Hello everyone! Here is the third chapter of the Tiny Slueth. If you enjoy drunk randomness then you will love this! I hope... Enjoy!
Title: Drunkness Caught on Camera
Author: Tails77
Pairings: um... sorta kinda... HeijixRan and ShinichixKazuha. You'll see...
Anime:Detective Conan/Case Closed
Disclaimer: I do not own. It belongs to Gosho Aoyoma-sama. -bows down- I am not worthy!
Summary: Kaito shows Shinichi and Heiji what the girls did last night...
First things first, Ran gave her new friends Kaito and Aoko a call. She asked them if they could watch the boys while they went to the hardware store to buy, you know, some things that could come in handy. Tape, ropes, nails, etc. At first, Aoko didn't want to because of Makuya. She didn't exactly want to expose her to drunk men. But Kaito convinced her and they dropped off Makuba at Grandpa Nakamori's house and left on their way.
Kaito was happy when he got there, because what he saw, made him think of one word. Or two words depending on how you look at it, but what he saw screamed blackmail or black mail. Whichever, he didn't care he was just overjoyed he had brought his video camera glasses.
The sight before him creeped him out and amused him at the same time. Shinichi and Heiji each had meat products and they appeared to be making out with them.
"Oh, Irene! Your such a luscious kisser. Your lips are so sweet and tender," Shinichi said to a salami.
"Ellery, you dirty girl," Heiji said to a ham.
Everyone sweat dropped, except Kaito who put on his sun glasses with the video camera in the lenses. He didn't risk bringing an actual camera because Aoko had bought the Mega Mop 300 at the mall last week and he saw her sneak it in her purse before they left.
So, Ran and Kazuha left, leaving Kaito to make a perfect black mail video...
The next moring...
"Uh, my head hurts...," Heiji says groggily.
He sits up and notices he is ties to the bed with rope. He grabs his katana which he kept under his guest bed and cut the ropes.
He sits all the way up and sees Shinichi sitting on his bed eating a bowl of cereal. It looked like Shinichi had gotten out of the ropes by kicking them with his mega kick shoes which he still had on.
Then all of a sudden, "Gooood Mooooorniiiiing," Kuroba Kaito comes in singing off pitch.
"God, shut up you bastard," Shinichi yelled.
"Oh, but I prepared a special video for you, don't you want to see it. It will explain a lot of what happened last night because I'm sure you don't remember a thing," Kaito said knowingly.
They blinked simutaneously.
Kaito grinned and started it up the tape on the tv.
On the tape... (Right after Ran and Kazuha left)
Shinichi and Heiji throw the meat in the toilet.
"Woah, my fishy swims way faster then your ducky, Hattori," Shinichi exclaimed smugly.
"Not uh. You cheated. You know your 'fish' is actually Jackie Chan in disguise. And he is like the fastest swimmer ever! He won the Toilet Bowl Olympics," Heiji countered.
"Really! Where's you evidence?"
"Look, he has his karate belt right there!"
"NO! THAT'S HIS GILLS!"
"GOD, YOU KNOW WHAT? SCREW IT!"
Heiji picks up Shinichi's salami/fishy/Jackie Chan out of the toilet and ate the top of the salami/ fishy and Jackie Chan's head.
"You son of a Insert sailor word here"
"Don't call Takagi that!"
"You know what?"
Shinichi takes out Heiji's ham/ducky out of the toilet and bites off part off the left side of the ham/ducky's left wing.
Present...
Shinichi and Heiji turn many different colors but in the end turn into a sickly green.
They both ran into the bathroom and gargled mouth wash for about three minutes. When they came back, Kaito smiled his Kaitou Kid smile and resumed the tape.
On the tape...
"Oh, my, god! Kudou, come look at this cookie! It's absolutly squarical," Heiji exclaimed, holding up a frozen waffle.
"What?! Impossible. There is absolutly no way a cookie can be square. It's just not logical-liscious," Shinichi said.
"Well, what do you call this," Heiji asked, shoving the waffle in Shinichi's face.
"Lemee see it."
Heiji gave Shinichi the waffle and Shinichi took a bite out off it.
"Holy Barnacles. This cookie is a ice cookie! It must not be from our world!"
"Maybe Spongebob made it for revenge against us for eating his pineapple house," Heiji exclaimed with a scared look on his face.
"Oh my gosh! It's gonna come to life and eat our families," Shinichi yelled.
They shoved it in the toaster and started the toaster up.
"Woo, that was close," Heiji said, relieved.
"Yeah," Shinichi agreed.
Kaito stopped the tape.
"Well, what do you think so far, he asked the two guys who's cheeks turned a dark scarlet color. He couldn't decide if they were red from anger or embarassment.
"Alright, Alright," Kaito said scared. World class thief or not, he did not like the odds of fighting the both of them even if they did have hangovers.
I won't show you anymore of the fics of you guys being retards. But don't you want to see how you ended up tied to your bed with lipstick on your mouth,"Kaito asked.
"What," Shinichi and Heiji cried at the same time.
Kaito chuckled and gave them both a pocket mirror. And sure enough, there was a perfect lip stick mark, although a little lop-sided it was definantly visible. A dark brown one on Shinichi and a light red on Heiji.
"How the hell did this happen," Shinichi asked.
"Well, we'll just have to watch and see, now won't we," Kaito said as he pressed the fast forward button on the on the remote.
Heiji and Shinichi couldn't really tell what the clips were but they could've sworn they saw themselves making out with fruits.
He finally stopped and the video showed Ran and Kazuha walking in with a couple of different bags.
On the tape...
Shinichi gets on his knee and shoves Ran's wedding ring towards Kazuha. Ran had left it in a formula at the house so it could get cleaned.
"Kazuha, will you be my luscious legged lovely," Shinichi asked.
Right when Kazuha was about to speak, Heiji got on his knee in front of Ran and gave her a cheerio. Ran was about to go over and slap Shinichi when Kazuha called her over.
They whispered for a few minutes before they went upstairs to their room. When they came back down they were in bra and panties of the lightest shade, they could only be more light if they were see through.
"Hey, Kudou-kun, baby," Kazuha said, seductivly.
"H- H- Hello," Shinichi stammered back.
"Come up here to the bedroom and show me how much of a man you are." Kazuha turned her lips and gave him a quick kiss before swinging her hips dramaticly and started up the stairs, Shinichi in toe.
"You too Hattori-kun," Ran said and gave him the same small kiss and gesture Kazuha had given Shinichi and Heiji had the same reaction.
When they got up there, Ran and Kazuha told the boys to wait and lay down on the bed. The boys obeyed. They walked up to them with the ropes in hand.
"It will be more fun this way. So close your eyes," the girls said simutaniously.
They boys grinned and closed their eyes as directed. The girls took this time to wrap the guys tightly with ropes. They protested of course but after a while they both fell asleep.
The tape ended.
The guys stuttered under their breath. It was hard to tell what they said. It wasn't very audible. But to Kaito it sounded suspiciously something like, 'Damn women. They know my weakness.'
O.K. I'm just going to skip the next part and just give you a few details. Later the guys and the girls had a violent talk. The guys were angry at the girls for seducing them while they were drunk and the girls were mad at the guys for trying to marry someone else. In the end everything was good and they decided never to discuss it again. Aoko ended up beating Kaito with her Mega Mop 300 because the boys told Aoko what he did. So in the end, all was well with the world.
The End, till next chapter. dun dun duuuuun!
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Wow, I got this one out fast... Anyway, I got lots of inspiration for this one! The part where Shinichi and Heiji put the meat in the toilet and thought they were water creatures I got from what happened to me a few weeks ago. I was cleaning out my fish's tank and I had my fish Miko in a cup. I was eating some beef jerky and my hand accidently knocked the cup over and while I tried to catch it I dropped the jerky, so yeah...
As for the square cookie. At lunch in school a few months ago I was sitting with one of my best friends Cassidy. She was staring at the cookie and was telling me a square cookie just wasn't natural. Then she banged it on the table and it didn't break. Her face got all scary and then she said,"Oh my god, this is gay. I bet the cafeteria people just spray-painted the waffles we had last week brown!"
So anyway, please review!
- -Tails 77
