Love's Journey 3

by Castlefan6

Authors Note This is the continuation of Love's Journey, originally authored by The Muse of Apollo, chapters 1-7 of the original story, all following are work of Castlefan6' IF you haven't read the original Love's Journey, and Love's Journey 2 please do so before proceeding with this,

I don't own Castle, I use the characters for amusement purposes only

Chapter 2

Previously

"Kate, (long pause) promise me you will show him you love him again physically. He never stopped loving you, and we both knew it, promise me Kate, this is your blessing please take it and take care of the only man either of us will ever love enough to step aside for, I beg you" as she breaks out into full sobbing now.

Castle's Loft

1:00 PM

Kate and Jess had managed to squeeze in a quick trip to the boutique near Kate's apartment, and both had purchased new wraps for the beach. Rick walked through the doors as the ladies were busy chatting about Lost Innocence and how proud they were of it, causing Rick just to smile.

"Hey Ladies, I'm back and have the car service ordered for 1:30 PM if that's OK?"

"Seems like we have been ready for a few hours there Mr. Castle, just waiting for our celebrity author to return" Jess kids.

"Yea Rick we were wondering if you were already signing books you've been gone so long" Kate adds.

"Ha Ha Kate did Jess tell you that FAP has patented software where I only have to sign the template and all online sales have a real autograph, it's so cool."

Rick's phone buzzes and a minute later the driver is at the front door with luggage trolley to take the bags to the car.

"Well ladies, this is it, two weeks of sun and fun, and Kate, Montgomery has already approved your time so don't go trying to pull I am on call routine with us," Rick laughs

"You are impossible, still can't stay out of my business can you Rick? But, Thank You I think I need some time away, more than I even realized", as she gently squeezes Jess hand out of view from Rick.

"You're welcome Kate, you have been burning a lot of hours for us and not allowing to pay you, so we had to do something, I hope you have some fun and get to relax" Rick replies with a smile.

They are seated in the Limo in their usual order Jess gets in first, then Rick, followed by Kate and choose the rear bench seat. The churning wheels and beautiful scenery has Jess leaning her head on Rick's shoulder, soon after Kate repeats the same motion, and Rick is sandwiched with two sleeping beauties on each shoulder.

As he thinks back to that fateful day, when Kate came to the loft 18 months ago, uttering the most feared four words any man is to hear, "We need to talk", the valleys he had been in, how hurt and spiteful he felt, and then ashamed that he allowed his feelings to take over when Kate approached him with the most sincere apology he had ever heard from her.

He silently thanks the Man Above that Kate, chose to forgive him as well, he didn't think he could have loved Jess with the depth that he did if he still harbored ill will toward Kate. Jess was so aware of her position in his life, never challenged by Kate, even when he confirmed what she knew, Yes, he still loved Kate and always would, but not in the same way he loved her.

The only regret he had now was that Kate was lonely, she refused everyone who tried to fix her up, and outside of the few occasions where she and Mike had gone somewhere she had only been with Jess and him. Rick knew in his heart it was because she was still in love with him and didn't want to start anything with anyone else. He still marveled at how she and Jess got so close, totally different backgrounds with one common thread, him.

The trip comes to an end as the driver pulls into the gated drive, enters the code and then proceeds to the turn about drive way. The stopping motions have awakened both Jess and Kate, both now stretching and yawning as they finally stop at the front door. The bags are unloaded and taken to their rooms, and Rick thanks the driver as he always does with a generous tip.

Jess appears to be even more tired today than yesterday, and even Kate had visible signs of lack of sleep, perhaps it was the coming down from the high of all of the activities from the last several months. Kate begs off for a quick nap after catching Jess's eye for a minute knowing this is the time and excuses herself to her room.

"Rick, could we talk?" Jess asks, and something in her tone sends chills down Rick's spine.

"Sure Angel, you want to do it on the veranda or inside on the couch?"

Jess takes his hand and leads him to the couch, placing a sweet deep kiss full of passion that now has Rick extremely worried.

"Rick, please promise me, you'll let me get through what I have to say, then we can talk all you want, OK Love?"

Rick's face is ashen as he nods, then sits as Jess takes his hand in hers, and begins. He does his best not to interrupt, but he says "No, NO, we'll get the best specialists Jess" as she quiets him with just kissing her finger and placing it sweetly on his lips, he isn't afraid to show it the tears flow from his eyes, then Jess's feely, until she finishes, then just falls into his arms needing the security that only he could provide. They remain together just clinging to each other, and perhaps sealing away a memory that will need to last a lifetime for one and will be a lifetime for the other.

"How long have you known Angel, and why didn't you tell me instead of holding this in all by yourself"

"I just found out when I was at the hospital day before yesterday, I told the Doctors they had to be wrong I have never felt better, a little tired but I feel good. They get the final lab results back in two weeks, so I thought we could enjoy these next weeks just us knowing, and oh yeah I told Kate this morning on our shopping trip, I hope you're not angry."

"Kate knows then, no baby I'm not angry at all, not at you. I'm mad at the fucking world right now for doing this to you, to us, but not at you, never at you"

It must have been later than they both realized when they heard Kate making extra noise as she walked down the stairs, and into the room, one glance at them both and she knew her friends were sharing some of the most horrific news one would ever hear. She didn't know which was worse, hearing your loved one was going to die, or that they already had.

"Rick, Jess, I'm so sorry, really so, so sorry, and I don't know what to say, what to do, damn it, Rick tell me what I should do" as she bursts out in tears. Not surprising it was Jess who was first there to embrace her and offer words of comfort,

"Shh, hey now Kate, I'm still here, not gone yet, got a little while, It's OK, it really is," the more she speaks the harder Kate cries. "I'm supposed to be here for you, I even fuck that up", Kate says through girl cry talk

Rick is reeling with pain, surprise, doubt, anger, and all the other emotions rolled together, "Angel, do you mind if I take a walk on the beach, I won't be long" he asks Jess

"Rick, Kate is with me, take as much time as you need, I'm sorry I had to spring this on you the first day we are here, but honesty always, Right?"

Ricks eyes soften a bit, as he shoots her a sad smile and says "of course, I'll be back, you can see from upstairs all the way down the beach I promise I won't go off the paths" as he slips out the door quietly and heads down to the beach. Tears blind his eyes, and it's a good thing he is familiar with the terrain or he would have fallen, he just lets the tears flow.

Kate has collected herself, and remembers she is there to support Jess, "I won't ask how hard that was, but how are you doing, and how do you think Rick really took the news"

"Kate, I feel like someone has ripped me open and tore my heart out, I don't feel that way for me, but you should have seen him Kate, that little boy so afraid, so lost was back again and I couldn't help him at all, I felt so helpless"

"I know Jess, I'll check on him from upstairs in a bit if he's not back soon, what can I get you now, you need to eat and drink something. I'm going to put a pot of coffee on if I can figure out this machine, think you will want a cup?"

"Sound good think maybe this headache has something to do with limited caffeine today, among other things"

"Kate, can I ask you something, please, you don't have to answer but I want to ask anyway, OK?"

"I'll answer if I can Jess, what do you want to know?

"Early on in our relationship I called Rick a pet name, Hun or Sweetie don't remember but he laughed and said I could call him anything but Babe or Kitten. I know you called him Babe, who called him Kitten and why is that sensitive to him?"

Kate relates the story of one of the early cases Rick had worked with the boys and her and how Meredith had made an appearance and used that nickname on Rick, and then confessed she had kidded him about it pretty hard. She went on to tell her about the first gun battle when Rick had saved her life, and his request was that she never call him that again.

"Jess, I assure you it's not because she used it in an endearing manner,"

The whole account has brought a big smile on Jess's face. "How about you, Kate, is he still your Babe?"

Kate almost chokes, "Jess we just talked about this, and" she turns to see Jess laughing you are too easy Kate, got to toughen it up sweetie", she laughs

"Too Soon?" mimicking Rick, and Kate nods, yes, too soon.

"Jess, what do you want to do with whatever time any of us have left," Kate asks, since the cards are on the table now.

"I want to make sure that MRR is fully funded for the next two phases, it should be with the first book alone, but I want to leave an alternate course for finance if anything falls through" "I want to make sure that I explain what is happening in grown up terms to Lexi, and she has the chance to ask me anything that's on her mind"

"I want to love and be loved by my special man until I take my last breath, and I want to know that when I am gone my best friend will wait an appropriate amount of time, then Fuck his brains out for us both"

Kate is making mental notes until the last line, then turns red, "Jess, what if he doesn't feel like that about me anymore, I mean I can't assault him, or make him want me".

Jess looks over at Kate, "We have had that talk, I'll take care of Rick, knowing him he'll probably try to nail you at the memorial service," she laughs as Kate blushes complete beet red now from her neck up

"Kate, it's part of life, we might as well live each day with humor, joy and to our best, I'm not sitting around whining.

"I love Rick, I have since it was too late to tell him how I felt, and I will love him till the day I die, but Jess, I hurt him so badly, how will he ever be able to get over that, even if he does or did have feelings for me"

"Remember what I told you, Forgiveness is a gift you never return, only pass it on, Rick coined that phrase early on in our relationship. He will do anything for me, I know he will, all I need to do is ask. Kate, have faith, and please be strong, Rick is going to need you to lean on soon, and it would let me leave knowing someone who loves him as much as I do will be with him, that's a prayer answered for me"

"One more point while it's just us girls, DON'T let anyone dictate the amount of time to wait before you consummate your relationship with Rick, I mean it, you'll both know when it is right,"

"Jess, how do you do that? You are telling me it's not only OK but it's your desire that I make love with Rick when you are gone, and not to let others dictate a time frame" "I love you girl, but I'm still not sure I could tell you that, I try, but I'm not there yet"

"I disagree, when you say Goodnight, to us, Rick kisses you and embraces you, I see the chill bumps run over your arms, and I know it has to kill you to leave knowing he is giving himself to me." "The only difference is I am taking the cowards way out and not allowing it to happen until I have passed, while you love us both enough to stay with us and feel that pain, that's why I know you love us both"

It's Kate that now bursts into tears, "Damn you Jess, you weren't supposed to see that, and to know just how much it does kill me, but I do Love you both, I just hope Rick can find it in his heart to allow me in, all the way, Having to go on without you is going to devastate us both Jess, and sometime Ricks withdraws, Hell who am I talking to, you're the one that saved us both from my mess."

What Jess or Kate have failed to realize that Rick had been standing in the eve, out of site hearing every word of their conversation. He'd changed his mind about the walk, he just wanted to spend every minute with Jess he could, but to hear Jess not only bless but almost plead with Kate to resume a relationship with him brought tears to his eyes, she understood, everything, God he loves that woman.

A/N Going to leave this here for now, there is some heavy stuff going down. To those who leave reviews, much appreciated, I love the speculations but for those DM'g with crude remarks or demands it's faster for me to hit delete than it is for you to talk or type. At my age I have shirts older than some of those who think they are relationship gurus, Love's Journey is different for each and everyone of us, Please enjoy a AU episode of Castle, If Only?