"We give him herpes, and they give him an award!"

Here's Chap 3. Enjoy!

****

"Have you seen Sirius Black this morning?!"

"I know! What on earth happened to his hair?"

"It looks like he's got some sort of disease."

"That wouldn't be surprising. He's probably picked something up off all those girls he's been with."

"I heard he's not even good at it though! So why do so many girls throw themselves at him?"

"Well he is insanely hot."

"Yeah. Like a Greek God."

Silvia had heard the twittering voices of girls and boys alike for the past few hours as she milled around between lessons. The news had spread like wildfire around the school. She waltzed happily to Herbology that morning eager to see Lily and discuss their success.

She arrived a little later than she anticipated, and had to squeeze through disgruntled Gryffindors to reach the red headed girl.

"Have you seen it?" She practically sung in Lily's ear.

The other girl smiled smugly, "You're welcome."

"Lily, that plan was genius! What is that Muggle product called again?"

"Its hair removal cream, it comes in loads of different brands."

"Excellent! I saw Sirius in the corridor earlier and he looked really awful!" She laughed happily. "His head was all patchy and I swear-"

The rest of what she said was cut off however, by a loud bang. The students turned towards the back wall as a group, staring at the four boys who now stood in the open doorway.

"Sorry we're late Professor." James Potter was grinning a wonky smile, his glasses slightly askew on his nose. "We were sorting out Sirius's little…ah… problem." At this he, Lupin and Pettigrew began stifling laughter while Black glared at them.

"Hurry up boys!" The old Professor snapped angrily.

Lily and Silvia both gawped at Sirius's head.

His head was full of luscious straight black hair.

Hair that they had attempted to remove for at least three weeks.

Silvia swore under her breath. "I don't believe it! That's so typical! We should have known he'd get it back somehow!"

"Well, now Mr Black has got a full head of hair again, will you kindly let me get on with the lesson? Today we will be exploring the properties of the Flimsy Tree root…"

Both angry with their failed plot, Silvia and Lily muttered to each other for the remainder of the class. Silvia formed a stick figure out of their Flimsy Tree root, and they used their dissecting knives to mime stabbing Sirius Black.

"So how did you get it to grow back?" A Slytherin girl hovered at James and Sirius's desk while they attempted to dissect their own root.

"It wasn't that hard. Someone had just slipped some muggle hair remover product into the shampoo." Sirius proclaimed loftily. Silvia grumbled moodily.

"It was pretty amateur stuff. Something we did in first year right?" James added.

"Yeah, poor Peter. He didn't let that go for ages." Sirius laughed.

Lily created another figure for Potter and stabbed it repeatedly. "I'll give him amateur!" She hissed through gritted teeth.

Silvia gave her a sympathetic smile. "We'll just have to think of something better next time."

"Next time?! Doesn't this prove it? We can't do anything meaningful! They know how to reverse or undo anything we try!"

"Come on Lily, don't give up! We'll think of something!" Siliva pleaded.

Lily was about to retort when that Slytherin girl's voice drifted over. "So, it wasn't like some disease or something? You don't have a… you know… problem?"

"WHAT?!" Sirius screeched over the loud laughter of James.

"Well, there have been all sorts of stories."

"No. No, I'm perfectly normal."

"Good, because I was wondering if…"

The rest of the girl's sentence was lost as Silvia nudged Lily in the ribs, hard. "See! Things are getting through! It's going to be slow work, but slowly we can demolish his reputation and he will no longer be so smug." She raised the knife with a fist, and brought it savagely down on the Root-Sirius.

Lily glanced at Silvia and saw a bright twinkle in her eyes. She was apparently enjoying the whole experience. And Lily? Well, she couldn't say that she disliked getting back at Sirius.

"Okay, I'm still in." She sighed.

"Excellent!" The bell rang and the students began to gather up their things. "If you see Cassie or Michelle, tell them to meet in the Library after dinner again tonight. We won't give up!"

Lily nodded and just as they disappeared out the door their stupid Professor yelled out, "Homework! I want ten uses of Flimsy Tree root for next lesson!"

Silvia groaned as she left the room, and waved quickly to Lily.

Her earlier happy mood had completely sizzled out, and she stared at the Black boy swaggering in front of her further up the corridor.

Still bitter from his earlier insults and cocky remarks, she hid her wand up her sleeve, pointed it at his bag and muttered, "Diffindo"

"Oh WHAT!!" She smiled as his bag ripped, making parchment, quills, and ink come spilling out of the hole.

"Sirius, you are having the worst day today." Remus laughed next to him. Silvia slowed her pace so she could watch the mad Black huff and try to stuff his belongings back into the broken bag.

"Moony, I actually am! First my hair, then everyone thinks I'm diseased and now this! Oh no, look! My ink bottle smashed all over the map!"

"Why on earth did you bring it out of the dorm!" Remus rushed over to help his friend, grabbing an old piece of parchment from the mess. He waved his wand over it and the stains dissolved. Silvia silently cursed the skilled boy; she had hoped some of his work would have been ruined.

"I don't like leaving it in there. And you never know, we might need it during the day."

They managed to successfully get the bag fixed together, but Silvia had been hit by another great idea. She muttered the same spell under her breath, and laughed loudly when Sirius swore again as his bag fell to pieces.

"You don't seem to be having much luck there do you boys?" She flung her hair over one shoulder, and bent down to 'help'.

"Oh, hey Silvia!" Remus said brightly.

She assumed that the old parchment that Remus had quickly gotten hold of last time was important. It was probably an essay of some sort, so Silvia decided to muster all her cunning and delve into a little pick pocketing.

"Hi Remus, Sirius." She nodded to each, and was sure to keep the bitterness out of her voice when she said Black's name.

"Thanks Silvia." Black gave her an exasperated smile when she passed him a sheaf of parchment along with a bottle of ink.

"Don't worry about it. Why don't you try not overloading your bag for once?" She stood up, and shared a smile with Remus.

"It's not even like his bag is stuffed with books though, what do you have in there Sirius?"

"Hardly anything! Stupid bag." He continued muttering to himself.

"Stuffed with Dung bombs right?" Silvia forced a laugh, remembering one of the tips in the book. Lull them into a false sense of security, in other words, do not arouse suspicion by acting like the scorned ex girlfriend.

"Probably!" Remus laughed with her. "Not exactly big on book carrying are you Black?"

Sirius just grunted moodily.

"Speaking of books… how's that light reading going?" Silvia asked the tall blonde boy.

"Pretty good." He grinned and winked knowingly at her. "I've found numerous spells on how to see in the dark and how to make my foot steps silent."

Silvia shook her head. "Amateur stuff." She tutted, echoing James's words from earlier. "Learnt that in my first year."

"Really?"

She smiled, "How else would I be able to get to the kitchen in the middle of the night? You guys aren't the only pranksters around you know. I think Sirius's hair this morning proves that."

He laughed, "You're right. What do you say Black, you up for some competition?"

Sirius, who was now trying to stick his bag together with his wand, said something unintelligible. Silvia looked questionably at Remus who just shrugged.

"Do you have any idea who did it?" She asked innocently.

"Nah, could be anyone, couldn't it? If half the school is pranksters like you say they are."

Sirius scoffed. "What other pranksters? It must have been some love potion gone horribly wrong."

"Love potion? Really?" She couldn't stop the words tumbling out of her mouth. His ego was just too massive!

But Sirius misunderstood her words, "Yeah, the levels some girls will stoop to are crazy." He straightened and shot her a smug smile.

She glowered at him, and grabbed the bag out of his hands. She muttered Repairo then shoved it back.

"Well hopefully more will backfire as dramatically as that. I better get to Runes. See you later Remus." She deliberately paused, "Sirius."

She turned and stalked down the corridor, trying to shake the feeling of Black getting under her skin and annoying her to the core. She'd like to see that smug smile wiped off his face once and for all. And that day would be coming soon because her, Lily, Cassie and Michelle.

She heard Sirius and Remus talking as she walked away, and even in hushed tones she still made out their words.

"How come you two are so friendly?" Sirius asked.

"We met once in a…"

Her stomach plummeted as she knew Remus would now be spilling all about her awful break down in the library. Then Sirius would but two and two together and…

"In a dark place." He finished.

"Moony! You sly dog!"

"Not like that Padfoot you perv!"

"Whatever you say…"

Their voices faded away and Silvia smiled lightly as she felt the parchment under her robes.

Little acts of Sabotage could go a long way.

****

Cassie was sat in Charms watching Sirius joke with James in front of her. She, too, had been rather angry about the turn of events involving his hair.

She absently tapped her quill against her cheek, causing her parchment to become covered in black ink drops. An idea quickly flitted across her mind, and she tore off a corner of the parchment.

"Girls. Let's make today the worst day of Blackmail's life. Staring now. Currently in Charms with the idiot. Expect lots of yelling and shouting from Flitwick's classroom. Cassie."

She tapped the note and muttered a spell she had learnt from Student Spells 101 which made the note vanish silently. It would appear in front of the three other girls where ever they may be.

Lily was the first to reply. "Is that such a good idea? Silvia said to meet in the Library after dinner."

Michelle's answer was short and simple, written in elegant curly writing. "Have fun!"

And finally Silvia, "Amazing idea! Don't listen to Lily. I know she'll have said something against it. I've already been annoying him in corridors with broken bags."

When Professor Flitwick's back was turned, she whipped out her wand, and silently managed to get Sirius's ink pot to spill over.

"Ahh! James you idiot! Watch it!"

A few minutes later their Professor had announced that they would be practicing moving objects around at top speed. Cassie had a hard time trying to prevent a wide grin sitting on her pretty face.

Needless to say, within five minutes Sirius had lumps forming all over his head. Every time he yelled or looked around suspiciously, Cassie would keep her wand in the air, and pretend to be controlling another inanimate object.

When a small rock found itself bouncing off Sirius's forehead he spun around, furious. His face was red and his eyes were surprisingly dark.

"Alright! Ha ha! It's all very funny! Jokes over everyone! STOP IT!"

Cassie flicked her wand under the desk, and Professor Flitwick's board rubber came flying towards him. It smashed into his face, then fell to the floor, leaving a large white chalk mark over his flushed skin.

"THAT'S IT! WHO IS IT?!"

"Sirius calm down!" James tugged at his sleeve.

"Mr Black! If you cannot control your temper you can come back tomorrow for detention!"

"I'm trying sir but someone keeps…" The board rubber rose back up and hit him in the face yet again.

"STOP IT!!!" He picked up the board rubber and waved it at the class threateningly. "I SWEAR IF I CATCH YOU I WILL FU-"

"Mr Black! Leave my classroom! I will NOT tolerate that behaviour!"

Cassie found it gratifying how his face became twisted and terribly unattractive when he was mad.

****

"Two part frog spawn, one part newt tongue! Just one Miss Love!" Slughorn tutted over Michelle's friend's caldron. Michelle was carefully chopping up her frog's liver, and praying that Slughorn would hurry up and leave their table. He eventually did, after peering into her own green bubbling mixture which did not resemble the book's description at all.

He had to leave however, because Sirius and James had decided to sabotage Severus's potion, which was now bubbling over uncontrollably. "ONE part newt tongue!" Slughorn bellowed as he bustled off.

Grasping the opportunity, she grabbed her quill and scribbled a note to Cassie. "I don't know what you did to him last lesson, but I'm with him in Potions now. He's in a foul mood and is taking it out on Severus Snape. I must congratulate you, he's even been snapping at James!! I'm going to cause a bit of mayhem myself now. I'll tell you about it later."

She tapped it with her wand hurriedly, as Slughorn returned to her desk.

"Now, Miss Parker, I think you perhaps added the tongue in too late. Let's see if this will work…"

All the while Slughorn pestered her, Michelle mulled over her plan. Finally he left and she turned to her friend Marina Love.

"Hey Marina, you'll never guess what I heard!"

"What?"

"I know for a fact that Sirius told Janie who told Melissa who told Katie who told me," she paused for breath, "That he has been thinking about asking you to go out with him on the next Hogsmeade trip!"

The girl, as expected, flushed a bright pink. "Really?"

"Yes!" No Michelle thought. But if you threw some random figures or names at the stupid girl she would believe anything.

"Should I go talk to him?"

"Yes!"

"Okay!"

The girl walked over and quickly engaged Sirius in a conversation. Michelle made sure Slughorn was busy with other student and then she wandered over to Snape's desk.

"Hi Severus." He jumped at her voice.

"Michelle. What do you want?" He was to the point, no messing around.

"I've been watching what Sirius has been doing to you this lesson. It hasn't been very nice at all. And seeing as you are amazing at Potions I was wondering if you could help me get a little revenge."

She wasn't surprised to see Snape nod his head. Everyone knew about the rivalry between him and the four boys, or more precisely, him and Potter. Sirius just liked to add to the fun.

"What are you after?"

Michelle smiled and leaned on his desk. "Maybe something to get his caldron to explode in his face… make his fingers fall off… something that isn't easily removed or reversed."

Snape narrowed his eyes. "Why do you want to do this? I thought all the girls adore him?"

"Not all of us." She snapped. "Now will you help me or not?"

Although he was still suspicious, Snape grabbed a handful of what looked like black pebbles from his bag.

"Drop three of these in. Leave it five minutes, and then drop in the fourth. After you've done that you better run."

She took the pebbles and grinned. "Thanks Severus. Enjoy the fireworks."

Michelle went over to the desk that Marina and Sirius were talking at. Behind his head she winked at her friend, and gestured that they go over into a quiet corner. Even though the girl was gullible, she was quick to pick up on hints.

As she led Sirius away, Michelle watched James add random things into his own caldron.

"James, you know you just put cat eye in that right? And this is essence of… cabbage not cariole." She laughed.

James raked a hand through messy black hair. He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "I'm so shattered I seriously have no idea what I'm doing anymore."

Michelle could sympathise with that. "I've given up on mine. Slughorn came and fixed it, so I'm not touching it. I know anything I do will just make it worse."

She took the time while he was distracted, his vision impaired from no glasses, to slip the three black pebbles into Sirius's mixture. She carried on talking to him for a while, and together they attempted to salvage what was left of his potion to make it relatively normal.

She saw Marina walk away from Sirius out of the corner of her eye. He was coming towards them, so Michelle slipped the last pebble in while pretending to pick up James's essence of cabbage.

"I can't believe you put this in! Anyway, I better get back to my own potion. Good luck!" And she sped away to the safety of her own desk.

Michelle glanced over at Snape, who was hiding a smirk. Sirius said something to James, and picked up his wooden spoon to stir the contents. The Hufflepuff held her breath.

As soon as his spoon touched the liquid, a loud POP echoed around the room. Then a blue mist crept up out of his caldron, and suddenly engulfed the startled boy. His eyes widened, and he began to cough. The blue mist thickened and turned into a hazy fog that seemed to cling to Sirius's skin.

"BLACK!" Slughorn bellowed, racing over to the poor boy's desk. "WHY ON EARTH DID YOU PUT BLUEBON BEANS IN YOUR POTION?!"

Sirius could not answer, he was coughing too hard.

Slughorn waved his wand a few times, and the blue mist evaporated.

But dear Sirius's skin was no longer a nice flesh colour.

Spluttered giggles broke out across the room, which then turned into loud laughter, which transformed into a room full of howling students.

"What! What's happened!" Sirius asked frantically.

"Padfoot," James managed to gasp out, "Mate, you're BLUE!"

And he gave into a helpless fit of laughter.

****

Que the bad jokes of 'Sirius BLUE'

Go on then, make me dance and be the first to review! :)