I don't own squaresoft or any of these characters.... so don't sue me or my brother.

This is chapter 3 of FFBB I hope to continue this.... Well until it's over. Oh yeah, for those that haven't guessed yet, this is my first fan fic!! Hurry for me!! Please R&R thank you!

(Scene: Mog sitting in a chair with a screen behind him)

Mog: Hello and welcome to FFBB! Well the contestants have just gone into Balamb Garden. Someof it hasn't been the prettiest things we've ever seen, but it's going along great. Now let's take a look.

(Scene: Inside of Balamb Garden. Everyone is walking in.)

Zell: Yep... I know this place like the back of my hand!

(Looks at the back of his hand)

Zell: WHAT THE!?!?!?

(There is a big glob of something no one can identify.)

Tifa: Hmm... Looks like paint.

Barret: Now Tifa, think of the possibilities, where was he and what could he have come in contact with.

Everyone: Hmmmmm...

Siefer: Hey! What about that weird green guy? Did he do anything to you?

Zell: I don't think so.

Kuja: LET ME SEE!!

(Runs up to Zell, then licks the stuff of.)

Zell: Gross!!

Kuja: *Gulp* ahhh hmmm... tastes like.. Bird poo.

Selphie: DISGUSTING!

Cid: heh, reminds of something that happened to my cousin when I was younger.

Lulu: What was it?

Cid: Well, we were having a family reunion....

(Everything goes wavy. Then it shows a forest area.)

Cid: My cousin was sitting with a burger and a bun waiting to put whatever she wanted onto it.

Tidus: Aaaand then?

Cid: And then, a bird pooped on the burger! (This actually happened to my cousin :-) And for an even better thing, it was a she and she screamed!!)

Cloud: heh.. That's nothing one time my-

Selphie: Could we please keep on going!!

Cloud: Oh.. Sickening isn't it?

(Something crackles over the PA system)

HMCid: Hello everyone. Welcome to Balamb Garden! Would you please go to the 2F classroom please?

(Everyone starts on there way, following Squall. They try to all get in the elevator.)

Tidus: There isn't enough room!

Kuja: Sure there is!

(Shoves everyone into the elevator)

Everyone: AAHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Siefer: Uhphramph phum pha?

Zell: Well it's not too bad for me!

(Tifa is standing right behind him. Zell is squeezed into her.)

Tifa: Danget Kuja!!

Kuja: Uwee hee hee!! My what a great time we are having!

Siefer: (in a muffled voice) a liphil heph phleese?

(Cid is standing on his face.)

Cid: Oh sorry there! Didn't see ya!

Selphie: Is this thing even moving yet?

Squall: oop.. okay, if I could just reach the button!

Zidane: Which one is it, I could get it!

(He is lying on Garnet)

Garnet: Do you mind a little bit; Zidane!!

Zidane: Oh, sorry; but I can't get up at the moment.

Barret: COULD SOMEONE PRESS THE GOD @#$% BUTTON ALREADY!!

Squall: Zidane, hit the second to the top one!

Zidane: Got it!

(Zidane uses his tail to hit the button)

Lulu: Siefer, I wouldn't mind if you got you're face out from under my skirt!

Siefer: I can't help it! I can't get up what am supposed to do. (Whistles) heh heh.

Lulu: Stop that! (Kicks him)

Siefer: OW! Okay, I'll close my eyes.

(Lulu kicks him again)

Siefer: What?!?!?! Okay, I'm getting up. Wonderful view there, how old are you anyways?

Tidus: Are we there yet?

(The door opens and they all fall to the floor.)

Kuja: He he! Last one in is a.. a.. ahh I forgot!

(Everyone walks by him. Kuja justs stands there trying to think of what he is supposed to say.)

Squall: The room is right here.

(Everyone walks in.)

Cloud: OHH OHH TIFA SIT NEXT TO ME!!

(Squall sits in the back. With Zell sitting next to him. Tidus sits in the second row on the right. Selphie follows. Lulu sits by herself. And Barret and Cid are sitting next to each other. Siefer is sitting alone. Zidane and Garnet sit next to each other. And of course Cloud and Tifa are sitting next to each other.)

HMCid: Welcome on you're scr-

Kuja: (Bursts through door) Hello!! I guess since you're all here I'm the uh.. dang I forgot it again.... (Stands there like an idiot)

HMCid: Excuse me, as I was saying-.. Zell, may I ask were you got that barbecued chicken?

Zell: (With barbecue sauce all over his face and hands) Under the seat.

Lulu: I do believe that is extremely un-

Garnet: Can I have some?

Zell: Sure! (Hands Garnet a bit.)

(All of a sudden Kuja starts running around the room.)

Kuja: I'm a popping weasel I'm a popping weasel!!

(Then he accidentally knocks the chicken from Zell. It lands on the ground.)

HMCid: Stop Kuja everyone, stop it I can't stand it anymore!!

(Everyone gets up trying to catch Kuja, but to no avail. Then everyone, while trying to get Kuja start to step on the chicken and spreads barbecue sauce everywhere.)

HMCid: AAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!

Zell: My chicken!!

(Zell get's on the ground and picks up what is left of the chicken. Kuja snaps it out of his hand then throws it in the air. Unbeknownst to Barret, he starts to yawn. The chicken flies into his mouth and he swallows it whole.)

Garnet & Zell: NOOOOO not the chicken!! Barret you should learn how to share!!

Barret: (On the ground trying to hold on to dear life.) DANG IT KUJA!!! (Starts to shoot him.)

Cloud: O boy, can I help? (Pulls out his sword and runs after Kuja laughing like a maniac.)

Tidus: Everyone stop it!!

(Everyone freezes in position. Including Cloud who is in the middle of the air.)

Tidus: Can we just stop doing this? Kuja just sit down and listen to what Head Master Cid has to say!

Kuja: Sorry I didn't realize I was being so annoying, I will sit down now.

Cid: Dang, I wanted to kill him.

(Everyone starts to head to their own seats and Kuja sits next to Siefer.)

Siefer: Why me?

Kuja: What's the matter?

Siefer: You.

Kuja: Oh, don't worry I only bite when I am in trance!

(Siefer looks at him, not believing his ears.)

Siefer: AAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

That is it for episode 3 please R & R, if you have an ideas, or things I should put into this fic. Please e-mail me at Kaze356@ffextreme.com