"I heard there was a drill at the mines today," Delly asks carefully, not looking at me from her place across the table. We're sitting down to dinner but I'm not hungry for the little bit of roots that she's pulled out of the vegetable cellar.

"Yes, just an alarm," I respond solemnly, pushing the food around my plate. The silence drags on for a moment, so quiet that one could hear a pin drop.

"Must you go back there? Is there not other work that you could be doing?" Her voice is so desperate and shrill that it grates on my nerves, making my fist clench and my eyes shut tight. I just want some quiet. I'm just so angry.

"Have you found a job yet?" I bark, catching her off guard with my tone. Her eyes shoot to mine as though I've just slapped her.

"It is not my job to support this family!" She cries out and I see the grand show of tears and sobs building up within her. Oh Delly, such wild dramatics.

"There is no other work for men. Not that pays enough to support us both," I snap and force some food down my throat. It's not cooked fully and I can't help but think that perhaps I'll have to start doing the cooking too.

"But it's not safe!" She screeches and I've had enough. Slamming my fist onto the table, I look up from my plate and stare.

"What would you have us do? Starve? Is that what you want? I can't support us both on any other job. If you want to get a job, get one. But don't try to convince me that what I do is unsafe! I know it is – I'm the one who lost a friend down there!" I'm nearly shouting now, surprising myself with my burst of anger. Apparently I've surprised her too as she sits slack jawed, staring at me from across the table.

"Get out," She hisses sharply, setting her fork and knife down with such care. I cock my eyebrow at her, questioning what's happening. "Don't you ever raise your voice to me like your mother! Get out!" She screams it this time, standing and placing her hands on her hips.

Lifting myself from the table, I don't hesitate to push aside my chair and bolt from the room. I'm through the kitchen and out the door before she can call me back. Halfway through town, I'm not even sure where I'm going until I'm standing at Katniss' door, lifting my hand in the air as though to knock.

That's when I falter, stepping back as I realize that this is likely the last place in the District I should be.

I don't have time to escape though when Prim opens the door and bumps into me, yelping at the sudden contact and jumping back through the door. She drops her keys and slips on to her butt, sprawling out on the front entrance floor.

"I am so sorry – please, let me help!" I gasp and reach for her hand, making to pull her off the ground. I don't expect the giggles or the gut wrenching laughter that comes from deep within her. It's infectious and uplifting and I just never want her to stop.

"You just –" She gasps in between words, rolling onto her side and laughing some more. "You surprised me!"

We're both standing in the doorway now, sharing a laugh.

"I'm sorry! I just..." I pause, looking out into the street and hesitating on my next words. What was I doing here? I had no right to be here – not at this time of day and especially not... now. Or ever. "I think I best be going," I continue and step down off the porch. I'm halfway to the street when Prim calls me back and offers me a cup of tea.

"Perhaps just for a little while," I mutter and take her up on her offer, stepping into the warm house and following her down to the kitchen. Looking around this time, I see that she's made some improvements to the space, tidying the organization and adding a small bowl of flowers to the table.

"What really brings you here?" Prim asks after a while, looking up at me carefully over her now-cooled tea.

"Gale... Delly and I were having some problems. And on that last day he offered me refuge in the guest room. I guess..." I swallow the lump in my throat as I remember just how foolish this whole thing was. "She asked me to leave tonight and this was the first place I could think to go," I finish in a rush and look away from the kind eyes before me.

"You're always welcome here. Katniss would agree."

I see Prim shrug out of the corner of my eye and I feel a little bit of guilt creep in. Here I am, hiding out from my wife-to-be in my dead best friend's kitchen with his sister-in-law who's here to look after his mourning widow who, by the way, has featured in one too many of my thoughts since I was five. There's no place in hell for what I've become.

"I think I should go," I mumble, realizing that this was likely a mistake. Katniss doesn't need the burden of my troubles, not now. Standing up quickly I carry my mug over to the sink and dump it out, rinsing it in the cool water and then turning from the sink towards the front door. I'm caught off guard in my haste by Katniss who's staring at us, chalk white and still in the doorframe of the kitchen. Prim is standing carefully by the table, watching her sister as though she's a cat that might bolt at any minute.

"You're out of bed," Prim coos, setting down her glass and smiling brightly. My body tenses up as I look between the two girls, unwilling to intervene in the moment.

"I came to... Why are you here again?" Katniss asks, her voice still sounding rough around the edges. I can tell that my mouth is moving to give a response, but no words come out. Her shocked look quickly turns to a scowl, and I'm reminded of all the times I smiled at her in school only to have her scowl in return.

There's still some Katniss left in her, just underneath the sadness.

"Peeta Mellark – tell me why you're in my house or get out!" She yells when the silence carries on. Her fingers grip the doorframe and turn her knuckles white as she watches me, loitering in her kitchen. I never should have come here.

"He came for some tea, Katniss," Prim interrupts when I still don't have any words. I nod my head quickly, prepared to agree with any excuse that she has so as to keep the situation under control. I regret coming here even more now – I never should have barged into a dead man's house and assumed his promises still lived.

"I should go," I mutter quietly, stepping briskly towards the door and brushing past Katniss on my way. Her skin is cold to the touch as my arm grazes hers, and I almost stop to pull her into a hug to try to warm her up. But I don't. I can't.

Nobody says another word as I slip on my boots and head back out onto the street, closing the door quietly behind me.

I was a fool to come here. I was a fool to leave. Delly was at home and my promises were to her – I'd made those promises and now I had to keep them. Mellark's never go back on their word. It didn't matter that I needed more from her, and it certainly didn't matter that bad omens were already screaming at us that this wasn't going to work.

I had to make it work. That was the promise I made. Like my father had made to my mother when he settled for her.

"Dammit," I curse under my breath, kicking the dust as I walk down the solemn road. I'm halfway out of the Seam when I hear the light fall of boots running up behind me, chasing me down.

"Peeta!"

I stop mid-stride, confusion worming its way through me as Katniss calls out from behind me. Slowly turning, my head cocked, I stare at her and her disheveled form. Her hair is still amuck and her boots are untied, though neither distracts me from the flush on her cheeks and the sad look in her eyes.

"Why did you come?" There was about ten feet between us as she gasped out the words, resting her hands on her hips. I turn over the question in my mind – why had I come? Gale had offered, sure, that was a reasonable excuse. But somewhere inside of me knew I'd come because she would understand – Katniss was the only one who would understand that I could talk to. I couldn't withhold the truth anymore.

"You, I think."

When she frowns at my words, I nearly turn and keep walking. The look on her face was enough to have me wishing I could take it all back. Wishing I'd realized that this was the wrong way to feel about your best friend's wife.

Turning on my heel, I continue my long walk home, leaving her to her stunned silence.

"I'm pregnant."

The words whip past my ears and stop me dead in my tracks. My chest tightens and I swear to god I think my heart will beat out of my rib cage. In another second, I'm pulling her to my chest and burying my face in her neck, holding her tightly as though there is no tomorrow.

She has Gale's baby inside of her.

I should have saved him.

"Oh, Katniss," I whisper into her skin, my fingers nearly bruising the soft flesh of her back as I clutch to her desperately. I feel the heavy sobs wrack through her body as she collapses in my embrace. Gently, carefully, I lower us down onto the dry earth and rock her against me.

In that moment, I make a silent promise to be there for her. To help her with this child as much as she'll allow. She doesn't have to face this alone – not for one minute.


We'd sat in silence for a long time, migrating to the meadow when the openness of the street was no longer comfortable. When she'd finally started talking, it had been a near flood of words while we sat side by side, hands in our laps and barely acknowledging each other.

I think it was easier that way for her. She could voice her fears about having children, about starving to death, about being alone, without having to actually face judgement for them.

She talked about Gale - though I don't think I was truly ready to hear it. I'd listened anyways as she talked about the future they'd planned – how Gale had wanted a family, had wanted to move them out of the District and into the woods to live a better life. How the whole future he'd wanted had been something that terrified her.

"I never wanted kids," she finished. I watched her out of the corner of my eye as she looked off into the distance to where the mine hid behind the tree line. Her lips were tight, and she was on the edge of tears again, barely holding on.

"Do you want them now?" I wasn't sure if it was my place to ask. I didn't really have a place, I guess, in retrospect. But she had options. She had to know she did, especially in the face of the drought and the lack of income.

It was silent for a long time as she thought it over. I hadn't realized that I was holding my breath until she finally spoke.

"I want this one." I nodded, acknowledging her choice.

This was something I understood. I'd watched Katniss enough to know that she and Gale had had something real despite her reservations. It was more than just a comfort that they'd fallen in to. She'd gone willingly, marrying her best friend and loving him truly. They'd been friends and lovers, much more than what the Seam had rumored them to be. And now her friend was gone. And mine was gone too. And all we had left of him was growing in her belly.

"I'll help you," I stated carefully. I stared at her hand that was so close to mine, wanting desperately to hold onto it for dear life. She shook her head and moved to stand with me following close behind.

"I couldn't ask that of you."

"You don't need to. Gale... He was my friend. And you've got a piece of him, and I want to be there for you and for that child – I want to be in your life," My voice was rising slightly, almost recklessly, as she stared me down with a frown.

"You have Delly. There's no way you can take care of me and a baby and Delly on a miner's wage." She shook her head, stepping back and away from me. I didn't want her to go.

"Wait," I urged, reaching out and grabbing her wrist lightly in mine. She met my eyes reluctantly and the tears were back. "Katniss, I'm here. I'm going to help you even if you don't want it. I'll find a way – we'll make this work together."

"Stop dreaming, Peeta!" she shouted, interrupting my plea. "This isn't how this goes. You don't have a blood debt to me. Gale died, it wasn't your fault. Don't try to make up for something you couldn't stop." Shaking her hand free, she took another step backwards, watching me carefully as her words stung. "Gale and I..." She paused and I watched as the flurry of emotions passed over her. "We had a deal. We'd support each other – no matter what. We'd support our families without charity. He understood that. He wouldn't want your charity, Peeta!"

"Maybe I want to help you, Katniss," I whispered and instantly I regretted it. It was too many cards to show – It was not my place. The words were out and hung in the air like a crackle of electricity, smouldering between us as she stared me down.

The resulting slap across my cheek surprised me and knocked me to the side. Reaching my hand to my face, I didn't bother to look up at her, too ashamed at my own behaviour.

"You have Delly to think about. Go home, Peeta."

I watched her feet stomp out of my vision as the beat of my heart slowed and my chest tightened. I'd said too much. I'd betrayed every promise I'd made.

She still loved him and there was no getting between that – even if I wanted to.

I'm not sure how much longer I waited in the meadow before finally heading home and finding the bakery dark. Upstairs, in the living quarters, it wasn't much better. Delly was already asleep in the bed, curled up in all of the blankets that my parents had left behind for us. Carefully, quietly, I changed into my night clothes and slipped onto the mattress, curling up and tugging lightly at one of the blankets.

"Why did you come home?" Her voice creaks from beside me, and I realize that she was awake the whole time. I don't bother to reply, knowing any answer I give is doomed from the start.

Sleep can't come fast enough.


AN: Thank you to emarina for her great thoughts on the depths of the story - hopefully I can string ideas along right so as not to disappoint. I hope you all enjoy and thank you all for the reviews so far!