Two days in, it started with a tingling sensation throughout my chest that made me think my body was rejecting the virus. The feeling was likened to a burning that didn't quite reach the skin while making me feel uncomfortable and it was after a few hours of persisting without feeling sick that I began to believe it to be proof of progress. I had to wonder what evolution felt like and if this internal itch had anything to do with it. I just hoped it wouldn't be the death of me.
By the fourth day, I was merely irritated as nothing new had occurred and nothing else gave me a notice of success or failure. At this point it looked like I was going to be living one way or the other, but some certainty would've been appreciated. The burn was really starting to get to me and I fidgeted under the influence of its sensation.
By the end of the week, I had given up hope. This new burning sensation in the core of my being was the only thing that resulted from the experiment. Even then, it had dimmed down to a mere ember that sat at the back of my mind. I exited my quarantine and with Brian clapping me on the back, I returned back to the land of the living.
I walked us straight to my office where I unlocked my locked cabinet and waved Brian to pick anything at his leisure.
"I don't know why it didn't work. I mean, what I'm feeling has to be either some sort of potential or I've managed to somehow damage something beyond my body. I keyed in the trigger though, I specifically knew I needed to key in the trigger to induce the evolution. What did I do wrong?"
Brian could only shrug as he passed me a whiskey. I didn't indulge in alcohol often, I didn't like what it did to my ability to think, but at the moment I needed the inebriation. I threw it back with a grimace then sat back in my chair with my head on my lap.
"Look at it this way, Roy. You're alive and you can still work at it because of it. You didn't lose your other leg and that's something to be proud of. You didn't fully know what this thing would've done to you and you came out of it all right."
"I know, I know.. But so much work only to result in some heartburn? I'm a bit defeated at the moment. I don't even know where to take the research from here because this was it, the sure bet, a bypass around genetic limitations.."
"Don't feel so down, you've done a lot of good for people and you can work on this as long as it takes. You'll get it, man. I have faith. You've done it before and you'll do it again."
I only wish I'd had the same surety as I threw back another drink.
Life went on. I'd had a bit of a hangover from the 'I'm still alive' party we'd thrown the night before but I wanted to let everyone know they didn't have to adjust to a new alpha. I'd returned to the aviary offices to find Joyce was sat in my chair going over some charts on the computer, so I knocked the doorway.
"Hey, guess who?"
The noise surprised her and she turned around at my voice to find me awkwardly standing. "Oh, Roy, you're back! Come in, come in, I tried to keep your desk tidy but it was already messy by the time I got here, you know." She laughed at that. I knew my organization wasn't picture perfect but at least I knew where everything was.
"Yep, I'm back. Thought I'd pop in and save you from my work. You're a dear for handling it all, I know how rough it can be."
"Oh no, no trouble at all. Was a pleasant change of pace to be honest, I was always curious to know what all you had to do to keep this place running and you seem to have most systems in place to work that out for you. Now spill, where did you go? You can't tell me you're going on a vacation and then give no details."
I was dreading this conversation. It felt too much like my young school days where I'd be reprimanded for climbing the trees against permission to be with the birds. Only this time it was less about broken bones and more about viral suicide. Maybe she'd take it alright?
"Yeah, about that." I took a seat in front of my desk and motioned her to sit. "Joyce, you've been a good friend to me for a long time. That's why you get to know this much. My vacation was a quarantine. I injected a retrovirus into my system in an attempt to allow a human evolution. It didn't work, but I'm alive. That's what matters, right?"
She was silent as I spoke but as soon as I'd finished my words caught up with her and I'd forgotten until then how loud she could be.
"You did what?! Roy Everhart, what in the hell do you mean you injected a retrovirus into yourself?! Are you insane?!"
"Now, to be fair, I have been called so before.."
"Don't you play cute with me! Of all the things to do, you went and tried to mess with your own genes?! Human evolution? Humans can't evolve!"
I winced. "I hate to say this, but that's where I have to say it's classified.. I left you as inheritor in my will in case anything happened to me."
"Will?! Classified?! You're not some sort of secret agent, Roy! You're just a crazy, inconsiderate ass who tried to kill himself under the guise of a vacation! Get out of this office!"
I stood and backpedaled as she advanced towards me. "But, Joyce, this is my office.."
"Out!"
I managed to make it out of the door just in time for it to slam against my back. That could have gone better. Who am I kidding, I'm grateful she didn't hit me. She has a wicked right hook.
With one meeting done for the day, I hoped at least, I gave the customary full council whistle and ascended to the meeting room at a leisurely pace. I needed time to think. What do you say after having made an announcement like I did and having nothing result from it? I guess I'd wing it. Oh, bad bird puns, I thought I was done with those..
The circle of birds were awaiting me as I'd entered the room, so I picked up my pace slightly to make it to the head of the table.
"Hey everyone. While what I tried didn't work out, I wanted to inform everyone that I'm still alive and here and I'll be retaking my duties as of today. I wanted to use this opportunity to ask you all about anything important having happened over the last half-moon and to inform you all that the Unovan flock should be arriving throughout the day and I hope you extend them a warm welcome."
The council meeting went on as planned. The starly line would be receiving higher nutritional food to make up for the feather loss and thankfully it was just a particularly strong seasonal change. The noctowls announced they had a nest with an egg and everyone cheered for the new life. Even the normally reclusive swellow was in high spirits with the conclusion of our meeting.
With everyone updated, I walked myself over to our rescue section and spent some time around the birds. Some were retirees, while some had untreatable injuries that left them with limited mobility, and I was always sure to check in on them at least once a week to personally verify they were being cared for. I accepted flocks as I could and at request, but rescues were entrusted to me by individuals and organizations and I wanted to make sure I was doing right by them.
Unova, however, took up much of the rest of my day. Between finishing touches with the landscaping department, a full electrical test off of the grid to check back-up generators, accepting the new birds as they flew in from the final section of their lengthy flight, I was feeling more and more worn and not even all the activity could keep my mind from wandering over my situation and what went wrong.
What went wrong? I wanted to say at least 'some'thing happened with how I felt that foreign burning throughout my body. The virus had to have worked, but I don't know what all it had done. I hadn't changed in any shape or form - believe me I double-checked everything after what I'd gone through in my first experiment - and there was nothing visible to show for it.
After situating the braviary and mandibuzz pair that'd flown in, I'd immediately retreated back to Pidgean territory in kJ and sought out my old friend to talk and take my mind off of things. She was already talking with a pair when I arrived at her stump, but she must've caught the mood I was in as she bid them a good night and waved me over.
"Good evening, Roy. I was glad to hear that you made it out safe, I was worried sick all those suns! I noticed you weren't speaking our tongue during the council. Is everything alright?"
No, everything was not all right. I didn't even know where to begin.
"It just didn't feel right to speak it today. I don't get to be one of you quite yet, if I ever do. I get to go back to things as usual.."
I gave myself a deprecating chuckle. "Joyce about killed me once I told her how I made her the beneficiary for all of my assets and that my vacation was actually a science experiment.."
My words began to trail off in volume until my composure finally fell and I dropped my head down and cried, the tears soaking into my jeans.
"Oh Stargazer.." She wrapped me in her wings and tenderly stroked down my back. "You don't have to act so strong around me.. It'll be alright.."
I felt warm, so warm I couldn't help but pour it out in my emotion.
"I don't know, Wind.. I don't know why it didn't work! Six years! I spent the last six years pouring my mind and heart out to be one of you! Why does it have to be so hard?! Why does it have to hurt so much to have to go back and try again?!" The last bit came out in a crooning screech. "Why didn't it WORK?!"
It was then that the burn that had become a part of me over the last week ignited, and I was engulfed in its flame.
