A massive thank you to Ming-sama, black wolf-kot, Lirin Sama, , Tootchy, Echo in the dark and Kinomyia for your reviews!
Wow, it's an update! (dies) What can I say, it accidentally grew a plot.
Warning, this chapter contains quite a bit of swearing, including the f and c words. Blame Kai.
Enjoy!
If he overheard one more stupid joke about how he had ended up with scratches on his face, Kai was going to lose his temper. Thank God they had had the weekend to heal to a point of only slight scabbiness, or he really would be going insane. He couldn't even explain it truthfully, as he assumed that the identical surname mean that some relative of Tyson's was his landlord. The luck.
Despite the fact that the cat had wounded him, irritated him at least once a day, and brought him a live mouse this morning that he had been forced to chase around the kitchen for half an hour, he couldn't bring himself to even pretend that he wanted it gone.
He needed to buy a house. How long had he been saying that now? Years? Rent was a pain, but more convenient than all the shit about getting on the property ladder and deposits and mortgages (like he needed more massive debt after the thousands he racked up at uni).
That and, well, he'd always sort of thought that houses were for couples.
There was a knock on his office door, accidentally pushing it half-open. He called for whoever it was to come in, and breathed a sigh of relief when it was Max. On his own, Max was a decent enough man. Alan, too. It was just when they were around the childish duo of Tyson and Andrew that they got on his nerves.
"Yeah?"
Max shuffled nervously, holding Kai's gaze by determination alone. "Tala says Kevin's waiting to see you, Kai." He even dropped the accepted 'Mr Hiwatari' in his anxiety.
Kai winced. Then he remembered the scratches on his cheek and swore a blue streak inside his head.
"Why are you telling me this, and not my receptionist? Didn't know I'd demoted you," he pointed out, shoving his anger briefly at Max. Max chuckled awkwardly.
"He came straight into the communal office. Something about finally getting your attention." The sharpness in Max's eyes as he said the last few words didn't pass Kai by, and he remembered with a lot of pride and a little guilt that he had told the receptionist and Max and the others to make excuses for him. They had held the persistent little shit off for a week. A week. It was an impressive feat.
"So when you say he's waiting for me ..." He bypassed the acknowledgement that Max had clearly been expecting. Max clenched his teeth together before admitting,
"He's just outside."
"And Tala?"
Max tipped his head back briefly and with the screwed-up expression of someone expecting impending death, recited,
"Tala says that Kenny says that Kevin has started trying to hack into our systems. So Tala says get rid of him or else."
Kai fought the urge to punch something. "If he's hacked us, call the police or something!"
"Should do." It was a flat, bland reply. Max was suddenly staring at his ear rather than look him in the eye. Kai did punch the desk then; he knew that look. It said "No matter how much I agree with you and know that you're my boss, your boss ordered me to do this."
"Fine," he said through gritted teeth. "Send him in." Without another word, his cheeks red, Max turned and left. Kai debated what punishment he was going to dole out for that ... that going behind his back-ness. It felt rather like he'd just lost his only remaining ally. He immediately loathed himself for such wet thinking, and tried to forget that he had once called Max his "only reliable subordinate."
"So, the great manager will see me now!" Kevin sauntered into the room. His grin looked confident, but it was belied by his continual fiddling with his thick green hair.
Tala wanted him sorted? Happily.
"Sit the fuck down," he snarled. Taken aback, Kevin hovered uncertainly between the comfy chair in the corner and the wicker chair pulled up to the desk. "Any seat, you worthless little hacker."
Understanding gleamed in Kevin's golden eyes and he opened his mouth to protest even as he sank without protest into the little wicker chair. Kai was going to cut him off brutally, but something had just hit him like a brick to the face.
Kevin looked like Ray. Not much; he was short and skinny where Ray was Kai's height and muscular, and the hair colour was very different, but it was the shape and skin colour of the face, and most of all those eyes.
Glacial calm descended.
"Now, here's your problem," he said, his voice like the slide of silk on ice. "You're trying to access confidential information illegally. You're not having any success, because our IT security is run by someone much cleverer than you. Well done anyway, it's a step up from abusive emails."
Kevin scowled. Kai narrowed his eyes. "Why shouldn't I ring the police right now?"
Kevin laughed. "You wouldn't dare."
Kai raised his eyebrows, honestly confused. Exactly what was stopping him? However, his bluff had been called and he wasn't about to back down now. He picked up his phone and began to dial the number of the police station. Tala could say what he wanted, he didn't care. Kevin went white.
"Don't!" he gasped. Kai replaced the phone, satisfied.
"Look," he said in an attempt at pretending to be reasonable, even as anger ran boiling and freezing through his veins, "this is easily sorted. I'm getting really, really pissed off at how often I'm hearing about you." The threat of the police appeared to have struck Kevin dumb, so Kai continued. "Yes, we sacked you. You deserved it. Yes, we drove you and your friend's business to bankruptcy." He smiled. "That's just business. You should have been better."
"But-"
"So, yes, if you make any sort of contact here with anyone from the director to the cleaners, then I'll ring the police. And at least, I'll tell them the truth."
"Y-you wouldn't lie!" Kevin stuttered. Kai shrugged.
"It's not lying if you can prove it.
Kevin left the room a pale, quivering mess. Kai was pleased. Job well done.
Now, who to handle first? Max or Tala?
Tala, while he was still running on mind-clearing anger. Face-to-face would be best, but then he'd have to find where he was and send a messenger to organise a meeting. Fuck that. He picked up the phone again and dialled Tala's private mobile phone number.
"Kevin sorted?" Tala answered by way of greeting. Oh, the joys of Caller ID, Kai thought bitterly.
"Yes."
"Completely."
"Don't question my competence. Why hasn't he been arrested yet, Ivanov?"
"Because that's not how I wanted it handled."
"Why not?"
"Enough questions, Kai."
"Fuck you!" Oops, he hadn't intended to say that out loud. Go with it. "Whatever you're hiding, bastard, you'd better fucking well tell me or I'll just go straight to the police next time he turns up - and I'll mention your reluctance to involve them before, see what they make of that!"
"He shouldn't turn up if you've done it right." Kai was momentarily too furious to speak. Only momentarily.
"You are such a cunt."
Tala sighed. "You're angry, Kai. I know you like how you are when you're like this and there are times when a bit of ruthlessness comes in handy, but this is not one of them. It makes you a shit businessman. Either calm down or go home. Actually, just go home."
"What the fuck?"
"Seriously. Have the rest of the day off. Just don't kill anyone and get caught."
After ascertaining that Tala was indeed serious and not going insane, Kai imagining throwing the phone against the wall so hard that it disintegrated. Since that would have cost him money, he managed to restrain himself.
He felt like he was watching himself from outside his body, as he gently put the phone back down and gathered together what he would take home with him. That done, he saw himself pick up the stuff and leave the office. He came briefly back to himself in order to find Max, but popped straight back out to observe with utter detachment as the glare directed at Max made the blond turn dead white and everyone else uncomfortable. At a push, he remembered getting into and out of the car. Not the journey, but he must have driven because he was home. And then he was inside. He felt that he should care about the memory gaps, but didn't. The cat rubbed up against his leg. He ignored it and headed for the toilet.
Blackness.
Kai woke up because the cat was licking his face. Or, to be precise, because his semi-conscious mind had thrown up an old saying of his cat-hating grandfather's, "If you die alone, a dog will guard you and mourn. A cat, if you die alone, will eat your eyeballs."
That woke him up quickly.
"'M not dead, you psycho," he mumbled, creaking open one eye enough to see the cat stare at him curiously. His cheek felt raw. Great. Now he'd have marks on both cheeks. The world was clearly telling him something.
He felt sick. Headache, too, and as tired as hell. He would love to be able to tell himself that he didn't know what had just happened. Unfortunately, he knew only too well. So all-consuming did his anger become when he really got in a rage that any attempt at controlling it simply overloaded his psyche, causing first dissociation, then blackouts. Lovely.
A quick look at his watch confirmed that he had been unconscious for nearly an hour; it was nearly six o'clock. Oh, this just got better.
The evening passed in a fog. Crappy TV, crappy food, mechanically following whatever orders the cat yowled at him; waiting for his brain to click back into gear again. Not bothering to think about the possible ramifications of the first blackout he'd had in three years, what it meant, what it implied in the way of necessary future action. None of that, just stroke the cat, let the cat eat most of his meal, stroke the cat, get drooled on by the cat. Think about shower. Nah. Stumble into bed.
So tired was he that for the first night since meeting him, he didn't think even fleetingly of Ray before sleep pulled him under.
The day afterwards, he turned up for work at normal time. His head still felt like someone had put it through a mangle, but still. He would be damned if he'd take a day off work just for ... for his anger thing.
As soon as he was settled back in his office, he called Max in. Expecting to see hunched shoulders and a bowed head, it came as a surprise when Max came in all blue-eyed concern and asked before he could even say anything,
"Are you ok?"
He must look stupid, staring dumbly at Max like he was, but he didn't think he'd ever been more wrong-footed in his life. He could hardly have been more surprised if Max had come in and stripped naked while singing football chants. Didn't he know he'd been pulled in for a bollocking?
"Yeah, I'm fine," he replied at last. Then, irresistibly; "Why?"
Max shifted his weight from one leg to the other uncomfortably and began a first class babble. "Only, that you looked, yesterday, I mean, you looked really, really angry and you know, that's maybe understandable given Kevin, but, it's just that you looked ill, too. Tyson agreed." His swallowing was both visible and audible. "We thought you might be having a migraine or something."
A very, very big part of Kai wanted to just plough on with what he had planned and completely ignore what had just been said, but some tiny traitorous brain cell was weirdly comforted, and kicked him into answering,
"Something like that."
Max looked massively relieved that he hadn't been snapped at. "So, are you ok now?"
"Yeah." He thought that might be a lie, but what the hell, if he lied enough he might convince himself. Impetus completely gone, he somehow ended up making his lecture sound teasing, rather than stern and bastardly. Max went red and beamed at the unexpected friendliness.
He'd forgotten how attractive he found Max. The realisation that his gaze was lingering on his smiling lips and big, sparkling blue eyes longer than was appropriate shocked him back into gruffness, so he was able to tell Max to "Get out, Tate," with an entirely straight face. Laughing uncertainly, Max did so.
Then when Tala stormed in an hour later, Kai found himself foregoing paying attention to what he was saying, instead admiring his boss' tall, slim physique and the stunning contrast between his ghostly skin and tomato ketchup hair. Swearing at himself, he made a mental note to Google some pornography that evening and get this out of his system. A lot of pornography.
It was all Ray's fault.
That didn't help his concentration either.
Eventually he focused enough to hear the tail-end of a textbook "disappointed in you" speech.
"Won't happen again," he muttered, twirling a pen between his index and middle fingers.
"That's just the problem, Kai, it will!" Tala's voice had lost its chilly, hectoring tone and now sounded disturbingly earnest. "Admittedly I've never seen you as bad as you were yesterday - I presume that's why you look like shit today, by the way - but you still go off your head with anger on a fairly regular basis. It's all the more noticeable for how self-controlled and taciturn you are on an everyday basis."
Kai stayed sullenly silent. Tala sighed heavily and sat down on the comfortable chair in the corner of the room. "Look, Kai. I knew you had this personality disorder when I had you promo-"
"It's not a personality disorder!" He didn't even care that his voice had squeaked, so intense was his disbelieving embarrassment. Tala crossed his legs and wiggled one foot in a complete circle before speaking again.
"It's not a recognised personality disorder, no, but personally I think it should qualify. It's maladaptive for you and unpleasant for everyone around you."
"So you don't use it for your own ends or anything like that?" Kai slammed his chair back into the wall behind him and stood. Blood thundered in his ears, so he shouted over it. "You didn't make quite sure that I was wound up enough to scare Kevin shitless, at Max's expense?" Tala looked at him with a completely expressionless face. "You're nothing but a manipulative, exploitative cunt, Ivanov!"
Tala closed his eyes as if he couldn't look at Kai. "I'm getting de ja vu. I hoped you would see it differently."
Kai knew he was losing it again but really didn't care. If there was ever justification, this was it.
"See what differently? You come in here and call me mentally unstable when you know I'm nothing of the fucking sort, you know exactly how good I am - what you fucking doing, angling for a new tick on the positive discrimination box? Open your eyes and look at me when I'm speaking, you - ah."
He couldn't hear anything over the sound of blood crashing in his veins. The world went grey and soft before his eyes, and he felt himself crumple to the floor behind his desk. Shit, not again, he thought dizzily. He clung to consciousness with every fibre of his being.
"Kai!" The brief sound of running footsteps and suddenly Tala was crouched down beside him, his face just a white blob. "Can you hear me?"
"Yes," he tried to reply, but it came out as a low grunt.
"Ok, just stay calm." Normally, in Kai's experience, when people said that, they really were saying it to themselves, but Tala did look almost entirely composed. He disappeared from Kai's line of vision, and next thing he knew his legs were being propped onto his chair. "See what that does."
Gradually, his senses came back to him. He moved his legs off the chair and started to sit up. Tala took hold of his shoulders and told him "Easy, now," in a low voice. Burning with humiliation, he shrugged away those hot, bony hands and wedged his shoulders against the desk until the dizziness had receded enough to let him support himself.
Fucking shitting Christ. This felt like being eleven again, when a string of slurs against his mother and father had led to the antagonist bleeding from the nose and mouth, and eventually resulted in just this situation, with one of the older boys, someone who Kai particularly admired to make it even worse, playing Tala's part.
Sweat was drying cold and sticky on his face and he was shivering. Weirdly, he felt worse than he had upon coming round yesterday. Maybe it was a cumulative thing. Maybe he shouldn't have come into work today.
"You shouldn't have come into work today," Tala lectured, putting one hand briefly on his forehead then surreptitiously wiping it on his jeans. Kai smirked. "It's not funny, Kai!"
There was a knock on the door. Tala had closed it when he came in - just as well - but now it opened. "Kai? I've got those reports you wanted Andrew to fax through - Kai?" It was Max. Kai felt his self-control slide again at the sheer horror of it all. Why Max?
"Go away, Tate," he called, battling to keep his voice wobble-free. Max had clearly completely ignored him, because his voice sounded closer when he asked,
"Kai, what's wrong? Do you need -"
In one sinuous movement, Tala sprang to his feet. His sudden appearance from behind the desk shocked Max into silence. In a voice that grew steadily more arctic, Tala said,
"I'm dealing with Kai. He'll be fine. Put the faxes by the door and get out or I'll sack you."
"But-"
"Now."
The door closed. Kai heaved a sigh of relief and used the desk to pull himself up so that he could slump down into his chair. Tala perched on the desk and stared at him from far too close. Their knees were almost touching.
"Does this happen a lot, Kai?" His voice suggested very strongly that he wasn't to be trifled with anymore. Kai shrugged.
"No. Not often. Something similar happened yesterday, when I got home." He met Tala's eyes with difficulty as he ventured, "I probably shouldn't have come into work today, no." Tala barked a disbelieving laugh.
"So finally we agree." He tapped his knee thoughtfully. "Right then. Got no choice, now. Neither do you."
"What?"
"Take a week's sick leave - at least - or I really will sack you."
All Kai could do was stare at Tala's serious face and wonder how he had suddenly sunk into so much shit.
Ok.
Um.
Yes.
No Ray.
You can lynch me now.
But hey, now Kai's set up to spend lots of time with Ray. xD I was a little annoyed that Kai insisted on diving back into my normal territory of drama and angst, so sorry about that. I'll dig myself out, promise.
Ray will be in the next chapter. I super-promise. With flirtation and everything, and a date. I have it all planned in my head. It just that like I said, this went and grew a teeny tiny plot, so it needed a bit of foundation laid down. I think you'll get your hawt!boy-sex in about two chapters' time. I could be wrong. I ususally am.
From worship to flames, all opinions welcome. Thank you for reading!
xIlbx
