Missing Moments: Hard at Work
Shepard wiped the foggy mirror with her arm. Reaper tech had always made her feel dirty and handling those artifacts left her feeling not only grubby, but grouchy as well. Even a hot shower did little to improve her mood. It didn't help that Kaidan was still at Huerta Memorial and Udina had made any information regarding his condition classified over open channels. Unless Kaidan himself sent her a message, the only way she'd be able to find out how he was would be to visit the hospital.
Coincidentally, Cortez wanted a couple spare parts for the Kodiak after it took some damage during the firefight, just in case. They had also found some medigel application schematics for Hanar that the hospital might be able to utilize. Provisions could always use a boost and between leaving Earth, the attack on Mars, and raiding that Cerberus lab, the crew needed a little time to gain their bearings. A trip to the Citadel was warranted and that gave her an excuse to check up on Kaidan to see if he was doing any better. While Dr. Michel had been optimistic about him recovering, she didn't see the beating he took.
She quickly got dressed and dried her hair. Though Shepard was exhausted, she didn't much want to sleep. The nightmare she had those few nights ago hadn't returned, but the memory of it left an eerie echo in the back of her mind. She was certain it was the stress, but knowing that didn't help her get a good night's rest. Scanning her desk, she picked up the requisitions data pad. It looked like EDI had already updated her logs with the crews' supply requests. She skimmed the list, making sure everything was in proper order then finalized it. James and Cortez would take care of the charges and pickups.
Taking the data pad with her, she headed down to the CIC. Traynor could coordinate the shore leave plans. Since they only had an eight hour window to get what they needed on the Citadel, as well as to take a brief reprieve from duty, Shepard would need to make sure that they had enough deck hands to restock the Normandy as quickly as possible before turning the crew loose for some R and R. Knowing she'd have to inspect the ship before they shipped off, that only gave her six or seven hours to take care of business at the Citadel as well as check on Kaidan.
Then it would be off to Palaven. The thought of the turian homeworld possibly being under attack worried her. Garrus was the only one who stuck around after she turned herself in to the Alliance. He'd stayed just long enough to make sure she would be okay and then left for Palaven. Shepard couldn't blame him though. He hadn't been back home since before she met him, and after they found out how close the reapers were from Dr. Kenson, she herself had wanted to warn her own people. Not that they listened to her. She hoped Garrus had better luck with the turians and that he was alright.
As she stepped off the elevator, Traynor turned and smiled. Apparently, she had good news and Shepard could use some good news for once.
"Commander, you've got a message from Major Alenko. He must be feeling better."
Shepard sighed with relief and smiled. "Thanks, Traynor."
She definitely needed to hear that. Immediately, she logged on the terminal in the CIC and checked the message. Kaidan was doing fine. She hoped he was joking about causing trouble for the nurses, but then again when she thought about it, it had been nearly three years since they had been together. He said it himself that he had changed in his letter after Horizon. Maybe he had finally learned to lighten up a bit. And despite what she wanted to think, Shepard knew deep down that she had changed as well. Maybe not her ideals, but she knew that she had hardened over the past year.
Shepard sighed. Kaidan was finally opening up and here she was closing herself off more and more. Duty always came first, and even if it hadn't… she'd been slowly losing more of herself the past year. Nothing had been the same after she woke up from that coma. Try as she might, Shepard lost those two years and she was never getting them back. People she loved, people she cared about… they had all moved forward without her. In fact, she had to remind herself that technically she was dead to them until just a year ago. The only thing she could think to do now was to make up for the lost time. But how was she supposed to do that with a war going on?
She logged out and handed Traynor the data pad. "Here's our requisitions order. I need to you send it through the proper channels on the Citadel so that we can get loaded up as soon as we dock. I want there to be enough time for the crew to fit in some R and R before we ship back out."
"I'll take care of it, Commander." Traynor replied with a nod. "This shouldn't take too long. I'll be sure to get you a final schedule in a couple hours."
"Thanks."
That would give her enough time to head down to the armory and patch up her armor. Between Mars and the Cerberus lab raid, she was sure there were bound to be some scuffs that needed attention. The hours flew by quickly as she lost herself in her work. First her armor, then she worked on her weapons, and after that she reviewed the few reports Traynor was able to assemble from Earth. The battles all seemed to go poorly, but the trend had been fewer casualties each day. Not by much, maybe a few hundred or so more would survive out of thousands, but it was something.
After Traynor gave her the updated schedule, Shepard was happy to note she'd have ample time to stop by and check on Kaidan. Probably even enough time to check on some of her crew at the Citadel. Even after that, she might manage to take a few moments to herself. She thought about the fountains, and how Kaidan had mentioned how peaceful they were back when they both served on the SR1 under Anderson. She wasn't even a Spectre then. It felt like a lifetime ago.
Once her work was done on the Normandy, Shepard headed straight for the hospital. The Alliance already had transport ready for her, and she found herself glad that they did. Though she wasn't angry with Kaidan anymore, she wondered if he felt the same. Would he still be mad? Did he really think she was just some Cerberus puppet? Shepard felt her stomach twist up as her heart clenched. He'd had three years to get over her, but she'd only been back for a year. And she was far from getting over him.
The ride over felt like hours and all she could do was stew in her own dismal thoughts. He'd been angry with her. Angry on Horizon, angry on Mars… Shepard wasn't sure what to expect when she got to the hospital. Would they just have another fight? Or would they finally be able to talk about things for once. She sighed. If only he'd visited her while she was under house arrest. She had needed to see him so badly. Six months of doing nothing except thinking about everything she'd lost, about everything she couldn't do while being under guard. She couldn't prep for the war. She couldn't even talk to her friends.
She walked into the hospital. It was busier than when they first brought Kaidan in. More injured refugees seeking shelter, no doubt. She couldn't even check in at the front desk without first calming down a fight between an angry patron and the receptionist. Shepard frowned. More fighting, that's all she needed. She sighed, gaining back her composure and turned around to go visit Kaidan when she spotted a Sirta kiosk. Maybe a gift would help smooth things over. She checked what they had. A bunch of books, but she wasn't sure what Kaidan liked to read, and some medicinal whiskey. Whiskey was always good. In fact, she felt like she could use a shot of some herself.
It felt nice to pick up something for him. Shepard smiled, making a mental note to try doing this more often then headed down the hall. Dr. Michel caught her though and updated her on Kaidan's medical status. He was going to be fine. She felt a weight lift off her shoulders. Even if… she stopped herself from thinking any more about it. Kaidan was going to be fine. And as long as he was okay, that's what mattered most to her.
Shepard took a deep breath before opening the door, trying to calm her dancing nerves. Kaidan was lying on the bed, looking only slightly miserable and he managed to prop himself up to see who'd come in. Despite his terrible injuries, Kaidan smiled. It was just what she needed.
