Chapter 3: Autumn goodbye

Author's notes: Man, you wouldn't believe how many times I've went to check the stats page of this fic. I'm paranoiac, and unless you let me a review, I'll get this terrible idea that no one has been enjoying it! Well, maybe no one has (lol); but I believe that if you've come all the way 'till here, it can't be that bad, can it? Take on the example of Lord of the Weasley Lampost! He reviewed:-D And by the way, thank you Lord! It was so inspiring to read my first review on this fic! It made me have renewed will to write!

Oh, and one more thing (this one is very important, as I should have posted it in the second chapter): I totally made up the orphanage. I mean, I can't remember if the book supported some kind of description, and now I don't have it with me to check it out. Besides, I needed it to be that way. I'm really sorry if I bothered you!

Disclaimer: Blah, blah, blah! I said: blah, blah, blah! Satisfied?


Summer holidays went by without any more incidents, and Skipper was already in the Hogwarts express when her best friend arrived. Through the window, she immediately recognized her, because although she had her back turned, Skipper was able to see her parents next to her. She called and waved at them, to which they responded likewise. Shortly after, Bridget joined her in the carriage.

As Skipper could finally look clearly at her best friend's face, ready to say a cheery "hi" as she always did, her jaws dropped, "hi" in the middle.

- You like it? – Bridget asked, showing her face from many angles.

- What happened to you?

- I took it off with magic! Dad finally had authorization from the doctor.

- Why, you look… - («almost pretty») – good! («for a change…»)

- Yeah, I know! – Then, she sighed dramatically – Goodbye, huge, ugly, terrible birthmark, hello new nose!

- But when did you do it? You never wrote about it in any of the letters.

- I wanted to surprise you, silly, and it looks like I did. – Bridget explained happily.

- Definitely!

- And look, I've also got a tan! – And, as to prove that she had indeed got tanned, Bridget got up and showed everything from her arms to her legs (she was wearing a dress).

- Cool…

- But you're still pretty white! – Bridget noticed, with some disdain in her voice.

- Yeah…

- And you haven't cut off your hair.

- Nor do I intend to…

- Well, maybe you should. It's too long, you know – And as Skipper gave her an annoyed look, Bridget insisted – What! It's already at you waist! Believe me, now they use short for fashion!

- Well, at least one of us looks good, then. – Said Skipper, sarcastically.

Bridget looked at her, confused.

- Who? – She asked. And as Skipper gave her again an annoyed look, she took it as a compliment, smilling profusely – Oh, thank you!

As the trip went by and Bridget talked about all the changes that had happened to her, and all the plans she had made for the "new Bridget", Skipper found out that it was impossible for her to focus on her friend. Her mind couldn't help to wander, as it often did. «Funny how a makeover can change a person», she though. «Suddenly, it's like she did a surgery to her brain, not to her nose» Still, Bridget was too excited talking about herself to notice.

- You know – Bridget said – It suddenly feels like I'm really a new person, because, well, every time I look in the mirror, well, I'm like a new person, really! It's amazing! I'm so optimistic now, like everything's gonna be alright, it's amazing!

Now everything was, well, "amazing".

Bridget shut up, dreaming about her own great expectations. Then it all began again. Skipper began to feel somewhat depressed. This was nothing like the previous years! Usually, they talked about both their plans (nothing related to beauty), played a little cards, told some jokes, and would even go to other carriages meet again some their classmates. «Maybe it's not too late…»

- Look, I'm very happy for you… But we've been talking about the same thing for over two hours! Can't we just drop the subject, and vary a little? – She asked, hoping she didn't sound indelicate.

Bridget gave her the most offended look, and Skipper immediately wished she had just kept quiet.

- Well, since my recent "updates" don't seem to interest you that much, maybe you can entertain me this time.

- Entertain you? – Repeated the long haired girl, almost amused with the usage of the word.

- Yes! So, tell me news! I mean, something you haven't told me yet by some of you letters, of course!

Tom Riddle's image reading at the orphanage's window immediately popped into her mind, and she bit her lip. «I can't tell her that!», Skipper though.

Meanwhile, Bridget took her sudden silence as a sign that the friend hadn't nothing worth of mention to talk about.

- See? – She said. – Nothing interesting happened to you, so since cool things happened to me, someone has to keep this conversation alive, right?

Skipper looked dumbfounded at her. «Excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom! Be right back», she said, and with that, she left the carriage.

Walking as fast as she could, Skipper locked herself in the bathroom. She didn't really need to use it, but it was a good way of gaining some liberty at least for some minutes.

She sat on the lavatory and closed her eyes for a moment, only enjoying the train's sound, while it shacked a little due to it's high velocity. She felt like being rocked, calming down. Then, she opened her eyes, and tried to make some sense out of her mind. «Bridget's being silly», she though. «But I know she's not like that!» Skipper paused to think, and concluded that her friend was probably just too much excited. «Once she gets used with her new self, she'll be back to being the smart and stubborn girl I befriended years ago». «Besides, it's not like a summer and some magic surgeries would make that much difference, right? She's different outside, and suddenly she thinks there's this new Bridget thanks to a tan and a birthmark that was removed – but a makeover can't really change that much, can it? I mean, does physical appearance matter that much?» And without even thinking about it, Skipper was talking to herself, putting her exact thoughts out of her mind and right into her mouth. Sometimes, it helped her reorganize herself.

- Well, I guess that depends on the person. – A voice said, and Skipper too distracted to notice it wasn't either her inner angel or her inner demon.

- Yeah, but Bridget was never like that. – She replied.

- How was she?

- Well… - Skipper gave the question deep though before replying – Truth is, now that I think about it, that Bridget did seem a little paranoiac with beauty sometimes. But not the way it would grab someone's attention. – She didn't know how to explain.

- How so, then?

- Well… - She paused again to think – She criticised those girls that used beauty as a way to go for after their goals. A lot. She was always talking about it. Or about popular boys who use their looks to go after silly girls, and act as playboys. But she did it so often that I just took it as her own personality. I mean, I though that it was natural for her to criticize things.

- But not that you think about it…

- I realize that she did it way too often. How weird! No, wait, maybe I didn't recall things properly.

- For how many time have you known her?

- Four years.

- Don't you think you would have noticed it earlier? Think harder, girl. – And the voice gave a small yawn, a little bit impatient. She was too focused to notice it. Inner angels and little demons never yawn. At least, not hers.

Skipper though about the matter. She though for a long, long time, as hard as she could, and suddenly everything was as clear as water. Bridget would always be the first to tell her to pick up her hair into a ponytail or something, because it didn't suit her to have it free, when everyone else envied it and said it was just great. If someone complimented her, Bridget would make her feel guilty for it. She also never said "hello" in the mornings, for she would already have some kind of comment ready about this one or that one girl, like «Look how her face is all covered up in makeup! It's incredible how in the name of beauty people will get as far as looking like clowns!». And when Skipper looked to said girl, she was not as half as bad as Bridget said. «Nonsense», she would say, but she would never think of it again. Or if Bridget caught some nice-looking guy innocently smiling to some girl, she would immediately say something of the sorts: «Just because he has white pearl teeth, it doesn't mean he has to show them off all day, always with his mouth all open. How disgusting! It's like suddenly he's great or something! Such a show-off!!». And again, Skipper would disagree, but give it no more though. It wasn't that she hadn't noticed.

- I was in denial, I guess.

- There you have, then.

And she smiled sadly to herself. She couldn't really condemn Bridget, when everyone around her made a pun out of her name to call her "London Bridge(t)", just because she was somewhat fat. «Hey, she's so fat that the entire Express of Hogwarts could pass through her without falling off!», they would say. And Skipper had never seen Bridget cry. She surely was strong, but she had to get her forces out of someplace. Maybe criticizing pretty people was her way of stressing out. After all, lack of beauty was her only "sin". Why did people give it such importance as to make her life a living hell? It had gotten easier over the years, because Bridget had lost a lot of weigh. Still, the scars were already there.

- But you know… - She continued – I have to support her, really. It's annoying, but it isn't as if suddenly she's a terrible person!

Her interlocutor arched an eyebrow in surprise, but she never saw it.

- She's my friend. It's true that she annoyed me, and that many times she was a little insensitive, but she was with me this whole time, and I have to try to see things a little for her own point of view, in order to understand her. She's that way, and I have to accept her the way she is, no matter how. – And thinking of the good times they both had spent together, she smiled more openly this time.

He didn't answer immediately. He had to give it some though, first. For some reason, her words had sink hard inside of him. It wasn't about beauty anymore.

- Pretty words. – He started - But you can never fully take someone as that person is. People talk about love, but is love really that powerful? I don't think so. – Somehow, the interlocutor's voice had grown somewhat resentful and harsh, even mocking.

- You talk as if you weren't part of the people that can love, as if you weren't one of us. – Skipper commented. – But I guess I get your point. I don't think most people can love to the extent of which you're talking about.

Her interlocutor smiled cynically, as if already predicting such an answer. There's wasn't such a thing as love for him. That was the excuse of the minds of the weak.

- But the way I see things – She continued, surprising him, since he didn't think there was any more to add about the matter – Some people, even evil people, were just born that way, so, they're no ones to blame, because they didn't have an option. Or sometimes, life just turns them into the persons they become in the future. Like, when they had to go through a lot, and… Well, you get the point, I guess. I'm not saying one could love them, but at least, try to understand. It would be a first, don't you think? And maybe, just maybe, someone could make the difference. I guess we'll never know! Gosh, this is so confusing! – And she gave a faint laugh. – Never say never, that's my final remark!

After a little pause to think, he asked:

- What is good, and what is evil, for you?

- That's relative. I don't have an answer. I just know that evilness is related with negative feelings, with trying to hurt other people, harm everything… - Once again, she tried to rationalize the whole point – A good person wants to help other good persons, and on a regular basis, they won't mind bad people unless they are prejudiced by them. Evil people are alone. They'll just try to harm pretty much everyone else, because love is a distorted notion in their hearts. So, that keeps things unbalanced, don't you think? For me, there's no thing as yin yang, or whatever that's called. Because they're alone, and they will always will! I pity them for it. For a good person, bad feelings are wrong. For a bad person, it just doesn't matter. They're insensitive to it. Gosh, it's hard to put things on perspective, but from my point of view, even if the whole world succumbs into darkness, and there's just a small amount of good persons, I know I'll be amongst them, and somewhere in my heart, I'll always pity the evil ones, because they probably never had a chance to love, and God knows how wonderful It is! I was lucky because, since I was given such feelings, I also am able to retrieve them. Evil persons don't even know how unhappy they are, because they never knew better. I pity them. I really pity them. Weird, isn't it? I know I wouldn't pity an assassin if he killed my mother, I would hate him instead, but putting things in perspective again, or trying to, it's like I'm unlucky because I lost my beloved one, but he's unlucky too because he wasn't given the opportunity to understand a humans' hearth as it is, and how bad is to kill a mother, because that mother can love us, and he wouldn't even be able to feel it. Evil people are always alone. In a way, they're always victims. And again… – She stopped, feeling as if she had talked too much.

- Go on. – The voice said. She bit her lip, and did as told.

- And again, it's all about taking the persons as they are. Good persons will always find happiness in the silliest things, because they were born that way. Evil persons not, so they end up being martyrs. If we see things upon their points of view, everything must be gray. I don't know… It's probably all about power, greediness, jealousy… Mostly power. They need power in order to fulfil that emptiness in their hearts. I don't think it's easy. In their point of view, that's the world as it is. Can we blame them for it? We can blame them for the horrible things they do, not because of their reasons and what they feel. Or actually, don't feel. They didn't create that emptiness themselves. Their quest for power is their need for something more… Like, that there must be more to life than emptiness. Everyone feels that way, the difference remaining on what they want to fulfil their lives. It's not easy for everyone. In that aspect, we're all equals. So, they're persons too, who happen to have imperfections as everyone else. – She stopped, downcast. – You must think I'm crazy.

He didn't answer. He simply wouldn't have known what to say, even it he wanted.

And suddenly, her eyes went wide open, and she suppressed a scream with both her hands. «Shit!» And with that, she got up and unlocked the door. Tom Riddle was standing in front of her, sitting on the floor, his eyes somewhat lost. «Double shit, it's him!», she though again.

- Oh, I'm so sorry, I hadn't realised I was talking with someone else… - «Oh great, now he'll definitely think I'm nuts!» - I mean, sometimes I have this habit of mine of talking alone, as it helps me to put things on perspective. I'm so sorry! And you probably wanted to go to the bathroom, and you couldn't, all because of my random ramblings… I'm so, so sorry! – And she truly was. – Gosh, this is so embarrassing!

Tom Riddle slowly got up, trying to put order in his mind. «Act cool», he told himself. And so he did. With his best expressionless face, he looked at her.

- Don't need to be sorry! – He said. That didn't make her feel any better. – But next time you feel like you need to put things in perspective, feel free to talk to me.

- Oh, thank you. I must certainly will. – She lied, forcing a smile. Obviously, she would never do it, for she knew he was only being polite, as he always was. – Well, I have to go, now. My friend must be worried.

And she fled away from him – not running, for it would be suspicious – but keeping a fast walking pace.

Tom Riddle, himself, wasn't so sure about his own proposition. Did he really want to listen to her opinions? Obviously, at the beginning he though she was quite silly, rambling alone, then talking to him as if it was only natural that voices would come out of thin air, bothering him with her problems with her friend, and making him wait outside the door when all he wanted was to pee, and there was only one small goddamned bathroom in the whole train. But somehow, he had found himself interested about what she had to say in the end, when they were talking about good and evil.

She was definitely weird. He couldn't imagine of anyone who would have had though of those things the way she did, and that was what had caught his interest. But giving it a second though, she was still a silly mindless girl, who probably had had just a productive moment of something remotely similar to intelligence – no, wait, originality. Besides, he was no one to be pitied. People would have to fear him, not pity him! One day he would show the world how pitiable he was, when he took over everything. Stupid girl.

Obviously, she hadn't talked those things about him. No one knew of his true self, except for his Slytherin comrades. But he had felt it just like the same!

When she was sure he had lost sight of her, she started running, and when she finally found her carriage, Bridget almost pulled off her head. «No one falls asleep peeing on the bathroom!», she yelled, for that had been Skipper's excuse. Eventually, Bridget calmed down, and they started talking again. This time, Skipper really made an effort on keeping focused on what her friend had to say, and truly felt happy for her. Her mind only wondered around one single time, when she looked at the castle of Hogwarts for what had been her first time in months. «Good bye, Summer! Welcome, Autumn!»

Maybe this was, indeed, a new beginning.