Yukari, Ran, and Chen. Were all at home, Yukari was waiting for who she deemed to be a very special guest indeed.

"Yukari-sama! I swear! If you and Duke do something gross, I'm going to vomit!" said Ran.

"Ran." replied Yukari, "Your my shikigami, if me and Duke were to...couple up...Its your job to sit idly until I tell you otherwise." she continued sternly.

There was a few voices coming from the front door.

"Oh damn, Peter Sam? How do you knock on these kinds of doors!"

"Look, Sir Handel! You just either knock on the wall or on the wooden bit!"

"But what if I rip the paper?"

"You will have to repair it then, Falcon."

"Duke!"

"That enough! If you break the door, you fix it? You hear me!"

"Your just going to say its a nice gesture on your behalf."

"I think I will."

"GRANDPUFF!"

Ran opened the door, there was Duke and his two vassals, Peter Sam and Sir Handel.

"Hello, Ran." said Duke confidently.

"Hello. Duke." said Ran, gritting her teeth in annoyance.

Duke and those who came with him entered, Peter Sam stayed with Ran.

"I know the feeling. If Duke and Yukari do anything major? You get Chen and I get Sir Handel and we'll go outside." said Peter Sam.

"Alright. But I'm going to kick Duke if he does anything."

"Why don't you kick Yukari instead?" suggested Peter Sam.

"Its complicated." Ran did not want to explain who and what a shikigami is to Peter Sam, she thought it too lengthy.

Duke came over for dinner, and possibly something from Yukari. Yukari hoped the same.

Ran served dinner and everyone was eating, Yukari and Duke sat next to each. The two were flirting with each other, much to the distaste of the others.

"I swear!" grumbled Sir Handel.

"Swear what?" asked Peter Sam.

"I swear, old people should not be fucking!"

"But Falcon! Duke and Yukari hadn't fucked yet."

"Let's hope there's not a 'yet'. There should be a 'never'!"

Ran nodded in agreement, it was hypocritical of her, as she was at least over 900 years old, but not as old as Yukari, who was thousands of years old.

Dinner was over an hour later, Yukari went away and Duke followed. What happened next, nearly made them puke. A loud thumping noise was heard.

"OH! OH! OH! OH! OH!"

"YUKARI!"
"DUKE!"
"WHAT THE FUCK?!" shouted Sir Handel

Peter Sam, knew that the situation had gotten worse and suggested they leave the house. Outside was much quieter, but you could still hear the sound of Duke and Yukari fucking roughly, luckily it was only a slight sound.

"Good idea, Peter." said Ran.

"I know. I knew this was going to happen." said Peter Sam.

"Jesus Christ! I hope they won't do anything stupid!" said Sir Handel indignantly.

Ran looked away suspiciously, "I should have warned them." she thought, "I saw the doujin artist Yukari hired."

"Ran?!" said Sir Handel, "Do YOU know anything about this?"

"I forgot to tell you that Yukari and Duke were going to screw, because I saw the doujin artist in the closet." replied Ran.

"What's a doujin?" asked Peter Sam innocently.

"Its like a homemade manga!" said Chen excitedly.

"What a manga then?"

"Its like a comic book, but you read the panel right to left."

"Leave it to the Japanese to over complicate something as simple as a comic strip! They're worse than the Germans."

Ran took a large stick and bashed it on Sir Handel's head.

"I'm sorry!" he said after the sixth beating from Ran.

"You better be!" she said, crossly.

"What's a German?" asked Chen.

"They're people from Germany." explained Ran.

"They're nazis, that's what!" Sir Handel said as Ran resumed hitting him over the head.

"I don't how who's older? You or Duke." joked Peter Sam.

"I least I know what age to stop fucking!" boasted Sir Handel in-between Ran smacking him with a long stick.

"But you should know how not to be a racist git." replied Peter Sam, "Where did you learn such trash?"

"From Gordon!"

"I suspect just as much, he was all for that bloody Brexit thing."

"What's Brexit?" asked Chen.

"Its the reason why our money is worthless. But your money is worth much more than ours." explained Peter Sam.

"You so go good explaining things to Chen." complimented Ran.

"And Chen is good at explaining things to me. Say, what does Yukari want with a doujin artist anyway?"

Ran whispered into Peter Sam's ear. "Gross!" he exclaimed. But he wanted to play a trick on Sir Handel. So he told him that Yukari and Duke were having a porno made. Sir Handel promptly projectile vomited.

Peter Sam laughed.

"Its not funny!" protested Sir Handel.

Ran stopped to listen to something, "I think Yukari and Duke's done!" she said.

"Bout time!" grumbled Sir Handel.

The four walked back into the house. However, they found that Yukari and Duke had moved to the atic.

"Oh good god. Here we go again!" thought Sir Handel.


Yukari and Duke were digging through boxes and crates of stuff, Yukari and her shikigamis had collected over the years that they were alive. Duke found an old wood carving of what looked like Yukari, but was a woman with very long, black hair.

"Oh Duke!" said Yukari, "You found that picture of me from back in my Heian days."

"Heian?" said Duke, "What's that?"

"Oh it was a wonderful time, where women wore long robes and longer hair. It was a time of free love and we enjoyed it." said Yukari.

"Oh? So its just like those 1970's?" asked Duke.

"Similar."

"Ah."

Yukari hugged Duke from behind, "How good do you think I'd look if I wore my hair like that?"

"I think you'll look wonderful."

"I think I might just do it."

Yukari found a box in the far corner, it was covered in a thick layer of dust and she opened it. "This is the only kimono I have from that time."

"I think you'll look smashing in that."

Yukari tried to put the kimono on, she could barely fit in it. To avoid ripping or tearing it, she took it off and put back her regular clothes on.

There was a knock. "Can we come in grandpuff? Are you clothed!"

"Sure!" said Yukari.

"We're clothed." said Duke.

Peter Sam and Ran climbed into the atic.

"Peter Sam? The Heian times were just like the 1970's!"

"The Heian era?!" sniffed Ran.

"Yukari told me. Big hair and free love."

"Yukari-sama! Are you glorifying the Heian Period again?!" said Ran.

"Maybe..." said Yukari in a fun mysterious way.

"You know that everybody died when they reached their 20's and everything was covered in shit and the government did jack."

"Ran. Don't ruin that period of time for me!"

"There's a reason why the samurai and the shoguns took over."

"Ran. Stop it."

"You dated one!" shouted Ran.

"Ran. I'm going to punish you hard if you don't stop!"

Ran stopped, but she was indignant. She knew that the Heian Era was utter trash, but ever since Yukari had a fling with a man named Genji, all what Yukari could do was glorify those days.

"Duke. Its getting late and you need to get some rest." said Peter Sam, breaking the slience.

"But the night is young, dear Peter!"

"Duke! The Primriver Sisters invited you to a concert at the Human Village in the late morning and we can't have you wake up at noon again."

"Your right, Peter Sam. Let's go home."

"Come on Duke."

Duke said his goodbyes to Yukari and Yukari said she'd grow her hair out for him. But Duke requested that she didn't dye her hair black. Ran could only give a stern glare at Yukari, who returned the glare back.

Sir Handel, Peter Sam, and Duke left. As they were on their way, they heard something rustle in the bushes. Duke drew his saber and pointed at the bush.

"Its only an animal or one of those youkai." said Peter Sam.

"You may be right, Peter Sam. But one must never lower their guard. Getting slain in an ambush would never suit his grace!" replied Duke.

"You are his grace! Now stop referring to you in the third person and let's go home!" said Sir Handel crossly.


"That was close." said Christopher Awdry to himself.

He had forgotten to write a tag that said 'Luckily, no one was hurt.' and if Duke had attacked him, it be all over. As soon as Duke and his vassals were gone, Christopher returned to reconnaissance. He looked through a pair of binoculars at the Yakumo household. He had a feeling someone here was part in killing his father. He didn't know who, but he thought it'd be best to wait it out.

"I mustn't do any unnecessary killing." he thought and soon returned to the forest to hide for the night.