Part 3 of 3.
Once again, thank you to all who reviewed - I do hope you enjoy the final part.
She closed the door properly as she stepped further into the room, her hands still encased around her mug; as he sat on the sofa farthest from the door he watched as she seemed to come to a half lost in thought in the centre of the room.
He had recalled seeing her look so lost before, it was in the days that followed Kate's sudden departure. While the brunette doctor had been the live and soul, her blonde friend seemed to have difficulties with allowing herself to get know other people, he recalled at the time he had mused she wasn't unlike himself in that respect. She was half way through her second Kate-less shift, when he considered reaching out to her, but mentally berated himself for allowing himself to think he could get close to her again.
She was sitting in the staff room, smiling somewhat half heartedly at whatever one of the young nurses had been telling her, he noted just how vulnerable she looked, how innocent she seemed and consequently how young she was, which truthfully made him feel sick to his stomach at the recollection of the events of the previous day.
It had crossed his mind, that although he thought he had been the one avoiding her, that she may actually have been the one who was actively avoiding him. Not that he'd blame her, because his actions less than twenty-four before had been nothing short of unprofessional. He knew exactly how it would look had anyone to find out; she had been upset and vulnerable and he had taken complete advantage of her.
There was something about her that he had been automatically drawn to the moment he'd seen those blue eyes, he'd never been able to put his finger on it. Even standing watching her, he was still unable to understand what he found so alluring about the junior doctor; that fact that he was standing watching her through a window had completely slipped his mind until he realised she was no longer in the staff room but by his side, touching his arm gently wrenching him suddenly from his trance.
She'd looked up at him then, biting her lower lip, nervousness evident and he watched as she opened her mouth and he decided that he couldn't give her the opportunity to form words and simply said "We should think nothing else of yesterday, I'm sure you regret it as much as I do…" He had made to walk away, but in the seconds that it took to turn away from her, he had seen an emotion he could not identify flood her face before she'd scurried in the opposite direction, away from him. Sometime later, some gossiping nurse walked by him and their conversation informed him that the girl had been crying in the ladies toilets for some time.
She snapped out of her trance, and began walking towards him somewhat slowly, he noted though on her route across the staff room she had obviously deemed Kate's news important enough to share because she had begun to speak softly: "Kate's getting married." He had noted her eyes travel to the finger of her left hand where her own wedding ring had once sat and instinctively his own eyes dropped to the skin on his own ring finger which was slightly paler, indicating that a ring was once definitely worn.
While he could tell just by looking at her that she had a lot to say, but at the same time, he could sense her reluctance in actually speaking the words that were so obviously on her mind. He felt her sit down next to him, and he opted not to look at her, not to say anything just to simply wait and see if she could eventually find the words.
She broke the silence between after ten minutes, with the most shocking question: "Why are we still married?" He opened and closed his mouth several times trying to find the words that he desperately wanted to say, yet he seemed unable to understand what they were because simply, they were still married because they were not divorced. He resisted placing a 'yet' on that thought, because part of him hoped that they'd never need to go the traumas of divorce and all that it entailed, he realised that maybe one day, Sam would need that divorce in order to move on with her own life - whether just for her own peace of mind, or so she could cease being Mrs Keogh in order to be someone else's wife.
She had hugged her arms around herself, trying desperately to comfort herself determined that she wasn't going to cry through this conversation. If only, because she wanted to have this serious conversation, as if they were two adults who really had to discuss the subject of their failed marriage and not because she didn't want him to know that she was upset by their separation.
He had wanted to answer her, but he simply couldn't bring himself to commit to the conversation that could potentially end the one vow which still held them together, legally if nothing else. When he glanced in her direction he caught a glimpse of the girl he'd met nearly five years before; shy and vulnerable, and just a bit unsure of herself.
As she sat there waiting on answer, which her husband seemed to be struggling to give her, she allowed her mind to wander, personally she thought that all the reminiscing she was doing was all Kate's fault, Kate's fault for turning up out of the blue and tipping the entire world on its head.
She knew, better than most people in this hospital, that Dylan was often uncommunicative and she'd experienced it plenty of times beforehand; however, it struck her that the least communicative he had ever been was in the weeks after they day they had kissed - she recalled how it had pained her at the time, that he'd let her sit the in ladies toilets crying at his blunt dismissal for well over half an hour.
Though when she had finally emerged, after scrubbing her face desperately trying to rid all traces of her tears, he'd offered her the shortest, smallest of smiles, before informing her without looking at her, that she certainly didn't need him holding her hand through the simplest of cases and presented her with a file which would be sure to keep her occupied until her shift ended.
She had nodded slightly, and quickly found her patient, before beginning to get to work well aware that she didn't need Dylan standing by watching her, ready to correct her mistakes on this particular case; the most difficult part was trying to get an x-ray booked for her patient. She had left the department hurriedly after her shift and that night was the first of many - over the two weeks which had followed - that she had found herself sobbing in Kate's arms on the sofa, while desperately trying not to let Kate know why she was truly so upset about Dylan dismissal.
She could feel those same feelings rising in her as she considered her current predicament, waiting on her husband explain why he had never filed for a divorce - she knew why she hadn't - but Dylan didn't seem to care for her the way he once had, or at least the way he once had her believe.
From the corner of his eye he noticed two things: firstly just how broken and hurt his wife looked as she sat there waiting on his answer and secondly, the way in which Zoe had opened the staff room door and quickly closed it again, after her attention was grabbed by the conversation he and Sam were having, well not having as the case may be. He had hurriedly returned his attention to Sam, yet he could shake the look of utter devastation which had crossed her face, when he looked from her to Zoe - and that alone, could give him hope.
Somewhere in the corners of his mind, he had concluded that he had to put himself on the line, no matter where it got him, after he'd said the words: "I'm just not sure that I'm ready for you not to be Mrs Keogh yet." The moment the words had left his mouth he found himself hurriedly looking away from the blonde sitting inches away from him.
She had shifted slightly on the sofa to sit nearer to him, and let her head drop onto his shoulder, as both her hands found their way around his upper arm and she simply clung onto him letting her eyes shut peacefully. "I'm not ready to stop being Mrs Keogh yet either."
While he had no idea where these particularly announcements would leave them, when Sam began to speak again: "I feel a bit sick actually." He knew that to anyone else, these words would have seemed odd. He, also, realised that she was answering his question, with a truthfully answer and the not the snappy retort he'd been given earlier when she wasn't certain if he was asking because he felt he had to or because he was genuinely concerned. However as he concluded that he could take comfort from the fact that he'd had shown her he still cared enough for her to let her guard down and admit weakness in front of him, once again, he moved her hands while moving both their positions in order to wind an arm around her so she could rest against his chest and he could drop a kiss to her forehead.
Um.. Okay, so the Sound of Music soundtrack seemed to be involved with the ending of this chapter; which is why it possibly seems a little too sentimental.
But, yeah, thanks for reading.
Anny. X.
