AN- Yes, I stole this from Pirates of the Caribbean 4. No judging. It seems to fit pretty well.

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Emma was at the point of pulling her hair out. No, it wasn't Gold. He and Belle were living blissfully. It wasn't Regina either. She had mellowed out after Neverland, taking Henry every couple of days. Their arrangement was basically with whoever he wanted to go with. He switched off to be fair and today he was with Regina.

It wasn't Snow or Charming either. They were happily trying for another child. And while seeing their obnoxious grins all the time was a bit grating, that wasn't even the issue.

It wasn't work. After the curse was broken, people had basically settled down. There were some occasional squabbles, "He took my chicken!" or "He confiscated my hoe!". Emma had tried not to laugh hysterically at that last one. She occasionally had to tell Dr Whale that it wasn't kosher to operate drunk but otherwise, the town wasn't doing too bad. Besides, Ruby was getting him to clean up anyway.

It wasn't Neal either. After Tamara's death and the whole, "I love you but I basically wish you were dead" thing, well, he cleared off back to New York. He said he'd come back for the holidays but Emma was pretty clear on where they stood. He knew he was always welcome with Henry's care, but a few weeks after the Neverland voyage, he packed up and knocked on Emma's door to say farewell. She had a twisting sensation in her heart but seeing his form walking away, well, she felt relieved. Henry took it better than she thought. Actually he took it the best. "Well of course Mom. He wasn't your True Love." She could see the capital letters as he spoke. He loved his dad but it was pretty clear he and Emma had a special relationship. He'd always choose her. So it wasn't Henry either.

It wasn't even Hook. Their...thing...whatever it was was going slowly. As he said, he was a patient man and it was a good thing he liked a challenge. Slowly was the key word. Aside from the kiss she'd planted on him the day after they landed, there wasn't much going on. And that was ok. She was a glacial relationship type of girl at least when it came to feelings. There was that one time the day after they landed back in Storybrooke. She had walked up the gangplank, pinned him to the main mast and gave no quarter. It wasn't like their Neverland kiss, all hot, desperate and full of longing. This was more chaste, still wild but more comfortable. More familiar. Her hands had twisted behind his neck and she could feel his hook on her low back as his good hand snaked up through her hair.

"Another one time thing, Swan?" He asked, eyes dark after sundown. He was obviously enjoying himself but after his whole, "I didn't think I'd love another woman again" well, understandably she'd been a bit jittery. He didn't want to push.

But a man unwilling to fight for what he wants deserves what he gets. Hook was fighting as hard as she'd let him.

"Not unless you want it to be." She looked up at him nervously. His face broke into a Cheshire grin and clamped down on her mouth again with gusto.

"Love, I'd like nothing more than to wake up with you in my bed every morning."

She flushed and whacked him in the chest. "Don't get ahead of yourself, buddy. Let's see how this goes."

So no, it wasn't Hook either.

So why was Emma so frustrated?

It was pretty simple actually.

She had a song stuck in her head.

Not just any song. A song about pirates.

It was one of those really catchy tunes that infiltrates the corners of your mind and just latches on and will not let go until it's replaced by an equally catchy tune.

So when Emma went to the Jolly Roger that night with it cycling in her head for a few days, well, she was a bit twitchy. Henry actually asked his grandmother if his mom was having her 'time of the month'. She was not. Actually, she really resented the implication.

"Emma, love, you look annoyed." They were on the deck of the Jolly and it was a warm night for the fall. There was a slight breeze across the deck, barely enough to fluff the sails. Emma had decided on dinner on the deck. Burgers from Granny's weren't much but he was taking to modern food pretty well. She picked at her fries absentmindedly.

"I'm not, I'm good."

Hook rolled his eyes, which is actually pretty comical for a pirate wearing eyeliner.

"I'd say you look more than just good." Hook eyeballed her up and down in his usual cocky I-can-seduce-you-with-just-my-hook mannerisms. "Tell me the truth. Is it Henry?" Emma was touched. Henry seemed to love Hook, and not just in a "you're a pirate and that's SO COOL" way. No, both seemed genuinely fond of each other. It was a mystery to Hook too. He had never dreamed of being a father figure past Bae. Henry always wanted to hang out with Hook and show him his story book. Not that he would ever tell Emma but he'd teach the boy to steer the Jolly yet.

"No, he's with Regina tonight. He's fine unless you know something I don't."

"Work?" Hook frowned. He didn't like the idea that she was the only one guarding the town but he chalked that up to a 'savior' thing.

"No, that's good too."

"Love, then why do you look a mermaid gutted your dog?"

She flushed again. "It's really stupid," He motioned with his hook for her to go on.

"I have a song stuck in my head."

Beat.

"That's what's causing you to be grumpier than that dwarf?" He laughed long and loud.

"Go on then, let's hear it."

"Hear what?"

"The song that's driving you insane, darling."

"Hook, I am not a singer. At all. When I was in school they used to put me in the back of the classroom."

He put down his glass of rum. "Swan. I want to hear it."

"If your ears start bleeding then it's your own fault."

She cleared her throat and looked out over the water.

"My heart is pierced by Cupid

I disdain all glittering gold

There is nothing can console me

But my jolly sailor bold."

Hook had a curious look on his face. "Love, do you know any more of that song?"

She looked up in surprise. "Do you know it?"

"I heard of it a long time ago in port. The bar owner's wife was singing it to my crew as we were drinking. My question is, where did you hear it?"

"It's in a movie from a few years back. I watched it the other day and it won't leave my head."

"No wonder. Clearly it reminds you of me." Hook had the look of a preening peacock.

"What makes you think you're my jolly sailor bold?" Emma looked him in the eye with a sly smile.

"Because I took my ship through a portal for you, fought off a vicious child, helped to rescue your son, saved your life multiple times and your family's, and got you home safely."

"Oh, is that all?"

"Well, love, because a man who fights for what he wants deserves what he gets."

Hook pulled Emma over into his lap and placed a kiss on her. She instantly flooded with warmth.

"And there are no other sailors around here."

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