AN: Remember that these are not in chronological order! Thanks for reading!
(10) Who the hell do you think you are? (aka the one with Crazy Ted.)
She storms into his tent in a fury, kicking his discarded boots out of her way.
"Who the hell do you think you are?" she demands.
He knows why she's here, he'd been expecting her for hours, but the sight of her there, red-faced with clenched fists, glaring at him like she could make him burst into flames using only her eyes was enough to make him crack a smirk.
Her eyes narrow and she steps forward "I just met with Ted, who apologized to me for not acknowledging my marital status."
"Well, that was considerate of him."
"Stop fucking smirking."
"Calm down Clarke."
"Calm down? You want me to calm down!"
"Uh, Yeah."
She makes this hilarious face, like it's painful to keep her eyes open, and then she turns around like she's going to leave, turns back around and opens her mouth, turns back around and stomps her foot, finally she marches over so that she's standing in front of where he sits on his bed. "This is unforgivable."
"Is it dramatic in here or is it just me?"
"You told him we were married!"
"No, no I didn't tell him anything. Everyone else told him we were married, I just didn't deny it."
Her eyes are so wide he wonders if it's painful. "Why would everyone…What…How did this even happen?!"
"He showed up with Lincoln and O. Then he went off to examine a set of tracks by the stream because apparently he's been looking for some ancient animal called bigfoot. Lincoln pulled me aside and said Ted had been talking about proposing marriage to you to solidify the alliance between our clans. Octavia must have told everyone else because by the time he saw me he was congratulating me on my "bitchin" choice of wife."
"Why would they say that we were..."
"Because they know that Ted and his people are fucking weirdos and you don't belong with them."
"I would have said no!"
"I was warned that he can be persistent."
"So lying to him was the way to go? Goddamnit Bellamy we need peace with these people."
"First of all, they're a nomadic clan of polygamists that wear jewelry made of human teeth we don't need to have anything to do with them. Second, how could this possibly disrupt the peace?"
"Because it's a lie!"
"It's not that much of a lie."
"WHAT?!"
"Don't get all twitchy on me Princess, I just meant that from a political standpoint, we kind of are married."
"Marriage is not something that should be considered from a political standpoint."
"Well I mean, hundreds of years ago most marriages were….."
"I'm not a princess Bellamy, you're not my father, or my husband, or my king. You had no right to lie to that man."
"Did it ever occur to you that turning down Ted's proposal would disrupt the peace more than this little white lie?"
"IT'S NOT A LITTLE WHITE LIE."
"We see them once or twice a year, when they come around we just act the way we usually do and no one will suspect a thing."
"And what about here in Camp, how are they gonna react to this?"
"They know it's a lie, and anyway they joke about us being married all the time."
"They do not!"
"They call us Mom and Dad."
"And other clans, what if word gets to other clans!?"
"What other clans will listen to anything Crazy Ted has to say?"
"What if there's some guy that I'm meant to be with…my soul mate… in a clan that we haven't met yet that hears from Crazy…from Ted that Clarke is married to Bellamy?!"
"You think your soul mate is a grounder?! Didn't you already try that once?"
"You seriously don't think you did anything wrong do you?"
"You didn't want to marry Ted, and as for this hypothetical grounder soul mate of yours I think that would be a mistake. You know how I feel. We need to create a culture of our own, not of the Ark not of the Grounders but of us. We need to marry within…"
"Who am I going to marry out there Bellamy?"
He sighs and he wants to say it, but he feels like at this point she might actually try to claw his eyes out.
"I just…I can't believe you did this. I can't believe you didn't say anything to me, you just pretended to be my husband."
"I actually didn't have to pretend all that much."
"Stop saying things like that!"
"It's true!"
"No it's not!"
"Clarke we are domestic as fuck and don't try to tell me differently. I know how you feel about me, you know how I feel about you. This is the way it is."
"How I feel about….what are you talking about? You and I have never…ever discussed…feelings….or domesticity."
He raises his eyebrows at her because he knows she's playing dumb, there are so many things unspoken between them that most of them have just sort of become a given.
"This is not okay Bellamy. I trusted you."
"Oh come on Clarke. I lied to Crazy Ted, you've seen all the weird ass plants he smokes. He probably won't even remember coming here today. You're making this into a bigger deal then it needs to be."
"Because I don't like surprises. I don't like hearing that the one person I trust most on this earth is telling lies about me!"
One look at the betrayal in her eyes and the whole thing doesn't seem as funny anymore.
"I didn't mean to betray your trust okay?" he sighs and runs his hands over his face. "Honestly the guy is fucking creepy and I was just trying to save you from an awkward situation - and I know you can handle things fine on your own but I just…that's who I am and you know that."
"You don't think that everyone deciding we were married behind my back is putting me in an awkward situation?"
"Okay, Clarke, you've made your point. I was wrong. Next time I'll be sure to send the grounder straight to you so you can live happily ever after." He hears the anger in his voice and it surprises him almost as much as it surprises Clarke.
"So somehow I've become the bad guy in all of this? You're mad at me?"
"I'm not mad at you, I'm just… If you marry someone where does that leave me?"
"What are you talking about?"
"If you end up with some grounder and start your own family…you can't be in two places at once. You can't be here with me running this camp and there with someone else being a wife and a mom."
"Bellamy…"
"Not to mention that no man would ever be okay with his wife having a relationship with a man the way you and I do. We're too close."
"My getting married wouldn't change anything."
"Of course it would, don't be naive."
"What about you? What about one day when you fall in love? What happens then?"
"Oh princess, I have no intentions of marrying anyone." He's wearing that smile that usually indicates that he's joking but…Clarke's never been one to fall for that. She raises her eyebrows and smiles back.
"This doesn't mean I forgive you but…I will admit that I may…have overreacted a little bit."
"I should have told you. It won't happen again."
"Just in case it's unclear, I would never marry Ted."
"Good."
"And I don't know about the whole soul mate grounder theory. You're probably right. I doubt marriage is in the cards for me but if it is I'll end up with one of our own."
"Who are you gonna marry out there Princess?" he echoes her earlier words with a smirk.
She smiles and shakes her head. "I'll see you tonight for guard assessment."
He stares after her and somehow…this feels like a win.
