no such thing as time.

Chapter three.

a/n: so first off, sorry that the last chapter was sort of rough. the amount of errors was mostly because I had an earthquake near my house yesterday. I was writing alone, in the dark, on pins and needles, waiting for aftershock. (very scary.) I'm not exactly sure how to edit on this website yet so if anyone would like to explain, that would be great.

Now to the lighter side of life, I would like to thank dharma-queen2342 (yet another fantastic username) for the lovely review. It looks like I'll be continuing this, so thanks for inspiring me!

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the words on the page.

….

It was in the middle of the night when Charlie was awoken to a strange tingling feeling beneath his muscles. He slowly opened his eyes and saw Claire with her gorgeous face framed by blond curls and a hint of a smile on her lips, totally content. She lay beside him with his twitching arms wrapped around her. He tried to move his head off the pillow but was overwhelmed by a wave of heat and nausea. He lay his head back down in defeat, the plastic bag in his shoe feeling heavier and more heavenly by the moment. God, he wanted it. He wanted it so bad.

The only thing worse than craving heroin was actually using it. Yeah, it felt good at first. Hell, it felt bloody fantastic! But then after the high wore off the guilt would set in and then he hated himself even more than usual. But this wasn't about him, this was about Claire and Aaron. He would never, ever do that to them, he couldn't hurt them.

A few hours back Claire had wanted clarity on the motives behind his death at the looking glass station. He had supplied her honest answers explaining Desmond's vision and the chance at rescue. Although he told the story with extreme modesty, Claire seemed very touched. She had called him a hero. Him? A hero? That's what stung. She still saw him as the man he was on the island, but despite the memory his many issues hadn't just miraculously vanished. The memory of his former redeemed self didn't change the fact that a little baggie of brown sugar was burning a hole in his checkerboard vans.

He still was in fact, the most undeserving man in the history of the world, ever.

A complete waste of a human being who could never come close to deserving her beauty, goodness, and virtue or the innocence of her child. Yes, he loved them. He loved them so fervently yet so purely. It seemed so innocent but he knew at the heart of it, the act had to be selfish. Letting himself love them when he didn't deserve them was selfish. Letting her love him was even worse. Nice girls like her didn't end up with washed up, druggies like him. Maybe they would try and live on the wild side and hang around one, maybe they would spend a night with one all for the adventure and intrigue, maybe they would dare to believe they could change one, or hope for a chance at love. But then they would get their hearts broken once they realized the brutal reality of life with a so called, "bad boy" and come to their senses. He wasn't joking when he told Claire just how worthless men could be back on the island, what she didn't know was how much he meant it. Guys like him were worthless.

What he couldn't understand was why in the world she would want to put up with his emotional roller coaster. Why would she want to put up with all his baggage and unpredictable behavior when she could have a nice, kind, smart man? He would be clean cut and strait laced with a stable job, the kind of guy you'd actually want to bring home to mum, one that would look picture perfect in all the Christmas cards. He would take her out to fancy dinners and buy her sparkling jewelry, he would be a great father to Aaron, he would be a good example. Someone Claire would actually want Aaron to look up to.

He couldn't understand why she would choose a moody man who acts like a child and never does anything right over that.

He felt a sharp pain in his stomach. Despite his mental and physical pain he forced himself to get up out of the bed and he quickly ran to the bathroom. He then proceeded to give in to the sickness that had been developing in his mind. Mustering the little strength he still obtained, Charlie moved his shivering body to lean up against the wall. At first he tried to convince himself that he was just hungry. After all, ever since his brush with death on the plane all he had consumed was heroin, Chinese take out, and a large quantity of alcohol. But the truth came to harsh for denial when he felt a rush of cold and threw up again. He was beginning withdrawal and not Claire, Aaron, or even the memory of his redeemed self could stop it.

Hoping to make the dizziness subside, he laid down on the firm ground. It didn't work the pain remained constant. He closed his eyes and then felt a cold sensation beneath him, he opened his eyes to see water ruthlessly filling the bathroom through an open window. In a panic he stood up and ran towards the door, grabbing the knob and twisting it with all his might. It was to no avail, the door was locked.

Charlie began to panic as he watched the water grow higher. As he frantically looked around the room for anything useful, he noticed his own bold, uppercase handwriting written across the palm of his hand reading' "not penny's boat."

The waves beat against him and a familiar, Scottish voice calling his name rang loudly in his head. He blinked hard, trying desperately to fight off the sudden need for sleep engulfing him. He attempted to thrust his body at the thick door. He continued to do so while yelling for help until all his strength was gone.

Then every thing went black.

Okay, I know, I know. That was disappointingly short. I'm so very sorry. (Please forgive me.) But I already have the next chapter written out and it'll be typed and published tomorrow. The next chapter is focused on Claire's reaction to Charlie's withdrawal, I'm actually pretty excited about it.

Reviews would be very encouraging, I obviously like happy reviews the most but I don't even mind critique as long as it's constructive.

Thanks again darlings.