Four months, four months since Will got back, since the Demogorgon was destroyed, since she disappeared. Mike didn't know what to do with himself, he wanted to go to look for her, but he didn't know where she would be. He wanted to go to Hawkins lab, but it was too dangerous to go alone, and he didn't feel like searching with anyone else. He knew, that if he didn't find her, he couldn't live with himself, 'It's all your fault, you yelled at her, you didn't find her.'. But, he remembered the hands, in the wooden box, what if they were El's.

His nightmares were getting more real, every other night he was getting a nightmare where he found El in the upside down, dead. The other nights he just couldn't find her in the first place. He hated the daytime, because that's when he would have time to think, to be miserable because he hadn't found her. He also hated the nighttime, that's when he had time to dream, to have nightmares, to lose her all over again.

He was sleeping in his room, tossing, turning, It was that dream, when she would just turn up dead.

"Mike, Mike?" Said Nancy who came into his room

He woke up, crying.

"It, it was her again, dead."

"I know, I know."

"I could've saved her, if I just found her." He said, crying a little more this time

"It's ok, it's ok, it wasn't actually her, it was a dream."

"But, what if it isn't, what if that's actually what happened to her."

"You're just worried."

"Ok."

"Just, try to get some sleep."

"Ok."

He couldn't, knowing that it was a dream wasn't a comfort, he still felt like she was dying, somewhere.

She could barely walk, the upside down was taking it's toll on her. She went up to Mike's room most of the time now, it felt warmer. The wooden box with food, it felt like a longer distance every day. She only had a month to live, her power was close to non existent. She wanted to talk to Mike, but she couldn't.

Her days were basically the same, wake up, sit in the house for a few hours, of course, there was no way of tracking time, so she would guess, go to the wooden box, grab food, get back to the house. She had been repeating this schedule for months, everyday it taking longer.

Then, one day, she didn't know how, but she could see the normal world, she could see Mike, sleeping, he was tossing and turning, he looked miserable. He woke up, he looked worse, like all of the life she cherished was drained out of his eyes.

"Mike?"

"El?"

"Mike! Help!"

She tried to get through the portal in front of her eyes but it was as solid as a wall

"El! El where are you?"

He looked around, he instantly knew where she was, she was in the upside down, his heart sank.

"Upside down."

The portal started closing

"Mike!"

"Don't worry! I'll save you."

The portal closed, and Mike woke up.

He screamed

"El! El!"

This dream was worse, worse than his dream of her dead, this one felt real, this one was of her in the upside down, a place where he knew he couldn't get to. Hawkin's lab was closed, but the security measures were still the same, having a portal to another dimension in your basement makes you want to make sure nothing goes in it, and nothing comes out of it. But the real problem was, is that he knew he didn't know where the line was between fiction, and reality, and if he went in the upside down, and she wasn't there, he wasn't sure what was.