Count On Me
A/N: Okay, I'm really really sorry about how long it took me to get this chapter up… First I took a three-day vacation in which I did not write any of my fanfics. Then I started this chapter, but it stalled, so I updated all my other fics instead. Then I got on a roll, but my computer committed suicide… My fiancé and I revived it after a day and a half or so, but I did lose part of this chapter… so I recreated it, then it stalled again, but I finally pulled it together and here it is! I hope it was worth the wait!
This chapter is really going to start getting into the backstory of this whole thing. It's from Kaoru's point of view and based off the song Count On Me by Default, which is an absolutely amazing song that I love to pieces. As always, I would recommend listening to the song while reading the chapter cuz I do pick these songs for a reason.
I also feel that I should mention that Kyouya/Kaoru is possibly my favorite OHC pairing of all time besides Mori/Haruhi, so I have to shoehorn in a little bit because I need to fuel my own obsession. But of course I couldn't make Kaoru the person Kyouya was cheating on Haruhi with because that's just wrong. Yes, I think that's wrong, but Kyouya/Tamaki is fine. Don't question the way my brain works!
Oh, and this chapter kinda got away from me a little, so there's some stuff that's a bit more mature than previous chapters… hand-jobs, a blowjob, stuff like that… It's kind of borderline M, but since nothing else in this fic approaches this level, I'm not going to change the rating. You've been warned.
Disclaimer: I don't own OHC, or any of the songs used in the creation of this fic. I also have no affiliation with any of the artists.
As the more mature Hitachiin twin, Kaoru was used to people expecting more from him than from his brother. Hikaru was more volatile, more emotional, and therefore the rest of their friends were more likely to turn to Kaoru when they needed something important. It had been that way ever since high school. Kaoru understood his role and he kept his silences when required. It had been this way since Haruhi had joined the Host Club and brought both twins out of their private little world.
When he was a sophomore in high school, Kaoru was entrusted with his first major secret. There had been a large school party and someone had spiked the punch. That someone may or may not have been Hikaru, so Kaoru had known to avoid the alcoholic beverage, but another member of the Host Club hadn't been so lucky.
Kaoru had realized he'd left his jacket in the Music Room 3, so he'd gone back to fetch it, leaving his brother attempting to flirt with Haruhi, much to Tamaki's dismay. With the echoes of the Prince's enraged screams in his ears, Kaoru hurried along the hallways, intending to be back as soon as possible to make sure the other boys didn't make too much of a scene.
The lights in the Host Club's headquarters were out, and Kaoru left them that way. The last time he'd seen his jacket, it had been flung over the arm of one of the couches, so he moved slowly in that direction, careful not to bump into any of the rest of the furniture. Finding the couch, he squinted into the dim light. Someone was lying on the couch, using his jacket as a pillow. Kaoru frowned, not exactly pleased with this situation. He reached down and touched the shoulder of the sleeping figure.
"Kyouya-senpai?" he asked, finally recognizing the slender build.
Kyouya muttered something and put his arm over his eyes.
"Kyouya-senpai, are you okay?" Kaoru tried again.
"Fine," Kyouya muttered.
Still concerned, the redhead moved around the couch and crouched next to the junior. "Did you have the punch?"
"Yeah…"
"Oooh, bad luck. Someone spiked that. I figured you of all people would have known that."
Kyouya just snorted.
"Well, I just came here to get my jacket, but since you appear to be using it…" Kaoru trailed off, but Kyouya still hadn't moved. "Look, are you sure you're okay? I could call someone to come pick you up or…"
His next words were cut off when Kyouya suddenly reached up, grabbed the back of Kaoru's head, and pulled him into a deep kiss. Kaoru resisted for a moment, but then decided to just go with it. He knew he tended to like guys more than girls, had known for at least a couple years, and the upperclassman was rather attractive…
The kiss went on for several moments, then Kyouya released Kaoru and relaxed back into the couch. Kaoru was frozen, not sure if he should stay or flee. Finally Kyouya moved to sit up, and Kaoru instinctively reached out to help him upright. The dark-haired junior leaned on the redhead's shoulder.
"Why the fuck did I do that?" he slurred, so softly that Kaoru almost didn't hear him, and that had probably been Kyouya's intention. "Dad is gonna kill me…"
"Shh…" Kaoru murmured, petting the older boy's hair gently. "It's gonna be okay. I won't tell anyone if you don't want me to."
Kyouya nodded and leaned back into the couch. Kaoru moved out from under his arm and went to get the other boy a glass of water.
I know that life ain't always good to you.
I've seen exactly what it's put you through
Thrown you around and turned you upside down and so you
You got to thinking there was no way out
You started sinking and it pulled you down
It may be tough you've to get back up
Because you know that life ain't over yet
I'm here for you so don't forget
You can count on me
Cause' I will carry you till you
Carry on
It was only a few minutes before Kyouya had recovered enough to be sitting up on his own, without the support of Kaoru or the couch.
"You're sure you'll be okay?" Kaoru asked.
Kyouya nodded, already reaching for his cellphone. "I'm fine. I'll call my car in a few minutes. Thank you."
"Anytime," Kaoru said, and he meant it.
Kyouya never mentioned this encounter again. Neither did Kaoru. Occasionally he felt Kyouya's cold eyes on him, but Kaoru never even told Hikaru about what had happened that night, so Kyouya had no reason to be upset.
A couple months later, there was another party, and the punch was spiked again. When Kyouya disappeared, Kaoru had no real reason to go to Music Room 3, but he went anyways. And again he found Kyouya, resting off his intoxication on a couch. And again, Kyouya drunkenly kissed Kaoru.
And again, afterwards Kyouya did not speak of it. It was perfectly plain to Kaoru that Kyouya wasn't interested in anything serious. In fact, he might not be interested in anything at all. For all Kaoru knew, he would have kissed anyone who came to check on him, maybe that was the kind of drunk that Kyouya was. And he knew he shouldn't get too attached to the other boy or his kisses, but…
At the end of term, the Hitachiin twins decided to host a large party for Host Club members, many of their guests, and several other classmates. This evening, everyone had a little champagne, and people were really relaxing and having a good time. Kaoru slipped away to find a CD he had promised to lend to Honey, and that's when Kyouya found him.
Kaoru felt arms wrap around his waist, and at first he thought it might have been his twin trying to set him up for their brotherly love act. But then he felt the warm breath on the back of his neck and found himself pressed against an unfamiliar body. Kaoru managed to pull himself free and whirled around to see Kyouya standing there.
"Jesus, Kyouya!" he gasped. "You scared the hell out of me!"
"My apologies," Kyouya said, placing one hand on the wall next to Kaoru's head, practically trapping the boy in his own room.
"Um… What are you doing?" Kaoru asked at last.
"Well, you haven't objected to anything I've done so far… I guess I want to see how far you're willing to go," Kyouya said.
Kaoru shuddered. Kyouya moved closer, their bodies nearly pressed together.
"You've kept my secret so far," Kyouya murmured. "Why, I wonder?"
"Because you want me to," Kaoru replied. "I don't know if you're actually gay or just experimenting, but I do know why you'd want to keep it a secret. I can't imagine your father would be too thrilled with this revelation."
Kyouya said nothing, merely bent forward and silenced the redhead with a rather aggressive kiss. Kaoru sensed he had come too close to the truth, and Kyouya didn't really want to talk about this. Kaoru didn't mind though… the alternative to talking was amazing.
Anytime you need someone
Somebody strong to lean on
Well you can count on me
To hold you till the healing is done
And every time you fall apart
Well you can hide here in my arms
And you can count on me
To hold you till that feeling is gone
At the same time that Kyouya's mouth dominated Kaoru's, the black-haired boys hands were busily working on the fastenings of Kaoru's pants. The redhead was content to let this happen. Kyouya was hot, single, and basically sober. That was all Kaoru needed right now.
When Kyouya's hand found Kaoru's cock, the younger boy couldn't help but moan eagerly. Kyouya's strokes were quick and hard, bringing Kaoru very quickly to the brink. When his seed was spilled, Kaoru's moans were swallowed up greedily by Kyouya, whose lips had never once pulled away from Kaoru's. After a few more minutes of making out, Kyouya pulled back. His composure was slightly rattled, but he had lost surprisingly little of his poise. Kaoru, on the other hand, looked properly debauched and the sight actually brought a half-smile to Kyouya's lips.
"You should clean up and we should really join your guests again. I'm surprised no one has noticed our absence," Kyouya said, sounding only slightly out of breath. Kaoru just nodded, and as soon as the upperclassman left, Kaoru changed into a different pair of boxers and pants, washed up, and hurried back to the party.
The next few months had a few more scattered make-out sessions and a couple of deliciously memorable hand-jobs, but in public Kyouya never mentioned anything and neither did Kaoru. Kyouya seemed impressed that Kaoru didn't even confide in Hikaru, though Kaoru was never sure why since he'd given his word that any encounters would be kept strictly between the two of them.
One evening, Kaoru went over to Kyouya's home to borrow a book for a paper he was working on. A servant let him in and directed him towards a lounge area where visitors could wait until their host was free. Kaoru was barely in the room when he heard shouting. Unable to hide his curiosity, the boy crept to the doorway and peeked out. He could see Yoshio Ootori, the family patriarch, shouting at his youngest son. Although Kaoru couldn't make out the exact words, he felt his blood boil. Surely Kyouya couldn't possibly have done anything deserving of such a chewing out.
Kyouya didn't seem to be angry, nor was he arguing back. He did eventually start to say something, but Yoshio slapped his youngest son, sending the boy sprawling to the floor and Kaoru had to grip the doorframe to remind himself that he wasn't supposed to be witnessing this, and certainly couldn't go around assaulting one of Japan's most prominent businessmen.
Yoshio spoke a few more words to his son, then turned and stormed off, leaving Kyouya on the floor. The dark-haired boy rubbed the bridge of his nose, seeming to try to compose himself. Kaoru couldn't hold back any longer now that the Ootori patriarch was gone, so he hurried out.
"Kyouya! Are you okay?" he asked, moving to crouch next to his senpai.
For just a moment, Kyouya's stormy gray eyes locked on Kaoru, but then he looked down, hiding any emotions from the other boy.
"I am sorry you had to see that," Kyouya said as calmly as he could manage.
Kaoru nearly growled. It wasn't the first time he'd seen Kyouya's father strike him, but that first time had made him angry too… Kaoru simply couldn't understand the parenting style of Yoshio Ootori. "I don't know what he said to you, but I'm sure you didn't deserve any of it," he said, fighting to keep the rage out of his voice.
"Please don't worry about it. It's nothing I can't handle," Kyouya said. Kaoru said nothing, but he stood and held his hand out to the other boy, pulling him to his feet.
I wonder why nobody's waiting on you
I'd like to be the one to pull you through your darkest times
I'd love to be the light that finds you
I see a silver lining on your cloud
I'll pick you up whenever you fall down
Just take my hand and I will help you stand
The pair headed upstairs to Kyouya's room. Kaoru leaned against the desk, arms crossed, glaring at the floor. Kyouya perused his bookcase, scanning the shelves for the book Kaoru had requested. It took a moment, but finally Kyouya's slender hand darted out to pull a book away from its fellows.
"Here we are…" the boy murmured. Gray eyes met amber ones and Kyouya stepped towards Kaoru, holding out the book to him. "I can't imagine that I'll need this particular volume anytime soon, so you may keep it as long as you like."
"Thanks," Kaoru said, reaching out and grabbing it. Their fingertips brushed and the light flashed off Kyouya's glasses. He made a movement that suggested that he was going to reach out and grab Kaoru, but he stopped himself.
"I have work to do. Do you need anything else?" he asked, a bit stiffly now.
Kaoru blinked. "Um… no, I'm fine. Are you sure you're okay?"
"Quite. I'll see you on Monday then," Kyouya said firmly
Kaoru didn't bother arguing. He simply said goodbye and walked out. But he was quiet and solemn as he went. Kyouya seemed so downtrodden when he was at home, a far cry from the calm puppet master that existed at Ouran. And he had seemed incredibly reluctant to be alone with Kaoru in his room.
Kaoru did not see Kyouya again until Monday. The redhead had found a quiet room to work on his paper (with the help of the book Kyouya had let him borrow) during his lunch hour, managing to shake off Hikaru and Haruhi (and leaving his twin to flirt with the poor girl again, but she was more than a match for his brother's advances). Kaoru was looking forward to getting a decent amount of work done, and he certainly hadn't expected Kyouya to sit down across from him.
"Hey," Kaoru said casually, resting the tip of his pencil against the book to mark his place.
Kyouya didn't bother with pleasantries. "I feel as though I'm always apologizing to you. But I did not want you lingering around the house with my father in such a foul mood. You saw more than enough of his temper."
"I told you it was fine," Kaoru said, glancing up through his bangs at the upperclassman.
"It's no secret that we do not always see eye to eye," Kyouya said, not quite looking at Kaoru as he spoke. "Certain aspects of our… interactions… would not be met with approval."
"I didn't think they would be," Kaoru agreed. "What's your point? I already told you I'd keep whatever we have a secret."
Kyouya's eyes narrowed slightly. "But… why?"
"Because you're my friend."
Because you know that life ain't over yet
I'm here for you so don't forget
You can count on me
Cause' I will carry you till you carry on
Anytime you need someone
Somebody strong to lean on
Well you can count on me to hold you till the healing is done
And every time you fall apart you can hide here in my arms
And you can count on me to hold you till that feeling is
Gone so you can live today
Seems so long to yesterday
Keep on counting on me to carry you till you carry on
Carry on
Kyouya moved around the table faster than Kaoru would ever have expected him to move. He pressed his lips to Kaoru's and kissed him. Kaoru automatically moved to wrap one arm around Kyouya and they kissed for several minutes.
It probably wasn't a healthy relationship… if you could even call it that. But Kaoru could tell himself that when he was alone all he wanted, but when he looked into Kyouya's eyes or touched his hand, all resolve fled. Kyouya was troubled, he was alone. Kaoru would have been perfectly happy just being his friend, and if there was something more being offered, he would happily take it.
A shifting of their hips keyed Kaoru in to the fact that Kyouya was already rock-hard. And this gave Kaoru a couple of very devious ideas. Not caring how much time might be left until classes started again, the redhead's long fingers made quick work of the fastenings of Kyouya's pants.
"What are you…?" Kyouya began, trying to whisper in between kisses. But Kaoru gently pressed the tip of his finger to the upperclassman's lips.
"Shh," he murmured gently before giving Kyouya another quick peck.
Kyouya shuddered under the ministrations of Kaoru's nimble fingers and he reached back to brace himself against a nearby table. Once the dark-haired boy was steady, Kaoru slid to his knees and took the junior's cock into his mouth. Kyouya made a harsh gasping noise and he seemed to freeze, but Kaoru wasn't discouraged.
Sure enough, after only a few moments, Kaoru felt a hand tangle itself in his hair. He hoped that Kyouya had enough sense not to pull too hard.
Kyouya turned out to be a wonderful recipient. He didn't thrust, he didn't push on Kaoru's head or pull his hair… Kaoru was just beginning to feel really happy about the whole thing when Kyouya tilted his head back and moaned as he came into Kaoru's mouth. But it was the name that he moaned that caught Kaoru off-guard.
"T… T… Tamaki…" the dark-haired junior whined, and at first Kaoru wasn't sure he'd heard correctly. He just barely managed not to choke, and he leaned back to sit on the floor, swallowing and wiping his mouth.
"Did… did you just…?" He couldn't even get the question out.
Kyouya's perfect composure had broken completely. His cheeks were flushed, and he looked downright alarmed. "I… I… No?" he tried at last.
Kaoru groaned and held his head in his hands. Of course, now that he really thought about it, it was all perfectly obvious. How had he never noticed it before? The way the pair was almost always together, the way that Kyouya never really objected when Tamaki called him 'Mommy', the way Kyouya put up with Tamaki's insanity when he was such a cool and rational person.
"You're in love with Tamaki!" he blurted out.
Kyouya wanted to deny it, that was obvious, but he couldn't. He just quietly fastened up his pants again and crouched at Kaoru's side.
"That's why you never wanted to tell anyone about us, you're pining for Tamaki," Kaoru continued. It hurt like hell to say all this, but he was going to say it anyways.
"That's not why…" Kyouya muttered. "I wasn't lying when I said my family would not approve of me being in a relationship with a man."
"So why me?" Kaoru demanded. "You're obviously thinking of someone else."
Kyouya looked at the floor. "I can't tell him. He'll never return my feelings. And I can't lose his friendship. You were… a safe option."
"Is that supposed to flatter me?" Kaoru asked.
"I was drunk when I kissed you…" Kyouya said, as though Kaoru hadn't noticed. "But… I liked it. I thought maybe… I thought it could work."
"But it's not working," Kaoru said. "When were you planning on telling me?"
Kyouya didn't answer.
"Oh for god's sakes!" Kaoru sighed. "Just go tell him how you feel! That way he knows and you're not bottling it up all the time! If you really think Tamaki's going to push you away just for liking guys, you don't know him nearly as well as you think you do!"
Kyouya sat back on his heels and his head dipped to one side, studying Kaoru calculatingly. "Why do you keep trying to help me so much? I've done nothing but take advantage of you."
"Well at least you're willing to admit it. Besides, I meant what I said earlier… you're my friend. This is the kind of thing friends do."
You know that life ain't over yet
I'm here for you so don't forget
You can count on me cause I will carry you till you carry on
Kyouya said nothing, but then he pulled Kaoru into a hug, holding him tightly for a minute before standing and leaving the room. Kaoru just sat on the floor for a few more minutes, trying to get his thoughts back in order. Then he heard the bell ring for class, so he hurried to gather his things and rush off to class.
Hikaru and Haruhi both kept pestering him to tell them what was wrong during class, but he never broke, just brushed them off with some remarks about how his paper was going badly. Things at the Host Club went on as normal, with the twins doing their usual brotherly love act and Tamaki being loud and flirtatious as ever. Kaoru put on a good face, but his heart wasn't really in it. And although he tried not to look at Kyouya, he could feel the older boy's eyes watching him.
Over the next few days, he noticed no difference in the interactions between Tamaki and Kyouya, so Kaoru could only assume that Kyouya had chosen not to take his advice. But over the next couple weeks, Kaoru would randomly find small gifts left in places where he spent most of his time. A few nice candies, gift cards, books… At first Kaoru couldn't figure out where the small items were coming from, but when he found a book that he and Kyouya had discussed at length together, he finally understood… These little things were apologies. So Kaoru cornered Kyouya after the rest of the Host Club had left.
"You can stop leaving the presents," Kaoru told him. "I don't know what you're trying to prove with them, but… just stop, okay?"
Kyouya said nothing for a minute. "It's an apology… And a thank you."
"Thanking me? For what?" Kaoru asked, head tilting slightly like an inquisitive puppy.
Kyouya thought for a moment. Then a smile appeared on his face. "For being my friend, I suppose."
Kaoru couldn't help but match the older boy's smile. Kyouya did listen to him and stopped leaving gifts, and the pair settled into a comfortable rapport similar to what had existed between them before their little quasi-relationship.
The next year, Hikaru and Kaoru were hanging out and chatting together when they saw Haruhi wandering around with a dazed look on her face. The twins grinned their devilish grins at each other and they hurried over to the girl and threw their arms around her.
"Haruhi! What are you up to?" Hikaru exclaimed.
Haruhi blinked and tilted her head back to look at the boys. "Kyouya just asked me on a date," she told them.
Both twins were stunned, but for different reasons. Hikaru was stunned that someone had beaten him to asking the girl out. Kaoru was just stunned that it was Kyouya. Could the boy really be interested in her? Or was this just another ploy by the Shadow King? Kaoru made up his mind to go speak to Kyouya as soon as possible.
"What are you doing with her?" the redhead asked.
"I'm sure I don't know what you mean," Kyouya said, engrossed in one of his black notebooks and not really looking at the younger boy.
"Yes you do… What are you doing with Haruhi? Why have you asked her out?"
"I'm very fond of her, and if no one else is going to ask her out, I'm going to try to date her," Kyouya said.
Kaoru just shook his head. "Whatever, man… Just… don't break her heart, okay?"
"Of course not," Kyouya said. And that was the end of the discussion.
At the end of the school year, Haruhi showed off her beautiful diamond engagement ring. And Kaoru sought out Kyouya once again.
"Are you sure about this?" he asked. Kyouya didn't have to ask what Kaoru was talking about.
"I am," he said simply.
Kaoru just shook his head. "Remember when I said that you better not break her heart? I meant it. Don't mess this up."
"Don't worry, Kaoru," Kyouya told him. "Everything has been worked out."
These words would come back to haunt Kaoru later, but at that moment, he put his misgivings aside and simply congratulated his friend. And as the years went by, it hurt more and more as he watched Haruhi struggle. At first he blamed her troubles on college and law school, but it was gradually becoming clearer that the marriage was failing. Kyouya had little to say on the matter when Kaoru occasionally met him for lunch.
Kaoru often wondered if he would be doing Haruhi a kindness by telling her the truth about Kyouya's preferences, but eventually he decided that he should stay out of it. After all, maybe Haruhi already knew and she was okay with it. Maybe Kyouya was bisexual and everything was fine there, and the issues were in some other area that Kaoru was not privy to. And if Haruhi DIDN'T know… well, Kaoru really didn't want to be the one to tell her.
In a lovely hotel room in France, Kaoru had finished packing his bags and was nearly done getting ready to head back to Japan with Hikaru. Hikaru was taking his time in the bathroom, so Kaoru booted up his laptop and started checking the headlines back home. And he nearly choked on his coffee as one of the headlines caught his eye.
"Power Couple Split? Ootori Bride Argues Case in Court – Without Wedding Ring"
Kaoru felt like he'd been punched in the gut. Something had happened while he and Hikaru had been in Europe. Suddenly he was desperate to catch their plane. He didn't know who he wanted to talk to first, Haruhi or Kyouya. But he had a feeling both of them would need some support right now. He ran to the bathroom door and banged on it, shouting for Hikaru to hurry up. This trip was over… they were needed at home.
Anytime you need someone
Somebody strong to lean on
Well you can count on me to hold you till that healing is done
And every time you fall apart
You can hide here in my arms
And you can count on me to hold you till that feeling is gone
Remember life ain't over yet
I'm here for you so don't forget
That you can count on me to hold you till that feeling is gone
Remember life ain't over yet
I'm here for you so don't forget
That you can count on me to hold you till that feeling is gone
A/N: Damnit, this is not at all how I intended for this chapter to go… I had intended to do just a couple pages of high school stuff, but goddamn my KyoKao kink! It ran away from me here… but… damnit, I like it too much to go back and change it. So whatever, nice and detailed, bwa ha ha! And this is a really great lead-in to the next chapter, which is going to be from Tamaki's point of view, so you know it's going to be fascinating!
