Silent Night
Holy Night

"THIS ISN'T POSSIBLE!"

All is Calm
All Is Bright

"LOOK OUT FOR THAT TRUCK!"

Round-

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

~MC~MC~MC~MC~

Temperance and Booth sat frozen in the sleigh, eyes wide, pupils dilated and knuckles white from where they had been grabbing any handhold they could find. Parker was bouncing in his seat, giddy.

"That was so cool, dad!" Parker screamed with glee. "Let's do it again."

"That...that did not happen." Temperance mumbled.

Booth trembled. "Oh my God."

"That...that did not happen."

"Dad, can we do that again?"

Booth looked at his son. "Parker, let daddy finish wetting himself, ok champ?"

"...Ok."

"That...that did not happen."

"Bones, stop saying that."

"That..."

"BONES!"

The reindeer bellowed in frustration.

Booth glared at them, glad to have something to take his anger out on. "What are you so mad about, huh?"

"They want you to do Santa's job, since you killed him."

"I didn't kill Santa!" Booth complained, turning back to the reindeer. "Right?" He blinked. "I'm arguing with reindeer."

"That...that did not happen." Temperance mumbled. "In order to fly, maximum lift can only be..."

Booth chose to ignore Temperance at that point and focus on the here and now. "Ok...we are no where near the house. Hey Comet, can we go back to Rebbecca's house?"

The reindeer all stomped their feet.

"You have to deliver the presents, dad." Parker stated.

"What?"

"The presents." he pointed at the bag filled with looked at his son, an eyebrow raised, and Parker merely sighed. "Come on, dad. You have to be Santa!"

"I won't be Santa, I will be the strange guy in his underwear with reindeer crap on his foot trudging around in their living room."

Parker grinned. "You could wear the suit."

"The suit...the suit the dead guy was wearing?"

That snapped Temperance out of it. "Booth, you can't wear evidence. We need to have Hodgins look for insects and-"

"Bones...we just flew...in a sleigh. I think we are beyond squint powers." Booth sighed, holding out his hand. "Give me the pants."

"YAY!" Parker cried out.

Temperance shook her head. "Booth...you can't honestly believe any of this."

"I don't know what to believe. This is all so crazy...so maybe it is time to try some crazy." Booth grimaced as he slipped on the baggy red pants. "Hope this guy doesn't have an STD."

"What's an STD?"

"It stands for a sexually transmitted disease-"

"Bones...don't tell him what an STD is." Booth pulled on the boots, before ditching his robe and slipping on the jacket. "Ok, how do I look?"

"Like you are wearing an oversized Santa suit you got from a corpse." Temperance commented.

"You look great dad!" Parker said, handing his father the hat. Booth pulled it on, giving his son a cheesy smile, before he grabbed the toy bag, preparing to give it a hard tug.

However, the moment his hand touched the rope, Booth found himself being lifted up, dangling in the air before the bag lowered his towards the chimney.

"Oh, I should have cut down on the Mac and Cheese." Booth muttered, sinking down into the chimney.

Temperance stared at where Booth had gone.

"You aren't going to freak out again, right?" Parker asked.

~MC~MC~MC~MC~

Seeley Booth had been in war, had been through FBI training, had survived kidnappings, torture and nearly being blown up. He'd even survived working with the squints.

But this was the most hair-raising thing he'd ever done.

Booth slowly tiptoed around the tree, setting presents down wherever he thought they might look good. He practically cried for joy when he laid the last one down.

"Agent Booth?"

Booth looked up, freezing at the sight of his boss' boss standing there in gray pjs, looking at him.

"Is that you, Agent Booth?" Director Hacker asked.

"...no." Booth said finally. "This is a dream. You are dreaming."

"I am?"

"why else would I be here?" Booth asked.

"...good point."

Booth nodded. "This is a dream...about how you find your job unfulfilled. How you long to be...a delivering man in Cleveland. Or a Call Center Rep in India. Or Batman. Take your pick. Now...I need to go now...bye."

Hacker waved. "Bye." Once Booth was gone, Hacker rubbed his chin. "Be Batman...I am the night...hmmm..."

~MC~MC~MC~MC~

"Great job dad!" Parker said as Booth returned up the chimney.

"Thanks buddy. Let's just...Bones, what are you wearing?"

Temperance was decked out in Mrs. Claus' pants, white fur jacket, boots and circle hat, looking decidedly less cold or insane. "I have decided this must be a dream, so I am going to go along with it. It is no different than when I thought I was Wonder Woman or a Manga character." Ok, only slightly less insane. She looked over herself. "Other than being designed for a woman of large size than myself, it is rather comfy."

"...ok, whatever Bones, great to see you in the spirit." Booth jumped into the sleigh. "Now, lets get the hell out of here, before we get arrested."

The reindeer took off, the sleigh flying fast...only to land at the house next door.

"This...is going to be a long night."

~MC~MC~MC~MC~

(New York)

Richard Castle stared out his window, head tilted as he watched Temperance Brennan fly by in a sleigh. He promptly decided the next morning to inform his mother she was never allowed to make Egg Nog again.

~MC~MC~MC~MC~

(Camden County)

"And a toy robot for Randy...and a mustache comb for Earl..." Booth muttered.

"Hey Santa." Darnell Turner said, walking towards the bathroom.

"Hey Crab Man." Booth muttered, getting back to work.

~MC~MC~MC~MC~

(Michigan)

"Start the sleigh, start the sleigh!" Booth shouted, jumping in as lights flicked on inside the country house. They just managed to make it before a man rushed out, a BB gun in his hand.

"Don, what's going on?" His wife called out, as his youngest son joined him out in the snow.

"Nothing Mary, go back to bed. Kurt, come on."

Kurt frowned. "Didn't that look like Kevin's friends?"

~MC~MC~MC~MC~

(Somewhere over Japan)

"I think that's the last of them!" Booth said, watching the sun begin to rise. "Which means we can finally go home...thank God."

Temperance frowned. "This is one vivid dream, but the use of worm holes does explain how Santa could visit all those houses."

"All I know is I want to go to bed and not wake up till Arbor Day. Alright Comet and Cupid and all the rest...lets go home...Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"