A/N: Violence. Blood. Tyler being thrown around like a rag doll. You've been warned.


Epic Acts Of Courage And Heroism

The sound of the gate slamming shut resounded throughout the immense hollow room. Nearly blinding in its whiteness, the chamber was astoundingly empty, save for the doors at either end. And the three who had just entered, of course."

Shuddering from the permeating cold, Tyler whispered, "Man, guys. This place is really giving me the creeps."

"I know, man," Geoff responded. "It's like that one room right before a really hard boss in a game or something."

Tyler nodded. "Yeah, something like that."

"Yeah, there probably is someone behind that door. And why are we whispering?"

"Good question."

"Hey, guys?" Bridgette said, piercingly loud compared to the boys' whispering. "Can we just get this over with?"

Before either guy could respond, the far door was launched off of its hinges with a deafening boom. As the echoes reverberated around the room, Chef Hatchet stomped through the doorway, scowling the teens. In one hand he held what looked like a large lavender nail, over four feet in length and a good two inches around. As he approached, he barked, "What do you think you're doin' comin' into my fortress without askin'? Your butts better be headed back out before I—"

He stalled when he saw Geoff, trying to remember what Chris had told him about the party animal. However, Tyler wrecked his train of thought. "Ha, yeah right! We are gonna take you down right here, right now! This is for what you put us through on TDI!"

And he charged, bellowing like a madman. He balled both fists and stared down Chef, intent on ending the battle with a single blow. But that would be boring if that happened, right? As soon as the jock was close enough, Chef lashed out with his weapon, wielding it like a spear. Tyler narrowly dodged impalement, but was swept off to the side by Chef's strange tool. As he crashed into a granite wall, Chef barked out his harsh laughter. "Now, listen here, you punks. This is my fortress. No one enters my fortress without my permission. Ya got that? You'd better retreat now and remember that. Or I'll have no choice but to...you get my drift. Now, go on! Get out! You have no chance against the Salad Sword!"

"...Salad Sword?" Bridgette asked before realizing what we meant. "Wait, Enceladus?"

"Yeah, that!"

"Sorry, Chef dude," Geoff said, eying the strange weapon, "but we need that."

Chef chuckled darkly. "Oh, you need it, huh? Well, go on! Try and take it from me, you sissies!"

"Oh, it's on now!" Tyler declared, throwing himself at the mad cook once more. He was again dispatched with a heavy blow from the side. Chef roared, "Is that all you got?"

"Heck no, I'm just getting warmed up! Cowabunga!"

Bridgette slapped her forehead as Tyler was launched across the room for the third time. "Geoff, I think you should handle this."

"Uh, Bridge? By myself? How am I supposed to do that?"

"Of course not by yourself. Just use your MOVE!"

Bridgette dove away from her boyfriend, leaving Geoff to nearly be skewered by Enceladus. Screaming, he turned tail and began running circles around the room, Chef in hot pursuit. Covering her ears to ward off his screams, Bridgette hurried over to where Tyler lay in a daze. He looked up and whimpered, "Hey...please heal me..."

"Um...okay." Bridgette held out her staff, looking at it as though she had never seen it before. She waved it over his head to no effect. Holding it above her head and commanding it to heal him yielded similar results. The same with waving over him and commanding it simultaneously. He displayed a distinct lack of accelerated healing after Bridgette pointed it straight at him and swore at it to work. Repeating those actions did nothing, and finally the surfer just slammed it on the ground. "How the heck does this thing even work?"

"Augh!"

Bridgette jumped in shock as Geoff flew by and became embedded deep in the stone, legs flailing wildly. Chef cackled and shouted, "And then...there was one. Heh heh heh heh..."

"Oh, crap, oh, crap, oh, crap..." Petrified, the surfer repeated that mantra as Chef's thundering footfalls drew closer. She turned to look over her shoulder and squeaked like a mouse when she saw Chef only a couple feet behind her. Raising the sword/club, he hollered, "Game over, sissies!"

"Not yet!" Tyler stopped feigning defeat and jumped in front of the blow. He took it full force but managed to grab a hold of the weapon, preventing him from winding up against the wall a fourth time. As Chef violently tried to shake him loose, he shouted, "Bridgette! Get Geoff outta the wall! Hurry!"

"Okay!" She turned and grabbed Geoff by the ankles, prompting him to thrash harder. "It's okay, Geoff! It's me!"

No good. He was too far into the stone to hear her. With a defeated sigh, she anchored one leg against the smooth rock and pulled, eliciting a muffled yelp of pain from her boyfriend. After a few seconds of tugging, they both rocketed away from the wall, with Geoff landing on top of her. Still panicking, he screamed and rolled away before realizing who had pulled him off. "Oh, wow, ya scared me there, babe."

She gave him a thankful smirk as he pulled her back up and drew his now-bent sword. He returned the smile before turning to face Chef, now smashing Tyler against the floor to shake him of. Geoff charged forward and took a swipe at the larger man. It wasn't a particularly beautiful swing, but that hardly mattered. The copper cut through Chef's apron and dug into his skin, leaving a foot-wide gash across his chest. Howling, Chef positioned Tyler(still clutching Enceladus) in between him and Geoff to dissuade him from attacking again. He winced in pain and growled, "That was a lucky shot, party boy! You won't get another!"

And he jammed the toothpick-like weapon deep into the ground, finally knocking the red-clad athlete off. He took another slice from Geoff to the left arm and lashed out with a powerful kick. It connected with Geoff's chin and sent him skidding back against the cracking wall. Tyler tried to take advantage of Chef's lowered guard with a kick of his own, but managed to miss. Neither Chef nor Bridgette were particularly surprised by his poor aim. "Boy, you have got to get glasses or sumthin'! In the next life, that is!"

Enceladus crashed down upon Tyler's head and drove him into the floor like a stake. His head lolled to one side and Bridgette could tell he was either unconscious or worse. Geoff, limping on his right foot a little, charged forth, nameless weapon held over his head. He yelped and leapt to the side of Chef's first strike, ducked under the second and jumped the last. The blade sliced Chef's face this time, leaving him to howl his rage. Turning and grinning at his girlfriend, Geoff shouted, "Woo-hoo! I think I'm getting the hang of this sword fighting stuff!"

"Um...Geoff? Behind you?"

Bridgette shook her head as Geoff screamed and was chased around the room again. Taking advantage of Chef's absence, she went and knelt down next to Tyler. She leaned in and whispered, "Hey, Tyler? Tyler!"

"L...lind...wha?"

"Um, hold on. I'm gonna try this again."

She shook her staff, waved it over his head, commanded it to heal him, pointed it at him, swore under her breath, and performed just about every combination of those actions imaginable. Tyler remained bruised, babbling quietly about Lindsay. Sighing in frustration, she turned to find Geoff. He was in the process of flying right at her head. "Oh, crap!"

Bridgette ducked and felt Geoff pass over her, a dull thud signaling his crash into the wall. Chef stomped over to her again, the blood running down his face somehow making his sneer all the more terrifying. Chuckling to himself, he whispered, "By the way, you're usin' it wrong, blondie."

And he raised Enceladus high over his head, cackling down at the petrified surfer. She squeaked and rolled to the left as the sword came down, damaging the stone floor. The sword followed her and struck her in the chest, leaving her gasping for air. The staff flew from her hand and struck Tyler on the head. Another blow followed, catching her from the side with sickening crunch, before Chef kicked her all the way back against the wall. She tried to rise again, but collapsed, heaving. Chef's manic grin widened as he looked down at her broken frame. "Tell ya what. If ya never come near this place again, I'll let you go."

"And if we don't?"

Chef's whipped around and received a blow to the face. Tyler stood grinning at Chef, arms crossed, wounds completely healed. Throwing Bridgette's staff over to her, he shouted, "Let's go!"


"Hey, um...Chris? Your Majesty?"

"What?" Chris whined, in the process of tearing into a turkey leg. "I'm eating here, Phil!"

"Um...Geoff and Bridgette are, um...kinda losing..."

"Losing? They aren't even supposed to be fighting anyone yet!"

Phil sighed. "Chef didn't want to give them the sword."

Chris stared blankly for a moment. "Oh. Oh well. Sucks to be them. Guess we're gonna need a a new Chosen One."

"Um...what was all that you were saying about not dying?"

"Honestly? I don't what can happen to them here. I just fed them that so that they'd go and do this." Chris threw the remainder of the leg, clocking Phil on the head. "Now, can I please eat in peace?"

Phil whimpered and ran back out, calling back, "Yes, Your Majesty!"


Bridgette groaned, agony shooting through her entire body. Her ribs were broken, breathing felt like trying to suck in fire, and her legs were numb. Vaguely, she heard the sounds of Tyler and Chef fighting, but that hardly mattered anymore. As far as she was concerned, it was game over. And the pine branches poking at her skull weren't helping matters. She moaned again, and tried to roll away from the annoying stick. Yeah, so much good that thing had done her. At least she would have been able to defend herself with a sword. There was nothing to do but wait for whatever Chef had in store for her, which would probably not include alleviating her pain...which, she realized, felt like it was going away.

She ran a finger down her side, gasping as she felt her ribs. Her perfectly healed ribs. The pain that breathing brought had completely faded while she consumed in her pessimism. Virtually jumping to her feet, she grinned and ran over to where Geoff lay slumped against the wall. Maybe if I just poke him with this...

She poked with the staff, holding it against his skin for several long moments. She watched in wonder as the cuts and bruises on his face mended themselves in mere seconds. His shoulder snapped into place and his knee twisted. No amount of prodding could do anything for his battered armor or torn shirt, however. He blinked and muttered, "Bridge...?"

Before she could embrace him, he was back on his feet, eternal grin brightening his face. "You got it to work, huh? That's my girl!"

"Um...Tyler did, actually," she admitted, locking joyful eyes with him. "It works by contact."

"Cool. Now what do you say we take down Chef?"

"Yes, dammit!" Tyler shouted, held upside down by Chef. "I could really use some help here!"

"I got your back, dude!" Geoff picked up his sword again and charged, Bridgette only steps behind. Chef threw Tyler to the ground and swung at Geoff. The grinning party-goer ducked and stabbed, piercing Chef's stomach. Beside him, Bridgette hit Tyler once with the staff. Whatever magic the staff used poured into the athlete, and he was back on his feet a second later. As Chef and Geoff dueled, Tyler sneaked in and threw a punch at Chef. It missed badly, as per usual, but the cook was distracted enough to take a blow to the backside from Geoff. He howled and tried to strike his assailant down, but Tyler's follow up kick actually found its mark, leaving a footprint on Chef's head. The larger man spun around and knocked the two down. Thanks to Bridgette, they were both up again almost before Chef had finished his spin, grinning at him. The cook gawked. "That's...that's impossible, man! I knock you out, and you're back up right away?"

"Damn right, dude!" Tyler crowed, preparing to strike again. "I told you, we are so taking you down here! Let's finish him, man."

Chef let an "eek" and retreated as his foes struck out at him again. Once he was a safe distance away, he roared, "All right, roaches! I didn't want to have to use this, but you guys just won't stay down! Say hi to Chris for me...as ya fly over his fancy little castle! Chef Buster!"

And he launched forward, literally gliding over the ground, Enceladus scraping against the stone. He cackled at the petrified athlete before him and brought the sword around. The blow struck Tyler in the chest and launched him against the wall for the fourth time that fight. The only difference being he was about fifty feet off the ground. Moaning, he fell out of his impact-created niche and slammed against the ground, unmoving. The remaining heroes stared at his motionless body while Chef laughed. "Ha! That's right, you punks don't stand no chance against the Salad Sword! You up next, party boy!"

Geoff screamed and ran (again), but was no match for Chef's new-found speed. He, too, found himself high above the floor for a few seconds before crashing down like a meteor, crater and all. Chef barked out his joy before turning to Bridgette. And Tyler again, who looked like he was in perfect health in spite of his ruined clothing. His sports attire was so dirty it didn't even appear red anymore, but he was still giving Chef a confident smirk. Chef howled, "Why won't you fools stay down? And you will not be doin' that, blondie!"

Chef launched a Chef Buster at the surfer, but his intercepted by Tyler's leg. The larger man cried out as the athlete tripped him, giving Bridgette a window of opportunity to heal Geoff. Chef felled Tyler with one leg-snapping strike and rose, growling. As he stomped towards them, his breathing an angry hiss, Tyler shouted, "Hey, Bridgette! I got an idea!"

"An idea?" Chef hollered, turning around. "You think you can fool me with some fancy idea? If ya do, you're wrong. I will not-"

"Knock away the sword, dude!"

Chef gasped and tried to block Geoff's attack, but was far too late. The blade struck the back of the cook's hand. He roared in pain and dropped Enceladus. Grinning, Geoff picked up the legendary blade and, in a sing-song voice, said, "Oh, Chef?"

"Forget it, dude!" Tyler called out as Bridgette jabbed at his leg. "We just need the sword, right?"

Geoff stared at Enceladus for another second before grinning. "Oh, yeah, huh. Tyler, Bridge, let's go!"

Bridgette fell into step beside Geoff, smiling up at him, while Tyler trailed behind. The three walked back out the fortress, leaving Chef to cry over his cut hand. Several minutes of mourning later, Chef glared at the gate. "Oh, they are not getting' away with this! Where did I leave Ol' Betty?"


"Well, guys," Tyler began as they wandered through the rolling hills once more. "I'd say that was an excellent adventure."

"Except for you two getting thrown around all the time," Bridgette retorted, although she was smiling. Tyler chuckled. "Oh, come on. What's an adventure without a little pain and danger?"

"Cha, I know man," Geoff exclaimed, exchanging a fist bump with the athlete. "I mean, one time at this party a few years ago..."

"Um, Geoff?" Bridgette squeaked, suddenly looking terrified. "Do you hear galloping?"

"Uh...yeah? What's so bad about..."

All three turned to look behind them. Several hills away, Chef was riding towards them on a little white pony, a fierce glare and dried blood combining to give him the scariest face in all of Wawanakwa. Geoff took off, shouting, "Run!"

They did. Chef chased them through the grass towards Wawanakwa, his weight dramatically slowing down Ol' Betty. Even at full gallop, the horse had trouble catching the fleeing teens. They were almost into the outskirts of Wawanakwa before he was any real threat to them. "All right, you thieving roaches! This is the end for you!"

Tyler, out of breath and about to collapse, wheezed, "You guys...go on...I'll hold him off for you..."

He turned and tried to jump-kick Chef off his mount, but was rammed by the horse instead. He fell to the ground in front of the horse, unwillingly tripping the equine. And getting trampled in the process, of course. Chef roared incoherently as he fell to the ground, watching as Geoff and Bridgette continued their flight towards the castle. He sneered at the athlete. "Boy, you are dead!"

"Bring...it..." Tyler replied, trying to sound intimidating despite his ragged state. He rose and received a punch to the jaw, knocking him to the dirt again. Chef taunted, "What, can't get up? Finish him, Betty!"

Nothing happened. "...Betty?"

"I think the rabbit has her, man."

Chef looked over the hills and saw a white rabbit hopping away, his prized horse in its maw. "No! Betty! Get back here!"

"Forget it, dude," Tyler grumbled. "She's gone and you can't catch Geoff."

"Oh, yeah?" Chef snarled. He grabbed Tyler's collar and pulled him up to his face. "Let's play a game. I'm gonna throw you as far as I can. If I catch you before you hit the ground, I win."

"Eek..."

"You think I'm slow, red? Think again!"

And with a mighty toss, Tyler was flying high above the country surrounding Wawanakwa. As he continued his meteoric rise, he briefly marveled at the strength Chef must have had to throw him so far. And then he cursed the madman as he began to plunge towards the ground...ahead of his companions. If Chef was capable of catching him here, there was no way those two would be able to outrun him. Helpless, he watched the ground rise up to meet him.


Bridgette and Geoff were completely unaware of Tyler's plight. Geoff, huffing, began to slow down before falling to his knees. "Bridge...I...can't...run...anymore..."

She knelt next to him, giving him a small, encouraging smile. "We have to do this, Geoff. I don't know how much longer Tyler can hold off Chef, but I'll bet that-"

Tyler crashed into the earth next to her, digging a hole upon impact. She turned and saw Chef barreling down a hill towards them on foot. She jabbed her staff down the Tyler-made hole and grabbed Geoff's arm before taking off again. Behind her, Tyler clambered out of the hole and followed behind as she dragged her protesting boyfriend along. They entered the city and began winding their way through the crowded streets. Chef, on the other hand, simply trampled anyone who got in their way. Chef was mere meters behind when they passed the pub, nearly running over a certain tan-skinned girl. Ignoring Courtney's indignant screech, they made their way up onto the bridge connecting the castle to Wawanakwa proper. The guards at the end look confused as the four figures ran across the bridge towards the castle gate. Bridgette, the only one of the group who still had enough breath to speak, shouted, "Open the gate!"

"Open the gate and die, fool!" Chef barked, glaring at the soldiers. They looked at each other, unsure of what they should do. Bridgette answered that for them. "This guy's the Chosen One! We need to see Chris!"

The gate went up. "They're lyin'! Close it and I'll take care of them!"

The gate came back down at Chef's request. Tyler, now almost in Chef's grabbing range, called, "Don't listen to this madman! Open the gate!"

Up. "Did you hear what this ingrate called me? Close it!"

Down. "Open it!"

"Close it!"

"Open!"

"Close!"

"Chef's evil! Open!"

"Why you...! Close the damn gate!"

The guards settled on halfway up just as they reached the gate. Bridgette and Tyler slipped under, carrying Geoff with them. Chef tried to do the same and smashed his head against the steel door. From the ground, he growled, "Okay, now open it!"


Chris tapped his foot impatiently. It had been an hour since Phil's last update, and he really wanted to know if they needed a new Chosen One. In the silence of throne room, he began pondering who should replace Geoff. Bridgette was obviously out, Duncan was unreliable, Heather had a certain major issue...ah yes, Trent. The goody-goody would certainly accept the task. And hey, he even had a guaranteed ally in Gwen. Yes, Trent would be perfect...

The doors rattled as someone tried to enter. Chris looked up and shouted, "Sorry! Door's locked!"

He pressed a switch and the doors flung inwards, revealing a panicked Phil. "Ah, Phil! Do you have an update?"

The former cameraman/pizza deliveryman knelt from the doorway. "Chris...I mean, Your Majesty! The Chosen One has arrived!"

Chris leapt to his feet, grinning ear to ear. "Awesome. Bring 'em in!"

Phil didn't need to. Bridgette (still dragging Geoff) and Tyler burst through the door behind him and crashed into him. As the four went down in a tangled, Chef broke through the doors behind the ones the trio had entered through, completely destroying them, and tripped over the mass of bodies on the ground. Chris blinked at the tangled mass before him before bursting into laughter. "That...was...awesome!"

He waited until the five were untangled before continuing. "Well, first off, congratulations on acquiring Enceladus, Geoff!"

Geoff gave him a weak thumbs up from the ground. After being dragged along the ground during the mad rush to the gate, he had wound up looking even worse off than Tyler. Chef didn't look particularly good, either, due to his ripped and bloody clothing, a broken nose, and a nasty gash on his cheek. Bridgette was the only one who came out of the battle still looking decent. Chef shot Geoff a glare before shouting, "Gimme back my sword now, you little-"

"Whoa, Chef!" Chris cut him off. "Geoff's the Chosen One! He kinda needs Enceladus."

Chef nodded, but continued glaring at Geoff. Ignoring him, Chris pressed on. "Okay then, I have no idea why you fought Chef-"

"Because he wouldn't give us the sword!" Tyler shouted, jabbing a finger at the cook. Chef growled and jabbed Tyler in the chest. "Yeah, because you came in all threatenin' me an' all! Would you give the legendary Salad Sword to someone like that? Didn't think so."

"Hey, you threatened us first!"

"I told you to leave, I didn't say nothin' 'bout fighting you!"

"Enough, guys!" Chris said, separating the two. Once he was certain they would stay quiet, he continued. "Okay, no matter what the circumstances, you guys acquired Enceladus. Good job. Now that you've done that, I can tell what the next part of the chall...er, quest is. You must-"

"Betty!" Chef cried out suddenly, tearing up. Every one else just stared in confusion until Chef explained. "My pony! It got eaten by a rabbit!"

As the large man broke down into a crying fit, Chris stepped over to him and patted him on the shoulder. "It's okay, big guy. I'm sure Betty lived a wonderful life."

As he comforted Chef, he looked at the others and circled his ear with a finger to indicate his true thoughts on the matter. Chef continued bawling. "But...b-but...I always wanted a pony! And now that I get one, it...WAAAAH!"

Still patting him on the shoulder, Chris looked over at Phil. "Hey, Phil? Can you take the crybaby out to the infirmary? I need to speak with these guys."

Grumbling something about not being a babysitter, Phil gently dragged the crying cook out of the throne room. As soon as the doors were closed, Chris cleared his throat. "Anyways...now you must travel to the moon to empower Enceladus!"

"What?" Bridgette demanded. "How are supposed to do that?"

Chris shrugged. "I don't know, Bridgette. Never done it myself. You're gonna have to figure it out yourselves."

"Do we have to?" Tyler asked. "I mean, it's the legendary sword! How much 'empowering' does it need?"

Chris chuckled a bit, much to the other's annoyance. "Does Enceladus look like a sword to you? I'd say it's closer to a giant purple toothpick than a sword right now. No, you must empower it to even have a shot at defeating Hea...Queen Bitch."

"Ha! I knew it!" Tyler shouted. "The evil queen is Heather!"

"You didn't even know there was an evil queen," Bridgette commented. Tyler put a finger over his lips and whispered, "Shh..."

"I didn't say that, Tyler," Chris added. Before either could remind that yes, he pretty much did tell them that, he said. "Look, I don't have a lot of time right now, and I won't be able to tell you this later."

"Why no-"

"Tut, tut, tut. Not now, Tyler." He grinned at the three irritated teens before him and briefly reflected upon the joy he got out of torturing them so on TDI. Good times. "Now, anyways...you must find your own way to the moon so the legendary sword can actually become...a sword. I don't know how, but I'm sure someone does. Supposedly—and please don't hold me this—there are three sages who know the secret to reaching the moon. Oh, and there's this hermit south of here that might know something. Other than that...good luck."

"Now, once you do that, you must head to the far east to the province of Discordia. Off the northeastern shore is the queen's floating castle. You'll need to enter the castle and destroy her once you've powered Enceladus. And then you win, and you can go home. Any questions?"

"Yeah...Geoff's kinda out of it," Bridgette said. "Can we wait until tomorrow to start?"

Chris looked slightly miffed. "All right, fine. You can rest in the inn. I'll check out a room for you. Anything else?"

Nothing. "All right, get going then. I still have some stuff to tell you, but I'll wait until tomorrow. The inn is right next to the pub."


Courtney was pacing in front of the inn with a scowl when they arrived. Bridgette smiled and called out, "'Sup, Courtney?"

The CIT was snapped out of her reverie by the greeting. She waved back. "Oh, nothing. Just...thinking. What happened to Geoff?"

"I...kinda dragged him through the town," Bridgette muttered, looking down at Geoff. His shirt was entirely torn off, his shorts were wrecked, and the copper breastplate was covered in dents. "He needs to rest tonight."

"I see. I'll take it you'll continue your little quest tomorrow."

"Yeah," Bridgette replied, noting with unease the glaring going on between Tyler and Courtney. She remembered that they had a bit of a conflict near the end of TDI. Nothing had been resolved since then, it seemed. Courtney cut off her glare and gave Geoff a professional-looking smile. "Well then. Perhaps you'd like a party manager? From the looks of things, you guys wound up pretty banged up from your first quest. I could help you with advice on item usage, tactics, what kind of equipment to bring...anything except actual combat. Furthermore-"

"You can come, Courtney," Bridgette sighed, more to end her friend's speech than anything. Tyler shot her a betrayed glare, but didn't protest further. The CIT replied, "Thank you for selecting me to be your party manager! I will do my best to-"

"Whatever," Tyler cut in as he entered the hotel. "Let's just go."

Courtney sputtered in indignant rage for a few seconds before following Geoff and Bridgette in. Tyler had already acquired a room key. He called out, "All right guys, second floor. Let's move!"

As they made their way up the wooden steps, Courtney complained under her breath. "Why is he always so enthusiastic? I mean, come on! We're just going to spend a night at an inn. There's no reason to be so happy about it. And who dresses like that? It's tacky and has no sense of professionalism. In fact, it's about the worst thing he could wear if he wanted a job...what the hell is this?"

Her screech was sudden enough to elicit a startled jump from Bridgette. She proceeded to trip over a table leg and smack her face against the wooden form of one of the room's four beds. Courtney wasn't paying any attention to her friend, though. She marched right up to Tyler's face and yelled, "You damn pervert! What's the idea with only having one room? I am not sleeping in the same room as you!"

"Just so you know, Chris paid for only one room. We don't have enough money for another, Miss I'm-A-CIT-So-I'm-Leader."

Courtney gasped. "Shut up, you talentless little...you..."

"What am I, huh?"

"Guys, stop it," Bridgette commanded, laying her worn-out man on one of the beds. "It'll be fine."

Throwing a harsh look at Bridgette, Courtney threw herself onto a bed. "Fine. It's just improper for us to all be sleeping in such proximity to each other."

"You're not fooling anyone," Tyler declared, leaning against his bed. "We all know that you'd be all for this if it meant snuggling up to Duncan."

"Shut up!"

"Guys..." Bridgette moaned, claiming the last bed for herself. "Let's just calm down and discuss our next move."

"Well, what is our next move? You guys haven't even told me what our objective is," Courtney reminded her. She was sitting cross-legged on her bed, still occasionally glancing at the athlete. Bridgette pulled Geoff's blanket over the now-sleeping party boy and said, "Well, apparently, we're supposed to take this sword to the moon to power it up or something so we can defeat this queen."

Courtney blinked. "That's impossible."

"I know, but Chris said that there were some sages we need to find."

"And," Tyler interjected, "there's supposed to be this hermit south of here. I say we go see him first."

Forgetting her resentment for the athlete, Courtney nodded. "I agree. It's the most logical place to start. What about you, Bridgette?"

She nodded and mostly disappeared beneath her own covers. "Yeah, sounds good."

"Well, it's decided," Tyler declared, stretching. "Night, all."

"Night, Tyler," Bridgette murmured, already falling asleep. From her bed, Courtney said, "OK, if I get up early enough tomorrow, I'll go get supplies for us."

No one voiced any complaints, and she joined them in sleep.


(Far away, in Castle Discordia...)

"Beth? Could you go ask my cook what's taking so long?"

The queen sat upon her throne, filing her nails. Before her stood Beth, who was nodding obediently. "Yeth, ma'am!

As the short farm girl speed away, the queen eyed her other handmaiden. "Lindsay, please go tell our new recruit to come up here. You can have the rest of the day off if you do that."

Lindsay yipped in joy. "Yay, I get a free day!"

"After you bring him up here. Forget, and you get to clean up after the slaves."

"I know, don't worry," Lindsay replied, striding away. "I won't forget."

Several minutes passed before a tall man made his way into the throne room. Falling onto one knee, he said, "Ah, Heather. How may I be of service?"

"Well," Heather said, mind lost in impure thoughts. "For starters, one of my servants claims that someone has claimed Enceladus. She's a bit...unstable, but she's usually reliable. I need you to gain their trust. If you can, kill the sages, too. They're making me nervous."

With a drawn-out bow, the man replied, "As you wish."


A/N: And so concludes the first proper arc of TDQ. Who is the hermit? Who is Heather's new henchman? Will Tyler and Courtney be able to refrain from killing each other? Some of that may be answered next time. Stay tuned! Er...keep reading. Whatever the term is...