely making him just... insane. Since it was the second day of his lovely torture, he dubbed it oh-so lovingly once more as 'Yaoi Flood: Day 2'.
*Don't be so mean, Tsuna-poo, I only TRIED to comfort you. Besides, Basil is a good guy.
"...'Tsuna-poo', are you serious...?" asked Tsuna, though it sounded more like a confession than a question.
"And again... Are. You. Serious." said the brunet, his sentences sounding more like statements of monotone. "Last time I checked, Basil thought we were singing enka when we were singing our duet character song."
*Why yes, I am. Oh, I remember that. Good times, no?
"..."
Tsuna didn't bother to say anything anymore.
*U mad, bro?
-0-0-
"I think I have j-just.. read something called a 'doujinshi'..." mumbled Basil, who've just read something he was unable to comprehend or grasp; something we call 'yaoi fiction' or just 'BL'.
*You almost got it right, Basil, only thing is that doujinshi is a fan manga, not fanfiction.
"Wherefore art thou, ye's voice that resounds in this very room..." replied Basil, using the very type of old English which is Middle English, that even Kami-sama wasn't really able to understand.
*Oh please, Basil, speak in modern English. Most people don't understand Middle English. Talking to you is like learning History. Who wants to know about dead people anyway?
"Who art thou?" asked Basil, ignoring what Kami-sama had said just now. He was curious of the voice that he was hearing in wherever he is.
*... A long dead samurai that died in Italy.
It was merely a sarcastic reply. SARCASTIC being the key word.
And again, there was another Gokudera in Italy in the form of a shorter male with dirty blonde hair.
000
C27/ColoTsu/ColonnelloTsuna
''I love you, kora...''Colonnello said.
''S-stop it...''
''I cant hold myself anymore, kora...''
''Colonnello... p-p-please... don't...'' Tsuna said breathlessly...
[Tsukiyonaka97]
"ANOTHER BABY? HIEEEEE!" shouted Tsuna hysterically while pulling his mop of brown hair with his hands. He really had enough of the 'Yaoi Fiction Flood 2011', seriously.
He was about to explode.
*Its the adult version of him, you dolt, like I said in the previous chapter. Unless, you're really a 14 year old pedophile.. And how else is he able to pin you down? Though it should be possible, since there's gun-wielding babies who can kick a person thrice or more than their size.
"WHAT PREVIOUS CHAPTER?" asked the hysteric brunet, ignoring the 'pedophile' part. He still didn't know that the whole thing was divided into multiple chapters, only knowing that Kami-sama was recording everything single thing.
Cue in the laughs and snorts please.
*Oh, nothing.
"GAH!" shouted the ultimate uke of ukes, already unable to comprehend the situation. He was already falling into the hysterical side of him.
*You know, I find it unexpected that you CAN deal with gun-wielding babies namely Reborn, the Italian Mafia, being the boss of a mafia family which its name technically translates to 'clam', being bullied by more similar hardcore babies, time-travel and other catastrophes I don't fucking remember but you CAN'T deal with yaoi fiction? Oh dear god, Tsuna, and you thought you were the sane one.
"..."
Again, Tsuna was just speechless at Kami-sama. Wait a minute...
Tsuna's greatest question was...
Who is exactly Kami-sama?
-0-0-
"KORA!" shouted Colonnello, having a more spartan-mixed-with-surprise attitude and with the feeling of 'what-the-fuck-did-I-just-read', or something like that.
'Oh no, I did not just read gay fiction, kora!' shouted Colonnello mentally as he slapped himself a few times. 'Especially with the 10th Vongola Boss! He's like some scrawny stick, kora!'
Colonnello + panicking = ...not Colonnello?
'Lal's boobs are better!' he shouted mentally and kept on repeating 'Lal's boobs' like a mantra in his mind.
*...Er-
"Who's there, kora!" shouted Colonnello
*A long dead warrior that fought for justice in Italy. I died an epic death. Though my bones are probably long gone by now...
Another similar reply came, Kami-sama finding that his/her previous answer in the previous chapter was too... dull and boring.
"You sure, kora?" asked the blonde arcobaleno with a skeptical look.
*Yes siree.
"Hmm.."
*Colonnello, which do you prefer, yaoi fiction or-
Before Kami-sama could continue, Colonnello quickly shouted, "Lal's boobs!" since he was totally horrified of this thing we call 'yaoi fiction' and yeah, Kami-sama had already anticipated the answer so he/she readied a recorder.
Click.
*Collonello, which do you prefer, yaoi fiction or-
"Lal's boobs!"
Click click.
"Oh shi-"
*I'm gonna show it to Lal.
"Wai-"
*Too late.
Let's just say that day, Colonnello almost got killed and buried 5 feet into the ground of CEDEF's outdoor training grounds by one angry navy-haired baby and Colonnello never trusted voices that told him they were 'warriors of justice'.
000
9527/KyoTsu/KyokoTsuna
Tsuna couldn't believe it, Kyoko agreed to go out with him! As he thought of what they could do as a couple, Kyoko smirked darkly, stopped, and then coughed. The slightly taller brunet snapped out of his daydream and turned to Kyoko.
"Yes Kyoko-chan?"
Kyoko couldn't help but squeal and glomp Tsuna. Tsuna blushed. Unknown to him, Kyoko was holding a wig and some rope...
[Multi-Colored Canvas]
"Well, at least its not anymore of those weird fiction..." sighed Tsuna in relief. Good thing is that he read something about him AND Kyoko together, as a couple!
*Well, gee, Dame-Tsuna, did you not read the last part there?
"What part?" he asked curiously. There was definitely nothing wrong with this piece of fiction, if he say so himself.
*Gah, you dimwit! 'Kyoko couldn't help but squeal and glomp Tsuna. Tsuna blushed. Unknown to him, Kyoko was holding a wig and some rope...', got it?
"... 'Kyoko couldn't help but squeal and glomp Tsuna. Tsuna blushed. Unknown to him, Kyoko was holding a wig and some rope...'... huh?" the ultimate uke recited, not really knowing what it meant.
*It means, Dame-Tsuna, you are about to get raped by multiple fujomons and dressed up according to their wild BL fantasies and weird fetishes, you with me so far?
Tsuna, being the naive ultimate uke he is, still didn't really understand what it meant.
*Sigh, what did Reborn do to you that made you the 10th Vongola Boss in the future anyway? And by fetishes, I mean like BDSM, cat-boy costumes, cross-dressing..
"Eh...EHHH!" the brunet shouted, completely dumbfounded.
*Which concludes that Kyoko would never date you because she enjoys looking at you with a guy harem, ya know? I'm not so sure about Haru, though..
-0-0-
Kyoko just giggled at what she had read. Yes, giggled.
In a completely fangirly way.
"Maybe I should set up an offline meeting with this fanfiction writer..." she giggled again.
Which reminds her to buy some rope and hair extensions, plus some girly-revealing maid outfits.
And the shouts of 'EXTREME!' can still be heard.
(sorry if it was short!)
000
D27/DiTsu/DinoTsuna
"Hey, little bro!" Dino started running towards Tsuna. Unfortunately and very expected, he tripped, thus landing in a very awkward position on the soon-to-be-boss.
"Tsu-tsuna.." His lust overcame him as he crashed his lips into the younger one.
[Orithyea]
"HIEEEEEEEEE!" he shouted without a stop to take a breath, not even a single one. He kept on shouting some mumbo-jumbos which cannot be identified since it was all mushed together in one sentence.
Yes, one sentence.
Which means he fell into his hysterical side of his. Oh, Tsuna, and you thought you were the sane one.
After a few minutes, he just fell, face flat onto the ground, having a complete meltdown in his brain.
*Hahaha, Tsuna, don't forget, the 'Yaoi Fiction Flood 2011' won't end just yet... hehehe...
-0-0-
"Boss, are you doing your work?" asked Romario as he knocked on his boss' office's door lightly, loud enough for Dino to hear.
"I am!" replied Dino with a shout.
"If you say so, boss." his trusty subordinate said as he retreated, back to his own work.
'Ahhhh more~~~!'
'Scream my name, Risa!'
Yup, Dino was watching porn.
Well, every man has his needs.
Beep.
"What interrupted my work..?" asked Dino, annoyed by the 'beep' which interrupted his 'work'. Yes, Dino considers watching porn as 'work'.
Email received.
Dino sighed as he paused the video and clicked the email he had received.
Please read this carefully, Boss of Chiavarone.
"Hmm?" he said, questioning the importance of the email to himself. After deciding to read it due to curiosity and wanting to go back to his 'work', he scrolled down.
He scanned the email and turned so red that could make a tomato jealous.
"W-w-what-" he sputtered, totally suprised and caught off-guard by a simple yaoi fiction.
Thud.
Let's just say that a few seconds later, Dino foamed and fell off his chair.
000
A/N: I apologize for my fail humor. xD and yes, finally done, totally sorry if chapter 3 sucked! Oh and, are some of you wondering why Kyoko was included even though its still supposed to be uke!Tsuna? Well, 10 years into the future, if memory serves me right, TYL!Kyoko calls Tsuna 'Tsu-kun'(though my other side tells me its 'Tsu-chan') but they are neither childhood friends, best friends, lovers nor engaged. Don't you think its a little suspicious? So, theory is that, Kyoko approves of uke!Tsuna. Teehee.
Don't forget today that we learned, Dino thinks watching porn is work. Well, every man DOES have his needs...
This is how the request thing works;
Pairing: *insert pairing with uke!Tsuna(27) or Vongola-centric(ex: like guardiansxguardians other than guardiansxTsuna)*
Sentence: *insert sentence, like the ones that were in italic*
Extra Question: What do you think the next pairings shall be related to, after the Vongola-centric and uke!Tsuna? Example: Shimon-centric, het pairings, crack pairings, rare pairings... yeah, you get my point.
[Review and share your opinions! If you are going to request, remember to check in review box if your's is already taken, unless you want war against another ffnet user..]
