The Lord Regent
It was official. The transformed king had lost his mind. That was the only rational explanation for such an outrageous offer. A grunt came from Mario before it evolved into full-fledged laughter. This was insane. He braced himself to not fall flat on his face. He laughed until it hurt before his composure reasserted itself, Mario shook his head before staring at Bowsette, "I feel like I should hit whoever said you've got a terrible sense of humor." He grinned. However, the raised eyebrow and annoyed expression on her face caused him to frown, "…You're serious, aren't you?"
"I am." She replied.
The plumber exhaled slowly, "Why should I help you?" He asked cautiously, "I mean… you haven't forgotten where my loyalties lie?"
Bowsette snorted, "Of course not. I also know that you care deeply for your home." She gestured for him to take a seat in the chair across from her. "Let's play a game, shall we?"
Mario slid into the chair and stared intently, "My answer remains the same." He replied. Still, he'd humor her request.
"Humor me. Let's suppose that ambitious generals or noblemen hear a rumor of my incapacitation, what do you suppose they would try to do?" She asked calmly. At his blank expression, Bowsette sighed. "They would either try to strike out on their own and become the new ruler, or… if they're especially clever, they will crown my son as the new king and themselves as the Regent. If it's the former, then the kingdom collapses into a civil war, if the latter then they can make a puppet out of my son and make him dance to their tune. I'm pretty certain that the Mushroom Kingdom would long for the days of my rule in such an event."
"Isn't that what you're doing now?" Mario inquired. "Asking me to be a voice in your son's ear?"
Bowsette's lip curled to a smile, "No. Monarchs have appointed regents in the past to act on their behalf. Typically, this is done during times of war; however, a few have been known to use it in the event of needing a reprieve, even if for a week's time."
"And how do you know I won't try to dismantle your kingdom?" Mario asked with a raised eyebrow.
Honestly, there was a part of him that would've seriously considered doing just that. This was a golden opportunity to dismantle the Koopa Kingdom, yet there was another part that made him feel like a heel for even considering it. He stared at Bowsette who hadn't changed in her reaction one bit, "Because I know you. I know that the thought of my nation collapsing into civil war is a sickening one." She explained, not raising her voice to make her point. "Innocent people would suffer, and a refugee crisis would hit both Sarasaland and the Mushroom Kingdom, and do you think Sarasaland and the Mushroom Kingdom would let refugees enter their lands?"
Mario frowned, Emperor Theseus and King Reznor were no friends of the Koopa Kingdom. They would either commit their forces to whichever side they thought they could control, or they would opt for the more practical solution: Fortify their borders and leave countless men, women, and children to perish from the harsh elements of the Koopahari Desert or to take their chances in a war-torn nation.
"I see only one flaw with your plan: I'm not a politician." Mario muttered, "I don't have that fluidity and grace that say… Peach or Daisy have."
"And who were my options? Princess Peach? Princess Daisy?" Bowsette asked with a tilt of the head, "There's no way King Reznor would humor my request for aid, the man harbors an intense dislike of my people, even those who defected to him are not easily embraced by the Mushroom Kingdom at large. That leaves Sarasaland, and I wouldn't dare cross them on a normal day much less in the situation I'm in now." She leaned back in her chair, "But assuming that all goes according to plan and either one of them was able to see their daughters brought here and that the daughters in question agreed to become my Regent… how do you think the citizens of the kingdom would view it?"
Mario frowned, the answer was immediately evident, "They'd view it as a foreign nation trying to occupy their lands and resist. Violently." He emphasized at the last point, "Still, you're giving control of a powerful nation to a man with no political experience whatsoever."
Bowsette raised an eyebrow in annoyance, "Do you believe that I would be so careless?" She asked. "You would have my aid in most affairs and should you require it, Colonel Terrapin will also lend you aid."
Two equally unappealing options lay before him, one most definitely ended with a body count. The other had a chance to blow up in his face; however, Mario grit his teeth in frustration. There was a painful realization: The ruler of the Koopa Kingdom would not leave anything to chance. He sighed, hating this feeling in the pit of his stomach, "…You win." He muttered, hating how weak he sounded. "I'll do it."
"Excellent." The Queen grinned, "I'll send two letters out, both bearing my seal. One will be sent to my High Council, they will advise you as well as they have me. The other will be sent to my viceroys. They will not act against you. You can count on their aid if you need it. This audience is finished." She declared. "Berwin!"
The door to her chambers opened as a koopa stepped in wearing a charcoal suit and red cravat, "Yes, Your Grace?" He asked while bowing low.
"Take the Lord Regent to his chambers and do see to it that he's properly fitted," Bowsette commanded. Mario evidently was not good at hiding his displeasure as the Koopa Queen laughed.
"The gentleman will please follow me," The koopa commanded while walking out of the room.
Following the koopa, Mario gave a disgruntled sigh as he walked through the hallway quietly. He frowned and glanced up at the koopa in question, "Berwin, yes? Just what role do you fulfill for the Koopa King?"
"I am Her Majesty's Chamberlain, perhaps it would better to compare me to the retainer of the Mushroom Princess. And the gentleman will be well advised to remember that she is not the Koopa King, but rather the Koopa Queen." The koopa explained.
"It still does not change the fact that I'm not a political person." Mario muttered bitterly, "Whether your K—Queen realizes it or not, I'm quite likely to run the nation into the ground…"
Berwin stopped and turned to face the plumber. Mario wasn't sure why, but he felt like he was being x-rayed by the Chamberlain. Suddenly, the koopa smiled gently, "Her Grace mentioned that you would have the aid of several people, yes?"
Mario nodded, "That's true but—"
"And would the gentleman not have undergone a similar trial in the event he was to marry the Princess Peach?" Berwin asked the plumber replied with a nod, "And would he have not received proper tutelage to ensure that he does not make a fool of himself?" Mario nodded once more, "Then the gentleman is worried over nothing, while I am Her Grace's Chamberlain, I am also at your disposal should you so require it."
It didn't really make him feel any better about running a nation, his enemy's country no less. Still, he only gave a small smile, "Well… don't be surprised if I ask you stupid questions like what fork to use for a formal dinner. Or any other stupid questions that may arise."
"Sir, only stupid people choose not to ask questions." Berwin chuckled, "Now please, follow me to your chambers."
Mario followed the Chamberlain once more, maybe he could do this after all. He sighed as he thought back to the Koopa Queen likely still sitting at her desk. It was hard to believe that this was the same man that styled himself as the Demon King. The voice reminded him of Princess Peach though in a more… sultry tone, the thing that unnerved him though was the pleasant smell of cherries that graced her chambers. He shook his head as he entered a large room, his eyes widened as he took in the scenery.
"Um… Berwin?" He found his voice, "Um… I'm pretty certain I'm in the wrong room?"
The Chamberlain only tilted his head in confusion, "The gentleman is mistaken." Berwin explained, "These are the chambers of the Lord Regent."
Mario frowned as he stared at the spacious room, it was roughly the size of his own living room and kitchen. His hand ran absently over the white silk sheets and the black comforter that lay over the bed before he spotted three clothing stands. The clothing was far more elegant than anything he could have possibly afforded in his everyday life. The plumber raised an eyebrow and stepped over to the offered clothing, "…Why do I feel like I'm being fitted for a wedding?"
Berwin only chuckled, "If that were the case, then I would have prepared a frock, a tailcoat, or possibly a dinner jacket." He gave a smile, "In point of fact, the gentleman will choose from these garments."
The plumber sighed bitterly as he looked at each one of the outfits and frowned, if he was going to do this then he needed to look the part. One attire caught his eye if only for the way that that the pale maroon frock stood out. Taking the uniform, he stepped behind a changing curtain and began to change his clothes. It honestly felt like he was being robbed of his identity as he donned the motley of the Lord Regent. Mario gave a huff before buttoning the frock and staring into a mirror. It didn't look bad per se; however, the red cap did not go with his new look with a shaky hand he removed the hat and placed it on top of his folded stack of clothes.
Taking a step away from the curtain he approached Berwin who nodded in approval, "The look suits the gentleman." He reached into his pocket and presented a brooch to the plumber, "In recognition of your status as Lord Regent, Your Excellency."
Mario took the brooch and stared at it with a curious expression on his face. The way it was crafted made it resemble a hand holding the Koopahari Sun in its palm, fastening the pin to his right breast he heaved yet another sigh hearing the chamberlain address his new title, "I suppose it's too much to ask that you call me Mario?" He asked with a dull tone.
Berwin shook his head, "I am sorry, sir. But you are the Lord Regent, I must address you as Excellency." He smiled gently. He stepped behind the curtain and picked up Mario's discarded clothes, "I shall have your clothes washed and starched, sir."
The newly minted Regent stared at the cap resting on top of his clothes, "Do be careful with the cap, Berwin. It holds a certain… sentimentality with me." He muttered softly. "And… I know this isn't easy on any of you, but… thank you for helping me with this."
"I will, sir. As for the help? Think nothing of it, I live to serve." The Chamberlain nodded. "I fear that I have taken up much of your time, I am sure you wish to rest after your journey?"
Mario wanted to agree with the chamberlain; however, a nagging feeling grew in the pit of his stomach as he bit back a growl of frustration, "No. I need your library." He stated firmly. "If I'm going to lead this country… then I need to learn all that I can about it."
The Chamberlain nodded in approval, "Very well, Excellency. Please, follow me."
Following after Berwin, Mario couldn't help but feel some sense of power as his new boots clicked against the castle tiles. A part of him wondered what his more politically attuned brother would think of such developments, not to mention the Mushroom Kingdom as a whole. Was he a traitor? He bit back any unasked questions as he marched on. There would be plenty of time to question it once it was done. The country needed a leader and, whether he liked it or not, he was that leader for the time being.
Author's Note:
The fact that this story has gotten so much love surprises me honestly. I expected the story to be a blip on the radar and just pass along without much fanfare. So, I'd like to say that if you've been reading, favoriting, reviewing, or even flat out recommending it then I'd like to express my thanks to all of you.
Bowsette outlines quite clearly the inherent dangers of her disappearance from the public light without a safeguard in place. Bowser Junior would still be too young to really rule, and so it would open the door to allowing an ambitious lord to try to puppet the young prince or to try and claim independence in some way. As Otto von Bismarck once said: "If you want to fool the world, tell the truth." Mario was not coerced into doing this, he was persuaded.
Speaking of the newly minted Queen, her voice would probably have to sound like Jen Taylor's Cortana from the Halo series. Jen Taylor also provided the voice for Princess Peach up until 2006 when she ended her career with Nintendo to dedicate more time to the Seattle's Children's Theatre.
I added more dialogue with Berwin as I really enjoyed writing him and the idea of him trying to ease Mario's mind. As before, Berwin is inspired by Mererid from the Witcher 3.
Mario's attire as Lord Regent was initially based around the Overseers from Dishonored; however, I began rewatching Game of Thrones and realized that the maroon outfit that Tywin typically wore, especially at Joffrey's wedding, worked far better as Mario would go for more utilitarian looks over anything else. I also changed the symbol of the Lord Regent from a lotus flower to a hand holding the sun as if to represent the guiding hand he now had over the Koopa Kingdom's fate.
In the original, Mario decided to go to the library on a whim; however, I decided to have Mario ask to be taken there instead.
