PARADISE IMPERFECT
Chapter 3
Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Glee (except a beach towel and Season 2 DVD. I own nothing related to any of the songs I use (except for an admiration of the tune).
Sam looked around the dismal apartment. He could afford something much better, but he didn't plan on staying in the small place for any length of time. In fact, he signed only a six-month lease. There was a living room, bedroom, bathroom, and kitchen that was just barely large enough for a small dinette set. It was a third-floor walkup, no elevators. He figured he'd buy a couple decent sofa bed couches for when his kids wanted to stay over, maybe the boys one weekend and the girls the next. He had heard about the apartment complex from Finn as Finn had moved here when he and Rachel split up. He sent a quick text to Finn.
I'll be in 303…signed lease today. Need to go get some stuff.
Sure dude…I'm free tonight Finn replied.
The next person Sam messaged: Quinn. He told her where he'd be staying and that he'd be over on the weekend to pick up more of his stuff. He received a simple k as her response. He sighed and felt defeated. He looked around his new place, then locked up to go to the grocery store.
Later that night, he met up with Finn and wound up at a Target. He bought a futon, an end table, dishware, silverware, towels, and toilet paper to get started.
"God, this sucks, man," Finn said as they wandered around the store.
"Yeah, it's pretty wrong, I think, but what am I gonna do? She's hanging with Adam, I guess," Sam said, picking up some glasses, then checking out microwaves.
"Adam? Isn't that Jasper's…"
"Yeah. Yep, that's the guy. I should've known this would happen eventually."
"Aren't you and Katy, that Kim chick's sister, aren't you two…?"
"Friends."
"Oh, okay," Finn said, a bit confused. "You think you could hook me up with her?"
Sam stared at him. "I don't think so, Finn."
"So...you moved out kinda suddenly..."
"We haven't been getting along for...a long time now. I'm busy with the farm; she's busy with her daycare, then she went back to school and got her business degree. She's busy with the kids. It's like we just..." Sam shrugged. "Grew up and grew apart, I guess."
"Yeah, that happened with Rachel...she devoted her entire life to Ari and Andy, pretty much forgot she had a husband, then her career took off...and here I am," Finn commiserated.
"Have you talked to her lately?"
"Eh, a couple weeks ago...she was just updating me on her schedule," Finn replied. "She'll be gone to New York City for a couple weeks and wants me to keep the kids." He rolled his eyes when he mentioned New York City.
"At least you have a spare bedroom," Sam said, going down the aisle for paper towels.
"They'll be bored senseless, though." Finn picked up a 12-pack of Budweiser. "This'll be good tonight."
A couple hours later, on the Belle Meade High School football field, Sam and Finn had polished off the 12-pack and were starting on another. They were tossing a football back and forth in the almost total darkness. The only lighting they had was from the parking lot lights.
"It's pretty damn cool that you can just come here whenever," Sam said, stumbling and laughing. He sat down on the field at the fifty-yard line and lay back. Then, he yelled. And yelled again. Finn sat down nearby and didn't say anything.
"God! When did this become so fucked up?" Sam yelled, his voice echoing off the nearby school. He groaned. "All I ever wanted was to be happy, ya know? Happy with Quinn, the kids, my life...now, it's all a giant fucking mess and I can't fix it!"
A sound of a beer can being popped open...Finn handed it over to Sam. He sat up to drink it in only a few gulps, then crushed it and tossed it aside with the other empties. He chuckled.
"I've got a wife who's fallen out of love with me, a kid smoking pot, another kid who won't speak, and two little angels...and I've just fucked it all up."
Finn mumbled my daughter's hair is pink and then stayed silent.
"Remember in high school? Remember how...remember how Q kissed you after that big game when she was with me? Remember? And I broke up with her so she could be with you?" Sam chuckled again. "I remember. I remember how awful that felt, how there was no way it could ever get worse than that...it wasn't even close to how broken I am now."
xxxxx
"Come to New York with me!" Rachel squealed to Quinn over lunch. "You said you needed to get away this weekend...leave the kids with Kourt and Ryan and come with me!"
Quinn toyed with her food, hesitant. "I could only go for the weekend, you know. I have a lot of work to handle here."
"Of course...the daycare and the kids...didn't you say Sam up and got his own place? Maybe he could keep the boys one night and the girls the next? It won't kill him. Finn is going to have both Arielle and Andrew the entire time I'm in New York. It's his job as father." Rachel watched her friend waffle. "Really, Quinn, it'll be nice to have a friend there before I start the consulting job...seriously."
Quinn sighed, squealed a bit, drummed her fingers on the table. "Lemme check my schedule." She pulled out her phone.
"What kind of schedule do you have for a weekend?"
"Work never ends for me, Rach. It's constant…the kids, Jasper's therapy, work, taking care of the farm…but, you know, a weekend away sounds exactly like what I do desperately need," Quinn said, smiling.
Quinn sent Sam a text message, telling him that she'd be leaving town for the weekend, could he keep the kids?
He replied that he'd work something out.
"So…what's up with you two anyway? I mean, we all noticed you two were kind of, well, growing more distant the last couple years…right after Finn and I separated…"
Quinn tore little pieces from her napkin, pondering her answer.
"I went back to school for my business degree…and it was so hard getting it off the ground in the beginning…then it took off and took up nearly all my time. What time I had left I spent with the children. I've devoted so much time to Jasper and his speech issues…then the twins came along. It's just so sad…Sam and I just…grew apart. He put me on the back burner; I put him on the back burner. We just…lost each other," Quinn said quietly. "Then…Adam…"
"Does Sam know?"
"We're only friends, Rach, nothing more. He listens to me, pays attention to me…makes time for me. I don't know. Sam is seeing someone else."
Rachel dropped her fork. "Pardon me?"
"Sam, yes, he's seeing some woman…the sister of his ex-girlfriend, no less. He claims they're just friends, like me and Adam, but when he blew up the other night he went to her." Quinn stirred her coffee.
"How did you find out?" Rachel asked quietly.
Quinn shrugged. "Word gets around."
Rachel reached across the table, covering Quinn's hand with her own. "I'm sorry, Quinnie."
Quinn sucked in her breath, blinking her eyes furiously. No tears! No tears!
"It was bound to happen, Rach," she finally eked out. She sat up straighter. "Yes, New York City. Thank you for asking me to go…it's just what I need right now."
xxxxx
He grabbed a fistful of pink-streaked hair, kissing her hard. She ran her hand up his arm to the back of his neck, pulling him closer.
"Oh my god, Joey…" she mumbled.
"I know…I love kissing you…"
He ended the kiss slowly, not really wanting to. "Are you gonna tell your mom or dad?"
"Should I?"
He shrugged, much like his mother. "My dad smelled the pot the other day."
"Oh god…"
"Yeah…he was pretty shitty about it…I'm not telling them right now. They're in the middle of something and I dunno…I just don't want them to know," Joseph said.
"Then I won't say anything either," she said, pulling him back to her.
xxxxx
"Can I just stay at the farm this weekend with the kids? They can help me move my stuff to my apartment," Sam asked Quinn. "If that's cool with you."
Quinn gripped her phone. "Sure, Sam. That makes sense. Can you be here Friday night? I'm leaving late."
"Sure…I've missed the kids."
"They've missed you, too," she replied.
Awkward silence.
"Okay," Sam said finally, sighing. "Then, enjoy your, uh, time away. Is this something you're, uh, doing with Adam?"
She rolled her eyes.
"No, Sam. It has nothing to do with Adam."
Sam was quiet. He then asked if she was telling the truth.
"Yes, Sam, I'm telling the truth! Gosh, I'm going with Rachel to New York for the weekend…she invited me!"
Sam was silent for a moment in response to her outburst. "Sorry...I..."
"Just...don't worry about it, Sam. I'll see you about 6 Friday night then?"
"Sure, yeah, I'll be there," he replied. They hung up. He sent a message to Finn.
Wanna bring the kids over to the farm this weekend? Q's going with R to nyc
Finn told him that'd be cool and they'd be over later on Friday after Quinn had left.
xxxxx
Sam knocked at his own front door. He could hear the usual chaos going on inside, post supper. All the kids were downstairs, vying for Quinn's attention before she left town. For a moment, his heart clenched up...he had only been gone a few days but his life felt so empty when hearing his children's laughter, Quinn's voice.
The door swung open while he stood there turning this all over in his mind. Quinn stood there staring at him. He stared back at her. It felt so wrong to not grab her and hug her and kiss her.
To Quinn, he looked forlorn, standing on the porch, hands shoved in the pockets of his jeans. He didn't say anything to her, just bore into her soul with his eyes.
She cleared her throat. "Come in, Sam." She stood back, holding the door open for him. "The kids are in the family room."
He followed her on into the house. She looked to be dressed for a business meeting, slim tight-fitting skirt and blazer and blouse and heels. A suitcase sat near the front door. Before she reached the ruckus going on in the family room, he took her by the elbow.
"I didn't mean to, earlier on the phone, to say you were lying...about Adam or whatever..." he started.
She held her breath.
"Just...if you're going to be seeing someone, then we probably need to make this official," he finished.
She tilted her head a bit. "What do you mean, official? I'm not seeing anyone; you are."
He swallowed. "Official, as in a divorce, Quinn. I'm not seeing Katy; she's a friend."
Quinn's eyes were on fire. "A friend with benefits?"
"It's not that way, Quinn," Sam said, reaching forward and grabbing her arm. "She is only...and will only ever be...my friend." The last of that sentence he practically spat out.
"Daddy's here!" Juliet screamed from the hallway. Jasmine screamed too, and they both ran to Sam, grabbing him around the legs. He let go of Quinn and bent to pick up both girls, one on each arm. He pecked both of them on the cheek.
"We'll discuss this more when I return, Sam," Quinn said, going to the kitchen.
"Daddy! Jules and I want to invite you to a tea party!" Jasmine yelled in his ear.
"I'd be delighted," he said, carrying them to the family room where he found Joey and Jasper playing a video game on his old PS5. "Hey guys...Uncle Finn's coming over this weekend with Ari and Andy. I don't want any fighting."
Joey's head whipped around. "He's bringing Arielle?"
Sam paused a moment. "Well, yeah. He's got the kids while Rach goes to New York."
Joey stared back at Sam. "Okay, cool." Then, he turned around to continue playing the video game.
Sam ruffled Jasper's hair as he walked behind him to go to the kitchen.
"-yeah, Sam's here so I'm taking off," Quinn looked up from her phone. "See you soon."
She slid her phone into a pocket of her skirt.
"Enjoy your trip," he said to her.
"I plan on it, except for missing the kids, but they'll be fine with you," she responded. Another awkward silence. "Okay, so..."
She left the kitchen to round up the kids to tell them goodbye. Sam watched from the kitchen. Joseph and Jasper paused their game and got up to hug Quinn, each kissing her cheek. Juliet and Jasmine clamored for her attention; she picked each girl up for a special hug and kiss. Nothing could ever beat the way his kids loved their mother, seeing it through his eyes...to him, it was perfect.
"Okay, guys, I need to get going or else I'll miss the plane with Auntie Rach and you know how she is," Quinn said, wiping away a stray tear, then turning toward the front door. "You can reach me on my cell, of course, I'll have it on the whole time I'm gone. I love you all."
Sam followed her to the front door. "I can load this up for you..." he said, grasping the handle of her suitcase.
"Thank you, Samuel," she said quietly, opening the front door for him.
He loaded it into the backseat of her car, then opened her driver's side door for her. She slid into the car and shut the door, turning the car on. He stood there, waiting to see what she'd do. She actually put the car in gear, then realized he was still standing next to the car. She rolled down her window.
"The kids, Sam..."
He put his hands on her door and leaned down until he was eye-level with her. Everything in his being told him to kiss her goodbye.
Instead, he said, "Take care." He slapped the top of the car and headed back inside.
