So, I want reviews. lol. Please? I have this project in Drama where you have to pick a person in history and write a monologue in the first person about their life and make a trifold board to go with it. Then we perform it in classrooms around our school. Long story short, I was sick for 3 days and haven't even started...and it's due next Friday...FML. Me and my politically involved mind got Hillary Clinton...oh freggin' joy. I asked my teacher if I could bring up how 'I' stole stuff from the White House and was involved in trying to create the National Health Care Reform bill...trying to ruin everybody's lives...yeah, she vetoed that one on the spot! Party pooper...lol. I wish I would've gotten Sarah Palin, but she was 'too recent', and there was 'too much controversy' involving her. I outta show that woman controversy. ;) And it wouldn't have felt like I was faking it and trying to make an ice queen with too much botox look like an angel with too much botox. Oh, well...at least I didn't get Nancy Palosi! HAHAHA...:) OKAY OKAY...the twelve year old is done ranting now! Anyway...please review and tell me if by some chance you like this. It'll make moi's day! And tips on how to make my project more enjoyable even though I feel like I'm going to be impersonating the devil would be greatly appreciated too. You would be helping my Democratic Lit. teacher out too...the conversations we have...lololol. :)

Livi


Have you ever felt like you could just run? Stop whatever you were doing and sprint down the street, earphones blaring music in eardrums and breath tumbling from body in quick spurts? I felt like that when he found out.

His team. His family. His life. I put them in danger because I was afraid of the implications my past would get me. I made a decision, and I screwed up. And I'm so sorry for that.

Fairytale endings would never come for me, I knew, and so I made my reality as clear and pure as I possibly could. And that meant hurting him.

When I took the job, I didn't realize it would cause me more problems than I already had started. And Leroy Jethro Gibbs was both the best and the tragedy of my life.

This was a job...emotions meant nothing...he meant nothing...and the fact of the matter was, it wasn't true anymore. He became a beautiful mistake to me, and I became a regret and a cold-hearted harpy to him.

He cost me everything. And I almost did the same to him. If he hadn't done what was right or taken matters into his own hands a long time ago none of this would have ever happened. And is it so selfish of me to not believe my own words?

He has changed me. Like my job, it would be a lie if I said otherwise, because he has. He had passion, strife, and loyalty. He built a family when his was destroyed. He taught me how to do what was right. He can never be a regret, a sign of weakness, no, because he is so much more than just a bump in the road.

He was my fatal flaw. Pick any other man who's life I could be sent to infiltrate and I would not have failed. And to add onto the excellent moral values, he was attractive. Silver hair, laugh lines, weathered hands. Most would find him unconventional as far as attraction of 34 year-old. I saw what most couldn't see.

His eyes. Blue. Study them long enough, and they change shades depending on his mood. They are clear and beautiful when he is content. Have a sparkle when he is amused. Turn icy when he is angry or dull when he does not want to show emotion. And dark, dark, cobalt when he is aroused, we can't forget that.

His smile. It's big, and bright, and, dare I say, cheesy. Not like Rivera's evil grin that reminds me humorlessly of my childhood hairless cat or my father's tight-lipped smirk. In combination with his eyes, it's a sight to see.

I ponder lightly if ,(if there is one), our child will look like him.

And then his eyes, flashing full of betrayal and upset cloud my subconscious. He couldn't even look at me. Me, realizing, that there was never any real trust. And knowing that was for the best.

The two minute prior alarm, dings shrilly, and with it a hollow feeling finds its way to my stomach. By now, my heart must look like swish cheese.

"Where you ever a red-head? Cause' I feel like I know you."

I do well to hide the sarcastic laugh that threatens to make its way up my diaphragm.

If he only knew. And that was probably the worst pick up line I had ever heard.

"I have the feeling we'll be seeing each other again. I'll keep an eye on you."

That was a truth, of the many things I'd ever said. He was an irritating guy, just meeting him that few times. I flirted dangerously, I know. I made sure to act like I didn't like him much, but talk like I really did. It worked, I think. And then...towards the end of our encounters, I realized that it became easier to do so without putting on much of a show. Natural, I guess. That should have been the first sign.

"You know, you can tell a lot about a person by how they cut their hair.'

I see him again, a few weeks later. I'd been putting it off, if we're honest with ourselves. Rivera was very persistent, however. I think Gibbs would understand his ways now.

Telling it to DiNozzo, it was very true too. Obviously Gibbs couldn't keep his marine background hidden if he tried. He cared for his country. On the edge of his desk sat a picture of he and what seemed to be a red-headed woman.

They were embracing intimately, obviously emotionally involved. It didn't say anything about a current wife in the file. And from heavy reading he probably didn't have a good relationship with any living divorcees.

I'd have to ask Rivera about that.

"Get out of my chair."

We bicker. I don't let down my guard and verbally spar with him because I want to see what he's made out of. He doesn't disappoint. We make eye contact there towards the end.

That's when I first realized how blue your eyes were.

You did well to hide it too, but I could already tell your eyes are like an open book.

And you tell Tony to let my client go. You really just want me gone.

And I understand. But you don't know I'll be back. I'll be back until the job is done.

And when it's done, there will be no letting go of anything.