Chapter Three

"You are aware that your ritualistic knocking behavior is symptomatic of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder?"
Amy Farrah Fowler (TBBT Season 5)
"The Infestation Hypothesis"

Morning came faster than Amy was prepared for. First, there was a wake-up text from Sheldon at the crack of dawn. Then, when she didn't respond, her phone began playing Sheldon's ringtone over and over until she wanted to throw it across the room. Finally, when she silenced the phone and was dozing back off, she heard the tell-tale knocks on the adjoining door followed by her name repeated three times.

"No. No. No," she groaned and rolled over, staring blearily up at the white ceiling. Her head was pounding from lack of sleep, and all she wanted to do was close her eyes for a few more hours. Maybe Penny and Bernadette were right. Maybe this trip was a mistake. Maybe she and Sheldon would never have sex. But when the knocks sounded again and Amy jerked herself out of bed to answer the door, she realized there was still one way for her to achieve primal satisfaction with Sheldon.

I can kill him. That would be infinitely satisfying.

She swung the door open. "What, Sheldon?"

He seemed taken aback, but whether it was from her curt tone or rumpled appearance she wasn't sure. After only three hours of sleep, she could well imagine how horrible she looked. Sheldon, however, was the picture of perfection. He was wearing a blue Superman t-shirt that brought out the color in his eyes along with a light green undershirt and khaki pants. There wasn't even a hair out of place. In fact, the only way she could tell that he'd had the same three miserable hours of sleep as her was the slight shadows under his eyes.

"Amy, you're not dressed," he chided.

"You woke me up to tell me this?"

Sheldon sighed. "Amy, according to the itinerary, we are supposed to eat breakfast this morning together at seven." He checked his watch and frowned. "It's 7:05, young lady."

She closed her eyes and bit back a groan of frustration. Of course Sheldon would stick to his schedule no matter what. Amy knew she had no reason to be surprised, but she honestly hadn't considered this when she fell asleep last night. I love him. I can't kill him. Usually, I think these little traits of his are adorable. I'm sure I'll remember that as soon as I'm fully functioning again. She opened her eyes and forced a smile. "You're right. My apologies. If you give me fifteen minutes, I'll be ready to go."

Sheldon nodded. "Make it ten. We've got a schedule to keep and, since we have to pick up the rental car, time is at a premium today. If we hurry, we might be able prevent chaos from erupting all over my perfectly-timed schedule." He said nothing more, just pulled the adjoining door closed behind him when he left. Amy wanted to throw a Bernadette-style temper tantrum, but there simply wasn't time. Amy knew from experience that her boyfriend wasn't kidding with the ten-minute window he'd given her.

Thankful she'd had to foresight to shower the previous evening, she hurriedly dressed in her planned outfit for today, a brown skirt and a pale pink blouse. A pearly white cardigan, hose, and shoes completed the ensemble. She ran a brush through her hair and another through her teeth, hoping, but not really caring if she picked the right tool for the right job. Then, grabbing her purse, she slipped out her door to find Sheldon waiting for her in the hallway.

"Nine minutes," he said, beaming. "Well done."

She tried to hang on to her earlier anger and ignore how handsome he looked when he smiled like that, but it was next to impossible. Just being around him released a cocktail of neurotransmitters like adrenaline, dopamine and serotonin into her brain and made her heart thump a staccato beat in her chest. Even if she hadn't already known, these indicators would have told her that she loved Sheldon. In such cases as these, science was infallible.

"Here is an extra key to my room," he said, holding out the little rectangle piece of plastic.

"You're giving me a key to your room? Why?" Dare I hope …?

"In case there's an emergency and I am unable to open the door. You'll need to save me, of course. Safety first, Amy."

Nope, I don't dare at all. "Yeah, safety first," she repeated, more than a little disappointed.

"Give me your extra one as well. That way, I can save you."

They traded keys, taking the time to tuck the plastic into their respective wallets.

"Are you ready?" Sheldon asked when he was done.

She nodded, following him to the elevator. There was little conversation on the ride downstairs. Amy could tell how tired he was as his movements were slower than normal. Still, he soldiered along, pointing out the restaurant across the street where they would eat.

After a quick meal where she drowned two aspirin with three cups of coffee and listened to Sheldon lecture her on the importance of a balanced breakfast for higher brain function and better colon health, they took a cab to the car rental shop. Once they were firmly settled in their new white Toyota Camry with a GPS dictating the best route to Galveston, her headache was gone and the excitement of the day was making her feel closer to her usual buoyant self.

"Amy, are you feeling better?" Sheldon asked.

She made the turn as the GPS directed. "Yes. Thank you for asking, Sheldon."

"You have barely spoken since I woke you up this morning. I can see that you are in pain. If you want, you could drop me off at my mother's and return to the motel room to rest."

Her heart almost stopped. Sheldon was actually thinking about her needs above his own? It was amazing. "Really? You would do that for me?"

"I'm not as callous as Penny and the others would have you believe, Amy," he said. "You're my girlfriend. It is my job to look after your well-being."

She wanted to kiss him, but settled for sending him a wide smile. "Thank you. And while I appreciate the thought, I think it would be better if we proceed with our day as originally planned."

He frowned down at the itinerary in his hands. "Well, that isn't going to happen. We're ninety-three minutes behind schedule. We'll never catch up now."

"Perhaps it'd be best if we postponed the 'Sheldon Cooper: History of a Genius' tour? That would get us back on track."

He sighed in obvious displeasure. "I suppose. But I would hate for you to miss out on seeing my elementary school or the library I was in when I first decided to become a theoretical physicist. Of course, after I win the Nobel Prize, those will be the hot spots of the official tour, but you'd be the first one able to really appreciate the historical significance of both locations."

"I'll manage to contain my disappointment somehow, Sheldon," she said. "Perhaps we can do it on Saturday or Sunday before we leave?"

He shook his head. "That's no good. We'll be too busy with family nonsense to get away. I suppose we'll just have to do it next year."

She nodded, but then stopped as the implication behind his statement hit her. "You mean you want me to come with you to the reunion next year, too?"

"Of course. You're my girlfriend, and the reunion happens every year. Your attendance will be expected if I am there. Unfortunately, my presence at this event is mandatory. That and my promise to go to a church service once a year were among the conditions my mother made me agree to before she would allow me to move to Pasadena."

Her smile widened into a full-fledge grin. Sheldon was making future plans with her as his girlfriend? Excellent. Looks like I have new data to enter on my chart.

Amy's bubble of contentment didn't burst until they were a few miles from Sheldon's mother's house. Then, the full implications of today's visit hit her. She was going to meet Sheldon's family en masse. Her stomach coiled into a tense bundle of nerves. Meanwhile, Sheldon spent his time blissfully unaware of her unease. He talked nonstop about his research, every once and a while pointing out landmarks of historical consequence to his future in physics.

Apparently, there were quite a few of them. Any other time, Amy might have found herself fascinated by the information Sheldon was readily sharing about his past. But, the nerves wouldn't allow that. Her brain wouldn't stop going over all the ways she could screw this up. What if she said the wrong thing? What if they didn't like her? What if she made a major social faux pas because she hadn't researched the Southern culture carefully enough? Familial pressure was a powerful thing. Amy knew this from personal experience. But, for Sheldon, his mother and his meemaw were the kryptonite to his Superman. If they didn't like her, all the experiments in the world wouldn't be able to save this relationship. Raw panic set in when they'd finally turned on the street Mrs. Cooper lived on. It was all Amy could do not to turn the car around.

"And this is spot where I first read about atoms and realized—"

"Sheldon!" she said, interrupting him. "I know you are happy to be home and want to show me everything. And, as much as all of that information is relevant data to me, I must ask that you discontinue speaking. My nerves can't take a moment more."

"Nerves? What could you possibly have to be nervous about?"

She pulled over on the side of the road before turning to look at him. "What if they don't like me?"

Sheldon looked genuinely befuddled for a moment. "Who?"

Amy rolled her eyes. "Your family."

"No, Amy, that isn't what I meant. I mean who wouldn't like you?"

A wave of love crashed over her at his blunt question. She could see from the earnest expression on his face that he was sincere. "Your mother, for one."

He waved her off. "My mother has already met you and granted her approval of our relationship."

"That's not true. As I remember it, she expressly forbade us from even being friends."

He gave a breathy laugh.

"What's so funny?"

"You mean you actually fell for that thinly-veiled reverse psychology trick she tried to play on us? That wasn't her voicing her disdain for you. That was her giving me a way to get you back in my life while not crushing my ego." He shook his head. "She thinks she's so clever, but I always figure her out sooner or later."

Amy considered this. It certainly made sense, but also made her consider how she'd been so gullible. "So you think she approves of me being your girlfriend?"

"Of course. Why else would she be so insistent that I bring you along with me?"

Relief washed through her, but she couldn't entirely be content yet. "What about your meemaw?"

The mention of his grandmother made Sheldon smile in a way she'd never seen before. It had a dreamy, almost blissful quality to it. Right then and there, Amy decided that she would not rest until she saw Sheldon look that way when he thought of her.

"Don't worry about Meemaw, Amy. She loves and accepts everyone. She's the best person in the world." Even as he said this, something else seemed to occur to him which took away some of his happiness. "Although …"

"Although?" Amy prompted, feeling her panic beginning to return.

"Amy, while I do not expect your interactions with my mother and grandmother to be in any way discomforting, I cannot promise the same in regards to my other family members. Their intellect and manners are well below the standards of decency and decorum. They take delight in tormenting me about my work and life choices, and I find myself concerned that this torment might extend to you."

Amy took Sheldon's hand in hers and, for once, he didn't immediately try to pull away. "Sheldon, don't worry. I can take care of myself in regards to those kinds of people. Believe me; between middle and high school as well as college, I have plenty of experience dealing with all sorts of fatuous miscreants. Besides, from what little research I was able to do on Southern culture in preparation for this trip, I don't believe a matriarch like your mother would allow such uncouth behavior to happen to a guest in her own home."

The worry lines in his face smoothed. "You're right. But, if something should happen in this vein, you need only say the word, and I'll take immediate action. I won't have anyone mocking my woman."

"Thank you, Sheldon," she said. Her heart soared. His woman. Really?

With a nod, he abruptly released her hand and pointed. "The house is right there. We should get going, Amy. At this rate, we're already going to be eight minutes late. I'm not above telling my mother that you are the cause for this."

Amy laughed at the abrupt change in his tone, but still did as he said.