"Mom, where's Dad?" asked Cream.
Vanilla smiled anxiously. "He's still away on a trip, Sweetie."
A Goldfish suddenly appeared.
"Really now?" said Goldine. "I could have sworn he's still in the hospital from carrot overdosing."
Cream and Vanilla cried.
Goldine documented the conversation in her palm pilot.
-- Shadow
"Why did you attack the children, Shadow?" asked the Psychiatrist.
"Well, attacking the elderly got boring after a while, while the children can try to escape faster which makes them more fun to catch and punch," responded Shadow.
"Was it necessary to escort the battered children home and then graphically explain to their parents how you beat their children?"
"The answer is yes," said Shadow.
"I thought you were a neutral character?" asked the Psychiatrist.
"Off and on," responded Shadow.
The sound of water dripping was heard.
"So you beat up innocent children, Shadz?" said a voice.
Shadow looked around. "Am I gonna have to shoot you, Voice?"
The voice disappeared.
("I'm not touching that one,") thought Goldine, fearing her life.
-- Sonic
"Thanks for letting me stay at your house 'til my fur grows back, Tails," said a naked Sonic, sitting at the kitchen table.
"No problem, Sonic," Tails smiled.
"I never knew my family passed down a spontaneous shedding trait," sighed Sonic. "At least nobody else will find out."
There was a knock at the front door.
"I'll get it," said Tails.
Wait, Tails!" said Sonic trying to cover up.
Tails opened the door, and various cameramen and news reporters rushed into the kitchen where Sonic was.
Goldine appeared in the kitchen sink. "Sonic, the media found out about your shedding problem somehow, and they were anxious to hear the story from your mouth. I knew you were shy about your condition so I led them here to give you confidence."
Hundreds of camera clicks and flashing lights occurred.
"How will this affect your relationship with Amy Rose?" asked one reporter.
"Which headline do you prefer: 'Sonic, the nudest thing alive' or 'bottoms up, reproductive organs out'?" asked another reporter.
Sonic turned red with fury and embarrassment.
"He's going to evolve!" said a Pokemon fan.
-- Amy Rose
"These furless newspaper pictures of Sonikku are soooo adorable," Amy said while hanging them on the wall with care.
All around the room there were thousands of Sonic pictures. Ones developed by Sonic Team. Ones photoshopped with Amy now in them. Ones of Sonic recolored and called a different character.
"What an interesting room theme you have," said Goldine.
"How'd you get in here?" asked Amy.
"All that matters is I've alerted the insane asylum of your collection, and they say you've met the prerequisite for being locked up."
Amy reddened and took out her hammer. "I'm not insane!!!"
Men in white came in and bagged Amy. They took her away.
"I'd like to believe I just made the world a little safer," said Goldine.
-- Omochao
"Time to find out how to beat the new Sonic game," said Omochao while sitting at a desk. He got out a laptop. G.o.o.g.l.e.c.o.m. ...okay, and I'm here."
Omochao stared at the computer screen. "Hmm..what to search for?...how about 'Sonic Rivals 3 tips.'" After the search. "IGN says you 'push the X button to jump.' Better remember that."
Water fell onto the keys. A goldfish bowl soon fell onto the keys as well. "So...you get your advice from searching google, huh?" Goldine smiled.
Omochao panicked, "Uh no, I...uh...just.."
"It seems if this is how you do your job...then maybe Sonic Team should just have a floating google sign telling Sonic characters what to do in the games."
"Please don't tell! I'll never do this again! I promise!!" begged Omochao.
"Unfortunately, Goldine dot com has already received this information and is working as we speak. Ta Ta," Goldine said then vanished.
END
The phone rang. Omochao gulped and picked it up.
"What am I paying you for?!" screamed the Head Director. "Google's getting your next pay check."
