Beware of the craziness within the following chapter. It's your own doomed fate should you continue reading *duh duh duumm* Crack at it's finest.
An odd choking sound came out from beneath the two females.
Konekomaru pouted, "Why does Bon get all the girls?" Shima blinked at him,
"Dude, I was going to say that."
"I think Bon's dead." Rin said.
As soon as it had happened, it was over. Shiemi was pelted with Yukio's jacket from across the room (yes, he brought his jacket, but did not bother to wear it) with his harsh demand of, "Wear it!"
Happily complying, Shiemi pulled the jacket over her body and then slipped under the sheets on the nearest bunk bed, refusing to ever agree to anything like that ever again.
By now Shura peeled herself from Ryuji and collapsed facefirst into the floor. Izumo on the overhand withdrew from Ryuji to breathe, then staggered to her feet and took a sharp look around the room. "I...I need to..." She pointed to Konekomaru in her way-too-drunk state and snapped, "I need to punch a swan in the face."
Konekomaru, way over his head, smirked, "Y-Yeah...you punch those...geese." Hiccuping between each word.
"A swan, baldy. S-W-A-N." Izumo spelled it out then snorted, "I just really need..." The pigtailed girl hesitated for a moment, "I need to lay down." She crawled over next to Shiemi and pulled at the sheets to cover herself. "Go get your own bed."
Shiemi blinked, "B-But I was here first."
Izumo sighed, her head suddenly pounding, "Whatever..." And then she was out like a light.
Shiemi's confused face scrunched up as Shima burped, the stench of vomit still fresh as ever. "All righty. Shiemi, pick someone." Is what he meant to say, but all that came out was a jumble of sounds. Somehow, she understood enough of it to choose Konekomaru. In the background Rin whined about not being picked, earning an evil glare from Yukio. He immediately shut up.
The bald monk struggled to sit up, but as he did, his choice was 'Dare'. Shima passed Shiemi the red card to read and as she did, she felt a strange wave overpower her. She glanced up to see bright blue eyes staring at her. "Eek!" She scooted backwards, pulling the blankets with her and crushing the card in her hand.
Rin pulled back and squinted, his face much too close for her liking, "Sorry. It looked like you had something on your face."
"So you had to stare at it?" Shiemi squeaked.
"Don't ya worry, Rin." Shura snickered, "It be a nose...Arrr..." She hooked her hand like a claw and covered one eye with the other, "It be a nose, ye be a lookin' at."
"Sooooo..." Interrupted Konekomaru, "What do I have to...hic, do?!"
The pirate talk was put on hold as Shiemi read the card aloud; "Switch all of your clothes with someone of the opposite gender." She coughed, "In front of everyone else."
"Shiemi!" Konekomaru said, throwing his shirt across the room at the blonde's face followed by his tie and pants. He lounged for her clothes left on the floor, pulling on her blouse and bowtie. Next the bald monk's underwear soared across the room to be replaced with Shiemi's panties and skirt. With ease he pulled on the thigh-high socks and shoes and then flopped down onto the floor once again and continued right along as if nothing had happened, "Okay, Yukio. Truth or Dare."
The blonde on the other hand was frantically pulling on Konekomaru's clothes to hide her nude body while still hidden under the sheets. The clothes fit fairly well considering both students were small. She folded Yukio's jacket up and set it aside.
Now it was the brunette's turn. He chose Truth.
The card was simple.
"Never gonna give you up, Never gonna let you down, Never gonna run around and desert you..."
"The hell?!"
"It's once of those stupid internet things." Shima explained, "Like the Game. Which you just Lost."
Yukio deadpanned, "I don't know what any of that even is." With the shine of his glasses, he turned to Ryuji but stopped, "He's still...dead." Ryuji lay flat on his back, his face red, blood trickling from his nose. "All right, fine. Rin. Truth or Dare?"
Rin smirked evilly, holding a flashlight up under his chin, "Dare." No one questioned where he managed to find a flashlight.
"All right, all right," Yukio said and picked up a card. His nose crinkled. No, this would not do. Yukio cleared his throat, ignoring what the card read totally, yet pretending to read it nonetheless, "It says, You must submit yourself to anyone of my choosing." Rin made a face, not sure whether he wanted this or not. "And I choose myself."
Konekomaru piped up, "You can't do that! Cheat!" He waved a shaky finger at Rin, "Cheat!" He rearranged his skirt then hiccuped.
"Pick someone, Nii-san." Yukio whispered, making a come hither look with a devious smile on his face. Rin figured it'd be fine, chose Shura and read the Truth card she muttered, allowing everyone to learn of the information of Shura having never given up her virginity. As the way-too-drunk Shura struggled to chose between the half-dead Ryuji and the scarred Shiemi, Yukio motioned towards Rin.
The demon child shuffled across the room, coming to a stop by Yukio and narrowed his eyes, "So what do I have to do?"
Yukio instantly grabbed at Rin's arm, holding him against himself. Yukio leaned down, his breath tickling Rin's ear, "Finish what we started." With a sudden movement, Yukio stood with a startled Rin in tow and announced, "We'll be back shortly. Keep playing." Before yanking poor Rin out the door and down the hall. But instead of slipping inside one of the nearer bedrooms, Yukio lead them downstairs and to the dark kitchen.
"F-Finish...Wait! Wait, wait, wait..." Rin pulled back, his eyes wide as Yukio grabbed at his thighs, hoisting his lean body up onto the countertop.
"No waiting," Yukio growled, causing Rin to shut up.
The shirt did not last long - Yukio tore Rin's shirt off and took very little time undoing Rin's belt. "You're not doing it right!" Rin squeaked as the cool countertop touched his bare skin, "We have to do foreplay first."
"Foreplay?" Yukio asked, "Why bother?" He continued to pull at Rin's belt, but Rin's hands held him back,
"Do you not read your own manga? It was in Generic Yaoi Manga Name volume one. Where Character A had to strip Character B using only his teeth then he had to get him [censored] with only a [censored] using [censored] and [censored] but just when he was about to [censored] [censored] him, Character C came in while they were [censored] and wound up [censored] and [censored] with them. It was pretty hot."
Well damn. Rin had found Yukio's secret stash... Yukio blinked, "I'm sorry, I couldn't process any of that once you censored it all." Another thought crossed his mind, "Perhaps you could show me, instead of tell me, hmm?"
Rin hesitated, "I-I...uhm, guess so...?" He shuffled forward, wrapping his arms around Yukio's neck and pulled him down until their lips touched. "It starts like this..." His pink tongue daringly licked at Yukio's bottom lip until the brunette took the hint and swallowed Rin's mouth. The brunette's eyes widened, he had no idea when Rin had become such a good kisser. He certainly was never around any girls long enough to have gained experience. But his thoughts melted quickly as their tongues overlapped and began a slow tango, including the latin background music as it marked out the steps for each movement. Suddenly the music grew faster, and both boys frantically began to shed clothes until the music peaked and halted. During this pause, the twins exchanged a glance.
"You know that this is insects, right?" Rin asked.
"You mean incest?" Yukio replied with a short chuckle, "Yes. I do realize that."
"Then...isn't this wrong?"
"Not if you love someone enough."
Rin blinked, "But what about motherfuckers? Don't they...you know, with their mothers? That's incests...I mean incest."
Yukio exhaled, the sudden flare of passion starting to falter, "You said the f-word in the sentence before it, yet can't say it directly afterwards? Anyway, yes, that is wrong and immoral."
"I didn't want to say it because I all ready said it once - and it wasn't technically the f-word, it was a compound word." Rin scrunched up his eyebrows, "How is that different than what we're doing then?"
"Because I'm not your mother." Yukio deadpanned. The Imperial March suddenly flared up in the background, "I'm your father."
Rin blinked, "U-Uh... okay..."
o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o
"G-uhhghhghgh..." Ryuji choked, surfacing with a breath. His face beat red, his breath in shallow pants. He rubbed his eyes tenderly and glanced around. "How... what happened?"
Across the room a tired and grumpy voice hissed, "Oi! Keep yer voice down, will ya. Sheesh. Some people." Shura said, pulling her body down beneath the covers of the bed that had been occupied with Shiemi and Konekomaru. The three of them lay on top of each other, sprawled in a mess of limbs and bedsheets. On the floor beneath the bed Izumo and Shima were curled up, Izumo spooning Shima from behind, her flushed face pressed into Shima's backside. Shima was totally knocked out, snoring loudly, drool pooling from his mouth.
Ryuji blinked again. Sitting up and feeling an intense wave of nausea hit him right in the feel-bads. "Guah!" He doubled over clutching his stomach and covering his mouth. He caught sight of the empty alcohol bottles littering the floor as well as red and blue cards scattered everywhere. The fuck happened...? Wait a minute, did... Did we actually...?!
The cool counter top felt nice against his burning cheek. Rin sighed, happily content to lay there forever. But alas, all good things must come to an end.
Peeking open one blue eye, he straightened up and immediately regretted it. A searing pain shot from his lower back straight up his spine. "O-Ouch! Uah! Dammnit! Ow, ow, owwwww!" Shuffling his legs to make him move, Rin sauntered across the kitchen to the staircase only then to realize that he wasn't wearing pants and a drying, sticky fluid was hindering his movement of his upper thighs. Uncaring what it was, Rin forced himself up the stairs and towards his bedroom where he knew he could find pants. At his door, Rin paused remembering that his pants were most likely left in the spare room where everyone had camped last night. So, nude, Rin made his way and proudly presented himself to the dorm room, snatching up his pants and wandering away. Leaving Ryuji stoic, and everyone else dead in their hungover sleeps.
Back in his own room, Rin was greeted by Yukio with a curt nod and a 'good morning'. "Mornin', Yukio." Rin stifled a yawn. "Didya know what happened the other night? Everyone's still asleep, I'm sore all over and there was some sort of white stuff all over my legs." He paused. "And I was naked. W-Wait." Pausing again, Rin's eyes widened horribly his face contorted in an expression Yukio couldn't quite place.
Yukio held his breath as the next words were screamed at him;
"That was the BEST PARTY EVER!" His eyes gleamed, "Yukio! Let's invite everyone over again soon and do this again!"
-DERP-
Ultimate troll fic. Deal with it. Hate me, love me, review.
~Days of Despair
