Past and Future are Compatible
Severus didn't see Harry much the next day. He had been having a pleasant dream of a picnic with Harry when the dreamlike kiss turned in a real kiss. He opened his eyes to see a dressed Harry smiling at him. He mumbled as Harry said something about breakfast. Severus sighed, reached up and snaked an arm around his lover's neck. Twisting he rolled them so that Harry was under him on the bed. He smirked down at his startled companion and leaned over a kissed him properly. He felt a glow when he managed to pull a moan from the brunette. Harry wasn't the most vocal individual, so Severus relished any little sounds he could wrench from the younger man.
"Good Morning." Harry smiled at him, green eyes soft. Severus just stared into the emeralds as he felt Harry's hand gently stroke his cheek.
"'Morning Love." Severus felt all his muscles just relax into nothing at the name. He let himself lay on Harry's chest, breathing deeply. He felt Harry chuckle.
"Sev, if you don't get up, we will both be late for breakfast. Minerva, for one, will never let us live it down." Severus grumbled but conceded the point. And so that last touch they shared before going out the door was the last one they had all day. Severus sighed as he sat in his chair. Harry had sent a note saying he needed to talk with Minerva and would be home late tonight.
000
Harry sat in the office with some trepidation. Minerva just smiled at him.
"So, your wandless magic?" Harry gulped. "Harry, I'm not angry, just curious. I remember you using wandless magic in your quarters the other day." Harry eyed her. It felt good that they were also his quarters.
"My magic is more powerful when I don't use my wand. The wand constrains it." Minerva looked thoughtful a moment.
"That's unusual. Any idea why?" Harry shrugged slightly.
"Not really. I know I absorbed some of Voldie's magic as an infant and more when I kil- defeated him several years ago. I think I have so much magic to begin with that the addition of his magic simply made my magic grow." Minerva smiled as she nodded.
"Yes, I can see that. So why do you not want people to know?" Harry frowned as he looked down.
"I guess part of it is because I'm sick of being the all-powerful Harry Potter." Minerva gave him a sympathetic look for that, "And the other part is I really don't want people to be scared of me." Minerva frowned.
"Well, I hope no one's scared of you. Good grief! You won't find that among the professors here." Harry looked at her. "Harry, most of us have been here a long time and have seen many students with all sorts of magical talents. You can always tell the younger professors because they are more easily startled when their students produce new magic. You didn't see Filius blink an eye when his classroom started attack him?" Harry shook his head. Minerva smiled. "That's because in my fifth year I accidentally transfigured a feather we were supposed to be spinning into a bumblebee, who proceeded to chase Filius around the room for an hour. He just chuckled when I tried to apologize." Harry stared at her in amazement.
"I know you were put on a pedestal when you were very young, but, Harry this is a school. It is true that you had more surprises for your teachers then any other student, but the only professor who ever showed any real surprise in your abilities were your DADA professors and Severus, who had only been teaching a few years at the time. The rest of us took it in stride that you spoke parseltongue and could produce a patronus. Wandless magic is equally rare, but not terrible." Harry blushed slightly. He nodded.
"Thanks Professor." She smiled. Harry knew that no matter how long he worked with her, she would probably always be his Head of House.
000
Severus shivered. He hated being cold. He tried to wrap his arms around himself, but they wouldn't move. He looked over. They were held in place by Crabbe and Goyle senior. They each had an arm and were bending them in a way that forced him to his knees. He gritted his teeth, calling for his magic. He felt panic wash through him when he couldn't perform any magic. He looked up at he heard that voice. It was a voice that haunted him.
"Hello my dear Severus." He shuddered as he felt cold fingers trace his cheek. Jerking away, he growled at the Dark Lord. Voldemort just chuckled darkly.
"I see we need to teach you some respect." Severus glared at him, daring him to do his worst. A sickening voice crept from the bastard's mouth.
"Oh no, not to you, my darling Severus. I have someone else in mind." Severus followed his glance to the far wall. There, chained to the wall was Harry. Severus felt his heart leap to his throat. "Yes, he'll do nicely." Severus pulled at his wrists futilely. Harry looked up, green eye dull. Severus could see the welts on his skin. Another man approached him. Severus felt panic enter him as he saw his own face on the man. Harry looked up at his impostor.
"Severus..." Severus wanted to shout, but a cold hand clamped over his throat, making the only sound he was capable of a whisper. Harry tried to move towards the man, but he sneered at the boy.
"Potter! Look at you! A filthy freak!" He slapped Harry, hard enough to toss him back against the wall. Severus fought his captors even harder as Harry looked up at Severus, eyes glassy and tears running down his face.
"I"m sorry. I'm sorry Severus. Please. Please don't go." Severus felt his heart wrench at the words. The fake Snape sneered at him.
"Why would I want a freak like you?" Harry bent his head, shaking. Severus felt a sob well in his throat as he was forced to watch his lover's torture. He felt tears gather in his eyes as he did everything to try and get to Harry. The sickening sound of the Dark Lords laugh chilled him.
"Shall I end it?" Severus looked at him in confused horror. He looked back at Harry as Snape lift Harry's head by his hair.
"You aren't worth it. You aren't worth your life." Snape back handed Harry. The brunette looked up at him, tears flowing freely now.
"Severus, please. I can do better! I can be good!" Snape sneered at him.
"No you can't. You're always worthless. Always." Snape pulled out a knife and stabbed it into Harry's thigh, but the boy didn't even wince. Severus cried out around the hand on his throat as Harry picked up the knife.
"Worthless..." Severus felt tears pour down his face as he watched Harry plunge the knife into his legs and arms over and over. "I deserve this." Severus could hear his mutters as he covered himself in bleeding cuts. Severus felt his throat tear a bit as he tried to wrench away from the three holding him.
"Harry, please stop!" His breathy whisper couldn't reach the brunette as the slimy voice spoke to him again.
"Too late Severus. My dear Severus, far too late." Severus screamed out as he watched Harry plunge the knife into his chest and fall sideways, emerald eyes wide and empty in death.
"Severus!"
He tore himself free of the hands, screaming, tears pouring down his face as he tried to rush to Harry.
"Severus!"
The hands kept grabbing him, but he fought, hard. "SEVERUS!"
Suddenly he was staring into Harry's concerned eyes. The brunette was leaning over him on their bed, shaking him to wake him up.
"Severus!" Severus reached out, touching his face, terrified that it would disappear or worse, cover itself in blood again. Then his eyes would empty again. When that didn't happen, he sprang at his lover, nearly knocking them off that bed. He felt Harry catch him in his arms. He gripped Harry tightly a moment before his hands frantically felt down his arms and legs, double checking for any injury. Finding none, he ripped open the shirt Harry was still wearing from the day. Whole, healed skin met his terrified gaze as his he touched the place he had seen the knife. He felt himself tremble as tears continued pouring down his face. He leaned forward, resting his head against Harry's chest, sobs tearing from his throat. He felt Harry's arms encircle him and lips place a gentle kiss in his hair.
"I'm here Sev. We're both safe." Severus let Harry rock him as he clung to the other man. Harry held Severus, letting him release the tension from the nightmare. Severus felt him magically remove his clothes and put on pajama bottoms. "We're safe." Severus nodded slightly as he pulled himself together enough to look up at Harry. The emerald eyes glittered with concern. Severus pulled him close and breathed in his scent.
Harry just continued to stroke Severus' back in long gentle motions. He knew that eventually the dark man would speak. He had been surprised to find Severus asleep when he got back. It was only 10, but that day had been long. He had assumed Severus had taken a dreamless potion if he was asleep that early.
"Are you okay?" Harry dragged himself out of his thoughts at Severus' question. He looked at the top of Severus' head.
"Yes, I'm perfectly happy to be holding my lover." It was said with quiet reassurance. "What happened, Sev?" Severus shuddered.
"I didn't expect to fall asleep reading. I didn't occlude." Harry nodded. The only time Severus slept without nightmares without Harry, or a potion, was when he occluded before bed. If Harry was there, it wasn't necessary. "It was Him. He knew how much I cared about you. He was using you to get to me. I put you in danger." Harry nodded. This was an old fear Severus had voiced some time ago. "He used my face and told you.." Severus choked up, image returning to him. Harry brushed his fingers through Severus' hair in reassurance. He knew Severus had to get it out, and would given enough time.
"You thought he was me. You believed me!" He was shaking now, even though his voice was back to a whisper. "Worthless, filthy freak." It took Harry a moment to decipher that through Severus' sobs. He winced. Unfortunately, Severus was correct in thinking that if he ever called Harry any of those things, let alone all of them, it would probably destroy Harry. Harry nearly jumped out of his skin at Severus' next proclamation.
"I didn't mean it! I don't think that!" Harry looked at Severus. His eyes were wide in fear. He was inside the dream again.
"Sev! Stop!" Harry gave him a small shake. "I know you don't. You didn't say that. It was a dream!" He stared into Severus' eyes hard, waiting for the man to acknowledge that his eyes were alive, and perfectly fine. His magic was already molding around Severus, caressing him into a sense of safety. "It was a dream." Severus leaned against Harry's shoulder, breathing shakily. Harry held Severus close. He knew that he was Severus' weakness. Severus had put his everything into this relationship. He knew if something happened to him, to what they had, Severus would withdraw from the world, this time probably for good. It had been that way nearly from the beginning.
-Flashback-
Harry chattered happily as he collected his papers from the night before. He was spending most of his time in Severus' quarters now a days. Eventually someone would notice and Minerva would hear of it. They won't be able to keep her quiet after that. Harry chuckled at the thought of the ribbing he was likely to get when their boss realized that two of her professors were practically living together, instead of simply having tea each night. Well, not just tea, Harry amended mentally. She was aware they were in a relationship. It was more, how deep that she was still unaware of, Harry rather thought.
"Severus, Master Hortley is arriving today. If we're late for lunch Minerva's going to nail our hides to the wall." Severus grumbled as he joined Harry and they strode out of the dungeons. Harry knew he was none too pleased to be forced to socialize at lunch on a saturday. Usually Harry would be grumbling along with him, but Master Hortley was a Defense Master only a few years older then Harry and one of the best at protective charms on objects. Harry's curiosity had piqued the moment Minerva mentioned it. He had seen her grin in his direction, and could figure out that she only mentioned it because she knew it would spark his interest. She knew of his frustration of the lack of Defense Masters to speak with that took his seriously.
They made it on time and the defense master and Harry took to each other immediately. Adrian, as he asked to be called, and Harry spent the better part of the day talking about protective charms and attaching defense spells to objects. It was much later that evening that Minerva ran into Severus roaming the halls looking for Harry.
"Severus, I wasn't aware you had rounds tonight." Severus glanced back at the Head Mistress, unsure if she as kidding or if she really didn't know why he was stalking the halls.
"I was simply going to pay Professor Potter a visit in his rooms." Minerva stared at him.
"Profes- You were looking for Harry?" He nodded once. She smiled slightly.
"I doubt you'll find him in his quarters. Master Adrian and Harry were in the library last I knew. They were happily working on some surprise project." Severus' face froze in annoyance before giving her a bland nod. "However, I find myself wandering in the direction of the dungeons and would fancy a spot of tea myself." Severus gave her a cool look.
"Minerva, I am not in need of one of your counseling sessions you inherited from Albus." She looked at him, mildly taken back.
"Severus really, can't I have a cuppa with my Professor. Especially since you requested we discuss the changes in the NEWTS program today?" Severus started to sneer at her, but stopped and seemed to think better of it. He nodded reluctantly, wanting to get that chore out of the way.
"As long as you do not mind interruptions. My current batch of Wolfsbane is getting ready for its third stage." Minerva smiled slightly.
"Of course not." They were halfway to the dungeons when they heard familiar but indistinct voices.
Harry had been working so long his eyes were crossing when he realized how late it was. He should have left an hour ago. He hoped Severus wasn't too annoyed, though with Severus annoyed was a relative thing. He and Adrian stood and closed their books and made to leave the library.
"We pretty much have solved the problem, now its a matter of proportion." Harry nodded. They had made enough progress that his present should be doable now. "Harry, I must admit this has been great fun. There aren't many who would be able to talk this theory, let alone want to. Thank you." Harry looked at the man and nodded.
"No thank you. It isn't often I find someone willing to take me seriously outside the 'Boy Who Lived' crap." Adrian winced in sympathy.
"Yeah I bet. Harry, I was wondering. Would you have a drink with me?" Harry looked at Adrian. Its not that he wasn't nice looking. The black satin hair and liquid blue eyes were amazing, but he wasn't Severus.
"I would love to have a drink with a friend, but nothing more Adrian." Adrian's face fell.
"Wrong type?" Harry shook his head.
"Wrong person, I have someone." Adrian let his eyes narrow.
"The Potions Master." It wasn't really a question. "I saw you two walk in together." Harry smiled in a sort of silly fashion.
"Hmmm." Adrian frowned.
"Harry, he is much older then you, and he doesn't seem very...affectionate." Harry frowned.
"Our relationship is none of your business, Adrian. Please keep your thoughts on the matter to yourself." Adrian frowned.
"I could make you happier then that grouchy sourpuss." He had drawn closer to Harry. Harry frowned.
"I would thank you to not even try. It would be impossible." Adrian frowned, stepping in front of Harry.
"Are you sure?" Unknown to Harry, Adrian spotted Severus and Minerva round the corner behind Harry at this point. Harry didn't notice in his irritation. He did notice Adrian grabbing his shoulders and slamming his mouth over Harry's. Adrian glared at Severus behind Harry, but Severus took one look at the tableau and fled. Adrian barely had time to smirk before his face lit up in painful stars. He looked at Harry in amazement.
"Don't you ever do that again!" Harry was panting in anger, blood dripping down his knuckles. Adrian blinked.
"Wow, you punched through my protego. Incredible." Harry snapped.
"Touch me again and I'll do more then punch your face in." Adrian frowned as he looked at Harry.
"Careful, you might have a few broken bones in that hand." Harry looked on the verge of exploding when Minerva's voice distracted him.
"Master Hortley, I would appreciate you restraining your more sadistic tendencies while in my school." Harry glanced at his very irate Head Mistress. Adrian turned to her.
"Sadistic? It was a kiss." Minerva's lips thinned in a way the told Harry she was keeping herself from transfiguring Adrian's ass into a pincushion for the rest of his natural life.
"Yes, in full view of the person Harry is involved with, which I know you were aware of." Harry looked at Minerva, earlier anger at Adrian gone in his surprise.
"Severus was here?" Minerva glared at Adrian.
"Unfortunately, he missed the dramatic after show, having seen enough of the main event." Harry winced. He had never heard Minerva quite that scathing before. Her protective streak was something of legends and very few ever dared trod on it. He didn't even glance at Adrian.
"Excuse me." Minerva nodded, but he had already hurried off. She knew where he was heading.
He took a deep breath before banging on the dungeon door. He didn't expect an answer, he wasn't disappointed. Feeling out, he dismantled the wards that would keep him out and entered. Well, almost. Apparently Severus was irritated with him. He gritted his teeth as a stinging sensation went through him. It wouldn't keep him out, but it definitely wasn't welcome. He shook it off as he went in search of the Potions Master. He could guess what Severus was up to. Severus was in the middle of brewing Wolfsbane and since he was distressed, that would be where he was. Harry growled as he entered the lab and spotted the man. He was throwing things at the potion, Harry hoped he retained enough control to not accidentally blow them both to kingdom come. He placed what was left of the potion in a stasis field and braced himself as Severus swung around to glare at him.
"I do not have time to play with you tonight! Go away." He turned back to his potion and Harry could see he was considering dismantling Harry's charm was worth it or to simply start over. Harry placed his uninjured hand on Severus' should and spun him.
"Severu-" Severus didn't let him.
"Go play your game with some other toy tonight, I'm busy!" Harry flinched at the shout, but his determination and desire to keep this relationship from falling apart based on a misunderstanding was stronger.
"I do not consider this a game and I have no other I'd rather be with." Severus snorted.
"Do not insult my intelligence. I am aware of the 'affection' you and Master Hortley exchanged earlier. I'm glad that now he can keep you busy enough to free up my nights so I can get some real work done." Harry tried not to wince at that sneer. That had hurt. But he recognized the defensive attitude in there.
"I care little for Master Hortley in that sense, you know that you infuriating snake!" Severus spun towards him as Harry hissed at him. His temper blasted out at that, grabbing Harry by the wrists and slamming him against the door of the room.
"Infuriating! You exchange oral fluids with Master Hortley and expect me to believe that? Master Hortley is a young, intelligent, black haired male who-" Harry blasted back at him.
"You like him so much, you go kiss him. I don't want him!" Severus sprung back, nearly hysterical.
"Why the hell not? He's perfect! What more could you want?" Harry growled at the Potions Master, storming forward only for Severus to grab his hands with his own as he reached out to touch his face.
"You! I want you, you irritating, gorgeous, grouchy, sexy, intelligent Slytherin! What to hell do I have to do to prove it!" Severus took a step back in shock, unconsciously tightening his grip on Harry's hands. Harry held in a wince. His hand was still broken, and despite his history with pain giving him a high tolerance, his frustration with this man was pushing him over that edge faster.
"Wh-what?" Harry was distracted from his hand by the stunned question that sprouted from Severus' mouth. Severus pulled him forward, one hand leaving Harry's to grasp his hair. Not the hand gripping his injured one in an ever tightening grip, Harry noticed wryly. "You what?" Harry winced in pain both at the hand being squeezed as Severus asked him the question and at the pull of his hair as Severus tightened his grip there to a painful level and shook him slightly. Harry licked his lip nervously.
"I want you." Harry stared straight into those black eyes that were so in turmoil. His voice was steady and low as if he were testing the words in the open for the first time. "Not just for the good parts of you, but for the bad. Adrian is young and dark and good looking, but he isn't honorable, cunning or adorable the way a certain potions Master I know is. I want you, Severus Snape." Severus pulled Harry forward in a punishing kiss, pouring all of his frustration and fear into that kiss and others that followed. Harry's breathing sped up as Severus peppered his neck with these harsh bites. Severus squeezed Harry's hand in urgency, causing Harry to whimper.
"White. Sev, please stop! White!" Severus froze, releasing Harry's hair immediately. They hadn't actually been working with a safeword, though they were heading that way, but white was their default safe word. Harry sank down, curling around his injured hand, panting to keep in his whimpers at the abused appendage. Severus knelt in front of him, noticing for the first time the blood on Harry's hand. He felt a lump climb his throat for not noticing. He knew Harry's pain threshold was high.
"Harry?" Harry just took some deep breathes to control the pain. "Harry what happened?" Severus gently pulled Harry's hand out from his protective hold and waved his wand over it. He frowned at the reaction. "Multiple fractures, severe bruising, looks like you punched a brick wall. Harry! What happened?" Harry winced, recoiling at the anger in Severus' tone. This was a different kind of anger, a demanding kind. This reminded him of the Dursleys more then he wanted to be. "Harry. Calm down. I just wish to know what happened." Severus cradled the hand and began healing it.
"I didn't want to be kissed by Adrian, that's what happened." Harry, thoroughly fed up with the pain and running high on his anxiety over almost losing Severus, snapped at the professor healing his hand.
"So he broke your hand?" Harry rolled his eyes as he muttered, calming down as the pain lessened.
"No. I sort of punched him through a protego." Severus started, glancing at Harry in amazement.
"You punched Hortley?" He had thought they had gotten along well. If one of his colleagues kissed him, besides Harry, he would have simply shoved them away, not full out punched him.
"I had already told him I wasn't interested and had someone else and he kissed me anyways." Severus froze in his spell work.
"And if you didn't have someone else?" Harry looked up at Severus.
"I probably still would have punched him. I don't get that familiar with people that fast." Severus nodded, going back to his healing.
"But you would have been interested." Harry frowned , trying to decipher what his lover was saying. He clenched his hand experimentally, finding it mildly stiff, but not particularly painful. Having confirmed that Severus was finished his current task, he grasped Severus' robe by the front and spun them so that the older man was under him, looking up in surprise. Harry leaned over Severus and growled.
"He definitely has the silky black hair and smooth intelligent voice I find irresistible." Severus swallowed a knot of jealousy that was lodged in his throat. His gaze was captured completely by his handsome lover. "But he was sorely lacking in some areas." Harry gave Severus a punishing kiss that stole the older man's breath away. Severus moaned into the kiss as he pulled at the hands that were trapped under Harry. He finally clenched his stomach muscles and sat up, forcing Harry to sit back on his thighs, releasing his hands. He slid his hand into the messy hair, grasping control of the kiss. Both were panting when they broke the kiss.
"Oh? And what wasn't Mssr Hortley?" Harry smirked as he fidgeted on Severus' lap, enjoying the sweet torture it was for both of them.
"You."
-End Flashback-
Severus had found out his weakness for Severus' voice that night. The low tone of that silky voice could make his blood sing. Through it all, Harry was aware of the desperation in his lover. Yes, he was Severus' weakness, but he hoped he was also Severus' strength.
000
Severus felt another shudder race through his body as he calmed his heart from that nightmare. He should have expected it. They both had had a very stressful few days leading up to exams, which were always full of there own stress. Harry and Severus had been competing with each other over the Owls and NEWTS of their students in the last few years as a way to renew Severus interest in teaching the dunderheads that so frequently fill his classroom. It had created a sort of vested interest for them in the scores of all their students.
Severus had started relaxing a bit in his snark and started looking for possible potions students outside his own house and Ravenclaw. Harry had found his drive to teach at the same time. It meant that the exam times were stressful for them a bit though. Then the wards' master and the Golden Trio situation over the last two days brought it even more to bare. Severus had known he was exhausted. He didn't have nightmares much when Harry was with him but without Harry and barring any medical intervention, such as a potion, he had to occlude to avoid screaming himself awake. Still it had been a while since Harry had been the focus of his nightmares, and never had they been quite like this.
Usually his nightmares involving the other male were of Voldemort winning that final war and killing Harry, which had been a real possibility. Sometimes they had been of Harry hating him because he found out more about Severus' past then Severus' had ever shared, and it had horrified him. Those dreams had started up more recently with the relationship. He hadn't ever shared those dreams with anyone except Minerva, who told him that while it could be a valid fear, she would stake her magic on the idea that Harry would never react that way to his past.
The other fear he had, that he hadn't really dreamt about was the other reason for Harry to leave him. The reason that he was still shaking a bit from this dream. He knew that Harry wouldn't leave him because it was too dangerous to Harry to be with him. It wouldn't even occur to Harry after the danger he had been in all his life. No it was the reverse, that Harry would leave him, because Harry was too much danger or trouble.
That fear he had had to face and defeat before with Harry.
It had been one of the only other times he had ever seen his lover thoroughly trash his office magically, a few months before he padded the cupboard, just before the crazy that descended on the school during Valentine's Day. It stuck in his mind because that was the incident where he had truly learned what Harry's homelife had done to him.
-Flashback-
Severus gritted his teeth in irritation. Harry had skipped his fourth meal in two days. Yesterday at breakfast, he had received a letter that had sent him storming out of the Great Hall. Severus had barely noticed Harry receiving mail, it wasn't that odd, but he did take note of the letter. He was more focused on his snakes and the two at the end who had been the butt of a recent Gryffindor joke. They were whispering far too much for his taste. He would have to have a talk with them about stealth and secrecy and the value of a non-lethal prank. His attention was drawn back to Harry when the DADA professor re-folded the letter with a snap. Harry's face was pale and he was biting his lip. He only did that when he was focusing on his breathing. Severus hadn't time to rise before Harry rose and stormed out of the breakfast bustle.
He had had rounds later that night and Harry hadn't joined him. Furthermore, the professor hadn't been in his quarters, office, classroom or any other place Severus had tried later in the night. He had appeared for breakfast this morning to find another letter waiting for him. Severus had paid better attention to this one, his Slytherin's properly managed the previous evening. It was paper instead of parchment, an interesting thing. Severus couldn't figure out why a Gringotts owl would use paper instead of their normal parchment. Harry had taken a bite of his bagel that he had snagged on his way past the Ravenclaw table before he noted it. He couldn't have more then scanned it before Severus saw a defeated look cross his face and he turned on his heel and left. He missed lunch and now Severus was glaring at his empty chair in during dinner.
He sighed, pushing his plate away and prepared to rise to hunt down the sexy irritant when he was stopped by Sinistra. He didn't have time for this as he had rounds again tonight. Sinistra turned to walk with him, however.
"You have rounds tonight, don't you Severus?" Severus nodded shortly. Sinistra didn't interact much with Severus or Harry, preferring the quieter Sprout most of the time.
"I would like to take them off your hands." Severus stopped short and looked at her in confusion. No one wanted rounds. They traded here and there, but no one actually wanted them.
"How generous. Before I accept might I inquire-"
"A reason? I had the Gryffindor's today, including their current troublemaker duo. I confiscated Professor's Potter's property from them. I was hoping you would return it to the young man." Severus continued to stare at Sinistra. She wasn't an irritating individual and had a fairly good brain behind her eyes, they would probably get along well, should they ever actually need to. Their respective fields and person interests simply did not intersect in a fashion conducive for such a relationship. She wouldn't keep him waiting long.
"They also informed me of why they had stolen something from the favorite professor of the school." Sinistra handed the paper from the previous day over. "They're worried about him. He assigned homework as study for class the last two days and hasn't handed out any punishments since yesterday's breakfast." Severus' eyebrow rose.
"They're worried about a professor that isn't handing out punishments?" Sinistra gave him a humored look.
"They like Professor Potter's punishments. More often then not they do something simply to spend an evening in Professor Potter's office to discuss the prank. He is only firm when there is danger involved. Otherwise, his detentions are all more helpful then reprimandatory. They are worried about him." Severus looked at the paper with some concern himself now. It was one thing if the professors noticed, but if even the self-centered student population, with its own drama to gossip about noticed...
"I'll talk to him tonight." He spun and strode off, letting his robes billow as was his habit. He had always enjoyed the impact it had on his watchers and had perfected it since he gained his mastery.
Later that night saw him knocking on Harry's office door. He could tell the wizard was in, so he wasn't moving until he talked. The letter had basic Gringotts spells, including that it was blank unless held by the intended recipient. He growled in his throat as he was ignored for over a half hour. He finally dismantled the wards he wasn't keyed into before opening the damn door.
Harry wasn't at his desk like normal. Severus took a moment before he located the silent wizard. He was sitting on the floor near the couch. There were bottles of alcohol around him, but near as Severus could see, none of them were empty. In fact other then being opened, he didn't think any of them were even missing any fluid. The place looked a bit worse for wear, except the spot around Harry. The alcohol bottle were collected near the couch, but the wood floor around Harry was bare. Those green eyes were gazing at a spot just in front of his crossed ankles, hands hanging limply in front of him.
Severus wasn't actually sure what to say. The last time he has asked what happened hadn't been particularly pleasant for either of them, though it had been informative. He was hoping for a less painful question this time.
"Yes, Severus?" Harry's voice was almost as defeated as his face had been that morning. Severus carefully stepped over the papers that littered the floor towards Harry.
"You appear to have made a mess." The observation nearly went unanswered, nearly. A small chuffing sound that Severus decided was a cross between a scoff and a snort emerged from the brunette. "Harry-"
"What are you doing here?" Apparently his name was enough to wake the slumbering dragon. Harry had surged to his feet, forcing Severus to back up a step or two rather then bang noses. Harry's arms waved wildly about, though Severus noted that his wand was indeed in one of them. "Get away!" Severus gritted his teeth and stood his ground at that. He didn't have the chance though.
The next thing Severus knew he was magically shoved out the door and the wards were up. Wards that Severus couldn't break, though he did spend an hour trying. He might as well tried to open a brick wall, Harry's office was officially closed.
000
Severus stalked to dinner the following day with alarming speed. Last night, after being shoved out of Harry's room he had tried to piece together what he could. One thing that stuck in his mind was that last shout. Harry had told him to 'Get away'. Not 'go away' or 'get lost', but to 'get away'. That was what you said to someone when they were approaching a dangerous animal or something. It re-enforced Severus' feeling that something was wrong with Harry. Minerva seemed to agree, showing her face for part of breakfast before taking off. The rumor mill said that all the DADA classes had joined Hagrid's classes for the day, and no one had seen Harry. He had tried to approach Minerva discreetly, but the witch was too busy and had simply nodded to him reassuringly. Minerva had taken on many of Albus' traits upon re-assuming the role as Hogwarts' Head Mistress, including her free counsel, that while annoying as Ron's owl, always still useful and accurate.
Severus had been halfway through his last class of the day, shortly before dinner when a piece of parchment zoomed into his classroom. He felt Harry's magic dissipate as he fisted the paper airplane before it tapped him on the nose. He didn't get the chance to read it, however, as one of his more dismal students soaked it, and half his dungeon in yellow callow root liquid of minorly unknown composition. All paper not in bags, including in his hand had been soaked and while he dried the parchment, the ink had run so badly that deciphering Harry's already terrible handwriting had become near impossible.
He had figured he'd ask the brat at dinner in an hour, or at least find out from Minerva where he was so that after dinner he could go and strangle the young man. Thus his current stalking sprint towards the Great Hall. He was already late for dinner, having to clean up the dungeons, deal with the students who had gotten covered, and thus turning an impressive shade of yellow, and the grades he would have to decipher from the mess. Then he had to deal with the student who had covered said scene in yellow and make sure there was no latent magic in the room. Between all these, he was a good half hour late for dinner.
Of course Harry wasn't there when he stalked into the room, that would have been way too easy. But he had all night. Flitwick had traded round with him tonight so he was free after dinner. He hadn't managed to sit yet when Minerva appeared in his path, frowning.
"What are you doing here?" Severus frowned in her direction.
"Trying to eat dinner and get out so I can hunt down a particularly irritating person and interrogate him." He hadn't quite meant to snarl out all that, but his concern for Harry was making him extra short with his employer. Minerva's lips tightened.
"Didn't you get his message?" He turned to her sharply, dark eyes boring into hers at the hissed comment.
"I was unable to read it." Minerva frowned slightly before he elaborated before she suggested something insulting like he had purposefully not read the missive. "It got covered in Yellow liquid before I opened it, thus making it slightly unreadable. It also explains my tardiness as well as the second year Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs." He saw her face clear of its irritation with him and the amused glow of being exasperated crossed her eyes.
"He's meeting you in your quarters at dinner 'if you still want him anyway'" She held up her own fingers in quotation marks to show Severus that she was similarly concerned with their DADA's Professor's state of mind. Severus did an about face, not even bothering to thank her.
He pulled the paper out of his pocket. It had had an impressive amount of ink on it and Severus started a long string of latin that he should have done during class. There was a way to find out what had been written, but it took some magic and Severus had wanted to solve all this in person anyway. The spell wasn't perfect but he was able to get some of it back.
Dear Severus Snape,
I apologize for my outburst in my office last night. ... explain if you would listen. ... I want to meet you in your quarters just before dinner if you still want to be friends. I know ... Please let me explain.
Harry
He had to piece together the words, having only some of the letters and missing entire sentences, but it was more information then he had had, and it worried him more. He automatically went through the motions of letting himself into his quarters only to stop frozen. The room was lit with several black candles, including two tall candles on the table with dinner and two place settings next to each other. One plate had a note on it. Severus picked in up, noting with warmth that the food was some of his favorites.
Professor Snape,
I apologize for my intrusion into your privacy. I know nothing can excuse my attack on you yesterday. I was hoping we could at least still be friends. I hope you do not mind my presence still in the castle as a professor. I would not want to inconvenience Head Mistress McGonagall halfway through the year by leaving. Do not fear, I will make myself scarce at the end of the semester. Please enjoy the Birthday meal. If you wish, Freckle is willing to come and remove it.
Harry
Severus felt a roar build up in his throat and he balled the parchment into his hands and swung around to paced a moment. Taking enough of a breath to speak took a moment, but finally he was able to shout Freckle's name. The elf whom Dobby had taken under his wing before his death popped into view almost immediately. Severus had already talked to this elf and he knew Freckle approved of Severus and Harry.
"Master Snape is calling Freckle?" Severus let himself pace once again before turning to the elf.
"Where is he?" Freckle cowered slightly under the thunderous tone.
"Master Snape is wanting to know where Master Harry is, sir?" Severus growled at the creature.
"Yes, Master Snape wishes Freckle to tell him where Master Harry Bloody Potter is! Where is he!" Freckle shivered a bit at the anger being portrayed by this already frightening individual.
"Master Harry is in the Astonomy Tower, Master Snape." Severus let out a frustrated sigh. "Master Snape, sir?" The dark man turned towards the elf, waiting. Freckle had been assigned to his quarters for some time and Harry had formed a good rapport with the creature. "Master Harry says that Master Snape hates Master Harry. That Master Harry did something bad and was a burden to Master Snape so Master Snape should hater Master Harry. Does Master Snape hate Master Harry?" The soulful eyes looked up at Severus as the speech knocked the breath from Severus' lungs.
Harry thought he hated him? Severus forced himself to calm down and look back on these events keeping Harry's family history in mind. He had only heard a bit about it from the man, mostly deducing what he knew from the scars on Harry's body. He did remember the one rant when he had found out.
Remind me of what an ungrateful freak I am! ... So I never forget what a selfish burden I am!
Harry truly believed that. Severus wasn't sure what had set the younger man off, but he guessed it was those letters. He opened the one Sinistra had given him. It blanked if another wizard held it, but he wondered...
"Freckle, could you please hold this for me?" Freckle obediently took the piece of paper and held it up to the light.
Those creatures said they would pass this on to you, boy. You get over here and sign for Marge's will. You killed her and she still left something for you in her will. We expect to see you Friday at 9 am at the lawyer's office. Do NOT bring any of your freak friends, if you still have any. Bring breakfast with you for the four of us, its the least you can do. Don't you dare put any of your filthy unnaturalness in it either! And don't bother Petunia, she's had enough grief because of you! Show up or else!
Vernon Dursley
Director, Grunnings
The writing appeared as soon as Freckle had the letter in his hand. Severus had to restrain himself from throttling the closest lifeform, it wasn't Freckle's fault. He glanced around the room again. The living room was impressive. Muted green throws covered most of the furniture, instead of being folded in the cabinet. Black candles floated here and there, all lit and two tall black candles stood proudly on the table. The place sets were next to each other instead of across as they usually were placed. The warming charm on the food was still strong and would probably hold up another few hours should it be tested. His birthday. He had forgotten about it, he so rarely celebrated it. It was one of the last few days in January and only Albus had ever known at school.
He felt his throat catch at the preparation this must have taken. Flitwick had switched with him for rounds over a week ago. He had thought there was something fishy about that. His favorite foods looked incredible, especially to his empty stomach. Harry had really tried to go all out for his birthday, a holiday that only three other people Severus' whole life had ever celebrated, his mother, Albus, and Lily. The knot in his throat turned into a sizable tangle of emotions as he thought of how worthless Harry seemed to think he was, of how little Severus value his presence in this previously lonely life.
"Freckle. Please take me to the bottom of the Astronomy Tower." The low request was sad and resolute. Severus wanted, no needed Harry back. And no simpering, stupid muggle was going to keep him from him.
Freckle dropped him off outside the door of the tower. Severus nodded to the creature and turned his attention to the door that separated him from Harry. The door made no noise as he pushed it open, neither did he as he glided across the room. He found Harry and what he saw staggered him, forcing him to swallow a sob of his own before it was let loose.
The proud, brave young man who had freed him of his slavery, and indeed freed the world of its fearful existence under the dictator known as Voldemort ws curled in the corner of the tower under the twinkling stars. He looked like he might have been crying, but his shoulders were still save the slightest motion to indicate he was still breathing. For a moment, Severus wondered if Harry had tired himself out enough to fall asleep, but the tension in the man's shoulder belied that idea.
"Harry?" A soft thud was heard as the brown head jerked up so quickly it collided rather painfully with the stone wall behind it. Severus struggled a moment with a smirk as the picture Harry made, clutching his head and growling before looking back at Severus again. They met gazes for a moment and Severus saw an open mind full of anguish. Harry knew full well what meeting his eyes meant.
"I'm sorry." Severus frowned at the small voice. Taking a step forward.
"Sorry? For what exactly? For hiding your worries? For shutting me out of your office? For missing four meals you can ill afford to miss? For thinking I'll abandon you at the first sign of trouble? For making me want you in my life?" The last was whispered as Severus knelt in front of Harry. He was treading on unstable ground here, admitting how much he had invested in Harry. He felt terror clutch his gut as he felt his fear of being left by this green eyed angel shine through his eyes. His need to help Harry was greater.
"Sev..." Severus let his face relax as the breathless whisper. Harry's eyes were shining in his direction as the long pale fingers gently caressed down the side of the younger man's face.
"I do not want you to avoid me, Harry. Please don- Harry, please." Severus could bring himself to say, to ask that much of a commitment from Harry. Not yet, the boy was so young, only in his twenties. Someday he'd wake up to the fact that Severus was twenty years older then he was, and then Severus would be alone again. The finger trembled on Harry's cheek as he saw hope blossom in those emerald eyes.
"You are not worthless, Harry. Never worthless." Harry gave him a shy smile before Severus found himself with an armful of Harry. The grip the younger man had on his cloak was desperately tight. Severus let his fingers thread through the brown messy hair that he had always hated. He felt the muscles in the body in his arms relax at the touch.
"There is a delicious meal set up in the dungeons?" Harry pulled away enough to look at Severus as the older man let his lips relax into a softer smirk. "Shall we taste it?"
-End Flashback-
They had used Freckle to get back to Severus' living room. The meal was amazing, both participants talking and chuckling a bit. Harry explained that he had gotten two letters from his uncle and they would discuss it the next day. Severus reassured Harry that he was worthy and wanted. A bond was formed that night, built from the ashes of despair and doubt. Severus snuggled closer to the chest he was laying against. He had almost lost Harry that night, it had terrified him. TO lose Haryr to someone else who would make him happy was one thing, but to lose him to his fear and despair was another.
"Hey, what are you thinking about?" Severus looked up at those powerful green eyes, pulling himself onto his elbows above the toned chest. He hadn't said it yet. He should have that night, but he had never found the right moment. He knew what he needed to say to Harry. For a man of so few words, he needed to hear these words pass through his lips almost as much as his partner did.
"I love you."
I have lots of more ideas for this story, but it will have to be in a sequel, because this is just too perfect a place to end this chapter. Sequel as soon as I write it ^_^ ANy scenes people want to see, please send in a review. Scenes I"m already imagining/requested are as follows:
Harry and Severus meet Ron and Hermione
End of the year celebration at the mansion
The night following that birthday dinner, and possibly more of the dinner
Harry playing Maid :)
Let me know if any others sound delicious! And please give me other opinions!
000
