"How big IS this place?" Amy asked, pausing in their long haul of the Doctor through the corridor. They'd switched position now, Amy had him by his arms, Rory had his feet. He'd been kicking so much, they decided to carry him around like an injured football player. Minus the stretcher of course.
"It's an entire moon!" the Doctor called out, obviously never willing to give up the grudge he'd formed over being taken to see a health specialist "When he said the East Wing, think of it more like another continent. There's islands of paediatrics, the Western side of the planet is practically a gigantic Emergency room in case there's entire countries that get critically injured, the entirety of the South Pole is where all the proctologists are located..." The Doctor's voice faded away when Rory gave him a sceptical look. "Alright, I might have made that one up, but this place is big. Bigger than London, bigger than Britain." The Doctor got a look on his face, as if he'd just realised life wasn't too bad "And YOU TWO have to carry me all way to the East Wing. Unless of course we go back to the TARDIS." He bobbled his head thoughtfully, though the sheer weight of his oversized noggin being supported by his thin, bird like neck made his head bobble naturally, like one of those dogs you found in tacky cars.
"We are not putting him anywhere near the controls of the TARDIS." River said, running a finger across an interactive map they'd found, the mess of corridors and rooms a mystery to the others "It was lucky break we even got him this far."
"Why, River, don't you trust me?" the Doctor said, trying to look offended and utterly failing to keep the boyish smile from his lips.
River simply sighed, pointing them down another corridor before replying tartly "Doctor, I would say I trust you as far as I can throw you, but I've seen how far I can throw you and I don't trust you that much."
The Doctor let out a loud bark of a laugh, the "HA!" reverberating down the silent paths they still followed. He seemed to grin to himself, then snap his head up and stare at River. "Hold on, since when have you thrown me?" he asked, sounding a little concerned.
"Spoilers." River said with a smile, biting at her lip to keep the laughter at her own memories in check. She loved that word, he'd taught her to use it, even though he didn't realise it sometimes. She'd said it to him in his past, and he'd said it to her in her own past... It was her little joke, and she was going to keep that special little word close, right until the end.
"Look, it's not like it matters." The Doctor said, shaking off the disturbing realisation he was going to be falling for River in the foreseeable future, and not just emotionally, "The East Wing must be a hundred miles away. There's no way this lot will be able to carry me all the way there." He looked around at everyone, attempting to swivel his head much further than his neck would allow. They seemed to be staring at something, something just beyond his line of sight.
"So how does this teleporter thing work?" Rory asked as they stared at the glimmering, chrome plated chamber in front of them. Past the obvious shine that the chrome gave on, the most noticeable thing to Rory was the very long tunnel at the back of the chamber. It was barely large enough for a person to crawl through, and seemed to go on for quite some distance, stretching out further than he could see. The curve of the moon's surface actually blocked him from seeing the other side. The Doctor, realising they'd managed to find another mode of transport over several hundred miles in a matter of second, decided to throw a silent pout again.
"Well, while the Doctor might want to bore you with all the science to it." River said, stepping into the chamber and scanning the shiny metal walls "It's usually as simple as get in a press a button." Only Rory could see the wince of pain that shot across the Doctor's face at that. Press a button indeed. River turned around, staring in confusion at the fact the others were still standing outside of the teleporter chamber. "Why are you out there?" she finally said, after a long moment of shared befuddlement.
"Well... if we all go together, won't we like... mix bits and pieces?" Amy said, shuffling a little and ignoring the derisive laugh that came from behind her "You know... like... Star Trek and all that?"
"Think Pond, think," the Doctor said, ignoring the fact that since Amy had been married, she was technically Amy Williams "This is a hospital, they heal people, they wouldn't have devices just sitting around in the open if they might randomly splice a person in two for pressing a button wrong. Anyway that Star Trek show is entirely science fiction. Photon Torpedoes indeed... You see, what happens with that teleporter, is that the elec-" The Doctor was cut short by a perfectly manicured hand clamping down across his lips, silencing him and leaving a blissful peace in his wake.
"The medics use it all the time." River said softly to Amy as she enjoyed being able to make the Doctor quiet for at least a few moments "It's perfectly safe. Come on."
The teleportation had been... uncomfortable. Not painful, not even distressing, but an uncomfortable feeling, as if everyone was being stretched very quickly, and snapped like a rubber band across an incredible distance. Then, at about half way through the trip, it felt like it was happening in reverse. They were being stretched to their destination, then held there while the rest of them caught up. It felt as if they should have arrived with a "ping" and a great amount of force, what actually happened was a soft welcoming chime and the doors of the destination teleporter sliding open to let them all out.
River strode out, Amy and Rory however... needed a moment. Amy took a step, and looked as if she had all her bones replaced with noodles. With an undignified "Woah!" and a loud "Hey- gah- Geronimo!" from the Doctor, the three still standing inside the transporter fell into a pile of uncoordinated limbs.
"Ah, yes, it can be a bit hard on first timers." River said, going over to aid the others, helping Amy to her feet first, then the Doctor. She planted a kiss on his dazed face, making him just that bit more disorientated so River could spin him over to Amy so he couldn't run off. Finally she helped up Rory, who looked as if he'd been sat on by a sumo wrestler, and not a gangly alien and appropriately proportioned woman.
"Come now, chin up." River said, using a firm hand to guide the others around, straightening the Doctor's bow tie, pushing Amy's hair out of her face, and dusting off Rory's wrinkled clothes "We're almost there. The appointment is just around the next corner." The others were practically supporting each other, but there was no chance that the Doctor would run off. If he tried, Amy and Rory would probably be dragged behind him like a string of cans on a wedding car.
"You know..." the Doctor said as they walked along, talking mostly to himself since River was translating the map again, "one thing has been bothering me about this whole thing..."
"The fact we're not treating you like an immortal God who is limited only by your own personal restraint?" River said, humouring him momentarily as she tried to find their location absolutely correct.
"No, but don't let me stop you from doing that. No, the thing that has been bothering me about this entire thing is... well... If I remember correctly, most of the highly trained professionals on Hippocratus 4 actually reside up in the North." He straightened up and looked around, almost tipping the still struggling Amy and Rory over as he squared his shoulders "So why are we heading East?"
"Simple." River said, waving her hand as if swatting the question out of the way, "We're going to see a specialist." One more corner, a fresh set of doors, this time with a scanner beside it. "Here we are!"
Rory and Amy stuck their arms in the air, letting out a wobbly "Hooray" at this news. The Doctor was running his eyes across every inch of the door however, trying to find something special about this "specialists" door.
"It's not very grand." the Doctor said finally, wrinkling his face in disgust as River slotted their appointment card into the door "He doesn't even have a plaque. What kind of doctor doesn't have a plaque?"
"Sure he has a plaque." River said with a nod, taking a slight step to the side and showing a bronze plaque shining on the wall. The name read "Dr Kenry Hellam", but the following space on the plaque, where qualifications would usually be displayed, had River's hand firmly blocking it from view.
"What are you hiding?" the Doctor said, suspicious at once and taking a little step closer to River.
"Oh... nothing..." River said, giving a little shrug and giving the Doctor a coy smile "Go ahead, you go in first." She waved towards the door with her other hand.
"Not until I see what you're hiding." the Doctor said, taking a step forward again and trying to get in between River and the plaque she was hiding. He tried to shift her hand away, but she was too quick for him... and although he didn't like to admit it, she was much stronger. "Just... let... me... see!" the Doctor said desperately, scrabbling at the plaque, trying to get at the letters under neath.
With one smooth movement River uncovered the plaque, pulling the appointment card out of the slot, and unlocked the door of the office. The Doctor, in a mad attempt to satisfy his curiosity, had managed to sandwich himself between the doorway and River herself. The Doctor got a brief glimpse of River's smile before he was almost catapulted through the doorway, into the office beyond. The door click shut behind him, and River could hear a distinct cry of "A dentist?!" from the other side.
"Just go to your appointment sweetie." River called through the locked door, grinning to herself for managing to trick the Doctor again. She was on a roll today. "It's good for you!"
The Doctor yelled in frustration, looking around the office, the expression on his face somewhere between disgust and terror. Only one thing he could do. He could man up, go to the dentists, get his teeth checked and suffer through having a pair of thick fingers in foul tasting gloves poke around in his mouth. But there was only one thing to do. He pulled out his sonic screwdriver. His one weapon, if it could be called that, since it was entirely non-deadly. It was a tool, something that emitted a variety of different frequencies, and could do everything from reattach barb wire to short out electrical pulses at a distance. Except for wood, it couldn't do wood.
"Sweetie," River said in a dangerous tone, having not moved from her spot on the other side of the door, and hearing the soft whirr of the Doctor's sonic "If you don't go to the dentist right now like a big boy, I will personally knock you out and remove all you teeth with your sonic screw driver. Understood?" There was a moment where the whirr of the sonic could still be heard. Then a click, and the sonic was put back into the Doctor's jacket pocket.
"Good." River said with a sweet smile, the threat hadn't entirely been empty, but she'd known he would see sense eventually "Have a good time sweetie. We'll be back before you know it." She turned to the other two, Rory and Amy still somewhat unbalanced by the teleport over here. "Come on," River said with a little smile at them "We'll go get something to eat. There's bound to be a cafeteria around here somewhere." She waved the map to show she could lead the way, then took Amy's arm to lead them along. Hopefully after a drink these two would stop acting like a pair of zombies.
A/N: I would like to say that the Star Trek insult in here does not reflect the views or beliefs of the writer (or the poster, for that matter).
