The next month flew by. Mike slowly became my best friend. Being with him was so easy and so natural. Despite my initial promise not to take too long making my decision, I couldn't help but keep putting it off. It was too hard to stop and think too long about the depth of my feelings. And it didn't help that Mike's presence just completely wiped out whatever was on my mind before spending time with him, even Beth or… let's just say painful thoughts. And I had to admit, this was pretty useful. He was like a drug I was slowly becoming addicted to as to clear my head. Since we were together a lot, this left little time to contemplate without distractions.
And so I found myself alone at my locker exactly a month after that first night with Mike. I had not yet made up my mind. Although Mike had not pressured me once to choose, I could tell he wanted me to hurry up. Strangely, he hadn't shown up to school yet, and I could feel my heart sinking at the possibility that he might be absent. Though I suppose I should be happy that I might end up with a bit more time. Regardless, I couldn't help but keep looking for him. He hadn't sent me a text, which I imagined he would have done if he was sick or something. God, I hope he was okay…
"Hey Quinn!" I heard Brittany and jumped and I swear I may have just wet my pants, even though she said hi everyday like this.
"What the hell! Did you have to scare me like that, Brit? God, be more careful!" I snapped at her. Oh damn. I hadn't given a second's forethought to the fact that I was speaking to Brittany. Her mouth slowly dropped open and there might have been a tear in the corner of her eye.
"I'm sorry Quinn. I didn't mean to…" at that she ran away. Fuck. I hadn't meant to hurt her feelings. But that's what I did anyway, to everyone. I sighed, determined to apologize later as I turned to shut my locker. Then the one thing I should have expected happened.
"What the fuck was that for, Tubbers?" I could hear Santana shout from behind me. Dammit to hell. "Did you even realize you were speaking to Brittany?"
"God, Santana, calm down, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I'm gonna apologize later," I said, praying futilely that she would back off.
"I will most certainly not calm down! What were you thinking? She was only saying hi, for God's sakes!" she screamed. Her face was livid.
Without giving me a chance to respond, she continued, "What would possess you to do that? She's like, the sweetest person in the history of ever, and you have to go shout at her? I mean, it's Brittany, bitch!"
"Santana! Gosh, I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to. I wasn't thinking. I'm kind of distracted right now. Lawrence is giving a really hard test today and my mind wasn't in what I was saying, it was in the land of chemical equations!" I said.
"Chemical equations, my ass, Q! We both know that's not what you were thinking about. You could ace that test in your sleep. Just because your lover isn't here does not give you a free pass to go and shout at Brittany!" she bellowed. By this point, the bell had already rung. The test in question had probably already begun. I might need to take it in my sleep the way this was going.
I could feel my face go red. "Mike is not my lover, Santana."
"Bullshit! I've never seen anyone more in love with you, and let me tell you, there's been way too many boys in this goddamn school that have fallen into that hole," she said, completely distracted. I could tell she'd wanted to get this off her (considerably larger) chest for a while now.
"Well even if he was in love with me, that has nothing to do with my attitude today," I insisted.
"Oh sure, if you say so, Quinn."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"Please! Don't even try and tell me you are not in love with him too!" she said, nearly laughing. Great. Did the whole school know there was something going on between me and Mike?
"I…I don't know how I feel about him, San," I said.
"Then you are stupid. He's a great guy and he's hot and he's great in bed too, not like you care about that. If you don't love him, then you are missing out on a lot. I know you have him hanging by some decision you have to make, so I'm telling you, make it soon, and make it the right one. You'll regret it someday if it's not," Santana said. I bit my lip. What she said was true (although I had no confirmation of him in bed, and it's not like I had any real desire to find out). Would it really be so hard to be in love with Mike Chang?
"Look, Q. I'm not here to tell you what to do. On second thought, yes I am, when it comes to Brittany, who you better fucking apologize to, or you're gonna find Jacob Ben Israel's jew fro up your ass, which I'm sure you'll enjoy. But anyway, Mike. Don't say no. He'd be good for you. He already has been. You've haven't been so depressed lately while you're with him. Imagine what it would be like if he was your boyfriend too." At this, she spun on her heel, and left without a farther comment, likely looking for Brittany to comfort. I sighed. Without a second thought, I headed for chemistry.
Later, while taking the Chemistry test during lunch, my thoughts kept wandering to Mike. He still hadn't shown up to school. Could Santana be right, that I was so temperamental because he wasn't here, like she was when Brittany was gone? It was true I felt better with him by my side, but could it be because I was in love with him? I couldn't focus on the problems, and I found myself fervently praying for a retake as I handed it to Mr. Lawrence as he glared at me. Rapidly, I was going from one of his favorite students to his least favorite, just by disturbing his order in the slightest and missing the beginning of a test. Fantastic.
I left the classroom hurriedly, hoping to get to the last of lunch for just a bite to eat. I put my head down and speed walked right into somebody.
"Hey! Slow down, there Q, you're gonna kill somebody!" My heart lifted with my head as I looked right up into Mike's smiling face.
"Mike! Where have you been? I was getting worried about you!" I half squealed to him.
"Slept late. My mom insisted that I take a bit to relax as long as I was gonna be late anyway. Why aren't you at lunch?"
"I missed the beginning of the Chem test. I had to finish it now. I think I failed." He laughed at this as we started walking in a random direction. Now that I was with him, I didn't really care if I ate anymore.
"Why'd you miss?"
I didn't really want to tell him, but I knew I couldn't bear lying to him. "Santana was bitching me out in the hall for snapping at Brit."
"Ouch. Must have been ugly. What'd Brittany do to get you riled up?" He asked, sounding genuinely concerned. Everyone knew what Santana was capable of when it came to Brittany.
"Well, nothing. I was just in a bad mood, and unfortunately, it was Brittany to get in the way of my temper first," I told him. God, I hoped he wouldn't ask about why I was in a bad mood.
He looked at me. "Why the mood?" Of course. That boy could never ask the right questions. For once, I couldn't answer. He nudged my side. "Quinn?"
I sighed. I bit my tongue, searching for an appropriate lie. Of course, there wasn't one.
"You weren't here," I mumbled quickly, hoping he would miss what I said. He stopped and looked down at me. The question was bright in his eyes.
"Have you made your decision, Q?" he asked, sounding hopeful. Up until that point, I hadn't realized that I had. But admitting to him the source of my troubles showed me the answer. I opened my mouth slightly, searching for the words to tell him I wanted to be with him. After failing for a minute or so, I did the only other thing I could think of to do. Stretching up onto my toes, I kissed him. His body froze against mine, but after a moment, Mike relaxed and kissed me back.
"Is that a yes, you want to be with me?" He murmured a second later.
"Most definitely," I said. And after all those days of worry, I found that I hadn't been more sure of anything. He kissed me again and the bell rang. Students came rushing out of their classrooms, but we just stayed there, sharing this one perfect moment as life went on all around us.
