Anakin pulled his short Jedi robe tighter around his body, letting out a long breath of air that seemed to almost freeze in front of him. He was regretting not paying more attention to Obi-wan when they had first come in: maybe he had said something about how to find his crystal that he hadn't heard. Anakin wasn't sure what Master Obi-wan expected though, before they had come here, he had never seen snow before, and never, not on Tatooine, not on Naboo, not in his brief stay on Coruscant, had Anakin ever been this cold.

But as he walked, he understood what his new master had said about this place. He felt the energy coming from the walls, it seemed to reach out to his fingertips, to curl through his bones and around his body. It was pure energy, not the exciting, buzzing energy he felt when podracing, or when he had destroyed the droid carrier on Naboo. It was calming, something soothing that for the first time quieted the excitement that seemed to always be swirling around in his brain.

He moved through the caves, trying to reach out with the force as Obi-wan had instructed. He sighed and pulled his robes tighter, to be honest, he wasn't exactly sure how that was supposed to work. That was one of the most infuriating things about his life as a Jedi, all of the others, the Padawan's, the knights, the masters, even the younglings, seemed to be perfectly in tune with their force abilities. He could feel its power surging through him, feel the strength it gave him when training or flying, but physically using it, and especially meditating on it was difficult. The second most infuriating thing was Obi-wan's ability to meditate for what felt like hours, never moving, never speaking, never acknowledging Anakin.

Unless by some miracle of patience, Anakin managed to find his simple force connection, he would usually, within about half an hour of sitting, open his eyes to see Obi-wan deep in his meditative state. He would watch him master, trying to imitate the relaxed, emotionless state of his features. It never worked. Instead, despite the fact that he knew that Obi-wan would know he had gotten up, he would start to wonder around their apartment, fiddling with the mechanics pieces he collected on his trips through the temple. He would hear Obi-Wan sigh, and shortly after, he would be done tinkering with the droid parts and the pair of them would move somewhere else through the temple.

He stopped now, his frustration mounting. The entire cave looked the same! It was just endless chasms of thick plated ice. He felt himself becoming frustrated, his mind buzzing as he tried to reach out with the force. He thought back to all Obi-wan had bene trying to tell him, and let out a long breath. If he relaxed, if he was calm, maybe he would feel it. He tried to let go of the fear he held about not being able to find his crystal at all.

He let it go, breathing it out, and for the first time, felt something pulling him forward, into a division of caves that had looked dark and ominous beforehand. His eyes opened, he moved forward down the walls, and for the first time, he could see the faint glows of blue, green, purple, and red were incased in the ice around him. They hummed with life, with heat and energy, but not caught the glow he knew he was supposed to be searching for. And even now, surrounded by crystals, he felt the force pull him down another hallway.

And he saw it, small glint against the clear cuts of ice. Only a few feet away. He smiled against the cold, pure joy running through him. He could be a Jedi after all. He stepped forward to grab it, and the ice cave around him faded.

The cold, too, seemed to evaporate where he stood, instead the hot, dry suns of Tatooine, the desert wind blowing through his now short hair came to his mind. He was in Mos Eisley. Though no shapes came to mind, no forms except that of his mother, standing in front of him, and behind her, tall, and alive, was Qui-Gon Jinn.

His heart soared, he wanted to race to them, but something in the force held him back. His own body would not move, and he wanted to cry in frustration. He tried to move his legs, but they seemed rooted to the glassy floor, and as he watched, his mother began to frown. Come here, Ani. Come on.

"I'm trying." He wanted to yell, but even as he tried again to move, she began to fade into the background of his image. And as he watched, Qui-Gon began to fall into the lifeless form he had seen of him as Obi-wan had carried him out of the hangar on Naboo. Why couldn't you save me, Anakin? He heard Qui-Gon ask as the form of his body fell to the ground. If you are so powerful, why could you not save me?

And both vanished in a swirl of almost magic, Anakin thought, and the calming effect the cave had had on him disappeared with them. Instead, he could feel a buzzing rushing through his blood, like it was a part of him all along. He kept his eyes on the crystal, and his legs, no longer too heavy to move, jerked forward, carrying him to it. But as he stepped forward, and reached out his hand, Obi-wan appeared in front of him.

You disappoint me, Anakin. The Obi-wan said. Anakin froze, and looked up into his master's eyes. They were not kind, or strained with patience as they had been recently. They were cold, calculating, cruel. I never should have taken you as my apprentice.

He wanted to protest, but as he had done with his mother, he had nothing to say in his own defense. The words would not come to him, the cold bit again into his skin as Obi-wan blocked his way to his crystal, its light seeming to fade the longer he stood there.

I didn't want you to begin with. Obi-wan continued, his voice sharp and condescending. Another Padawan would have been better. You are too weak. Anakin could feel tears come to his eyes, and freeze there like his breath had. His bit his lip, trying his best to strengthen his resolve, and in a last, desperate attempt, thrust a hand through the form of his master and fastened his fingers around the crystal.

Instantly, it vanished, the buzzing ceased, and a warmth spread through his hand. He looked around, watching to see if anything else was coming for him, before, with a speed he didn't know he possessed, he ran back towards the entrance of the caves.

There he found Obi-wan, perched on a rock, meditating quietly, Master Qui-Gon's lightsaber placed next to him. Anakin knew that a good apprentice would not disturb him, but he felt his anger boil up at all of the things the apparition of Obi-wan had said to him, and he realized he was desperate to leave this place. "Did you find your crystal?" Obi-wan spoke before Anakin had the chance to interrupt him.

"Yes." He said, reaching down to feel it in his pocket. "Master Obi-wan." He added, again as an afterthought. "Can we go?" To his relief, Obi-wan stood, reclipping the lightsaber to his belt.

"Of course." He stood next to Anakin for a moment, and Anakin waited on him to do something. Put a hand on his shoulder maybe, or ask to see the crystal he had found. But as usual, Obi-wan was impossible to read, and did neither. "It is time to make your lightsaber."

Anakin, following his master, smiled. Despite everything that had happened, despite his visions and fears, had found his crystal. Surely that mean he was supposed to be a Jedi after all.