Remind me to listen to you," Sans said tiredly to Frisk the next morning. They sighed, flopping down in the chair in front of him.
You read the stories before going to bed, didn't you? they deadpanned. Sans smiled sheepishly.
"Guilty as charged," he admitted. "I have a natural curiosity." Frisk sighed, and poured themselves a cup of coffee.
That'll be the death of you one day, they signed, just as one of the resident psychopaths walked in.
"Heyo," the red-eyed demon said, stealing Frisk's cup of coffee. The pacifist sighed.
Hello Chara, they signed tiredly as their twin slid into the seat next to them. Chara nodded at them, then glared at Sans.
"So we're talking about your death, right?" they asked. "How can I be of assistance?" Sans sighed and kneaded his temples.
"We aren't killing anyone, Chara," he said flatly. The demon pouted.
"Dammit," they muttered, taking a swig of their stolen coffee. They immediately spit it out, right all over Sans. "Gah! Frisk, what did you put in this?!" Frisk gave them a deadpan look while simultaneously trying not to laugh at Sans. The skeleton was impressed, honestly, but then again, the kid was a master at pulling off faces that should been impossible to do.
Nothing, the pacifist signed. You know I drink my coffee black. Chara glared at them.
"Screw you, Miss Pacifist," they muttered darkly. Frisk rolled their eyes.
The same to you, Miss Genocide, they signed, just as Chara caught sight of Sans. The demon burst out laughing.
"Pffft- hahahaha! Good lord Sans, you look- pfft- fricking hilarious!" they gasped. "You should wear coffee more often." Sans sighed, wincing when he felt a trickle of lukewarm coffee run inside his eye socket.
"Well- I'm gonna go wash my eye sockets out," he muttered, standing up from the table. "Frisk, give Chara hell for me, will you?"
Sans didn't wait for a reply, hurrying up the stairs in favor of washing the coffee from his eye sockets. The last thing he needed was for it to dry, the last time it did it took hours to clean out.
Now at the bathroom sink, Sans began the tedious process of cleaning out his eye sockets, cussing every time he managed to poke himself.
"Dammit Chara," he muttered, wringing out the coffee-stained clothe. "You did that on purpose, ya dickhead- GYAH-HAH-HAH-! WHAT THE FFFFFFFFFFFFFF-" Sans stumbled away from the mirror, 'eyes' locked on the reflection- the one that wasn't his.
A little girl. A dead one, to be precise. One with a bashed-in head, and covered in dirt and blood. Trails of blood made their way down her face, and the very same liquid dripped from her radioactive green eyes in what Sans assumed was her substitute for tears.
Then she vanished. Poof, just like that, she was gone.
Sans stood up, breathing erratically, when he realized something:
That little girl had fit the description of another creepypasta he'd read; one called 'Play With Me Sally.'
Sans felt sick when he realized that if she was real; her origin was too.
That was fucked up, Sans decided. Really, really fucked up.
Having totally forgotten about the now dry coffee in his eye sockets, Sans stumbled down the stairs and plonked down at the table, much to the surprise of the demon and human there.
"You ok?" Chara asked, poking his skull- and none to gently either. Sans waved her away, head in his hands. A flicker worry passed through Frisk's vibrant green eyes.
Sans? They signed. You ok? What happened? The short skeleton sighed and collapsed against the wall.
"Frisk?" He asked tiredly. "I think I found another creepypasta," he shuddered. "Or rather, she found me." Frisk and Chara stood up, the former looking rather concerned and somewhat frightened, while the latter looked mostly excited about getting to see another killer.
"Who was it?" They asked simultaneously. Sans sighed, and scratched away at some of the drying coffee on his face. He'd get the stuff in his eye sockets later.
"Play With Me Sally," he said shakily. Frisk inhaled sharply, while Chara's evil look faded into pure rage.
"Shit, that story is real?" The demon asked. Sans nodded soundlessly. Chara exhaled.
"Shit…" they mumbled. "Really puts things in perspective, doesn't it?" Sans nodded, sitting down at the table.
The three of them were silent for a while, till Chara spoke up.
"So what are we gonna do about this?" They asked. Frisk and Sans stared at them incredulously.
"What?" They chorused. Chara rolled their bloodred eyes.
"What are we gonna do about these 'creepypastas'?" They repeated. Sans stared at them, shocked.
"... Is it just me, or does it sound like your asking to help." Chara rolled their eyes again.
"These pastas seem to be targeting you, Sans," they deadpanned. "I don't want them to kill you." Sans narrowed his eyes.
"Who are you and what have you done with Char-"
"I want to kill you myself." Sans sighed, and collapsed further into his chair.
There's the Chara we all know and love, Frisk signed half-heartedly, just as the Enragement Flower in the living room started screaming at the top of his lungs.
"HEY! IM OUT OF GUMMI WORMS OVER HERE! SOMEONE GO GET ME MORE!" Sans rolled his eyes.
"In a minute," he called back to the buttercup. He turned back to the small group, ignoring Flowey, who was screaming profanities in the background.
"So what's our gameplan then?" He asked. Chara grinned deviously.
"We'll set a trap," they said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Sans rolled his eyes.
"Do you really think that'll stop them?" He asked. "They're killers. Surely they have experience with avoiding traps." Chara bit into a block of chocolate.
"You managed to set a trap for me," they pointed out causally. "And it worked. If you can catch me, I'm sure you can catch a couple of human killers." Frisk frowned.
Not all of them are humans though, they said. Some of them are ghosts, demons, and other things I don't even want to go into. Chara rolled their eyes.
"We can deal with that later," they decided. "Let's just focus on setting traps for the human ones, eh?" The fiddled with their necklace.
"Just take it one step at a time."
~I'm rather new to this form of writing, but this totally isn't Slendy's mansion~
"Wait, what do you mean she's coming here?!"
Jeff's angered yell echoed throughout the mansion, and EJ sighed tiredly, kneading his temples.
"Is Jeff still freaking out over the fact that Jane is coming to the mansion?" Sally asked from where she was playing with her Teddy bear, Charlie. EJ absentmindedly brushed a trickle of black tar from his eye socket.
"Yes," he said shortly. "Are you sure he saw you?" Sally sighed.
"Yes." She said for what felt like the fifteen time. "He looked scared shitless." EJ sighed, and BEN floated in through the telly.
"Jeff's still freaking out," he snickered. "It's hilarious, you guys sure you don't wanna watch?" EJ sighed.
"Later, BEN," he said tiredly. BEN frowned and sat cross-legged in midair.
"So who's gonna go after him tonight?" He asked, then paused. "We are going after him, right?" EJ nodded.
"Yes, yes of course we are," he said. "Slender approved the idea. We were thinking of sending either you, or me." BEN shook his head.
"I can't go," he said. "I've plans to mess around with another kid tonight." EJ rolled his eyes(?).
"Alright, I'll go instead," he said. BEN bit his lip, suddenly troubled.
"So how does Jane factor into this?" He asked. "She's gonna find out sooner or later, she's more perceptive then people think." EJ sighed.
"We'll cross that road when we get to it," he muttered. "I honestly don't think she'll be that much of a problem, she's not a proper creepypasta like us and mainly hunts Jeff. I'm pretty sure the skeleton and his family will be safe from her." BEN nodded, watching absentmindedly as Jeff ran down the stairs, a backpack slung over his shoulders. The videogame glitch sighed.
"Leaving so soon Jeff?" He asked. "How long till your back?" Jeff rolled his unblinking eyes.
"I'll be back when Jane is gone," he muttered. "The few times- actually, few thousand- times I run into her drive me nuts already. I don't want to have to deal with her 24/7." BEN rolled his bloodred eyes.
"You'll be back soon enough," he predicted. "You're the most well-known pasta of us all, it won't take very long for someone to recognize you." Jeff scowled- as much as he could with a cut-in smile.
"We'll see, elf boy," he muttered before strolling out the front door. Sally sighed, standing up from where she was hunched over her bear.
"If the police don't get him, the fangirls will," she said. BEN smirked.
"Which one d'you think'll get to him first?" He asked. A thoughtful look dawned on Sally's features.
"The fangirls," she decided. "Most of them are actively looking for him anyways, and the police won't know he's out and about till someone alerts them." BEN nodded, absentmindedly pulling up a block of code and messing around with it. Sally immediately sat down next to him to watch him work, just as Jeff ran back in, with lipstick all over his face, blood on his hoodie, and a disturbed look in his eyes. Eyeless cocked an eyebrow.
"Back so soon Jeff?" He asked. Jeff nodded mutely, and collapsed on the couch next to the cannibal.
"The fangirls are getting worse," he muttered. "I wasn't even gone for five minutes before a horde of them attacked me!" BEN rolled his eyes and vanished the block of code, much to Sally's disappointment.
"So how many of them did you kill?" He asked, referring to the blood the serial killer was currently covered in. Jeff shuddered.
"Only one, but the others went crazy after that, and begged to die at my hand, or go killing with me," he rolled his eyes. "Crazy bitches."
"Should we go on a massacre and kill some of them then?" Sally asked unsteadily. Everyone stared at her. She glared at them.
"What?" She asked. "I have my own fans too, y'know, and I'm not to keen on running into one of them." Jeff shrugged.
"Makes enough sense, I suppose," he agreed. "So what night should we go killing? And who should come with us?" Jack shrugged.
"Whoever wants to, I suppose," he responded. "Jeff, are you still on lock-down mode, or will you be able to come with us?" Jeff snorted, absentmindedly cleaning the blood off his knife with the sleeve of his hoodie.
"Please, I wouldn't miss a full-out massacre for the world," he said. "I'll be there. Besides that though," he leaned forward. "When are we going out after the skeleton?" EJ and BEN exchanged glances.
"BEN and I were just talking about that, actually," the cannibal said. "We've decided that I'll go, since BEN is busy with a different kid." The videogame glitch nodded. Jeff pouted.
"Why can't I go?" He asked. "And why would BEN get to go?" EJ sighed.
"You promised you'd leave him alone Jeff," he said. Jeff frowned.
"So?" He asked. EJ gave him an eyeless glare.
"Don't be the guy that breaks your word, Jeff," the cannibal said. "Those guys are worse then Zalgo." Jeff rolled his eyes.
"Alright, fine," he said, absentmindedly tossing his knife up and then catching it. "But why would BEN get to go?" Eyeless sighed.
"You really didn't do your homework, did you Jeff?" He asked tiredly. "BEN could drive the Skeleton family insane without killing them." BEN nodded.
"I'm pretty good at manipulating people," he agreed. Jeff flipped him the finger.
"From behind a computer screen," he said. "You're probably one of the least persuasive people I know." BEN scowled and pulled up his block of code again, messed around with a few digits, then put it away.
"I just disabled the wifi in your room," he deadpanned. "And set your internet history to veiwed to the entire Underealm in 5 hours." A wave of panic crashed down Jeff's face.
"What- no, BEN, you can't!" The videogame glitch grinned.
"I just did."
"Undo it!"
"No."
"Undo it!"
"My answer remains the same."
"UNDO IT LINK OR SO HELP ME I WILL HURT YOU!"
"I have half a mind to broadcast it sooner because you called me Link."
"10."
"Saying numbers won't do anything."
"9."
"..."
"8."
"... Are you…?"
"4."
"Hey, you skipped some!"
"3."
"Run, BEN."
"2."
"Yeah, just run BEN."
"1."
"Ok, yeah I'm going- JEFF STOP CHASING ME- JESUS, WHY ARE YOU PULLING A KNIFE ON ME?"
Ah, our internet history. The one thing we fear most, and will do anything to protect.
Ok, but can we just take a moment to appricate the fact that I actually updated a week after the last update?! I've actually got an update schedule for once!
Ladies and gentlemen, you just witnessed a moment in history: Kjm126316 actually developed an update schedule.
…
I can tell none of you are as enthused about this as I am.
*Sigh* it's important to me, ok?
Ok, moving on, thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far! I am legitimately surprised that so many people have reviewed so far, since creepypasta is basically a dead fandom.
A cookie for you: ? (::)
Au revoir, little biscuits!
