Disclaimer: If I owned Fullmetal Alchemist, Al x Barry the Chopper would be canon. ;D.

Summary: Roy a manga artist and Riza a waiter that works next door?! AND they have to take the bus together to work EACH AND EVERY MORNING?! Hey! We may be onto something here!

Author's Note: Once again, thanks to all the readers who reviewed. :D. And I read back the last chapter, and yes, I realized quite a few times I slipped into say 'me, my' instead of 'she, her'. I'M SO SORRY. Yes, I should get a beta reader. But. And yes, I know that chapter was rather poorly written, hope this one's better. :P. Anyway, enjoy the chapter. And yes, I think this story is more of utter randomness as oppose to serious romance. :D.

COFFEE BREAK
chapter three: riza hawkeye's got a thing for her boss?!

"MR. BASTARD! WHERE the hell are my cookies?!"

Groaning, he spun around on his heel, "SHUT THE HELL UP, TINYRIC!" he yelled, before turning back to her with a rather charming smile, awaiting her answer not-so-patiently.

--

She watched, bemused as he walked back to the table in which his fellow workers were seated at. Havoc, who'd popped into the cafe just a few moments ago, grinned at Roy, "What happened, Roy? You look as if you've seen a ghost!" Stumbling over to the table, Roy stuttered for a few moments, tossing Ed his cookie, (which he quite immediately started chomping on) before announcing, "She. Rejected. Me." he gritted his teeth, as if unbelieving of what he'd just admitted, then promptly toppled out of his chair.

The table was silent as all of his co-workers (and Havoc) stared at him in disbelief, before they exploded in a great mass of mutters, above it all, she could hear Havoc and Edward cackling in glee and Maes roaring his laughter, claiming that if Roy settled down he'd have a wonderful daughter to take care of.

Despite the chatter at the table, she continued wiping the counter. Before long, the short blond strode up to the counter, an evil, smug grin plastered seemingly permanent on his face. Reachign the counter, he grinned at her, "Heh. Great job, Miss. Mr. Bastard hasn't been rejected since.." and he trailed off, looking into space as if he couldn't draw up the memory of something.

Completely baffled, she muttered, "What's the big deal? I just refused to go to the theater with him, it's really not that outstanding.."

Edward, eyes glittering mischeviously, responded, "Oh no. This is a HUGE deal. Mr. Womanizer over there's never been rejected. He claims that no woman can resist his 'manly charm'." He told her, before errupting in laughter that was undeniably evil.

He handed her a credit card, managing to get out that it was Roy's card, and to give herself a very, very, very, generous tip.

--

(Later: Next door at Fullmetal Alchemist Co.)

Roy dragged Havoc by the ear quite unceremoniously into his office, poking his head out the door, "MAES, TINYRIC, TIN CAN, FUERY, BREDA, FALMAN, GET YOUR BUTTS IN HERE NOW!"

"BASTARD! MY NAME'S EDWARD. EDWARD DAMN ELRIC! AND MY BROTHER'S NAME IS AL. ALPHONSE! NOT TIN CAN! AND BESIDES, WE'RE NOT THE ONES THAT GOT REJECTED TODAY!!" Ed added, rather gleefully as he walked, glowering, into Roy's office, followed closely by Al, who managed to tip over a can of ink pens on his way in. Roy, showing unbelievable patience, barely registered this as he ushered in the rest of the crew.

When they were all seated in the cramped little office, Roy pulled out a large piece of chartpaper and a laser pointer (out of nowhere, cause this is a fanfic. ;D.) Looking uncharacteristically serious, he glared at the people in his office, "Okay, people. Let's go over the routine for mission Get Riza Away From Armstrong and Go Out With the Supertastic Outstandingly Awesome Roy."

"What. The. Hell, Mr. Bastard?" said Ed.

"Awh, I was on my way to lunch!" said Breda.

"LOOK AT MY DARLING ELYSIA!" said (or, rather, screamed) Maes.

'Mew!' "Shh.. kitty." said Al before petting the kitten hidden in his backpack.

"Oh." said Fuery.

"The word 'supertastic' doesn't exist." said Falman.

"She's got a thing for her boss?" said Havoc.

Suddenly the room was quiet, before Havoc said, "WAIT? WHAT? She's got the hots for Armstrong?"

Roy gritted his teeth, grumbling under his breath before finally admitting, "When she re-re-re. Reje-jected m-me.." he stumbled as if it were the most amazing thing in the world before continuing, "She said it was because Armstrong was coming over to her apartment, later on tonight." He glared as Havoc opened his mouth, smirk already quite visble before faltering due to Roy's glare.

"Anyhow. This is what we're going to do." he commented, before pulling a veil off his chartpaper, a sketch of his plan with a rather detailed drawing of Riza on it.

--"Al. Why are we even helping that stupid artist, anyway?" Ed questioned, annoyed that he was actually caught helping Mustang. Al, in response, shrugged his shoulders happily, petting the kitten that was seated on his lap fondly.

The communicator in Ed's hand crackled to life, and Roy's annoyed voice crept to him, "You're helping me because if you don't I'm sure I could find myself another editor!"

Glaring at it, Ed threw the communicator into the bush in front of him, only to reach into the thorny bush to retrieve it when Maes' voice came over the line, "Okay! Team super-awesome-crazy-team-of-super-awesome-craziness, the Hawk is in the Nest!"

"What the hell does that mean, Maes?" somebody, probably Havoc exclaimed.

"Do I have to explain EVERYTHING? Riza's in her house, obviously!" Maes answered in response, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Fuery! Did Muscle Man leave HQ, yet?"

"Uhm. If you mean whether Armstrong left the Cafe yet, then, yes." came Fuery's tentative response. "Since my part is done in this, can I go home now, Boss?"

Then, Roy's voice emanated from the little machine, "Okay, heading into the Hawk's nest. Operation you-guys-distract-Armstrong-while-I-go-in-and-Charm-Riza commence!"

"You know. We really should join the military." Breda stated.

"Tch. That's crazy, can you IMAGINE us in the military?" Roy answered in response.

--

"Okay, brother. Let's distract Armstrong." said Al. Ed, more than happy to agree just so he could get the hell out of the bush he was currently inhabitating, tugged on the cat's tail, causing it to yowl in despair, dashing out of the bush and across Armstrong's feet. Al and Ed in response, chased after the cat, Al tugging Armstrong along, although it frightened him to be in the presence of a man so giant.

--

Fixing his shirt as best he could, Roy tapped briskly on Riza's apartment door. Maes had somehow managed to get Riza's address, though Roy still had no idea as to how the man got these things accomplished. Riza's door opened, and she smiled, "Mr. Armstron- Roy?" he smiled his best charming smile, praying to Dear God that his co-workers could distract Armstrong. Roy was a fit man, toned and strong, but he had no wishes to be caught in a squabble with that man.

"Good evening, Riza." he smirked, slipping past her to let himself into her apart. Sending his gaze skittering over her cozy little apartment, he was relieved to see no signs of a particularly romantic dinner, this must mean Riza and Armstrong had probably not been going out for a long time, fourth or fifth date, at best.

"If you don't mind my asking, Mr. Mustang, what exactly are you doing here?" her voice came from behind him.

He paled, he hadn't thought his plan this far. "Uhm. Well - you see. I - came to.. I.. wanted to ask you how to make coffee!" he nodded, apparently quite proud with himself. It was a good excuse, if you ask him.

--

Armstrong continued on his way, after having been delayed. He had helped Al and Ed catch their cat, announcing to them that the tradition of helping out citizens had been passed down the Armstrong line for generations. His sparkles glittered proudly. After all, it wasn't everyday he got to help a citizen.

Then out of nowhere, a black haired man popped out. "Armstrong, buddy!" the man exclaimed, "Have you seen these pictures of my darling daughter, Elysia?"

--

"You see," he continued, "The coffee I usually drink isn't very good! But this morning, when I drank your coffee, I was absolutely astonished! So, I would like you to teach me how to make coffee!" Roy stated. It wasn't totally a lie, the coffee that he got from his usual place tasted like a mix of water and beans that had disgustingly horrid flavour. Still, he didn't wake up early enough to make his own coffee.

She frowned at him, "You know, Mr. Armstrong is coming in a fifteen minutes, why not wait until he gets here? He can teach you." she suggested. Personally, she found it kind of queer that he had managed to find her home when she had clearly not given him her address. Still, he really was kind of adorable with his messed up hair and shirt that was anything but tucked into his pants, running out of breath as he gave her his explanation.

In his mind, Roy calculated. If Armstrong was due to her house in fifteen minutes, with the distractions, it should take him at least twice that. Thirty minutes. He grinned victoriously, plently of time to charm Riza, maybe even get laid really quickly. With this silent comment, his perverted thoughts took a run in his mind.

--

Armstrong strode on, tears still staining the corner of his eyes, that man Hughes truly did have a beautiful daughter. He had looked through all of Maes pictures, and quickly agreed that the man was lucky to have such a daughter. It had all been really rather emotional for him.

"Armstrong! Come take a bite with me and Havoc!"

Turning, Armstrong spotted Breda and Havoc walking towards him. Sparkling all the more happier, he walked over to join them. "It would be an HONOUR to dine with you gentlemen!"

--

"Roy?" she questioned when she saw the starry look in the raven haired man's eyes.

Snapping back to reality, he blinked a couple of times, "Yes? Um. What?"

She looked at him, "Have a seat," she said, gesturing to the couch.

Evil plot forming in Roy's mind, he smirked, "Actually, I really would like to take a shower, would you mind..?" She shook her head, thinking that he was kind of odd, but motioned him towards the shower anyway. He grinned, unseen by her. After all, who wouldn't fall at the feet of Roy Mustang with the sight of him after he'd taken a shower? And, he had to admit, he looked completely dashing with his hair wet and flopping over his eyes!

--

Decidedly full, Armstrong continued on his way. This most certainly was his day! He had been given opportunities to help young boys in need, shared in Maes' joy surrounding his lovely daughter Elysia, and joined in Havoc and Breda's meal. Furthermore, he was even going to give his lovely worker Miss Hawkeye a visit. Indeed, today was his day!

"Armstrong!"

Turning, he was pleasantly surprised to see Vato Falman striding towards him. "Vato! I have not seen you around for a while!"

"Well, I was wondering if you could go over the manuscript to Mr. Mustang's latest chapter of his manga with me? I am not quite sure if the use of these words are necessary in particular parts of his script."

Absolutely covered in pink sparkles by now, Armstrong regarded the man with star littered eyes. "Most definitely! The practice of studying the English language has been passed down the Armstrong line for generations!"

--

Picking up a book and settling on her couch, Riza was surprised by a shriek coming from the rough direction of her bathroom. Then the door to the bathroom was thrown open, revealing a shocked looking Roy Mustang, dressed in nothing but a towel wrapped around his lower half. Mustang, who bolted out of the bathroom with wide eyes, seemingly oblivious that he was practically naked in front of her pointed a finger towards the bathroom.

"THERE'S. A. SPIDER. IN. THERE." he yelped.

A moment of silence passed between them, just long enough for the both of them to notice that he, gleaming wet, was wearing nothing but a towel, and that she was charming enough in her shirt, the top buttons unbuttoned so that it showed off her collar bones, but revealed no cleavage to his searching eyes.

He was suddenly quite aware of the prettiest set of eyes he'd ever seen and leaned forward. Despite the situation, Riza couldn't help but admit that he was rather handsome, and the way his eyes locked on hers was quite intimate. She found herself leaning towards him as well, his breath, smelling of ashes and a pleasant scent that she couldn't quite put a name on, whispered over her face.

Placing his hands whisper quietly on her hips (lower than she would've liked) and drew her to him. Placing his lips on hers so that they just touched, he smile when her long eyelashed brushed his cheeks, moving forward to deepen the kiss, his eyes shot open at a sudden movement beside her foot.

"Mmhk!" Watching her eyes flutter open in confusion, he involuntarily streaked away from the little spider crawling on the floor, she squeaking in dismay as his legs tangled with hers, bringing them both crashing to the floor. As it ended up, he landed on top of her, hands placed on both sides of her head, knees propped beside her waist.

"MISS HAWKEYE. ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? I HEARD SOME CRASHES AND A SCREAM!" someone (Armstrong, Roy's mind registered as he paled) called from behind the door.

Bang! Bang! Then the door was thrown open, quite forcefully, and Armstrong, fire in his eyes as he looked at Roy in his unorthodox position above Riza bellowed, "NOBODY TAKES ADVANTAGE OF MY EMPLOYEES! THE DUTY OF PROTECTING ALL, ESPECIALLY THOSE WHO WORK FOR THE ARMSTRONG LINE, HAS BEEN PASSED DOWN THE ARMSTRONG LINE FOR GENERATIONS!"

--

Author's Note: GASP. Armstrong's come to 'rescue' Riza? Will Roy be able to survive this ordeal?! Haha. I don't know how I did with this chapter.

Reviews are loved. :D. As always.