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"How could I ever,

Try to be better, Nobody ever lets me in,

I can still see you, this ain't the best view,

On the outside looking in."

Excitement, Peter thought, was the word of the day.

His father would be positively ecstatic to learn that he would be sharing a dorm with two members of different, prominent pureblood families. In fact, he could almost hear his parents' voices in his head (if he had been a romantic at heart, he might have entertained the whim that they were guiding him).

However, as he fumbled, trying to pull on his robes and glance at his watch at the same time, he felt a pang of loneliness. Ridiculous, it had only been a day- he flushed at the thought of what the others would say if they knew his thoughts. Making his way to breakfast, he wondered what his parents would do in his position- what they had done.

Well, he mused, they would have been strong enough and smart enough that they probably hadn't even cared about leaving home. He imagined that the other members of his dorm rather felt the same way. But he just wasn't cut out of the same cloth...was he?

A desperate sort of longing came over him as he saw them eating. He hadn't yet worked up the nerve to join them, so he sat alone. But one day, he promised himself. One day, he wouldn't be so afraid.

Peter made it to his first class only a few minutes late, although Professor McGonagall had stared him down for awhile- Merlin, she was terrifying- and he felt sufficiently torn as he entered the classroom, freezing mid step. There were only two empty seats left, one of them was across the room by the window. The other was next to Sirius Black, who was tapping his quill on the surface of the desk... and looking at Peter as if he knew exactly what he was thinking.

Peter chose the window. He regretted it instantly, knowing he had lost an opportunity, but he supposed there was no use crying over spilt milk, after all. Hurrying to catch up on the notes that were already scrawling on the board, he hastened to his bench and pulled out quills, ink and parchment.

By the time Peter finally finished copying the notes, McGonagall was well into a lecture on the applications and history of Transfiguration, and it dawned on Peter that this class would not be easy for him. Nervously hoping the other classes would come more naturally to him, he decided he would consult Remus (who seemed to be faring very well, in his opinion), and perhaps garner his thoughts on the other two boys of their dorm- he had quickly learnt that Remus had many valuable inputs at times.


It was the first weekend of the year, and Sirius was glad for the time to himself.

The past week hadn't been easy; even though he avoided the Slytherins almost completely, shell shocked silences had warped into sneering insults, honestly catching him off guard. He wondered what they had told his family behind his back, and knew that their confidence had probably been backed by the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. The thought made him more than slightly nauseous.

As for his mother…

At the entrance to the dorm, he observed Remus lying on his bed, reading a book, and Peter talking quietly. James was standing in the middle of the room, wearing a deep frown. When James heard the door open, he jumped violently, and as Sirius caught a glimpse of the seal on the parchment he was holding, he realised why.

"That's mine," he snapped, stalking over to James and snatching the letter from his hand. He felt his fingers shake and made a fist, crumpling the letter to a point of no return. Peter fell silent and Remus looked up.

"I'm sorry," James said, looking both remorseful and defiant at the same time. "I didn't mean to pry, it's just that your trunk was mak-"

"Forget it," Sirius said coldly. "Just remember that the next time you go through my things without my permission, I won't let it go as easily." Smoothing out the parchment, he reread what they had written and clenched his jaw. The thought that he had during his Sorting seemed utterly foolish now- how stupid could he have gotten?

James' eyes hardened at his words, but he said in a carefully measured tone, "Just think about this. Do you really think you would be happier in Slytherin? Shouldn't they be-"

"Yes!" Sirius retorted, eyes blazing. "Yes, I would be happier in Slytherin. My parents would have been proud of me then- at least," he scornfully said to an unflinching James, "At the very least I expect that Slytherins would respect my privacy."

"I see," James said, his voice full of disdain. "And you actually want to make your folks proud, then?" He gave a short laugh. Sirius stared at him. "What?" He asked slowly, not understanding.

"I dunno," James shrugged, continuing. "Doesn't seem like the type of life I'd want to live, does it? Obviously, I don't know everything," he nodded to the letter with the smallest trace of mockery.

It made Sirius want to clobber him.

"But I wouldn't want to have to constantly worry about what Mummy and Daddy dearest will think of me. I wouldn't want anyone to talk to me that way," he said, and in that particular moment, he sounded like he was challenging Sirius. "Especially not my parents. Personally, I think you're lucky. You got out, and not many do."

"I didn't get out," Sirius said quietly. He held the piece of parchment up angrily. "Do you think this'll just stop? What do you- Mister Self Righteous- suggest I do when I have to go home to my parents? It's easy to talk, isn't it? I bet your mum and dad just fawn all over you, don't they? They'd be happy with whatever you do… wonderful little James, following his dad's footsteps-" Sirius shook his head, becoming too furious to talk.

James flushed. "Don't bring my parents into this," He said icily. Sirius recognised the warning and scowled, anger fading into general disgust for the situation. "Then stay out of my business," he muttered sullenly, pitching the letter in the fire and stalking to his bed. He yanked at the covers, and saw Pettigrew watching him with his mouth just slightly open.

"What are you looking at?" Sirius snapped, finding some satisfaction in the way his face turned red with embarrassment.

"Don't talk to him like that," Remus said softly. His eyes were fixed on the floor, but his voice was steely. Sirius was not in the mood. Merlin, he thought, but he had to get out of there.

Instead of feeling suffocated like he usually did, he was defiant. Who would stop him? James? He almost laughed at the thought and walked out the room. Behind him, he heard James say in a confiding whisper, "I think he's gone quite mad, really. I would, too, if I were in his situation." Sirius fought the urge to slam the door, gritting his teeth.

He didn't care what James thought, he told himself. He was a Black. He was better than everyone else in that room. Then he felt queasy. Was he still a Black? And if he was, would he be treated as lesser because he was a Gryffindor?

He knew the answer to that, and felt even worse. He hated them all, he decided. He hated his family and his stupid dorm mates.


Severus watched from the dorm window as the other students in his house spilled out of the castle and absorbed the last of the dying autumn sun. His eyes drifted across the relaxed crowds for a moment before he got up with a sigh. He battled the excitement rushing through him. Yes, it would be his first meeting with Lily since they got to Hogwarts, yes, he would get to show her the library- but he had to get control of his emotions first. How could he possibly prove himself as a Slytherin if even the tiniest bit of glee (or fear) showed on his face?

It was the most basic rule in the book- control was synonymous with power. And Severus would do whatever it took to have power- to one day be looked at with admiration and fear the way everyone looked at Lucius Malfoy.

Ah, but first, he reminded himself, his meeting with Lily.

He made it through the corridors in record time, his feet propelling him in the direction of the library as if he was being tugged towards it. Even in his short time there, he had already memorised the path well.

To his slight surprise, Lily was outside the library doors, shifting from foot to foot and looking around in an awkward way. "Hi," she greeted, shifting those brilliant green eyes on him. He couldn't resist returning the smile she gave him, feeling something in him ease.

"I was waiting for you to show me the library," she said teasingly, moving her textbook from her left arm to her right one. Severus laughed softly, motioning for her to enter.

After taking her through the numerous sections and showing her a few of the many tomes he had found fascinating, they settled at a tables and began conversing in hushed tones.

"So how is it in Slytherin?" Lily asked, eagerness evident in her voice. Severus stiffened, then stretched out a hand to trace the gold embossed leather cover of Ten Ways To Save A Mediocre Potion. "How is it in Gryffindor?" He returned evenly in an effort to diffuse the tension. He kept his eyes trained on the book and began slowly flipping through it.

Lily's smile faltered. "Sev. We've been here a week, how are the house rivalries already getting to you?"

"They're not getting to me." Severus sat up a little and glared at her. "Why, do you think my housemates are trying to brainwash me or something? Do you believe what they tell you? I bet you think I'm going to murder babies next, or kidnap a kitten-"

She somehow managed to fight a smile and look contrite at the same time, lips twitching as she fidgeted with her robes. "I think you got those two mixed up," Lily offered softly, and he sighed, forcing his snappiness to melt away.

After a moment, she continued carefully. "I didn't say that. We promised to be friends no matter what, remember?"

"I remember," he said softly. "Nothing's changed since then." He took a deep breath. "At least, nothing's changed for me. I still want to be friends…" Severus trailed off, trying to guess what she was thinking.

"Sev, don't be an idiot. Of course I want to be friends." Lily grinned. "Now show me this countercharm you were talking about, I think I really like charms…"


Lily hastened to the owlery, her fingers in danger of going numb in the late September chill. She had approximately five minutes to send her letter to Mum and Dad, and she composed a mental list of everything she had to do after that: go back to the dorms; get dressed; have breakfast; and revise for the transfiguration test McGonagall was giving.

The transfiguration test she was going to fail, Lily thought with a silent groan. She scanned the room for the closest owl and stroked its feathers. "Marlene said you'd know where to go. Don't spook them too much when you get there, okay? They're muggles," she informed it, "so they're not used to owls." Then Lily paused, thinking about it. "Actually, I wouldn't mind if you messed with Petunia a bit. She's the one with the long blond hair, you can't miss her." The owl gave a long, low hoot, amber eyes blinking at her knowingly before taking off. Lily smiled, feeling only a little bit guilty before making her way back to the tower.

"Lils!" Lily turned automatically, smirking at how little time it had taken for Marlene to come up with a nickname for her. "Wait up," she huffed, her cheeks flushed.

Lily shook her head. "Come on, Professor McGonagall actually doesn't hate me yet, and I want to keep it that way for as long as I can." She grimaced. "Until she grades my paper, I mean."

Marlene scoffed. "Oh, please- you're such a teacher's pet. If you will fail, what hope do the rest of us have?" She asked sarcastically. Lily stuck her tongue out at her and picked up her pace.

Lily slid into her seat, trying to catch her breath. Hogwarts was crazy, she thought. She was still having trouble finding her way around, and the moving staircases and shifting corridors weren't helping.

Professor McGonagall waved her wand and the door closed behind her with a soft click. "I hope you all prepared for your very first assessment." Her eyes swept across the room, and Lily noticed, slightly impressed, that no one could hold her gaze for more than a second.

Several hours later, Lily walked into the Gryffindor common room, feeling exhausted. The subject material wasn't that challenging- so far- but Lily refused to rest until she had memorised every last bit of the first two chapters of transfiguration (which was the most ridiculously challenging subject, in her opinion). She was doing okay in all the other subjects, and that would have to do for now.

As the portrait opened, she stepped in and collided with someone else who seemed to be moving at the speed of a small rocket. Her heavy magical textbooks, which she had wrapped with the utmost care, went flying everywhere. Lily mumbled an apology automatically while trying to regain her balance. Slightly cross, but trying not to show it, she swiped her textbooks off the floor while the offender started badgering her...about his friend.

"Have you seen Peter?" He asked, looking rather irritated. "Short bloke, stout, was supposed to be here two minutes ago…" Lily's strained smile collapsed into a scowl as she took her first look at him.

"You," she said coldly. He seemed to do a double take and frowned at her. "James Potter," she continued slowly, recalling the Sorting. "Congratulations," she added flatly after a moment of awkward silence. "You got your wish, you're in Gryffindor."

Recognition flashed across his face and his eyes flicked down to her Gryffindor tie. "You didn't, though. Bet you disappointed your friend Snivellus pretty badly, didn't you?"

Outrage and astonishment flashed through her. "His name is Severus," she clipped out in disbelief. "And for the record, my name- is Lily Evans. You know, most people make it a habit to at least try and learn the names of the people in their house and year," she said as scornfully as possible.

"Apologies," Potter said, glaring at her coldly. "If you'll excuse me, I have places to be." He stalked off, and Lily gritted her teeth and stomped up the girls' staircase angrily.


The weeks flew by, and one snowy afternoon Sirius slipped through the corridors quickly and silently. He laughed to himself quietly as he heard the faint sound of footsteps behind him and rounded a corner. It was the first time he had skipped class, and now, as excitement zipped through his veins, he was wondering why he hadn't started earlier.

Argus Filch, the Hogwarts caretaker, was already hot on his heels. He had to work on his evading skills, Sirius thought as he heard Filch call out accusingly, "You!" Sirius picked up his pace, half hoping the caretaker would give it up. "Boy...stop!"

No such luck.

Sighing, he slowed reluctantly and turned.

"Sir?" Sirius widened his eyes innocently, deciding on looking surprised. "What're you doing out during class hours, boy?" Filch squinted suspiciously at him as his hideous cat ambled up to them and meowed loudly. Sirius eyed it warily. He hated cats.

He also hated being called 'boy'. Clearly, it was a word used by adults with inferiority complexes to make them feel better about themselves and their sorry lives.

Taking a deep breath, he ran through different excuses. Let the gushing begin, he thought evilly.

"I got lost, sir! I don't know where to go, and there's no one around…" Sirius willed tears into his eyes. On a good day, he could pull a sob story out of thin air. It worked wonders on unsuspecting strangers.

Unfortunately for him, Filch didn't seem to care. He grumbled something unflattering about first years. "Well? What class do you have?" He grunted unhappily. Shit, Sirius thought, trying to keep up his aura of helplessness and naivety.

What class should he name? Would Filch actually try and take him there? On a scale of 1 to 10, how screwed was he, he wondered?

"Potions," he slowly replied, going for relieved. Slughorn probably wouldn't care one way or another.

"Potions is in the dungeons, you dunce," Filch snarled. "Go on! And if I see you again out and about I'll personally hang you by your toenails, mind…" Sirius scowled. Enough was enough, he decided. Clearly this man was not worth the effort of charming. "It would be an honour, sir," Sirius said scathingly, folding his arms. "Maybe today is a particularly slow day for you: I clearly don't know where the dungeons are."

Filch turned a deep shade of red. Perhaps he had not picked the best day to antagonise the caretaker, Sirius mused. Red turned into purple as Filch opened and closed his mouth and Sirius wondered (slightly impatiently) if he would actually be strung up by his toenails if he walked off.

He had just decided he didn't care when a loud crash echoed through the hall. Sirius flinched and Filch jumped. "Mrs. Norris!" Filch hollered, looking even more murderous than before. He's gone mad, Sirius thought nervously. He had to get out of there.

A screech assaulted his ears, and then a blonde haired girl skidded into the corridor, out of breath. She told Filch rather panickedly, "Peeves is trying to get the suits of armour to duel- you have to come quick!"

Well, well, well, Sirius thought, this day just keeps getting more and more interesting.

"You, stay here," he barked at Sirius. "And you," he hobbled the way the girl had come at an alarming speed. "Find the Bloody Baron." He muttered curses under his breath.

"Saved by the poltergeist," he said. He looked after Filch's retreating back curiously and then added, "I want to see the suits of armour duelling. They're always so stoic, don't you think?" He looked back at the girl. She was already walking off in the opposite direction. He hesitated and then followed her. It wasn't like he had anything better to do, he reasoned.

"I'm Marlene McKinnon," she said briskly, blowing a curly lock out of her way as she walked. "And it wasn't Peeves, by the way, you were saved by me," she informed him.

"Why?" He asked suspiciously, keeping pace with her.

"I don't know," she frowned. "I was bored, and I'd been waiting to test that spell since Lily showed me that Charms book." Sirius processed this as she continued. "Plus, no one deserves to be subjected to Filch, I learnt that the hard way. Who are you, anyway?"

"Sirius Black," a new voice sneered. Sirius snapped his mouth shut, blinking, as a boy with greasy black hair moved forward into their path. The boy from the Hogwarts Express, he realised. His mind began whirring rapidly.

This Slytherin...the redhead girl… "You, uh-" he frowned. What was his name again?

"Snivellus," Sirius recalled without thinking. Marlene McKinnon's eyebrows disappeared into her hairline. A beat later, he remembered the boy's real name. Snape's glare became ten times colder.

Oops.

"So you are as stupid as your house suggests," Snape said. "Hey!" Marlene exclaimed, probably opening her mouth to defend Gryffindor and insult them both simultaneously. Whatever it was, he could most likely do without hearing it, and Sirius interrupted smoothly.

"Cutting class doesn't seem like you, Snape. What are you up to?" Just as he'd imagined, Snape seemed to swell with irritation.

"Class is over, you thick headed cretin," he snapped. Sirius frowned.

"You know, you and Filch seem to have a lot in common. Both of you with your fancy insults to make you feel better about yourselves-" Sirius smirked, continuing nonchalantly, "-and your strange likeness to bullfrogs," he tilted his head at Snape, who had started twitching with rage.

"Except, of course, you're coated in slime, Snivellus. Hmm, you're perfect for each other. Fancy a meet and greet with our beloved caretaker?"

"Black," Marlene snapped. "If you don't get moving to your next class, you'll be the one who has to meet and greet Filch. Again." Sirius did not respond, but swung his bag over his shoulder as he added to Snape, "He seems to be in love with his cat, though. Pity."

More students poured into the corridor, and he walked a safe distance away from a murderous Snape before looking for Marlene. When he realised she was already gone, he shrugged to himself and continued.

Very interesting day, he thought. Very interesting, indeed.


James watched, mesmerised, as the players swooped and dived in the air. The second chaser, who was a lanky third year, was just inexperienced enough to keep dropping the quaffle. It made James frustrated enough that he was ready to march up to the pitch himself and give him a nice little talk.

Of course, James couldn't do that, because tryouts were over and the Quidditch captain had already scared off all the other Gryffindor first years. James was in hiding, and he couldn't blow his cover.

Tearing his gaze from the pitch, James decided to observe his fellow onlookers instead. Perhaps, he thought sarcastically, they would be a less discouraging sight than their incompetent chaser.

It took a heartbeat to spot Sirius, and another second before he was pushing himself to his feet and making his way to him. They hadn't spoken since that night, and while James knew Sirius was over it, he still hoped to close the matter. Verbally.

"Hi," James said slowly, sitting down next to Sirius.

"You sound like a girl," Sirius said dispassionately. He didn't take his eyes off of practice. Excuse me? James thought, raising an eyebrow. His annoyance was half-hearted.

"Are you always so difficult?" James frowned at the pitch. Sirius gave a startled laugh. "Yeah, I guess I am," he said evenly after a while. A silence fell as they both watched the players. Strangely, James didn't mind it. It was the first time in a long time, he thought, that quiet didn't feel empty to him.

It didn't last long, unfortunately. Sirius heard the approaching footsteps first, and James followed his gaze, eyeing the lean Slytherin in front of him.

"Black." Avery greeted expressionlessly. James remained neutral. For all he knew, Sirius was best friends with this snake. He would not participate in this conversation, he told himself. He wouldn't.

Avery scanned James in a way that had him clenching his fist around his wand. "Cozying up to the blood traitors already, are we?" He leaned forward, a subtle threat. "You wouldn't want to...make any more wrong decisions." Sirius gritted his teeth and stubbornly ignored the two people next to him.

Not a friend, then.

James tried not to frown. He really shouldn't get involved- but why wasn't Sirius saying anything?

"We all have to live up to something. You're already a disappointment, Black," Avery added, and James stood up- damn it all, if Sirius wouldn't say something, he would- "That's enough," James clipped out. "Go back to whatever sewer you crawled out of, Avery."

"No." Sirius said suddenly, standing as stared Avery down. "Tell me. What are they all saying about me in Slytherin, hmm? What has my mother said to you?" He seemed coldly furious. Avery's pale eyes glittered with delight, and he tsked at them- he actually tsked, James thought in disbelief. He was torn between laughing and punching him in the face.

"We don't air our dirty laundry in public, Black," he said chidingly, "And really, we want nothing except to help you..."He raised his palms in a show of supplication and put on a mockingly innocent expression. "We are all...worried...about the path you have taken."

Really, if James felt like socking him, Sirius was actually about to do it. James stepped closer and glared at him. "Get out of here or I'll call the Captain," he said in a low, hard voice. Avery gave him a slow once over, sneered, and turned on his heel, stalking away.

James sat down again, and after a tense moment Sirius followed suit.

"I'm not good at being friends," Sirius stated simply. James wondered if Sirius was more shaken than he let on, to say such a thing.

Then he wondered if that was the olive branch he saw it as. He would be a fool not to take it, wouldn't he?

"Well," James said slowly, smiling. "It's a good thing I am, then."


Well, there it is. We're updating pretty quickly because we want to get you guys up to speed XD. Reviews are golden, people!