CHAPTER TWO: THE CURIOUS CASE OF FRANK FRATELLI

House gathered the troupes for debriefing. He gave them the low down on his newest Clinic dodge...uh, patient. Naturally he didn't know too much about the guy, so he just threw the file onto the desk and waited for one of the Ducklings to read it.

"Frank Fratelli, 45, presents with sudden pains throughout the body, broken limbs, and bloody nose." Cameron began reading off his symptoms.

"And no known cause for any of it," House explained. "So, how does a guy break his arm while watching television?"

"Brittle Bone Syndrome," Foreman replied, bored.

"Oh," House rolled his entire upper body, "why does everyone always jump to the obvious?"

"Sometimes a horse is just a horse House." Foreman reminded him.

"And sometimes it's a unicorn." House would love to find a unicorn, just once, just to see if they were real. He was a scientist. He needed proof of things like unicorns and fairies.

"What?" Cameron had missed what he was inferring?

"Maybe...oh, forget it. Run some tests, get some blood, do what you doctors do. I'm going to take a nap." House headed for his office.

"Unicorns?" Cameron queried as the trio of young doctors headed to room 517.

"He's House." Chase thought that was explanation enough.

"He's trying to make the case interesting. A simple case of Brittle Bone isn't worthy of his colossal ego." Foreman pushed open the door and stepped aside for Cameron to enter. Chase followed her, but got pushed aside by Foreman who strode in behind the young woman.

"Hi Frank," Cameron put on her talking to patients voice. "I'm Dr. Cameron. This is Dr. Foreman, and Dr. Chase."

"Three doctors. I didn't think I was that important." Frank Fratelli was a sturdy looking man. His temples here streaked with grey. The rest of his hair was a solid black. His rugged face was weather-worn, but happy. He did not seem like your typical frail Brittle Bone patient.

"All our patients are important Mr. Fratelli," Chase was trying to mimic Cameron's concerned doctor voice. He was fairly good with patients, but not as good as she was.

"I bet you say that to them all, too." Frank laughed. It was a hearty laugh, from deep down in his well fed belly. "Ouch!" His laugh was cut short by a sharp pain and he grabbed his chest quickly.

"Are you alright Frank?" Cameron was the first to react. She leaned in and checked the spot he was clutching.

"No, I'm fine. Old injury. Fell from some scaffolding a few months ago." Frank sounded embarrassed by the accident. He was a professional builder, had been for over 25 years. Professionals didn't fall off their scaffolding. Of course most of them didn't have sudden seizure like fits either.

"So, these 'fits' you have, when do they happen?" Foreman was all business. He was holding Frank's file, and as the man explained his accident, Foreman shuffled through the papers, noticing several other 'accidents' brought on by 'seizure like fits'.

"They happen all different times." Frank was tired of explaining this. Every time he ended up in the hospital, he suffered through a barrage of tests, not necessarily meant to find out what was really wrong with him, but meant to confirm what the doctor of the day assumes was wrong with him. "It's not epilepsy, or diabetes, or..."

"Yes, Mr. Fratelli, we know what it's not. We're here to figure out what it is." Foreman didn't need the play by play, he had every test and every guess made by every doctor Frank Fratelli had seen in the past year. "This all started...eight months ago?" Foreman flipped to the first incident.

"Yes, about eight months." Frank nodded.

"What were you doing when they started?" Cameron asked, anxious to participate.

"Nothing." Frank looked slightly sheepish.

"Frank, it will help us figure out what's going on with you if you tell us the truth." Cameron used a gentle tone, and placed her hand on his arm for effect. It worked.

Frank smiled up at the pretty girl. "I was taking a bath." He laughed at himself. "It soothes my aching muscles after a hard day on a job site."

"Was it a very hot bath?" Chase decided to stop leaning against the wall and join in.

"No hotter than normal." Frank had been through all this before.

"What about the second incident, the fractured rib?" Foreman went down the list.

"Walking through the park. I didn't trip, or get hit with a rouge baseball or attacked by a dog. I was just walking, down the paved path with my girlfriend." He'd pretty thoroughly covered that, so Foreman moved on to the next and next.

"Each case was totally different," Foreman informed House as the trio appeared in his office to tell him of their findings.

"No common link?" House milled that over in his head.

"Nothing. No person who was at each event, sometimes he was full, sometimes he was hungry, morning, noon, night, no patterns at all." Cameron spewed everything out before one of the boys could talk over her.

"Interesting." House got up.

"Are you going to talk to him?" Cameron asked eagerly. It was still early in her Fellowship, and she wanted desperately to sit in on a patient consult with House.

"Nope." House walked out into the hall.

"Where are you going?" Chase joined Cameron in following House.

"Lunch." House turned and looked at all three doctors now following in his wake like fuzzy little baby ducklings. "I don't eat with the staff." He turned and headed back down the hall leaving the three of them standing in the middle of the hall.

"What now?" Foreman, the newest kid on the block turned to the others.

"We wait for new orders," Chase said, shrugging. "Wanna get some lunch?" He was clearly talking to Cameron and not Foreman.

"I'm going to check on those tests." Cameron hurried off down the hall.

"She is so not into you," Foreman laughed and headed back into the office.

"Who said I was into her?" Chase followed.

"No one had to."

"So, what do you really think is wrong with this Fratelli guy?" Chase sat down and put his feet up on the table.

"Not sure. Could be neurological." Though Foreman couldn't think how.

"Could be lupis." Chase threw in, just to stay in the conversation.

"Lupus doesn't present like that."

"Either does brain damage." Chase countered.

"Guess we'll have to wait until after his highness has his lunch." Foreman opened up a newspaper and started reading.

House looked behind him. They were all gone. He turned down the hall and headed for room 517. He checked the hallway one last time before pushing open the door and walking in.

"Mr. Random Broken Bones," House greeted his patient.

"Fratelli." Frank narrowed his eyes as the tall, crumpled man with the cane. "And you would be?"

"I'm Dr. House."

"Just my luck," Frank closed his eyes and relaxed. It had been his experience that those who tried the hardest to look competent were usually hiding something. This guy was definitely not trying to look competent.

House pulled up a chair and sat down close to the patient's bed. Then he looked at the patient, and slid the chair back a few feet. "Just in case," he said cryptically as he sat down.

"Just in case of what?" Frank asked.

"I don't want to get hit." House pulled out his Gameboy and flipped it on.

"What are you doing?"

"Trying to beat my high score. You?" House began pounding away on the control pad.

"Trying not to die. Thanks for asking." Frank closed his eyes.

House nodded approvingly. Then he waited. He sat there the rest of the afternoon. Nothing happened with Frank, though several nurses came in to check on him, bring him food, and check on him again.

Cameron came by, House wasn't surprised at all. "What are you doing here?" She asked when she saw her boss sitting by the bed, his legs propped up on another chair.

"Level eight." House raised the Gameboy in case she couldn't see it. "It's a tricky one."

"You came in here to play your game?" Cameron was trying not to be disgusted.

"It's the only place I can get any peace and quiet." House watched his game intently, moving his body this way and that as she fired his weapons on the enemy.

"What about the patient?" Cameron hesitated using his name. She knew House didn't like that.

"He doesn't make too much noise. We have an understanding. Right Frankie?" House winked at Frank who was sleeping soundly in the bed.

"That's not what I meant." Cameron leaned in and whispered. "It's insensitive, using his room to hide out in."

"I told you, we have an understanding." House ignored her scolding look. Then an idea hit him. "But, since you insist." He smiled broadly and got up. "I'm going home. You can take the first shift, then Chase, then Foreman. I'll let them know on the way out."

"First shift?" Cameron stared at him in confusion.

"He's on 24 hour watch, until he has one of his episodes. I need see it firsthand."

"And you want me to sit here and wait for it to happen then call you so you can rush back to the hospital?"

"Nope. I want you to see it firsthand for me, or Foreman or Chase, don't much care which one of you it is. But pay attention. I want to know everything when I come in tomorrow morning. Night." House turned and hurried out the door. He whistled his way down the hall, past the diagnostics office that housed Foreman and Chase and into his office.

He left for the night, without saying a word to his team. He wondered how long Cameron would sit there, waiting for Chase to relieve her.

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