My Shin-chan

To my lovely aschidnosekai, if you've noticed in some of my other stories, I don't dabble on the horoscope obsession of Shin-chan. The reason for it is that I know so little of horoscopes that if I try to write something about them, it would come out as completely fake, and I don't really want it to go that way. But, thanks for pointing it out. And thank you for always leaving reviews in my stories. The effort and time you put in to type those encouraging words really touch me on levels I cannot encompass into words.

Same as with others who appreciate my efforts. Thank you so much! Love you guys.

Xoxoxoxoxoxo

Takao wanted to snap out of his irritation. But it seemed that he couldn't. In the first place, he wasn't too sure what was actually causing it. Or rather, who.

But for the love of him, there was only one person in the world who stuck to him like glue these days and it wasn't even funny anymore. Takao knew for sure there was no one else who could annoy him this much save for that overgrown child.

First it was the long hot stares Midorima, that abnormally oversized smart ass kept on giving him when they were alone on his Living Room on most nights. More often than not, Takao would stare back at the child, asking if there was anything wrong and why the boy simply watched him, his clear green eyes gleaming with such intensity that Takao couldn't seem to fathom. In the past Midorima would simply shrug and look away.

But lately, whenever Takao reprimanded him for staring, Midorima would simply smirk in that annoyingly cryptic way of his that Takao couldn't also fathom. He wished the child would just say outright what he wanted, or if heeded to ask anything.

Tonight, he was doing it again. The unnerving part of it was that Takao's face was not hidden behind his laptop as he was done with all his reports. He felt even more exposed. This night would solely be devoted to watching TV with his young neighbor. Funny. In all these years, Takao stopped thinking of him and the Midorimas as neighbors. Especially Shin-chan. The boy was practically almost living in Takao's apartment. And though fifteen years of age separated them, whenever Midorima spoke like an adult Takao actually felt younger than the giant.

Now, he and Shin-chan sat on opposite sides of the sofa, while Shin-chan flipped channels.

Takao groaned. "Will you quit that? It's making me dizzy."

Midorima shrugged. "Then don't look."

Exasperated, Takao inquired, "What is it exactly that you want to watch?"

"Nothing," replied the boy, his tone bored.

Takao had to snort. "Okay. So what are you doing in here, dumbass? Get your butt out of my living room and go home."

Midorima arched an eyebrow, then tossed the remote in Takao's lap. "Fine. You go look for anything decent to watch."

Sighing, Takao took the gadget and began flipping through channels himself. Since he was a fan of morning papers, he thought watching the news was a little old. News was rehashed every chance the media got. Time to turn to dramas. But Takao wasn't fond of them either. He continued punching the buttons on the black remote, his gaze fixed on the TV.

That was when he felt it, more than saw, the heated look Midorima was once again sending his way. Takao glanced at the green eyed young man to confirm his suspicion. Yep. He was definitely watching Takao unabashedly as the smaller man surfed through channels.

The black haired man fidgeted on his seat, feeling more and more irritable as each second passed by. Finally he decided no one should make him feel this uncomfortable in his own home. Without further ado, he turned to the massive kid sitting on the other edge of the sofa. Takao even pointed the remote at him. "Okay, spill. What do you want?"

Midorimas stormy eyes did not waver from staring at Takao's face, as if memorizing every detail. "Hm?"

"I told you a hundred times before to stop – stop staring. If you need something from me then just say it. Can I help you with anything?"

Takao thought the kid would request something like food or maybe even borrow money. What he was not prepared for was the personal question. "The person that you were crying over. Why did you break up?"

Midorima purposely used the word person as it was sexless, therefore unbiased. It was a very private topic, he knew, but Shin-chan wanted to know the specifics for a lot of reasons.

Takao was completely taken aback by the question, though he recovered quickly. The business with Takeru had happened more or less six months ago. And although Takao could still feel sting of his ex lover's betrayal, it didn't hurt anymore as it used to. Besides, Takeru was living far away from this place now. They were both free to move on and look for new boyfriends. Not that Takeru ever could openly since no one in his family knew of his real orientation.

But going back to the question at hand, Takao simply shrugged. "That person cheated on me."

In a maddeningly cool voice Midorima answered, "I see." As if he understood everything. He was fourteen for crying out loud. He probably hadn't experienced how to have a crush on a girl yet.

"Are you going out with anybody right now?" Midorima pressed on.

Takao made a face at the boy, completely baffled. "And why are you asking all these questions?"

"Maybe so I can get out of the way when you decide to bring friends over," Midorima replied snidely.

Takao flinched. Something about the way he said the word 'friend' brought on a memory of Takeru. Midorima had seen him once and Takao had labeled him off as that – a friend. Surely, Shin-chan didn't mean anything else by that. Horrified, Takao thought he couldn't have been that obvious. Besides, aside from that one visit from Takeru a few years back, Takao had not really brought home any other men in this apartment.

Except for Shin-chan of course. But that didn't count. He had known Shin-chan since he was a kid. They were practically like father and son.

Errr… Takao had to think back on the analogy. Maybe it was a bit too much, but suffice to say that he treated the surly boy as family, even his mother.

"Shin-chan, what is it really? Do you need anything from me that you're too embarrassed to ask? C'mon, try me." Takao reclined on his seat, turning to the boy.

Midorima bit his lower lip, his brows furrowed in concentration. He was looking at Takao's chin this time. Takao thought it was rather cute when Shin-chan looked so serious like this.

After a moment Shin-chan replied, his voice low. "It's my fifteenth birthday next week."

"Oh yeah, right!" Takao almost jumped, his eyes wide. "How do you want to celebrate? Are you inviting your classmates over? We can ask the landlady if we can cook out."

Midorima simply shook his head. The heat was back in his eyes. His eyes burned so bright, and they were directed at Takao that the older man thought he would be seared by the intensity in them.

"Shin-chan –"

Takao was going to give out another suggestion when Midorima blurted out in that no-nonsense voice of his, a timbre too low than usual. "Let's go out."

Takao was sure he had heard wrong so he asked, "I'm sorry?"

"Go out with me," Midorima repeated forcefully, a catch in his voice. His eyes were stormy.

Takao had to lean back, not expecting the request, or rather, knowing Midorima, the demand. In all the years that they had been neighbors, Takao had never gone out with Shin-chan or Kazumi, even as to the nearest park. They all had their business to attend to, mainly work and school. And besides, there was no point in going out. They were neighbors, and friends, yes and they spent a great deal hanging out in each other's company already.

Takao still wasn't sure what the kid meant. "Go out? Like to the mall? Oh – you wanna eat out? Sure, we'll bring Kazumi and her – "

"Takao." This time, there was a soft growl in Midorima's voice. "Let me do this again: Go out with me. Just the two of us."

Takao frowned. "Well – okay… Where would you want to go? We could go to the amusement park."

Midorima snorted, cocked his head to the side and closed his eyes. He appeared to be silently counting. Takao was getting even more confused. Shin-chan couldn't help but lean closer as he opened his eyes. He pinned Takao with a smoldering look. "I'm not thinking about the amusement park."

"So where do you want to go?" Takao asked, frustrated.

This time, Shin-chan bridged the distance between them. He had to. Takao was not taking him seriously. What he did was grab Takao's slightly shaking hand and squeezed tight, making the smaller man jump in his seat. Eye to eye, Midorima hissed out every single word between his gritted teeth. "Somewhere where we can be alone."

At that moment Takao felt like a bucket of ice cold water was splashed on his face. He couldn't be thinking what he could be thinking right now, could he? Maybe he was mistaken. He was horrified to think that the first thing that came into his mind was something as obscene as a – a – date!

But the way Shin-chan was looking at him right now.

Takao wanted to crawl out of his skin.

He realized it was the same kind of look men like him had given him in the past whenever they flirted, or worse, before they took him to bed.

Shocked beyond words, he scrambled away from the sofa, away from the teen.

He moved on the side, standing so far away from the boy, looking like he had just seen a ghost. And the worst part of it was that Shin-chan didn't seem to even be perturbed by Takao's reaction as if – as if he was expecting this very same response.

"Listen, Shin-chan…" Damn, it was horribly awkward. Maybe he had just imagined things. There was definitely no way as in noooo way that a child like Shin-chan was coming onto him. But still, this conversation had to be the weirdest that they had ever had in the span of five years that they knew each other.

Takao tried again, "Uhh – listen kid, I'll speak to your mom about our plans for your birthday. We can – uhhh – prolly cook like last year…" Was he stuttering? It was pathetic.

Midorima rose to his full height. Takao knew he was over six feet now. He just impossibly grew taller every single day!

"Takao – "

The older man held out an arm. "Kid, you stay right there, okay? Stay right there."

Midorima gritted his teeth in anger. "I am not a kid anymore! I'm even big enough to toss you over my shoulder!" He was so mad he knew he was losing grip with what he was saying. "Don't you realize how I can easily pin you down to this cold floor and that you can't do anything about it?"

Takao had to gape. His mouth hung open he felt his jaw wanting to hit the floor. "Pin me to the - Shin-chan, is this your idea of a bad joke? Because believe me I am not laughing!"

"Does it look like I am? What? Does it kill you to admit to me that you prefer men over women? I do, too and I think we should go out."

There. It was out in the open.

Midorima's words shook with finality, as if they were a decree passed in court.

"I can't believe this!" Takao exclaimed, running a hand over his face. "I swear it has never dawned on me. Shin-chan, you're – gay?"

The angry teen stared him down, his eyes bright with challenge. "Aren't you one, too? Shouldn't you have known in the first place?"

Takao knew he had to sit or else his knees would give out. Never in a million years did he suspect that a strong, gruff masculine boy like Shin-chan could have the kind of preference that he himself had. It was a bit too much to take in.

Instead he reached out and leaned on the armrest of the sofa, to keep himself upright. "I swear, Shin-chan… I swear I've never noticed. And – And even if I had, there is no way in hell that I would go out with you!"

Midorima glared at the smaller man, his fists clenched on his side. "Why!? Because I'm just a kid!?"

Takao looked up at him as if he had grown three heads. "Would you listen to yourself? I practically saw you grow up! In my mind no matter how big you get you'll always be that tiny reed thin boy five years ago who loved coming over for snacks!"

Midorima demanded, "Then stop thinking of me that way. That was five years ago. I'll be fifteen next week. In a few years I will be eighteen, nineteen, twenty and none of this would even matter!"

"It matters to me!" Takao shot back, truly getting angry. "You fucking expect me to go out with you, hook up with you like it's the most normal thing in the world? I'm like a second parent to you, next to your Mom!"

"You're not my parent!"

"I feel like I am! Shin-chan, jeeeze, don't ask me to be some sort of a sick pedophile who can't keep my dick in my pants because there's no way I'll do what you want me to do. Especially for you. All these years I've treated you like my own son. Hell, you might as well be young enough to be my son – "

"Stupid, we're only fifteen years apart!" Shin-chan lashed out.

"Even so! Fuck, Shin-chan! What would your Mom say? She'll think I've corrupted you…"

"She has nothing to do with this. I want you. I have wanted you for a long time!"

Now, that was indeed a revelation. Takao was so shocked he wasn't able to form a comeback to that. He simply stared dumbfounded at the green eyed disaster waiting to happen.

"I've wanted you since I was twelve," Midorima confessed boldly, unabashedly. Daring Takao to look him in the eye.

Takao shook his head. A shudder passed through him.

Midorima took a step towards him.

Takao bristled and stood straight. He pointed to the door. "Get out of my house."

"Don't be stupid."

"I said, get out. And I don't want you to come over anymore. This stops now. Today. I've never hidden my sexuality before, though I have never felt the need to broadcast it either. If your Mom had asked in the past I wouldn't have lied. But she didn't so I said nothing. However I am not willing to hook up with her son who's still a child just because we share the same orientation. Get out Shin-chan and don't come back. I don't want your Mom or the other neighbors to disrespect me."

Midorima's cheeks were burning red from anger but underneath it lay his pain at the rejection. "Doesn't it even matter to you what I want?"

"Not when you think of me as your sexual experiment – "

"I do not think of you as an experiment. I love –"

"Damn it, Shin-chan! Would you fucking stop it!? I saw you grow up! Right before my eyes!"

"No, you didn't!" Shin-chan spat venomously. "We hardly saw each other because you were always busy. And I know – I know you've been with other men. That friend that you brought over. He had been your lover, right? Was he the one you broke up with? Was he the reason you were crying –"

"Shin-chan, I'll ask this of you very nicely, please get out of my house."

"You pathetic coward."

"Me? Coward? Kid, your head is far too buried in the clouds to realize what you want to happen not only is sick, it would make me look horrible to other people. People who matter. People whose respect I don't want to lose. I'm afraid I'm not prepared to have that. Even for you."

Midorima shot him one last withering look and was out the door the next heartbeat. Leaving Takao shaken, not knowing how all this happened.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

There was no party orchestrated for Midorima's birthday. In fact, the boy never got out of the house much. He spent almost all his hours in school and in basketball practice, coming home late only to go straight to bed. If Kazumi noticed anything different, she did not ask Shin-chan about it. Her son was a wonderful boy. If he had something going in his mind, she did not want to impose that he tell her.

Kazumi also noticed that not once, in the span of few weeks that passed had Midorima made any effort to hang out with Takao next door. All the more, Takao stopped coming by to visit, even on weekends when in the past he would go out of his way to make small chit chats with her.

One evening when it was her night off, she cooked extra for Takao. She knocked on Takao's door, knowing he was home.

It took a long while before Takao opened the door, and when he did he looked anxious about something. Of course Takao had looked into his peephole to know who came knocking and when he found Kazumi there became suddenly nervous. He hoped the woman wouldn't notice anything amiss.

"Uhh – Kazumi… What can I do for you?"

"I made dinner for three. Come over and eat with us," she said cheerily.

Takao's heart sank, panic setting in. He glanced around. "I – I already had dinner."

"Oh. It's okay. I also made dessert."

"I – uhhh – I actually can't go out of the house right now."

Kazumi looked worried. "Oh. I'm sorry, is it a bad time?"

"Kind of. I have company, you see."

She nodded, understanding. "Forgive me for intruding."

"No, that's alright. Thanks for offering."

"Okay. I'm gonna get back now."

"Thanks, Kazumi." Takao closed the door, sighing in relief.

There was no way in hell he was setting his foot in that house ever again and give Shin-chan ideas. Goodness knew how aggressive that child already was.

Takao sat back down on the sofa, bone weary, not only from working too much, but also from trying to figure out ways on how to completely avoid the MIdorimas. He knew he couldn't give excuses all the time whenever Kazumi would want to seek him out.

Takao sighed into his hand. It had already been roughly three weeks since Shin-chan confessed to him. Until now, Takao's mind was still reeling from what he learned. To be quite honest, ever since that day, he couldn't get Shin-chan out of his head.

A young strapping boy like that.

Takao shivered.

He had to be honest with himself. It wasn't like he couldn't imagine himself having a good tumble in the sheets with that boy. In fact, since that day that Midorima told him he had been wanting him for a long time, Takao began having erotic dreams of the boy at some nights, and sometimes he would wake up in the middle of the night with a raging hard on.

Whenever he jerked off it was easily Midorima who came into his mind, he and his broad shoulders, his big hands, and especially his deep deep green eyes. Imagining those eyes alone could bring Takao over the edge in no time.

Afterward he would feel guilty as hell, picturing his very young neighbor as he jacked off. The weird thing was, before Midorima confessed he was gay, too, Takao had never thought of him that way.

He was simply a child, his neighbor, his friend – a very close friend actually.

Takao realized that over the years, the easy camaraderie they had formed, the friendly banter, the quiet companionship, everything about it was something that Takao missed.

Whenever Shin-chan came over Takao didn't feel alone in this empty apartment. He worked so hard in the office, and at home, too, that the time spent with Midorima was something he always looked forward to. Over the years he had learned to get along with the child's moody temperament. Shin-chan was definitely amazing in anything he did. He was a talented basketball player, plus he had a good head on his shoulder.

But now.

Three weeks.

Three weeks had already passed and not once did either of them make any effort to reach out to the other. Takao supposed Midorima was still fairly angry at him for getting rejected that way. It must have taken a huge blow on the young man's pride.

On his end, Takao knew he didn't want to talk to Midorima because he was afraid.

Afraid his walls would crumble once the blasted child propositioned him again. Takao ran his clammy hand over his face, knowing that that would have been the most twisted thing he could ever do in his life. He was gay, of course so when he learned Shin-chan was attracted to him, at the back of Takao's mind, it was with no difficulty that he realized he was attracted to the boy, too.

Of course. Who wouldn't be attracted to all that hard muscle and strong arms? Midorima these days, because of his amazing form and height, was just a fucking walking wet dream.

But the age gap! What horror!

Takao slapped both his cheeks with his hands, as if trying to nudge himself awake from a bad dream. That boy grew up almost under his nose the last five years. If Takao indulged in his male fantasy of being screwed by the boy, he knew whatever dignity and self-respect he possessed would be torn in shreds. It was just too fucking wrong on so many levels. On so many levels.

But yeah, now that he was alone, he could admit to himself that he easily lusted after the boy's Adonis-like body.

Takao shuddered again, trying hard not to think how it would be like to, maybe just once, like what Midorima had angrily spouted during their fight, be pinned to the floor by that broad body. Takao was a consummate bottom, and Shin-chan just plain screamed TOP loud and clear. Takao had no doubt that once they fell into bed the boy would dominate him and fuck him through the mattress. And the crazy thing was, Takao knew he would love every moment of it!

"I need a fucking cold shower," he grumbled, standing up and heading straight to the bathroom, a telltale bulge on the front of his pants.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Over the following days, weeks, even months, Takao did his best not to have any encounter with Shin-chan. Of course chance meetings couldn't be helped.

Once they crossed paths on the street, coming from different directions, Takao coming from the grocery store and Shin-chan from the basketball park with a few of his friends.

Both of them stopped short.

Takao felt as if time stood still for a moment, but then he breathed in air to his lungs and walked ahead, as if he didn't know the boy at all. All this time his heart was beating so fast in his chest he was afraid it would jump out.

Why, oh why couldn't he just forget what Midorima had said?

Why couldn't he just put it behind them and just be friends, like how they were before all this? The answer was simple. He himself could not go back. Now that the dam had burst open, there was no way that he could close it again. The damage had been done. Whatever friendship Takao could offer the boy, it would be tinted with lust. On both their sides.

And Takao knew it would be wrong. He had not behaved this well over the years just so he could sully his hands by corrupting a fifteen year old child. It just was not in him.

He tried to forget the flash of pain he had seen in the boy's eyes when Takao ignored him. That was for the best. They could never go back to how it was.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Days were uneventful. Nights were even lonelier. As Takao sat under his kotatsu, typing on his laptop, he couldn't help but wish Shin-chan hadn't just made that confession which ruined their friendship. Even if Takao, on his own, began lusting after the boy's body, then it would just be that – a simple almost instinctive feeling that every gay man in the world had in the presence of such eye candy. He wished Shin-chan would have been straight so that the idea of hooking up wouldn't have popped up in the first place.

But damn. His apartment was so lonely and empty without Shin-chan.

Takao stopped working and dropped his face into his hand, knowing Midorima was just on the other side of the wall. What would he be doing now? Studying? Eating? Watching TV? All three?

Takao groaned against his palm. Why did he miss the boy so bad? He was the one who drove Shin-chan away!

"That boy will be the death of me," he whined.

Takao forced himself to get back to what he was doing; knowing pining over Shin-chan would amount to nothing but frustration and pent up lust.

One Sunday afternoon, Takao was busy rearranging his Living Room when there were soft knocks on the door. Takao wasn't expecting any company. Immediately his heart beat faster. Please don't let it be Shin-chan!

Takao, his heart beating like crazy, looked into the peephole. He got even more surprised.

Takao opened the door warily, coming face to face with his ex Takeru.

"Takao…"

"What are you doing here?" Takao asked softly. There was no hint of anger in his voice, only mild surprise.

Takeru looked miserable and he smiled sadly. "Can I come in?"

"Uhhh – I don't think there's a reason why I should let you in. Whatever happened in the past –"

Takeru grabbed Takao's arm and almost pleaded, "Please… Please…"

Reluctantly, he let the other man inside, glancing around outside, hoping none of the neighbors could see. When the door closed Takeru was immediately upon Takao, hugging him from behind.

"Get off me!"

"Takao, please, I'm so miserable without you. You don't know how bad I feel about what I did. I'm really sorry. I tried to tell you, but you wouldn't answer my calls or emails. I tried to move on because that was obviously what you wanted. But I can't! I just can't! I accepted the promotion from the main branch to get away from you. I didn't want to go back to the office and see you hating me. I tried to do what's right and leave you alone. But I miss you so much!" Takeru exclaimed, rushing through his words. He gripped Takao tight, burying his face at the back of Takao's neck.

"I miss you. I still love you and I will do anything you want. Just come back to me. Please."

Takao almost gave in. He was also that lonely that he was prepared to forgive his ex-lover. But Takao knew it was not that simple. It never was where Takeru was concerned.

Takao used all his strength to get away from the man, moving to the middle of the Living room. "And what about your wife?" he spat venomously. "It's not just you cheating on me. You know we can't have a proper relationship based on stolen hours at the motel!"

Takeru moved closer to him, looking desperate. "Takao, just give me time. My family is here. To tell you honestly I've been working up my courage to see you for the last couple of months but I was given the perfect opportunity just now. There is an opening for a senior accountant in the main branch and since my boss likes me so much he asked if I could refer someone even before we post the opening internally. He actually asked me if I can recommend someone! And I told him I know someone from this branch! Don't you see, Takao!? It's the perfect opportunity. You can move in with me. We can find a bigger apartment, while my wife is here."

Takao didn't know what to say. It sounded too good to be true. "But – but – what if she wanted to move your family there? The main branch is only three hours away from here. It's not like you're overseas that she can't demand to follow!"

Takeru shook his head. "You don't understand. We live in a very traditional house with her family. Her father and mother. It's like a small community where her other siblings live with their family. All our kids attend school here. She knows it's too expensive to rent a bigger place where I'm assigned when we have our own home here. She knows they cannot move in with me. I just need to make sure I come home to her once in a while. But think about it, Takao. We can move in together. If she visits, I'll tell her you're my roommate. I know bad how you feel about lying to her but –"

Takao gritted his teeth in annoyance. "That's exactly how I feel, Takeru! What we're doing… It's wrong! You're married. You're in the closet. We can never be free like that."

"It's better than nothing! I want to be with you. Only you. I'm sorry I cheated. I swear it will never happen again. I made a mistake, I'm owning up to it, and I'm asking for another chance. Please…"

Takeru wrapped his arms around Takao's waist and Takao let him, as he was too shell shocked to think of a response.

Takeru was here asking for another chance. They could move in together so that Takao wouldn't spend his days alone anymore. Takeru had said sorry, promised to never cheat again. The issue with his wife? It would take a longer time to sort it out but he and Takeru could find a way how to deal with it.

Takao was already thirty. He wasn't getting any younger. He wanted someone to be there with him for the long term.

"I still love you, Takao…" Takeru murmured. "Please, I just need one more chance."

Takao closed his eyes, torn between wanting to do what was right and his own selfish needs. In his heart, there would always be a soft spot for Takeru but going behind someone's back wasn't what Takao would call an ideal foundation of a long term relationship. "Takeru, I'm flattered you still think of me this way. I have no doubt in my mind that you will be faithful to me from now on. But… I just can't do it anymore. I can't go on deceiving your wife like this. I'm not so heartless as to ask you to leave your family completely for me. No. It's not that. But, I just can't be with you knowing we're lying through our way, hurting people as we go. I'm sorry… Maybe you can find someone else willing to bear that kind of burden. But not me."

Takeru's face looked crushed with defeat. Takao could tell the other man was fighting not to cry so he let Takeru hold him close. That was the only thing he could do at the moment to somehow comfort his ex-lover who had to deal with more issues than Takao did. He was the one still living in the closet.

"Takao… I don't know if I can bear it without you…"

"You've already done so in the past. Try harder this time. In the end when you can't deal with it anymore, the best option would be to just be honest with your family. They deserve that."

Takeru continued to hold him and when the man dropped his head on Takao's shoulder Takao let him, even ran his hand at Takeru's back comfortingly.

The door suddenly opened, startling the two men, who were still embracing. Takao gasped when he saw Midorima outside, his green eyes fixed on them.

Takao flinched, suddenly moving away from Takeru. He didn't know why he did that. He wasn't doing anything wrong! And they were in his own apartment. But he suddenly became self conscious.

"Shin-chan – is there something that you want?" Takao asked shakily.

Midorima did not reply. A play of emotions washed over his face: muted anger, mild shock and deep hurt. They were all reflected in his clear emerald eyes. Takao especially couldn't handle the pain, as if somehow, he had betrayed the boy with Takeru.

Midorima cocked his head to the side, his lips pursed, brows furrowed.

He left and went to his own apartment.

Takao ran after him, leaving a confused Takeru in the Living room.

When Takao reached for Midorima's door, he found it unlocked. So he twisted the knob open and went in. "Shin-chan I –" He stopped abruptly, taking note of the big boxes inside the house. He frowned, but then looked at the object of his crazy obsession these past months.

The boy was standing on one corner of the Living room, his back to Takao.

"Shin-chan, listen, it's not what you – "

Midorima whipped around, his eyes blazing in anger. "That person cheated on you!"

Takao was shocked. "How did you know –"

"You cried like hell because he hurt you and yet you're getting back with him?"

"I didn't say – "

"You would choose someone like him who would betray you over me just because I'm not old enough?"

"Shin-chan – "

"He hurt you!" Midorima reiterated. "He can do that again! Why would you –"

Takao raised his voice an octave higher. "Shin-chan, that's enough!"

The boy clamped his mouth shut, gritted his teeth and turned to the side. Takao stepped closer to the angry child. He had to make Shin-chan understand reason.

"I didn't get back together with him,"Takao started. When Midorima turned back to him, glaring, Takao added, "Although I don't see why it has to be your business even if I did."

Midorima backed up a little, repeatedly adjusting his glasses. "I don't want you to cry," he grumbled.

All at once Takao felt an affection so profound for the boy his chest swelled with it. He knew it was impossible to act on it, but during these months that he and Shin-chan stopped talking, he only realized how much the boy meant to him. In so many ways.

Shin-chan was his best friend. Granted he was so much younger than Takao, but when they hung out together, age didn't seem to matter. Takao realized how much he had missed the boy, now that they were finally talking to each other.

"Shin-chan…"

"Hmph!" The boy grunted and turned to the side again, avoiding eye contact with the older man. "Are you going to mock me again? Because I'm nothing but a kid?"

For the first time, Takao decided to be honest. "No. Not really. Actually I – " Takao mustered all the courage he had and laid a palm on the center of Midorima's chest, making the boy flinch in surprise. "I missed you…" he whispered.

Midorima's eyes seemed to darken even more. "Takao." He held the older man's slender wrist. He tugged, pulling Takao closer to him.

Takao used his other hand as a wedge between them. "Dear heavens, no – please… Don't make this harder for me than it already is. The truth is, since that day you told me… you wanted me… I couldn't get you out of my head. I was so used to you being in my house that I almost did not know how it was to be without you…"

Hope flared in the young boy's face. "Then –"

"But – no matter how I feel about this, I cannot be with you, even if it was just a casual one night stand. My conscience wouldn't allow me. Shin-chan, you're very young. If you are sure about your sexuality, that this is what you want, then get older first. At least. I know hormones still rule you and maybe you wouldn't be able to help wanting to be with someone… But I cannot be that. Look for someone else who will be the center of your attention. Don't ask it of me. I've come to care so much for you and Kazumi – I don't want this to get between us."

Midorima was still holding his wrist and he gripped it more tightly, breathing hard through his nose. "We're moving."

Takao frowned. "Huh?"

"Tanaka-san is moving Mom and me to Tokyo," Shin-chan stated, trying to be calm.

"What?" Tanaka was of course Kazumi's boyfriend.

"Tanaka-san's father fell ill and it looks like he's not going to get better. He's at the hospital in Tokyo. Tanaka-san and my mom are there now, taking care of the household and the business. My mom's boyfriend is the eldest male so the responsibility rests in him to manage their main store."

Takao was sure all the other details escaped him, except the fact that the Midorimas were moving. "You're leaving? You and Kazumi? But – When?"

Midorima pulled away. "Since school is out, it's as soon as possible. They're getting married, whether Tanaka's father survives or not. That has been the plan before this emergency happened. Tanaka-san is paying for my high school in Tokyo."

"But – but – how come I've never heard any of it?" Takao wailed. He knew he sounded pathetic. He wasn't exactly a member of their family.

"They had to hurry to Tokyo to fix things there. But in a few days Mom will get back and get our things. Including me."

Takao's shoulders fell. He was greatly saddened by the news that Shin-chan and Kazumi were moving out. They had been friends for so long.

"If I were older, would you – " Midorima cleared his throat. "Would you at least consider… us?"

Takao helplessly shook his head. "I don't know. It's crazy. You're too young!"

Midorima glared down at him again. "You're giving up before we can even start! I want you. I want no other. I will wait – "

"Now, stop! Hold it right there," Takao demanded. "You're putting too much pressure on me. How long are we going to wait? Three, five, ten years? I have a life, too, Shin-chan! What if I meet someone next month or the next day? You're asking me to put my life on hold just so I can oblige your – your infatuation with me. Just face it – we can never be more than anything but friends. I'm too old for you. I'm like your older brother or something. We're like family."

"Family doesn't do this!" Shin-chan growled, grabbing the front of Takao's T-shirt and crashing his lips down to the older man's.

Midorma put his one hand at the back of Takao's head, not allowing him to escape as his tongue traced Takao's lips, insistently poking, demanding to be let in.

Takao groaned deep in his throat. Midorima's mouth was so hot, and for once he allowed himself just to let go and feel. They both hissed in pleasure as Takao opened his mouth, letting their tongues intertwine. Takao simply held onto the boy's massive shoulders, his knees weak. Oh, and Shin-chan could kiss like he invented the act himself!

Takao found himself rubbing his groin against one of Shin-chan's thighs, whimpering in need. It had been a long time since he got laid in the gay bar he frequented, and even that last time was more of like releasing all his tension instead of actually savoring the pleasures of the sex itself.

But this. This liquid heat coursing through his veins, kindled by Midorima's passions, it threatened to burn Takao from where he stood. He suddenly forgot everything that he had said, his noble intentions of keeping his hands away from the boy.

Shin-chan's tongue was tracing the wet crevices of Takao's mouth, loving the sound that the smaller man was making. His big hand snaked down and found the zipper of Takao's pants. He pulled it down in haste, creating a loud noise.

Which was loud enough to jolt Takao to reality!

He pushed at Midorima's chest, wiping his mouth. The boy stumbled backward, startled.

Takao immediately zipped up his pants, a scarlet blush on his cheeks! What was wrong with him? One kiss from a middle school boy and he was so weak he couldn't control his urges! He was thirty years old damn it! If someone had to set the rules, it should be him.

"You want me, too!" Shin-chan stated. "Don't try to deny it."

"I'm not denying anything! Whether I want to sleep with you or not doesn't change facts. I don't prey on kids. If you were a girl, even if you were the one who did the seducing this is statutory rape. In my mind it's the same thing for you, Shin-chan. Can't you try to understand?"

"Then you wait for me! Wait 'til I get older!" the boy demanded.

Takao laughed harshly. "That's ridiculous! You're leaving for Tokyo. We won't see each other again! How the hell –"

"We have cellphones, Takao. We can arrange to meet –"

"Not possible. You'll be in high school. You'll be in the basketball team. What would people say if they found out you have an old man for a lover?"

"I don't care what people say! Haven't I expressed that enough?"

"Stop being childish! You're still just a child but your attitude is horrible! I'm not a toy you can keep forever just because you decided to!"

"Is that what you think? That I think of you as a toy?" Shin-chan lashed out. He was really angry this time. "First, a sexual experiment, now a toy! Is that how shallow I am to you?"

"Shin-chan, you're fifteen years old! What do you know of – "

"And now you're mocking me."

"Why can't we just part as friends, huh? Why do you make it so hard? Here, I won't lie to you! I want you. I want you so bad just the thought of you fucking my ass gets me off every night. Is that what you want to hear? Does that satisfy you? But no matter how crazed I am with how I want you or your body, at the end of the day, it's only lust. We're both men. We feel the same way. In a year or two you will forget me and move on to the next guy who will catch your fancy."

Shin-chan closed his eyes, reacting to the part where Takao said he wanted to be fucked by the boy. But the fact that Takao labeled it simply as lust hurt him far more than all the other insults Takao hurled at him. "So that's it? You'll never feel anything more for me than lust?"

"I'm gay, Shin-chan. Feeling lust for men is the easiest thing to do," Takao murmured, though he hated how that sounded.

"I see."

Midorima grew silent, and then he turned his back on the smaller man. "I'll continue packing. Excuse me."

"Shin-chan, wait! Are we going to leave it like this? We've been friends for five years! More than friends, like I said we're like – errr – family. Are you going to leave with this thing between us?"

"I told you. I don't want to be your friend. I'm going to my room."

Mouth hanging open, Takao stood in the middle of the room, knowing nothing had been resolved between them. The bitterness Shin-chan was feeling was so tangible Takao could almost grasp it. But what was he supposed to do?

He was afraid a one night stand wouldn't be enough for the boy, knowing how Shin-chan could be passionate about things he loved. Once he set his mind into doing something, he never stopped doing it until it got perfect. Takao knew if he gave Shin-chan the chance to hold on to the idea that they had a chance together, Shin-chan would probably come over to visit every weekend. Tokyo was in a different district, about a six hour drive from here. It would be foolish if Shin-chan wouldn't concentrate on his studies and basketball club just so he could visit Takao. And if people knew -

No, it was out of the question.

Takao needed his own life, too. Yes, he still had casual sex with men in the gay bar he visited, but in reality, since the breakup with Takeru, since Midorima started coming over frequently again, Takao felt content. Complete. He didn't know if it was because of the companionship the boy extended to him. All he knew was that whenever he was with Shin-chan, he felt no need to think of being in a relationship with other men, whether casual or long term. Shin-chan did it for him like that, soothed him, calmed him.

And he only realized that it might have meant something to him, too, when Shin-chan confessed. In Takao's mind, he had never entertained the thought of separation so he always assumed nothing would change, that he and the boy would still continue to be friends for years and years to come.

Dear heavens, I can't fall in love with a fifteen year old boy! He grumbled to himself, clutching at his chest.

Takao went back to his apartment, sent Takeru home and dropped onto his sofa, feeling exhausted, both emotionally and mentally.

The Midorimas were leaving. Moving out. For five years they had been his closest friends. And now they would be leaving.

Life was really sad.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

That Saturday, Takao was reading a book on the sofa when he heard engine noises outside. He looked out the window, gasping. A big truck was outside and men were hauling out Kazumi's furniture one by one. So today was the day they would be moving out.

Takao sat back on the sofa, burying his face on the armrest. Should he go over there and say goodbye? But what if Shin-chan was there and began demanding they become lovers again? What if Kazumi heard? Oh, that would be horrifying. Sometimes, Shin-chan didn't really know how to be subtle. He just went with whatever he wanted to do, with no thought to the ramification of his action.

Takao supposed it was cute sometimes, not showing any hesitation whenever you truly wanted something, but it just didn't work that way for everything.

In the end, Takao decided not to come out. He really wanted to say goodbye to Kazumi and Shin-chan, but it would just feel so awkward for him.

Takao sighed, trying to get back to reading his book when knocks sounded on the door. When he looked at the peephole she found Kazumi standing outside.

Exhaling sharply, Takao opened the door. "Kazumi."

She bowed low, full of respect. "We'll be moving in Tokyo, Shintarou and I. Tanaka's father is getting worse, sad to say. Their family is only waiting for – uhhh – the day when he… passes away. It looks like there's nothing else anyone can do," She sadly said. "Shintarou told me he has mentioned this to you before. That we'll be moving. I just got back in from Tokyo last night. And Tanaka remains there."

Takao nodded. "Yeah, I heard from Shin-chan."

"Thank you for your kindness. Over the years. You've taken care of my son so well. And of me, too, in a lot of ways. You've helped me out so much. I cannot find enough words how to thank you," she said, bowing low again.

Takao bowed in return. "You have been a great friend, too. And – uhh – Shin-chan, too. I wish you well in Tokyo."

Then she smiled shyly, a faint blush staining her cheeks. "I will… mail you our wedding invitation. It may happen in a few months because the family is preparing for the mourning. So it may not happen at once."

"I'm happy for you, Kazumi. Really."

"Thank you so much."

At that moment, Shin-chan got out of their house, carrying his luggage, about to walk to the car Kazumi had rented.

Takao froze right where he stood. Shin-chan glanced at him, his usually stormy eyes cool, his face expressionless.

"Shintarou, say goodbye to Takao here!" Kazumi called out.

Takao nervously fidgeted, alternately putting his weight on each foot. He hoped Kazumi wouldn't notice how uncomfortable he looked. He hoped Shin-chan wouldn't make a scene here in front of his mother.

The boy dutifully bowed his head, saying in a low tone. "Thank you very much for everything, Takao-san."

Takao was a little startled with the honorific although he did not express any obvious outward reaction. As soon as Shin-chan said the words, he hurried to the passenger seat of the rented car.

Both relieved and a little sad that he and Shin-chan would be parting with a lot of issues hanging between them, Takao let out a shaky breath. It was all for the best.

He waved at Kazumi one last time as she got into the driver's seat. Shin-chan looked straight ahead, not bothering to even glance Takao's way.

Takao held in his breath, hoping at least, even once, Midorima would glance or wave at him. But no, the child simply stared straight ahead, not even saying a proper goodbye. It hurt. Takao had to lean on the door, unable to believe how much pain he was feeling right now.

The apartment next door was again, empty.

Xxxxxxxxxxxx

Okay, I promised this would be the last chapter. So I'm really really sorry that I'm extending it by another chapter. I just can't cram in all the words here and if I push it, it may affect the quality of the story. Besides, I'm at 8K plus plus words already. Story's almost done. Thanks for all those who liked it.